Beyond Addiction: Building Strength & Wellness with John Higginbotham

well welcome to another episode of the podcast thank you guys so much for tuning in and continuing to engage with the content that we put out on recovery and addiction related topics and I'm excited because today on rebuilding life after addiction I've got one of our early guest on John higinbotham who is a health coach and fitness expert and man a friend as well and I'm excited to be able to talk to him again and for those of you who are watching if you're catching this at the beginning please take a moment and hit the like button and leave us a comment let us know where you're watching from if you're watching this on YouTube please hit the Subscribe button and also leave us a comment below as well all of your engagement helps these conversations get out to more people and as we go into the new year we're going to talk about everybody's favorite topic that they like to think about immediately after going through the Christmas and Thanksgiving holidays and eating a lot we're going to talk about living a healthy lifestyle in regards to diet exercise and there's a lot more that goes into that but I've asked John specifically to come in and talk a little bit about the idea of diet and exercise as it contributes to recovery right as it contributes to the process of getting free from drugs and what role living completely Healthy Lifestyles matter and assist in that John I was telling you a little bit Offline that one of the things I've seen over the years working with Folks at teen Challenge and yeah just seeing folks get free from addiction but then like they start to put weight on and there's a point where they start to put weight on and it just it doesn't stop right they keep putting the weight on and yeah so I want to talk to you a little bit about that today but man first off how are you doing good I wasn't yeah I was looking forward to being here and it's a it's a weekend when we're recording this so I always enjoy my weekends a little bit so it's good to be here and it's a fun topic because so many things that are involved in addiction or in health and fitness or diet all they all tie into the same Pathways of behavior and so I'm not I call myself a health coach but really at the end of the day the way that we're trained it's really I'm a behavior specialist a behavior change specialist so I think it I think they're very related yeah as you and I have talked about before so I'm happy to be here man thanks for having yeah thanks so much for coming on and man I'm excited because I know you've got a a group coaching program that you're launching very soon for fol folks that are looking for some assistance in this whole process and man we'll on definitely give some folks some direction on how they can connect with you on that here at the end of the conversation but on having that accountability is so important and so let's let's Dive Right In man and talk about you talk about the similarities and it might be good to recap that a little bit right in our last conversation for those who aren't here I'll drop the link in the description you can go back and check out that conversation but on so Behavior changes in regards to diet and exercise and then Behavior changes that often need to take place in the recovery Journey making the decision to quit using drugs and alcohol right what are the similarities there can you unpack that a little bit sure yeah I'm not a a doctor or a neuroscientists or anything like that but the dopamine pathway is really it's the same no matter what the addiction is so the amount of times the amount of time that it takes to become addicted or to break an addiction are really the same so they're very related it's still that reward pleasure reward pain pleasure pathway so you could treat them very similarly yeah so that's it's they're so related they're the same thing to say that they're not the same thing is would not be accurate so when you say how long that the amount of time that it takes for somebody to become addicted in regards to what's happening with the dopamine and the reward system and all that what does that typically look like so there's there's always your body always has this play between having these dopamine spikes and then resetting that and the problem is that we reset that but whether we're eating a donut or snorting some coke we're we're spiking our dopamine and then every time after that it takes a little bit more of that or maybe the maybe not necessarily more but less time between your addictions to create the same dopamine Spike so to to break that addiction it's it's going to take the first 10 days is going to stink and then I tell people the first two weeks so whether it's food or whether it's meth right it's going to take you the same amount of time to break that but we can get into maybe how to do that but the time frames are the same and I don't know exactly what you teach in drug recovery or addiction recovery when it relates to drugs but most everything else I would imagine the same but you have to be away from the addiction and so that's why treatment programs are so good because sometimes the addiction is so strong that you have to be away from it you can't have access right so but breaking that addiction it's probably going to take 30 days to reset those dope mean levels and so it's a progression the first 10 to 14 days is really painful yeah and then it starts to let up but I didn't actually purposely wear this shirt but you really do I don't know what yeah certainly is but it you do if you just concentrate on the day then you don't have to win the 30 days right that it takes to reset those dopamine levels you just need to win today do what needs to be done today yeah so yeah it's interesting you mentioned that two weeks you because at TC we typically we're more of a discipleship Ministry than we are a drug treatment program we happen to work with folks that are dealing with addiction but like your TC is typical two we blackout when they come in right because the first two weeks The Temptations are higher you