Rediscovering Fellowship with God and Others

this is like an ongoing joke for Danielle and I we have a tendency to want to give out a level of friendship to others that is not often reciprocated in the same manner and it becomes very hard to love people when you're not loved in the same way it's like a double-edged sword right because I can't have an expectation of others to love me in the same way that I'm loving them because my love and my Assurance my stability of who I am often just held back because it's like I like to be dirty and like transparent about who I am and what I do and some people are just like yeah but some people are just like blessed and highly favored Hallelujah God is good and it's like I know God's good but bro are you struggling or is it just me that just on this journey in my faith where like I understand that God wants to deliver for me in this area but I also understand that there's a level of relationship and fellowship that when you come together and you confess as the Bible tells you not only is he faithful and just to forgive us of all of our sins but it says in that moment that the elders are to come and to pray right and so you can talk to somebody and be like hey bro I'm struggling and they'll just be like hey yep that sucks brother I'm sorry that you're going through that it's like wait whoa so like who is your fellowship with because in those moments and like we got called out on this the other day right was remember it's like oh yeah I'm praying for you it's like rather than saying I'm praying for you why don't you just pray right there in that moment I've seen a meme floating around the internet before it says everybody talks about Jesus's Miracles but never nobody talks about the miracle of Jesus having 12 close friends in his 30s and it's like whoa because you're here I am right in my mid-30s and I think about the close friendships that I have and I'm fortunate to have a lot of people in my life right so there is some of that fellowship and now there's that deeper level of intimacy that you start to grow with people right cuz I can fellowship with a lot of people but the intimate relationships man that's that's a little deeper right than just your average run-of-the-mill Christian Fellowship cool well welcome back to another podcast episode of rebuilding life after addiction guys it's been a long time coming Justin and I have been extremely busy as it's the beginning of a wonderful season as we await the return and the arrival of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ in Christmas right for those that love presents and stuff like that yeah and so we were just like man we got to get another call and we need to make these things happen and so here we are today with you joining in on a episode that is going to be exclusively brought to you by Energizer if we could get a sponsor like Energizer like it would be great to just get paid to just sit around and just do these interviews and conversations all the time I absolutely put it out there but in the meantime we'll keep doing them so how's how's things been for you man it's been good I was just telling you earlier before we started recording that I'm I'm at the church tonight I'm at Brookside and we've got one into the hallway the Teen Challenge program is here and they're on doing a community dinner we did it for the first time last week we had about 50 people come through for food but we serve hot meals and then the other end of the hallway we've got church join the food pantry and I love seeing it man because I think you and I talked a little bit about our topic tonight of like Fellowship and all the fellows hanging out on the ship together and on man just being in this season and seeing people get together and build relationship and build community and it's it's awesome to serve the community but the team right the people that come together to do that I think a lot of times we take for granted and don't realize how much on the serving is impacting us because we're getting closer to the people that we're serving alongside and man I just it's it's awesome dude and life family kids all of that it's just there's never a dull moment never a break with four girls in the house so or five included Ashley but yeah I have two and it's it's a whirlwind man it's it's a lot three including Danielle right but my son and I were outnumbered and that's okay we love our girls but yeah man it's I just to dive in a little bit about this Fellowship I really have been thinking about how Fellowship from a Biblical perspective which I'm going to butcher this word for those that are Scholars out there that are listening the Greek word for Fellowship coinonia yeah I know I might have said that wrong but I gave it a shot you did all right yeah okay cool it worked so yeah lo and behold the reason why I wanted to really dive into that is because it's amazing to me how the enemy comes to steal our fellowship or our relationship and how addiction in whatever form of facet it is right whether it's drug and alcohol addiction whether it's phone addiction whether it's television addiction whatever it may be there's there's something that's always trying to rob you from fellowship with Christ I think the thing is that the point that I'm getting at here is that what areas of Our Lives do we have so that occupy our time so much that we don't have enough time to spend with the Lord yeah it's interesting because I Googled with that fancy Greek word and I always butcher them too man I've been preaching for 17 years and