Do Not Attempt This at Home

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Do Not Attempt This at Home

“Do Not Attempt This at Home”

This is a disclosure we often see on TV or newspaper ads when someone is offering medical help or advice on how to solve a problem or repair something.  It’s also good advice if we have a family member going through an addiction.  Except for this advice, who we all agree is good for others, think it doesn’t apply to us.

I had this very same experience several years ago in the early years of the beginning of Shenandoah Valley Teen Challenge.  While trying to build a ministry to help others with life-controlling problems, there was one developing right under my own roof.  But of course, with a college degree, I had all the answers. But it is very different when the problem is that close to home.  All the education and expertise you think you have when it’s your own doesn’t matter. Even if you have a reasonable IQ your EQ may be too high.

What is EQ?

Wikipedia’s definition of EQ is: Emotional intelligence (EI) or emotional quotient (EQ) is the capacity of individuals to recognize their own, and other people’s emotions, to discriminate between different feelings and label them appropriately, and to use emotional information to achieve one’s goals.

Here are a couple of facts that the experts say about people with high EQ’s. ( Kendra Cherry)

1. They are able to regulate their emotions. Self-regulation is absolutely central to emotional intelligence. Understanding your emotions is great, but not particularly useful if you cannot make use of this knowledge. Emotionally intelligent people think before they act on their feelings. They are in tune with how they feel, but they do not let their emotions rule their lives.

2. They are motivated. Emotionally intelligent people are motivated to achieve their goals and capable of managing their behaviors and feelings in order to achieve long-term success. They might be nervous about making a change in their lives, but they know that managing this fear is important. By taking a leap and making the change, they know that they might make their lives better and come one step closer to attaining their goals.  When dealing with loved ones, I have met very few people that fall in this category.

Emotional intelligence can play a major role in how we interact with others. Sometimes coworkers, employers, friends, family members and other acquaintances might struggle with poor emotional skills that make social situations difficult and fraught with tension. Especially at home.  In other cases, it might even be your own emotional intelligence skills that need a little work.

Psychologist David Caruso says; “It is very important to understand that emotional intelligence is not the opposite of intelligence, it is not the triumph of heart over head — it is the unique intersection of both.”–From (“Emotional What?”)

We may have an intelligent goal to try to solve a problem within our own household, but our hearts get in the way.

My advice, don’t get too emotionally involved and seek help.

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