get on the phone with somebody a little bit more stress and it's out the door like a light and so we always had that two we period in there where there is like and it stinks it's a shock at first I'm going to be disconnected from everybody I know everybody I love for two weeks but the reality is that those two first two weeks are always so difficult and problematic that it doesn't take much right for a relapse or to run back in that period And so you talk about the dopamine and so diet and exercise right let's just get into the topic that nobody wants to talk about right most people unlike you want to talk about it all the time so but like man like the diet and exercise portion in early stages of recovery how does that contribute to the process right of helping what's going on with the dopamine and all of that like what role does that play yeah it's really addictive personalities really you need to well addictive personalities especially need to have another addiction or at least they feel the need so that's usually where these new behaviors come up so it's making sure that you're not doing the one thing that you're trying to avoid but also filling those that dopamine because we get whether it's eating a doughnut or like we talked about earlier whether it's eating a donut or snorting some coke you're getting a dopamine boost from that so yeah taking yeah resetting for 30 days is really a key so replacing that and not developing new bad habits is really something that you need to focus on yeah that's good and so let's say John I am fresh into my recovery journey I am looking at this process man and sometimes I think I think sometimes diet and exercise especially at the beginning can be overlooked because I'm just trying to get off of whatever insert drug here right and so but like if I'm starting this journey out from just from your perspective and I know you're not a doctor and obviously I would recommend anybody that's going to start a heavy exercise routine the day after they start using stop using drugs have a conversation with your doc so you don't kill yourself like like I think there is some common sense there and I just want to put that out there for disclaimer disclosure like but like if I'm getting going in this journey what are some of the first and most important EX exercises or changes that you'd recommend that I make I'm living a seditary lifestyle I am coming off the drug lifestyle and I'm facing this thing from day one what steps should I take going forward yeah that's a good question it if you're coming from a sedentary lifestyle then I would just immediately set up some something that takes you out of that sedentary lifestyle whether it's especially if you're in a place where you're removed from society a little bit doing body weight exercises whether it's push-ups or sit-ups or air squats or you can you there are ways to do things like shoulder presses and do your sit-ups and or pull-ups on a door jam or something but developing a habit of just saying Hey listen I need I know I'm fighting this addiction I need to fight that addiction with another healthy addiction being addicted to an endorphin rush from exercise is another way of feeling better and so replacing one replacing a bad habit with a good habit is probably the easiest step I think in getting somebody to that next you to a full 30-day recovery plus and we're talking about right a holistic recovery realistically and looking at all the angles right it's mind body and spirit and being able to focus on all of that and you practically speaking man some of the biggest battles for those of us battling addiction whatever that might be are up here and getting the Mind squared away and being able to you start to think properly again and what role does exercise and diet play in our thoughts right and getting Clarity of thoughts I know i' I've read things about on a lack of sleep and other stuff and how it impacts your thinking processes but what about lack of exercise in regards to what it steals from US versus adding exercise in regards to what it adds to our thought processes and how we think more clearly yeah well getting oxygen to your brain is such a big piece I think I think developing I think there's five basic pillars of health and that is one is you got to move secondly you have to breathe you need mindful eating you need good sleep and you need hydration so literally if you can just focus on those five things oh gosh man it just set you off on the right path yeah so sometimes like I know people that are struggling with addiction man we tend to be what's the word like all in or not at all right like we are like hardcore and I think sometimes that mindset can set us up for failure and can create some obstacles because we end up starting a path or a pattern that is not sustainable for the long run and so then we hit our first few obstacles and it's like the disappointment sets in and now I just stop all of it rather than adjusting and and so this is applicable to people in recovery or just folks trying to get to a better and a healthier lifestyle but what obstacles do you see people face right when they're starting to try to adjust their diet and exercise routines and how do you help people how would you encourage people to navigate some of those obstacles that they start to face when they're trying to implement this lifestyle yeah that's a great question I think just developing the new habits of like I've heard of folks and actually I've used the technique but you just going to the gym literally even if you only walk in and spent five minutes and then walked out but you developed the habit of five days a week or whatever your goal is of actually just doing the thing just that in itself just starts to create a better and a new pattern right and so that's that's one place I think I'd start yeah so just building that habits and so what about like for when the obstacles pop up right so let's say I've been rolling for a week or two and then I don't know man there are 30,000 reasons right that somebody could find to not make time for their exercise or slip by