I still mess up old testament names like I when it's when I'm reading from the Old Testament on Sunday it's a comedy show right because I'm gonna mess up the names and I always draw attention to the fact I'm about to mess up the names before I mess them up and so it's but that word coinonia man it means to hold something in common and you think about that and like that is the essence of Fellowship right is we hold something in common now from a biblical perspective that common thing that we hold is our relationship and our Pursuit Of God it's Jesus right that is the common thing it always blew me away in the recovery programs how you could get 15 20 people together that outside of the program would never have anything to do with each other but the relationships that were being built in the middle of the program because there's something they're all holding in common but you talk about the negative of that right and how our relationship end up end relationships end up getting driven by something that we hold in common right you and I have both disclosed our struggles with identity in the course of our life and searching for that identity and a lot of times it's easy to find friends when we're pursuing drugs because we're holding something in common now the thing that we're holding in common is ultimately destroying both of us but it makes it easy to connect because there's a common Bond right and that really is what fellow ship is all about it's people that man from different walks of life different sides of the Earth different everything outside of the church could be different but we come together in pursuit of a holy God and those relationships man they end up being drawn and then we start to see a Biblical picture of unity and it really is it's beautiful when it's operating as the spirit intended no man I totally agree with you on that and I think the thing is that what I find troubling I want to share this quick story but I was at the gas station just the other day and there was a chick that came up to me and was like hey look I love can you give me some gas and I was just straight up with her I was like hey look I know where you're at but I'm I'm not going to give you money to put gas in your car right like I'll fill up your tank for you and her eyes like lit up she's like you'll fill up my tank like what's going on here like people don't do that and I said yeah I don't mind helping you out with some gas money so that you can get to whatever destination that you're going to now looking at her from the state that she was in I know I knew at that moment that she was on some type of drugs right because I've once been in that similar Place Plus looking at her pupils things of that nature right just the way that she carried herself just very sloppy if you will and so I began to speak truth to her circumstance that was a truth that was quite honestly very offensive she was actually taken back because I called her out on her addiction because I knew that she was addicted to something but it was in me calling her out and the addiction problem that she had that she opened up and began to like say wow like I didn't even realize how bad it was because sometimes when you're in your addiction man you don't even think that you look bad to others you actually think you look good you ever like had those moments where you looked at yourself in the mirror and like you're like looking at the bags you're looking how but you think you look really good like I thought I look good in my addiction and I could fool everybody but I didn't realize how bad my condition was until somebody else brought it to my attention and I say all that to say this that the girl broke and I was able to share some gospel truth and who could be able to set her free and lead her to the right path and victory that she's so Desperately Seeking in life that she cannot find fulfilled within the drugs she just began to weep she took her glasses off and began to weep and in that moment I believe that we had fellowship and what is I took the time to disconnect from the world that I would once that I was living in to step into her world and to connect and share a bond of compassion but also to share a bond of Brokenness because if you don't understand where you once come from came from and where God has brought you can't really connect with people and I think this is what we have an issue with people in the church is that we look at these people that are in these type of situations and we're like ah man look at them and we look at ourselves as if our stuff doesn't stink and it's like look homeboy home girl you were once a sinner what like you're your righteousness is as dirty as filthy rags right but think about that though man you talked about the whole like false perception right that we have when we're living this lifestyle and man thinking that we're we're squared away and a lot of times avoiding the people right we share the things in common that our addiction because those people aren't going to call us out on our nature that is a mess right and so oftentimes we do we avoid those people that will speak the direct truth like you did right and then when we finally hear that truth it's jolting and so I think that's part of maybe the symptom of why we avoid good Godly relationships because it's like I used to say this all the time in CC find you an accountability part partner but not a codefendant right there's a huge difference in the two of those and it is the same thing with our coin Anda our fellowship right if we spend time