Is the Internet Taking Over Your Life? Shocking Study Results!

Managing Digital Boundaries

Realize that having it in my hand is sending a message whether I think it is or not. It will just say something to me, just stop me, you know? Well, we don't want to disrupt your work. So on one hand, I'm asking them to be respectful and respect my boundaries so that I can work when I'm one work. But on the other hand, I'm not respecting their boundaries and making it clear when I'm not working. And that's the challenge of digital addiction, right? And social media interaction, it's like—and I think that's a tell-tale sign that you're addicted to something if you put blame on someone else rather than taking the responsibility yourself.

Exploring Internet Addiction

So let's talk about our topic today. I was scrolling through the internet, not addicted, and I found an article that talked about internet addiction. I thought this was rather interesting because the article said they did this new study and broke down the different categories of internet addiction. And, you know, I got the article; I'm gonna pull it up here in a second. Just before we go into the article, initial thoughts, hot takes on internet addiction.

Yeah, dude. What is ASEA? We as X-AX are procrastinators. I'm enhancements as us focusing on everyone else's problems as a distraction from facing our own stuff. Yeah, that's good, dude. Yeah. So my thoughts on internet addiction, dude, that is a real thing. It's so funny, like my wife and I, we've been challenged to try to sleep with our phones downstairs, rather than charging on our nightstand. That makes me nervous, just you talking about it. I get anxious just hearing that, you know? But you don't realize it. The first thing that you generally do when you wake up is check your phone to see how many notifications you have. There's like this itch. It's like, oh, like who texts me? What did I miss? Did somebody follow my page or did somebody like my post? Like we're looking for this release of dopamine.

The Impact of Technology on Daily Life

I will be the first to admit that I get addicted to my phone, and if I don't have my phone near me, there's a little bit of a problem because I'm like, this is part of who I become in essence. Based upon the culture and the society that I'm living in nowadays, where it's socially acceptable to have a phone at your disposal or in your hand 24-7, everyone's on social media, your work involves a phone, your fitness now, your health—right? Check your heart rate. All these different things revolve around technology. So for someone to say that they don't need their phone or they don't use their phone is kind of pretty absurd nowadays. And there are people that are out there that are off-grid, and I give kudos and I'm all about that. But we— I don't have a cell signal.

Yeah. Right? But in real life, we need it. And I think there's a big difference between the need and the want, right? And I'm distinguishing the two because there are people that are very good at managing, especially nowadays where you have on your phone that says how much time you've been on your—how much screen time you've had. And looking at like four hours or five hours of screen time, it might not seem like a lot, but that's a long time. That's almost somebody's full hour of work shift.

Categories of Internet Users

Yeah. Hours on. Like what were you doing that long, you know? Yeah, I know, I've got mine open. So I, 90% of my work, right? I edit videos for people. I do social media content for people, you know, doing the podcast. Even my sermon prep, 90% of my work, I've got a computer open. And so, and then in the middle of that workday, my phone is opened right next to me. And so, like, like it's like, man, I'm on the internet constantly. Like I don't know how my work would function without having access. Tech is just integrated into everything we do. And so like how do we find that balance of using something healthily? You know what I'm saying?

Let me, let me pull the article up. So this is on the New York Post, and I've also got the study here on the website. But New York Post talked about this. So they said that the internet addiction spectrum detailed in the study finds out where you rank in the scale. And so I guess they broke down this study of internet addiction and gave some categories to those who are using the internet and addiction. So you've got casual users, 14.86%. These are the folks that go online for specific tasks. They log off without lingering. They show no signs of addiction or are generally older with an average of 33. I am not old—go on.

What the heck? Anyways, they're the last interesting and exploring new apps. And so casual users. So I guess those are—I mean, I guess those would be my parents, right? Yeah. They probably don't even log on or off to you. Right. It's just how you make a phone call and that's about it. And then you've got initial users. They find themselves one long line longer than they initially planned. They're somewhat neglectful of household chores but don't consider themselves addicted. They're moderately interested in apps, have an average age of 26.

The Impact of Labels on Identity

They're neglectful of household chores. No, you're just a child. That's, yeah. Right. I've got my phone with me while I'm cleaning. Like so. I almost want to say that I'm an initial user, but I don't neglect household chores. Like now you're organizing me as this individual. So now like when culture sees me. See, this is the thing with these kind of things where it has different set, like, what's your rank? Because think about what that does to somebody's mind when they read this and they're like, well, hold up. Am I this? Now you've identified yourself and this is why it's so important to understand your identity in Christ.