McDonald's and decide to order the Double Quarter Pounder meal with the large fry and the large Coke right or the diet coke to make us feel better and feel like we're doing something good for ourselves but some of those obstacles that pop up what do those look like and yeah wow there unfortunately they're endless and so I think the thing to do from the beginning is and we do this from a health coaching model where we ask people what do you see that could prevent from making this one change so we narrow it down to what are the actions that you want to take and then so in action number one what are what do you see as some of the op obstacles it's eating well my kids love this food and so when I cook this is so what I'm saying so when we come up with what the goal is to achieve and then we name these obstacles and then we address those what are ways that we can overcome that obstacles how can we add accountability with other people and getting other people in your life to be on your team to give you Hey listen I'm going to tell five of my closest friends that I'm going to do this thing and I'm going to do it consistently and can I report into you every day and if you don't hear from me can you give me a heads up and hit me up and go hey did you do the thing and I think that's getting enlisting people to help you the people that love you and care about you and that want to see the change and then identif one first the goal and then secondly the obstacles and what are some ways that we can avoid those obstacles or address them when they come up yeah that's that's really good you talk about accountability and that's such an important topic right and we man we hit on that all the time in the recovery world that accountability is so vital and what do you I guess that's the part right where I see a lot of people struggle with like maybe it's self reliance maybe it's Pride not wanting to feel like we're admitting our weakness by inviting people in and having to ask folks for help right I me that I think the 12 steppers like really the first step is always admitting our powerlessness over this right and it really is acknowledging that we can't do this alone if we could we would have already done it Al alone right and so there's that process of making the adjustments in our life and being humble enough and being committed enough to our growth that we're willing to bring some other people in and my buddy and I Rob that gets on here with me a lot man the co-host and we talked a few weeks ago about like relationships and fellowship and how important that is in every area of life and that we need accountability Partners not codefendants right like and that distinction there of being able to engage that good accountability to help man have you struggled with that ever like you're reaching out and being able to engage with accountability in your health Journey have you been pretty self-reliant or like I love to hear some of your story on that yeah when it comes to my health I've had some as and maybe some of your audience don't know I've had some obstacles that were pretty much in my face that I needed I don't know if you would like for me to address that a little bit go yeah 60 feet fall off of ravens Roost 15 years ago put me on a path where I was told that I probably wouldn't be able to walk right or at all and that I might have some neurological problems and that yeah being faced with a challenge like that like honestly a lot of people with any addiction it's a huge obstacle and so I think having something in your face like that you man I couldn't have done it without other people I've learned in business and in friendships and families and even my addictions that I need other people need people and I think maybe admitting that first is probably probably a good idea but man I tell you what I couldn't have made it through any of my any of my challenges without enlisting the people that cared for me the most yeah and even if you don't have a lot of people around you that you feel like care there's somebody there and you need to se search those folks out and enlist them even if there's only one person or or two but as many people as you can get on your team and and let them know what your goals are and that Hey listen I know we all need an accountability will you help me with this I think would just be tremendous yeah that's that's really good man and I think it's important I think the context there that like we're here we're on this call right and you're you're in shape people see that but like sometimes you see that and it's like man that's a mountain I could never get to he's already there but you hear the journey that this just wasn't overnight that there was some insurmountable odds that you had to overcome and part of that is maintaining the discipline and the health but also realizing that I've got to engage some other people in this process and helping me through the Journey and to get where you're at today and tomorrow I'm preaching on really going into the New Year everybody starts talking about resolutions and goals and sometimes we set these extremely lofty goals which I think is good I don't have a problem with setting big goals but the direction I'm going with the message is that if the heart isn't prepared the weight of the goal when we achieve it can actually crush us so we could be praying for something and expecting an outcome that we're not prepared for right and I think that's the part of this journey of health and trying to maintain motivation and whatnot it's like okay I know that this is going to be difficult I've struggled with it my entire life and what whatever that might be so I'm going to do the work of propping the goal up because it's going to greatly increase my chances of actually hitting that goal if I put the proper support in place and I'd love to talk to you about that for a minute the strategies maybe for maintaining that motivation right we talked about one which is good accountability but what other strategies would you suggest for somebody because New Year's resolutions what do they say typically they're all broken