we engage in relationships and we hold the gospel in common and that's the goal we're pursuing that versus the alternative those people are also looking into the face of God as well and they have some discernment to be able to call our stuff out right and I think that's part of why you broke through because I doubt there was anybody else in her Circle speaking that truth to her and it took a stranger to come along and speak the truth and say hey something's off here right and she wept and who knows what the Lord's going to do in her life from that simple seed that you planted but man what have been your struggles with Fellowship like right we know how valuable it is and you can go into acts and first John and there's all kinds of scriptures that speak to the value of Fellowship but man I'd be curious Rob what have been some of your struggles in engaging and I'll share some of mine too in Fellowship no man I'm actually glad that you brought that up because I was actually this is like an ongoing joke for Den yell and I we have a tendency to want to give out a level of friendship to others that is not often reciprocated in the same manner and it becomes very hard to love people when you're not loved in the same way and it's it's it's like a double-edged sword right because I can't have an expectation of others to love me in the same way that I'm loving them because my love and my Assurance my stability of who I am has to come from the father and the father alone right so I know that there's some weakness in my often just held back because it's like I like to be dirty and like transparent about who I am and what I do and some people are just like yeah but some people are just like blessed and highly favored Hallelujah God is good and it's like I know God's good but bro are you struggling or is it just me that's just on this journey in my faith where like I understand that God wants to deliver me in this area but I also understand that there's a level of relationship in Fellowship that when you come together and you confess as the Bible tells you not only is he faithful and just to forgive us of all of our sins but it says in that moment that the elders are to come and to pray right and so you can talk to somebody and be like hey bro I'm struggling and they'll just be like hey yep that sucks brother I'm I'm sorry that you're going through that it's like wait whoa so like who is your fellowship with because in those moments and like we got called out on this the other day right was remember it's like oh yeah I'm praying for you it's like rather than saying I'm praying for you why don't you just pray right there in that moment what because the reality is that we're not praying for everybody the way that we I'm praying for you I'm pray brother look you find me Miss Mary Sue that has everybody's name on a list that she's come in contact with that she says she's going to be praying for and that she's doing that on a daily basis if she's doing that must be God but hey that's just me I know you can't pray for all those people at once every single day now there are some people that pray for people diligently on a daily basis and I will not discredit that but at the same time it's just like that piece man I heard I've seen a meme floating around the internet before it says everybody talks about Jesus's Miracles but never nobody talks about the miracle of Jesus having 12 close friends in his 30s and it's like whoa because you're here I am right in my mid-30s and I think about the close friendships that I have and I'm fortunate to have a lot of people in my life right and yet so there is some of that fellowship and now there's that deeper level of intimacy that you start to grow with people right because I can fellowship with a lot of people but the intimate relationships man that's that's a little deeper right than just your average run-of-the-mill Christian fellowship and but you think about that man you were just talking about I and I've had a hard time with that let me elaborate Ashley and I did TC right the 12 13 year the first 12 years of our marriage and we weren't committed to a local we had a home church but we were gone pretty much every Sunday the three times a month choir services and all of that and so we didn't build the Deep Connections in our church family like a lot of people do early on in church and we live an hour from the church I Pastor now so I could less than a hand and name off the people that come over to our house and hang out on a regular basis that's not family it's non-existent and so I do think about that as a weakness now I've got some one-on-one friendships got some really good one-on-one friendships like you and I and my buddy Jason and a couple others that we just get on the phone and we're just both raw vulnerable like and like if we're going to go to an intimate level in our friendship like I'm I'm not going to be the only one sharing my Stu in these conversations right it's got to be reciprocal it's like I don't I'm good with you helping be my strength when I'm weak but let's also that's going to be back and forth right I don't I have a pastor I have a mentor right but in my friendships like we're guiding each other and I'm not looking for another person in that level and so I think there are some layers to this that well the thing is man is this is the way I think of it when Paul said that when the Lord spoke to Paul in 2 Corinthians chapter 12 and he told him his grace is sufficient for his strength is made perfect in his weakness prior to him asking him to