And this is just good. Let's take on this, right? Because now you're going to identify yourself as an addict because of how you use your device. Rather than seeing yourself in the light, in the image of who God has created you to be, right? And so like, is using your device a bad thing? Is it a good thing, right? It's like the tree of knowledge of good and evil, right? Like there's—maybe that's even a bad point. So like just take that out of the equation when I'm there. I'm sorry. Delete. But no, I don't think that out for you, kid.

I think it's just amazing to me because we're a culture where it's like, this is who you are or this is who you are. And so like people are not really engaging who they are according to God's word. They're engaging who they are according to the studies of America. And I think that's dangerous. It's good, but it's also dangerous at the same time. I don't know what your thoughts are on that. But like just reading this even right here, I don't know if I'm offended or I just—you're probably an addict. Yeah, maybe I'll just almost step that.

Like, but we talked about that. I think it's funnier, dude, like we talked about that with Courtney. She remember Courtney, she had been really victimized, right? Like she had a terrible upbringing, terrible story. I mean, about things that had happened to her, but how she had to move from that victimized mindset, right? And so we do have in culture, it's like—and I don't know that it's new to modern times where we're labeled by our issue rather than who we are in Jesus, right? And so woman with the issue of blood, right? You know what I'm saying? The paralytic, you know? And you hear all these identity shifts.

Understanding Addiction and Identity

And that's why I think the Bible, there's such a recurring theme of the Lord giving people new names, right? Because it's a reestablishing of identity. And so, I mean, we see stuff like this. And don't get me wrong. I love studies like this. I think they can be useful at some point because when I see them, I'm like, you know, maybe all of this is—maybe the first three are like, okay, well, whatever, right? Because there are four stages of addiction, just in general. We learned about that early on at Teen Challenge. There is the experimentation, social use, social interaction—using for social reasons. There is daily use or what they call preoccupation.

And then there is using just to feel normal. And I always thought that was helpful to kind of address where people were on the addiction spectrum. Right. But maybe it's just these two that become an issue—these bottom two, right? Right. I think to the, like, even to like piggyback on what you just mentioned, the reality is, as you mentioned, there's nothing wrong with these kind of studies. Because the way that I look at them, I look at them as billboards or warning signals, like, hey, look, you're stepping into the danger zone, right? And it's become a problem. And so, using your devices isn't necessarily wrong.

The Importance of Community and Support

But the manner in which you're using your device and the extent in which you're using your device, you're now allowing your device to become your source of life—your drive, your hunger, your thirst, whatever it may be. And I think that's what's really scary for a lot of these young individuals and even adults. Because they feel as if their sense of value and significance or meaning and purpose is wrapped up in technology. And I try to keep an eye on this. I understand where technology and looking at where society is heading with some of the stuff about the metaverse and augmented reality and virtual reality and all of this stuff that is on the horizon, right?

And the world that our kids are going to grow up in and the world our kids are going to be raising their children in. And how, like, how integrated technology is going to be. And I've never been one of those people that, like, I think every new thing is evil, right? Because I see that all the time, people talk about social media and it's just evil. It's like, no, it's just a microcosm of life. Like it doesn’t—social media doesn’t do anything but expose who we really are on a higher level, right? And it's the same thing with, you know, yeah, any of this other stuff. Like if we have proclivities toward addiction, that's going to show up, whether that's on our devices, whether that's with a substance, whether that's with food, you know?

And that's part of what we've been trying to change some of the conversation on maybe is helping, at least church folks to see that addiction is so much deeper than just, oh, there's that homeless drug addict that has bruises all up and down their arms, right? Like we all have these proclivities to find escapes and really try to figure out who we are outside of Jesus, right? Right, no, that's so good, dude. Wow, you know, even saying, you know, broadening the addiction definition for many people, right? As you mentioned, like people when they hear addiction, they just think of this homeless drug addict and we're all addicted to something.

Finding Wholeness and Identity

And so if we didn't want to do a study on coffee, dude, Justin, you would probably be an addict. You would, yeah, you know what I mean? You're addicted to glory. Never to say the least. I'm addicted to pizza. So like I cannot go to sleep unless I have a slice of pizza. Like I just love pizza, right? But no, the point that I'm here is, is the point that I'm working here, guys, is that we’re all trying to figure out who we are. And I think going back to the very beginning in the Bible, when God told us how he made us in his image and how, you know, he made us in his likeness, we've been given like the stamp of approval.