within the first week of the year yeah week to 10 days is so how do I get past the 10 days John when the no really I hate to keep coming back to that but it really is figuring out what your goal is and then breaking that goal down into 24hour pieces you can't it's like I tell folks sometimes that are that I coach for weight loss let's say and weight loss somebody wants to I gained 40 I was 244 4 pounds when I fell off Ravens Roost and I'm I'm about 40 pounds less than that now but I didn't put that 40 extra pounds on in a day I didn't even put them on in 30 days so I needed to have a goal for I needed to break that down is what is my not daily but what's my weekly or monthly goal on this thing so grab the goal and then break it down into bite-sized pie pieces hey had the best way to eat of elephant right is one bite at a time yeah right and so your elephant might be your you might be the elephant in the room I've been there so yeah one bite at a time and I think taking your taking it's great to have big goals but I think you set yourself up for failure if you don't now take that goal and then break it down into bite-sized pieces that you can achieve a little bit at a time so you get these little wins and those little wins give you that dopamine Spike right the dopamine that you're trying to replace you're now getting these daily wins and you set yourself up for failure if you don't break those down into bite-sized pieces and I think that's the best way to keep a positive mental attitude and just keep going forward now I don't know if you've read a book I know is by Jeff olssen it's called the slight Edge and it really is about mastering the mundane doing one thing each day every day and just taking what's in front of you and winning the day and completing your goal so breaking that goal down into bite-sized daily pieces I think is the only way to do it without setting yourself up for failure I had a go to lose 40 pounds but I knew I wasn't going to drop it in no time so yeah having those bite-sized pieces those broken down goals U is huge yeah and that's that's so good man and I think that again not to keep beating the drum of community but like having those people around you that can help you man sort through those goals right and not discounting the little steps of progress that's what makes recovery programs so powerful right like places like TC it's the encouragement on the little WIS it's it's when you when a guy pauses in the middle of the day to pray for somebody else instead of going off on them it's like hey that's a win well done and it's like most of us I think sometimes we're like well why should I celebrate something they should just be doing anyways it's because it's that motivation it's that encouragement that you praise the behaviors we do this with our kids all the time we praise the behaviors we want to see repeated and even as adults we still respond to that same thing and we when we're encouraged and we're praised in something like we continue in that pattern and so I think that part of community and working with somebody that's able to dissect these goals with us and say hey I know you want to lose a 100 pounds and that's a tremendous goal but not to tell you that you can't reach that but let's break that down into some short range goals let's get to five pounds first right you whatever that is and how do we then break that down into what actions do I have to take on a daily basis and those are the things those simple actions right are the ones that we're praising day after day that accountability that support man it's so it's so good man and so let's talk about your upcoming group coaching program John and and I am segueing right into this on purpose because man you're rolling out an 90day group coaching program for this purpose right to get with people provide Community accountability and for the person that is like I know that I need help I know that I need to do something different you're going to help them structure that right and figure out what it is they need to do like I don't I there's so much information on the internet and it's hard to decide like who do I listen to right who do I engage with my sister she is like a Google expert you're right so I think we talked about this last time she every time she has a cough she's got six conditions and like I say that in Jess but talk to me a little bit about your group coaching program and what that's going to look like yeah well it's you're right that having a group of people that are in your corner that know that are there to help celebrate your wins and that can be there to encourage you and you them because I saw a study once that talked about people that that do good for other people they experience this endorphin rush for doing good but actually just being just actually seeing someone do good for other people actually gives you the same endorphin endorphin rush and so being in a group not only does it not only do you get the help right and you get the encouragement but you can be an encouraged to other people and it just man it just feeds on itself and so I'm I'm excited about it I know sometimes in group sessions there might be things that people don't want to share but we can a lot of times talk offline about that stuff but yeah being in a group and I'm looking forward to it's it's going to be a lot of fun group coaching is a little bit more difficult than one on-one but we'll do the same things and then we'll have a I'll have a group of accountability partners that can help encourage us to to make those changes that we want to make even if it's just something as small as getting better sleep or drinking it's drinking water staying hydrated not alcohol yeah right yeah sure we're not gonna be Health coaching over shots at Tequila No I could do a whole video on alcohol and its effect on the human body and I I it's I don't want to be a buzz kill to anybody maybe I do yeah but it's yeah that's terrible stuff but I'm I'm really looking forward to the group coaching thing and and then how we can put that together and help make a change for a group of that's