remove a thorn three times Paul then replies and says I shall boast in my infirmities right he's like I'm going to boast in my weaknesses I'm going to boast in the things that I'm I'm I'm incapable of doing on my own and this is it's like if we are to desire to have fellowship with one another but yet lack fellowship with God then the fellowship is not genuine and so there are people out there that have an identity and relationship with God from afar and know who God is but have yet to knock on his door for him to let them in and so this is what happens with a lot of people in the church is that they play Christ they play Christianity and what it's okay but this is where a lot of people become so discouraged or so distant from wanting to even press into a relationship because it's like hold up y'all are speaking a different truth than what I'm reading y'all are living a life that's contrary now m you yes there are a whole bunch of Hypocrites in the church there's not going to be one person that's perfect and I understand that wholeheartedly but I do also believe that we need to be a people that is very we need to learn to be very sensitive to how we engage and conduct Our Lives man you brought up a strong point the instructions of boasting are in our infirmities and in the Lord right and so when we boast on ourselves in our relationships it perverts the relationships right out the gate right like the instructions in the scripture dude it's I'm to boast in my weakness and I'm gon to boast in the Lord and so what happens and man we've just spent the last several weeks in church talking about the structure of the church a little bit and how in those areas where Paul's talking about how the church is structured he talks about humility and he talks about love especially around the gifts because when pride comes to the table it perverts everything and that's what happens when these relationships are LED in Pride right when pride comes to the relationship and it's not about humility and loving each other genuinely right then we do get the perversion of the relationship now what I talked about earlier and I want to clarify this I'm not saying our drug addict relationships or coin Ania that's not that's the counterfeit of what God desires for us to have with people we're out there pursuing something that God already gave us a pattern for and that's the issue of Life all together is when we start to pursue things outside of God that can only be found in God then our lives end up bankrupt and falling apart because we were not designed to do life apart from him just like you said and so that man if all of this doesn't start in him then what are we doing right we're just like the rest of the world and I don't have my Bible right in front of me but if you go to First John and you look at the first two verses or first three verses when he talks about how we have seen and we have heard right this is why we have fellowship and we want you to have the same Fellowship I'm paraphrasing so that you would make up my joy complete do you have it pulled up C can you read it I do first John 1-3 that which was from the beginning which we have heard which we have seen with our eyes which we have looked at with our hand and our hands have touched this we Proclaim concerning the word of life the life appeared we have seen it and testified to it and we Proclaim to you the eternal life which was with the father and has appeared to us we Proclaim to you what we have seen and heard so that you may also have fellowship with us and our fellowship is with the father and with his son Jesus Christ we write this to make our joy complete now if you read it carefully you realize that Fellowship is birthed through one that knows fellowship with God and it gets brought to the person that's broken and alienated from God and so they saw they seen they heard they touched we are the living vessels we are the instruments we are the foundations of fellowship and so when I met the girl at the gas station she's been alienated from God and didn't know Fellowship so when I came on the scene and spoke truth it reconnected her to what her original design was intended to be so that she can know what Fellowship is and so if we don't have the eyes to see we'll never know the heart of the father to demonstrate these things to the Brokenness of the world and that's what Fellowship is so now I can offer something not by my works but by how I conduct myself in an everyday manner that people can now partake in the very that I'm partaking in so that my joy can be complete because the reward of the father is like the prodal son he wants them to return home he doesn't care the condition he's going to give them the robe he's going to give them the ring he's gonna give them the sandals they've always been they always will be a son yeah that's so good man now you and I talked about that several times like why is it so hard right when people leave programs and the misconception is well now I'm out of the program I'm out of the safe place and it has nothing to do with the program especially in Christian discipleship programs it has everything to do with the pursuit of the father falling off it's easy to do it in an environment like that our minds are set on Jesus it's easy to stay on the path and to stay in relationship with folks and it's not because the people are delivered to us and they're beside us it's because we're pursuing God in the middle of it all right and so man that and that is a wow because that is a whole mouthful to think about that if my