We've been given this identity. We've been given this like this blessing, this trademark, if you will. And it's the enemy’s job to remove that identity from us and to cause us to believe differently about ourselves and to make us think that there's something greater than God that's out there that can fill only what God can fill. And I think that's why a lot of people end up spiraling into this addictive mentality is because they're thinking to themselves that because others are doing this and they might not serve God or they might not do this, it's like, oh, well, then I can do it too. And therefore, I don’t need God to help me succeed in life.

And maybe you do succeed without God, but the thing is that I've noticed in the industry that I'm in, people that have made numerous amounts of money are still empty and void because they have no relationship with God. And so that doesn't mean that you have it all put together because you have this status quo. But the reality is that we're all searching for something. And that which we're searching for is the relationship with the father. But what happens is that we become robbed by technology, by social media, keeping up with the Joneses and seeing all these wonderful lifestyles that are being lived out from others and friends and family and so on and so forth.

The Consequences of Digital Dependency

And then we say to ourselves, why aren't we having that same experience? Why is that not our reality? The truth is that our freedom and our joy isn't in what we get to experience, but is in whom we are and who he is. And so having that solid foundation when things in life do stir up, when you don't get the likes on the post, when you don't get the feedback that you're looking for, when your phone's dead and you don't have a phone, look up in the sky, look at nature, right? Disengage from something for a moment and be present. But people don't know how to be present. And that's why we're so attached to our phone. The problem that I have with it is people don't even know how to have communication or converse in an active, mature conversation with another help.

That's interesting to think about too because I know several people that I will—I'll be at text up a storm with, you know, but then when I see them face to face, it's like awkward, it's uncomfortable, right? And that, I'm more, I'm personally working on that, right? I'm more of an introverted heart and I know that's crazy to sound because I speak publicly, I get on podcasts and I go live, you know, and all that. But realistically, interpersonal, one-on-one communication, I've been an introvert. Like now when I'm comfortably around you, all bets are off, right? You know, I'm out of the shell, but sometimes I do think that technology has kind of drawn that line of like a disrupting personal connection with people, you know, it's a substitute.

And I look, I do think that, again, I'm not a hater of tech. I think it can keep people connected, like I'm grateful because like, right, you and I have sustained a friendship for 10 years because of our devices, you know? And that’s something that wouldn't have happened 20 years ago, you know? And so I see the good in that. So let me ask a question, Rob. I know you and I both, even though we kind of joked at the article and mocked at it a little bit, like we both know that this is a thing, right? Internet addiction is just like any other addiction. So on, if you had to give somebody three or four steps, let's just call it three, three things that they could do, practically speaking to start to deal with this, what would your suggestions be for somebody that might be battling, you know, internet addiction?

Practical Steps to Address Internet Addiction

Yeah, those are some really good questions. So I can't remember the lady's name and I might even have her book up here. I might bet side, I don't have a few down there. That's under your phone. Yeah, but she came to our church and in her household, her teenage kids, even young adult kids, if you will, I guess teenage all the way up until like 18 high school, they don't have any technology in their home so that there's no cell phone use, there's no tablet use. The only time they can get on any of those things for school-related purposes, but what they've done in their home is created a culture where it's quality time spent with one another. So there are activities. It's like whether they're playing ping pong together, they're playing board games together, they're very interactive with one another.

And so what they've done is they’ve removed technology for the simple purposes because I've seen the damage that it does to the home over a long period of time. And I think where many of us fail is that we don't acknowledge that we have a problem. And so many of us will be listening to this right now and say, well, you know what? I look at those four, yeah, I kind of fit here. I kind of fit there, but I don't see it as a problem. I pay my bills on time. I clean my home and responsible, et cetera, et cetera. But let me ask you this question. First, I want to challenge you by removing your device from your nightstand at night. And charging it downstairs, put all your devices downstairs in a basket or in a basket if you don't have a two-story home.

The first thing that I want you to do when you wake up for an hour, if you can do this, don’t even look at your phone, right? Spend time with the Lord, okay? Or make breakfast, eat breakfast, maybe pray, spend some time in prayer, but don't look at your phone, okay? Another thing that I would do as a step or a process and kind of doing like this is having accountability, right? So you can't do these things on your own. You need accountability in anything in life, right? So you can tell yourself one thing, but it's another thing when you say, hey, look, I need you to hold me accountable in this area in your life. And so whether that's your spouse, significant other since they’re in the same home as you, that's somebody that I would do to reach out to that. But then also another step is to check your social media only in the morning and then in the evening kind of thing, right?