awesome so you be you've got John the expert the health coach and the practitioner of this stuff and that's the part right it's like we're we're taking advice we're connecting with somebody who's done this and man I know John has just spent the last several months probably I'm probably downsizing the amount of time that he's been engaging in training and courses and working on this process of you getting cert board certified and all the stuff that you're working on like and the expertise that you carry and so being able to take 90 days out of the first of the year connect with a group of people like-minded people on a weekly basis that just want to see their health improveed and we we hit on this our last conversation where we talked about the why behind it all right and it's it's figuring out the why for you and I mentioned that like it's crazy I still probably I need to adjust personally with some Diet stuff but like man i' I've been more intentional the last couple months just cutting back on stuff and not eating as much and working on that part of my life and on and the reality of it I think when we talked last time was that man I was putting weight on and realizing it when I Chas my daughter across the yard like and you feel that and it's like oh like and those are the type of things that start to have you look at this I went to the doctor six months ago and they had been keeping track of my blood pressure for the last year and it's one thing I'm one of those people that get really nervous in the doctor's office and my blood pressure always spikes a little bit I probably had a shot of espresso before going in there but she had tracked this over a year and my blood pressure was not good and I went home and had that convers with my wife they're going to put me on blood pressure meds and she looks at me and she's like you got to take care of yourself like we need you and that like man that hits and over the last couple months like I've went back to the doctor blood pressure is back at normal levels what I'm saying but some of those heart-to-heart-to-heart-to-heart conversations some of those things really start to move that needle and I would just challenge folks that are listening to this and I'm going to I'm gonna give you a second to chime in on this John I promise I'm gonna stop preaching but ask the why what is the motivation for doing this what is the drive right we all have things that we want to do in life and one of the things I love about talking to you John is that you are consistently you're consistently talking about just wanting to help make people's lives better like I don't want to see somebody die a slow painful death for something that can be prevented and that is the heart behind it right and so I'd love for you to speak to that for just a few minutes as we close out man and encouraging folks to find that why yeah no man I've we all have done this so I know I'm not in the room by myself but we watch family members literally dig their own grayes with their teeth and they have terrible habits they don't exercise they don't do anything and I want to be able to just get out in the yard or even on a ball field and play with my grandkids and have them just remember those days of my grandpa did this was like really my dad couldn't do that but and it's not because of somebody can or can it's just the fact of being with my family and being able to participate in their lives and enjoy that man I tell you what it's I used to tell people that you can't outtrain a bad diet but I'm beginning to think that maybe you can well or at least you can help because the one thing that you need to do is definitely is get some movement get some blood pressure going and I don't know I think that's I we've all watched family members go through things and have health scares and I think to I my I have a father who is diabetic he's type two and I hate to say this but type two diabetes is self-inflicted so it's not type one so you didn't you weren't born with a pancreas that wouldn't make insulin you were you actually killed off and or killed off some of your pancreas a lot of times the beta cells in your pancreas can just literally not be able to function after so many years but our the biggest glucose sink we have are our muscles so getting active moving and breathing and eating well man just makes such a big difference in how you feel day to day living longer and being able to do more longer being able to get out in the yard with your kids or your grandkids and it's it's it's a real thing that it's just one of those habits that we need to pick up and developing some short range or long both short and long range plan of just going for a walk the first week is something that in the end will end just saving people massive amounts of heartache and you feel so much better life is so much more enjoyable when you can do the things that you want to do and so I'm just I'm in I'm looking forward to I've been in the mortgage business for years for 22 years now in real estate for five years before that and this is for me just a passion I first was inflicted with some injuries that I put on myself falling 60 feet but that led me to really look at what made me more physically capable and so I really want to do that for other people I want even if they're just small changes I don't want to be like that I don't want to eat that extreme or whatever but just making small changes will make massive differences and they're just small winds that stack back up on each other and that just contribute greatly to your life you don't realize it until you actually started to experience so can I ask you then 22 years in the mortgage business five years doing real estate that's 27 years of doing something in the same field and now here you are how old are you John 56 you're 56 and you're pursuing a career in health coaching right that's a big leap and I know people think about that making that change at this stage of Life man and like speak to the motivation behind that for a few minutes because that's pretty significant that you're at this place of wanting to make this