relationships are struggling then it speaks to my lack of pursuit of the Lord my goodness and that's one of those things man where it's like I got to look in the mirror now and say like if I'm struggling to connect with people and I'm not able to connect to people on a spiritual level and I don't have people close to me then the onus isn't on anybody else it's on me not pursuing God as I should and let me be transparent guys I'm the Lord spoke and gave me this Revelation because he wanted me to recognize an area of my life yeah it's great that you admitted your weakness but I've got it all together I'm good thank you close the curtain here this be confession time I'm going to shout out a good friend of mine back home he drives for UPS his name is j Jamal McCrae if he listens to this I'll tell him just quick shout out to him but one thing I admire about our relationship we cannot talk to each other for a week two weeks but then pick up the phone and pick off where we left off but that brother it's always hard for me to call him but it's always good for me to call him because he's always going to tell me everything I don't or that I need to hear not what I want to hear he speaks truth and he convicts and he cuts very deep and I admire him for that and and it's I say all that to say what people do you have in your life that are speaking truth to your issues and your problems and not affirming your issues and the problems to keep you in that condition in that state of the being because we often have people that we surround ourselves with that are likeminded to the dark side but not likeminded to the side of light and so what we do is we find friends and we're like oh well it's like you have an issue that only a wisdom from the Lord can handle but then you going on asking your mom and your uncle and your aunt that don't even know the Lord how to handle a situation that they can't speak to right and so it's like that's not proper fellowship and I'm just giving you'all an example of what by all of that but yeah no I was looking I flipped over to First John chapter 2 where he goes on to talk about the whole issue of forgiveness and hanging around with other believers and talking about that it's like you when you go to pursue advice and pursue direction from people who are still in the darkness you've got a blind person leading you right you've got somebody that's been dark into the world and they can't lead us to a home that they're not living in right like they don't know the address they don't know how to get there and you think about that part of it man and I just yeah it's easier to look outwards and say man why won't nobody accept me why won't anybody engage in relationship and there are some real struggles with rejection I put a podcast up an interview I did solo last week and that most of the conversation was with a guy Brian if y'all are watching you can scroll down the Facebook page and check that out but a lot of it was on the issue of rejection and struggling with that and then trying to solve that Spirit of Rejection and deal with that in unhealthy manners and a lot of times it comes through people pleasing and other things but really man yeah having that authentic connection with the Lord which leads to authentic connection with other people I'm GNA go home and repent tonight thank you for no man I think this is like a really good starting Foundation just for our viewers and just for those that don't don't even know the Lord or are struggling and that are on the fence like don't discredit the church because you've encountered somebody that doesn't represent Christ well I did that I looked at the church and I was like there's nothing but a whole bunch of Hypocrites and I had to realize I was a hypoc for saying what I was saying what and like I'm not perfect nobody's perfect and so the thing is that until you come to the source stop going to the middleman right come to the source man get that raw uncut like red letter yeah I'm I'm speaking in drug terms for all y'all that need that type of analogy but the thing is that's what it is go to the father he has torn the veil for you to come he has given you access into his throne room all you have to do is believe confess that he is Lord that he is Savior and he has delivered you from all of your sins and has cast them as far as the East is from the West the gospel is a good news to your Brokenness so I'm inviting you guys to have fellowship with the father because he desires to have fellowship with you and this makes Justin and I our Joy complete it really does that's a heart that we have behind and all that we do we just want to see people back in fellowship with the father because we've been given that opportunity and how could we not offer it to someone else yeah that's so good man I I am not gonna add anything I'm gonna let that just linger we're just GNA let that one sit there to end this interview this call man because that is just that's the heartbeat and man well I know we wanted to keep it short tonight dude so thanks for jumping on and getting together and thank you all for watching again this is going to go up the full thing if you're watching it on Facebook hit like share it comment do all the stuff if you're on YouTube like And subscribe if you're listening on audio enjoy the listen I don't really know what to tell you to do like come over to Facebook and leave us a comment so we know who you are right and so right oh man it's been it's good man so excited to get this one up and yeah man I think that's it cool awesome bro