Encouragement to Engage Beyond Screens

So it's like, when you're at work, be present, be at work. And I think the thing is is that what we've missed out on in life, and I think something that my son’s kind of brought to my attention is like when he was in the car the other day and he saw these homeless people, his heart really broke. But he was just present looking outside and just looking at nature and he saw a need. And he's like, I can be a solution to that need. I want to help these people. I think when we engage with culture and society, we can be active in being the solution as God's hands and feet to bring about a better community and also just bring about his word and his ministry, right?

And so I think technology can be good as a resourceful thing, but it calls to be very damaging because it takes us away from doing the work of the ministry. Yeah, you mentioned the whole functioning, right, peace? And that's the term we hear a lot—the functioning addict. And tech is definitely one of those areas where it's easy to be a functioning addict. And like you said, if you minutes ago, well, I'm paying my bills, I mean, life is good, you know, everything's fine. But I think the theme that I heard you saying there is that I may be tolerating this or I may be functioning this, but these are all the things that it's potentially robbing me of. And we don't notice what we don’t notice, right?

The Deeper Issues Behind Digital Dependency

And so there's so much else that we could possibly—interactions, opportunities, things, just the beauty of nature and on. And I've even, it's interesting, I've even tried to like—there's been seasons of my social media posting, right? And I know this is going to sound counterintuitive because we're talking about internet addiction. Sometimes the post is like, well, what can I put up that's gonna get the most reactions? Rather than just simply saying, what type of beauty do I see in my life that I can share with the rest of the world for a moment? Right. Nobody likes it, nobody likes it. But what I'm forcing myself to do in those moments is train myself to see the beauty that's around me.

Right. And so you talked about self-awareness, right? And then just some practical steps to like putting your phone elsewhere, you know, doing some of that to kind of break that cycle. And that phone is that, like, right, we don't have to get in the car, we don't have to go down the street or get on a plane. We can escape right in our couch. Like, I'm completely gone from the world around me in just a moment. And I actually challenged me on this, we had a conversation about this because I am on my phone a lot. And I think about this internally and like, actually challenged me on the message that it's sending.

And so really the question was, well, you're working all the time. I'm like, when do I'm not? You know, I'm home. I work from home. My office is in my backyard. So setting those work-life balance boundaries. And I don't buy into the work-life balance that most people buy into. Like, I think there are going to be seasons of hustle and there are going to be seasons of rest versus I look at work-life balance in the macro, rather than the micro. You know what I'm saying? And so I don't expect like my every day is going to be perfect.

The Impact of Our Digital Presence

But what she said to me, she said, you're working all the time. And I said, I'm not. Like in the evenings, I'm pretty much done. I'm chilling. And she's like, well, during the day you're on your phone and you walk through the house to get a coffee. During the evening, you're on your phone and you walk through the house to get a coffee. And I don't know whether you're working or you're not working. And the kids don't know whether you're working or you're not working because you're on the device and you're looking at something. And we don't want to interrupt you or disrupt your work. And so we don't engage as much because we don’t really know because the message you're sending. And I'm working on that, man. I'm not going to say that I got it all dialed in.

Managing social media not just for the podcast, but also for my church page on there. I've got a couple of clients. And so constantly thinking about notifications, being able to engage and respond to comments for the sake of work and having to set those boundaries because I realize that having it in my hand is sending a message whether I think it is or not. We'll just say something to me, just stop me, you know? Well, we don't want to disrupt your work. So on one hand, I'm asking them to be respectful and respect my boundaries so that I can work when I'm on work. But on the other hand, I'm not respecting their boundaries and making it clear when I'm not working.

Reflection on Digital Addictions

And that's the challenge of digital addiction, right? And social media interaction. It's like, man, that was therapy right there. Oh my gosh. I think it's crazy, though, man, because it's like when you call somebody else out on it. Like, I remember there's been times where I've called my wife out on it. And she's like, her initial response will be like, well, I mean, you're on it, too. Like, yeah. And so that's when you know it's a problem, when you even expect correction, and she's done it to me and I've done the same, right? Like, I'll just immediately, like just like, well, you've done it.

And so it's like, we're so quick to blame the other person. And I think that's a telltale sign that you're addicted to something if you put blame on someone else rather than taking the responsibility yourself. No one else got you there. Like, I spent so many years of my addiction blaming the cards that I was dealt as to why I chose to pick up drugs. When the reality is the cards that I was dealt was an opportunity for me to catapult into my next opportunity, right? Like, it was never meant to restrict me or restrain me from unleashing who I really was, even though I didn't have a relationship with the Lord at the time.