change in your life to help people can you go a little deeper into your motivation on that yeah I when I it's funny how you learn things and you learn them along the way you would have thought I learned 15 years ago when I fell off the cliff but you don't realize I don't think you I don't know I let me start over you don't realize you think you would realize right away the things that change but sometimes change is a slow process but for me it's I realized what really mattered my I had a great Mortgage business it was actually much better then than it is now and not just because of the economy because I was in the mortgage business in 2008 in a credit crisis and I survived and we all made plenty of money after that but that wasn't achievement and success became less important less important than significance like I want to when I pass away I want people to show up at my funeral for a lot of reasons but mainly because that guy did this for me and I literally I don't I can't say I don't care about making money because we all have to keep the electricity on but it there are other things that matter more achievement and helping other humans and witnessing I've had people that I've Coast in the past that literally have lost a 100 pounds plus and just to hear their to them tell you thank you with tears in their eyes that just it's not something that nobody ever I don't remember a time when I did a mortgage for something somebody they cried they got tearful over it but they lost 100 pounds and we're all 12 different men that makes a differ probably crying now when they see the interest rates for the wrong reasons no that's that's so powerful that thing about success and significance and yeah I heard a preacher quote this a few years ago and it stuck with me ever since he said you he was speaking to a group of pastors and he said you spend the first 10 years of your ministry chasing success and the next 30 chasing significance and that man that has hit me because I even in my Ministry walk like early on it was numbers how many students can I get in the program how big can we make the church and the Lord's been dealing with me a lot on that man on focusing a little more on depth than width right and what you're talking about that type of significant life change like that 100 pounds lost for somebody like I know how good I feel when I knock five pounds off like I can't imagine the difference in the transformation and like for those who are listening that hear that and it's like it's it's it's even for the same thing for a person reaching out on the phone I need to get help and break addiction right it seems insurmountable It seems impossible and it's like but we don't have to fix everything today we've just got to take the first step and let's break this down let's just take that first step and the benefit of engaging with folks and connecting to somebody like yourself is that they're engaging with somebody that's going to walk with them on every single step because some people I don't I know the support systems don't exist they're not great for everybody and for those of us we can sit in the middle of that and say hey I have nobody to help me or we can start to pursue the people that will pour into our lives right and that's the part where no matter what the struggle is the personal responsibility element comes in right and that's not a shame based thing but at some point we've got to move Beyond and just make a decision and I'm going to make that decision and I would encourage folks watching today I am pitching hard for John right now because I know your conversation and your time in his group coaching program will change your life if you commit to the process and so we're going to drop that information down below if you're on YouTube if you're on Facebook John will be tagged in the post as well and I would encourage you to check with him and U follow him and all that stuff John do you have any parting words man as we close out well man I tell you what I appreciate you not necessarily well for what you do for me as a friend but also for what you do and I think the people that have broken addictions in the past become the most significant in knowing how to help other people change and so I just really commend you for what you do your channel and your work at Teen Challenge and anybody that I can help make a change it doesn't even need health to me is not taking drugs too it's not just what you put in your mouth or in your but also what you might put in your arm and up your nose right and so I'm I'm happy to help anybody because man just it's just to me just that's the juice yeah so I appreciate all the work you do man that's I think I think because of your past is what's going to be so great about your future and I know that you and I both give God the glory for that but you had a lot of people that God put in your life and they you did the work but sometimes we just need a little help and so anytime I can be a help to anybody i' I'd love to help no matter what it's about yeah and I think that's that shift right as we start to mature we realize that having help in people in our life is not a detractor but it becomes an asset right the friendships and the relationships are the greatest asset that we could have as humans it's just outside of our Salvation right that's the gift that can never be taken away but what's the old statement it's not what it to and that applies in so many areas and well John thanks man I appreciate you jumping on and chatting up about this and we'll have to get together and have that boo conversation and break down some of the stuff because there's some great information out there but hearing about like some of the impacts of all of that but for those watching please take a moment smash the like is that what they smash hit the like button leave me a comment if you had any questions in this conversation stuff that popped up please drop those in the comments and we'll do our best to get back to those and we'll see you again real soon with another episode God bless you guys and have a wonderful day thank you for watching