Those were opportunities for me to be vulnerable and reach out and say, I want help. I don't know how to handle this. This is very foreign to me. But what I've chose to do is I said, man, the stinks—my dad was never there, my mom was never there, I lost my grandmother, I'm homeless, I got kicked out. Therefore, I'm going to do X, Y, and Z. And so we get beat down throughout our days from our everyday work, whether our boss tells us something, whether you dealt with the customer at the gas pump or whatever it may have been or wherever you're at, right? And then you utilize, oh, man, I've had such a long day. Therefore, you know what I need to do? I need to escape. I gotta check out. I need to decompress.

The Quest for Fulfillment

And so we make this the norm now as this place of—like as if this is our place of rest. And so we said, you know what, God, you're not that important for me to say I need to spend time with you in this moment when I'm on my phone. It's like, this actually helps me feel a lot better. Where’s our affirmation coming from? It’s not there because it’s a quick dopamine release that we get from a post or a like that we see. And then when that’s gone, we’re like refreshed, refreshed—and somebody liked it, I just posted it a minute ago—refreshed, and somebody liked it yet, five minutes later—refreshed, and somebody liked it yet. That was me. I’m sorry, like I’m going to be transparent. I’m probably speaking to a lot of people right now. Nobody would be willing to admit this, but it’s like, did I reach in? I'm not a bad guy.

Nothing, nothing. And so like, I’m just waiting for this release. And God’s like, no, dude, the only way you’re gonna find completeness is if you find completeness in me. This is what Paul said: godliness with contentment is great gain. That's right. He lost the value of who God is in our lives and who God is in general. He’s the creator of the universe. He’s the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end, the author and the finisher of our faith. He’s the one that put everything into existence. Why not be in awe of who he is?

Recognizing the Roots of Digital Addiction

That'd be the time when we want to escape from reality to look up at creation and say, thank you, Lord, for getting me through this day and letting your grace be the vehicle to get me through this or the struggle or whatever it may have been that you went through. But no, what we do, we turn to man. And man always lets us down. That’s right. Yeah. And man created the vice. But God gave man the—you know what I mean? It's like what in Hebrews, when the author of Hebrews says—you spend more time, I think it's in chapter three—you spend more time worshiping the creation than the creator.

Wow. Yeah, that's really good. Yeah. Now we've essentially become addicts to the idols in our lives. And so we're addicted to the idol. Yeah. And we're looking for this idol to basically cast away all the pain, the anxiety, the fear, the whatever it may be and say, do it. And God’s like, throw away those idols. Worship no other God but me. Yeah. That's for the comfort that you’re looking for. So now these people are putting these ranks and now they’re like, dang, what am I to do? How am I to overcome these things? And so I’m sorry, I just want to get there.

No, that was a really good rant. And I think you hit the nail on the head, like where are we getting our affirmation from, right? Like where is that coming from? And it should come from the Lord, but also from God’s people, right? And so having those people in our life that speak into us and are able to build us up and encourage us, but then also knowing how to get that from the Lord when we don't get it from people, right? David, I think it was said I’d encourage myself in the Lord, you know, like learning how to do that and not have to go to the internet or go to anything for affirmation, internet just happens to be the addiction that we're talking about today.

And it’s an easy one because like outside of our posts being pulled down and the Facebook algorithm punishing this not out of our addiction page, social media likes are easy to get. Like, you know, I know what to do to tweak the algorithm and that’s probably part of the reason why there are some struggles and engagement because it’s like, I don’t want to post this stupid antidotal crap that doesn’t help anybody but gets 375 likes. I don’t really care about that so much, you know? Like I want to give people something that if they get a hold of the information, it becomes revelation and it can change their life.

Concluding Thoughts on Digital Awareness

And so it's like am I speaking like in regards to marketing, am I speaking to the algorithm or am I trying to speak to people? And unfortunately, sometimes speaking to people doesn’t necessarily trigger the algorithm. And so we post for response, you know what I’m saying? And rather than just posting to really make a difference. And I know that kind of went on a tangent there, but that ties back to what we're talking about, right? Like where are we getting the affirmation from? You know, if only one person hears, right? Is it worth the investment of my time? If one life has changed, absolutely.

So that was—but there's that category list again for those that maybe came on late. Man, if you have a chance, if you can just smash the like button, maybe leave a comment, hit share to help encourage the algorithm.