Why I Replaced My Addiction Friends With People Who Actually Care

Do you not realize what you have access to? what ? And like I had to address my son this morning about this. Like we got him a hoverboard. He loves his hoverboard. He wanted to play with it. And we live in an apartment and we have neighbors down below. And so my kids are waking up at 3:00 in the morning wanting to like ride on a hoverboard while people are actually sleeping, right? So he's "I have no toys to play with." Now mind you, this kid has a room full of toys. And so I had to bring him into the room and I wanted to like discipline him because he started wailing and crying. But God like made me like slow down in that moment. And I said, Josiah, let me explain something to you. I said, you don't realize what it is that you have access to because your vision is so blurred by something that I corrected you on. And I want you to see the bigger picture. You don't understand this because you're young now, but there are people that don't even have toys to play with that are in third world countries that will take trash and formulate it into a ball and kick it as if it was a soccer ball and be so happy and content. Would love to be in your position to play with all the toys that you have. And so we write on our window every morning our I am affirmations and then we also do a list of gratitude. And so he said this morning as my wife asked him, "What are you grateful for?" And he said, "I'm grateful for my toys." And I said, "Joseiah, why are you grateful for your toys?" And he began to explain the conversation that him and I had. And he said, "Daddy brought something into my perspective, and allowed me to see something that I didn't see before. I have a lot. And I'm thankful for my toys and the things that I get to play with." And so I say all that to say we don't realize that we have the living word of God in front of us. Justin, I'm I'm guilty of this. I'll turn to man or I'll turn to social media or I'll turn to this and I'll turn to that. And it's like God wants us to turn to him, . And we have children. Imagine if our children turned to the neighbor's dad or their friend's dad for assurance and hope or comfort and didn't turn to How would that make you feel? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And so what we've lacked in the church is relationship, man. It's we don't have that anymore really. That's why we're not unified. It's interesting because I'm a big fan of social media and I'll chop up some of my sermons sometimes and put clips out there on the internet and all that, but like a lot of times I think we're there scrolling more for the dopamine hit, and we get this little boost of encouragement or just little thing that resonates with it for a second, but like we're really not digging deep into it. And these clips I've even noticed. it's it I do editing work and they're so chopped up and all the pauses and stuff are pulled out of them. So, it seems very direct and very to the point and I get that, but like we're almost you're trying to manipulate the social media algorithms more just to get people's attention and I love I love the fact that there is probably more Christian content available than any other time in history right now on social media. But I think it's it's it's been to our detriment as well because it's taugh it's pulled us away from actually sitting in the word, and digging into his word and getting the revelation for oursel and yeah, and with all the confirmation, but we're going to find what we're looking for, ? on social media, the algorithms are made for that. And so it's oh man, this video post I came across, it was such a direct word from God. And I'm the algorithms are built for that. like they're they're showing you what you want to see in the moment, know, know, instead of just examining the word deeply and letting it pierce our heart and change us from the inside out. And I think a lot of times we don't realize that, . Well, I like we said in the beginning. and this has been my heart lately, man. It's I really as the temple of God, my body being the temple and I'm I house the Holy Spirit. It's my heart's desire to create a place and a space for people to come to. I really want to be the light on the hill. I really want to be and I don't want to profess that I'm a believer. I want God to do a work in me so much that people are attracted to me and they just begin to open up. And so people have found social media or other avenues of escape to be their source of comfort where in a time as today we need one another to draw to come to and work alongside one another to lift each other up and be that comfort. Right? Because that's the body. The church is not a building. It's the body and we have so much division amongst one another and we're we're tearing one limb off and another limb off and we're like I can do this without the foot. I can do this without the hand. Name one person that has an amputated arm or a leg or a foot or whatever that is like what my life has been so much better without my arms and my feet like no it just it doesn't work that way. Like we need to be connected. And see, this is the problem with the church. And it's been my issue for so many years, man. Because when I first got saved and I open up the word and I would read it, I would I'd ask myself, why are there so many denominations? Why are there so much division? All these different things. And I get the theological aspect of things. I'm not ignorant to any of those things. I understand why those things happen, but at the end of the day, man, like it's not the father's heart. heart. heart. It's not, and so and I think the reason why these things have come about is because we've stopped seeking God, right? right? right? And we started seeking man. So, you said something a few seconds ago about you didn't even want to profess like you wanted people to see the light in you. And I think when we originally started text messaging about this conversation, you shared Roman Revelation 12:11, they overcome by the blood of the lamb and by the word of their testimony, right? And so can you explain maybe what that looks like a little bit, right? So in your perspective and your your thought process, what does it look like to overcome by the blood of the lamb and by the word of the testimony and to really be that light for people for the church folks who may be confused, . Yeah. Yeah. So information I learned this one time in Teen Challenge, information plus application equals transformation. And so when we learn to listen, God will in his sovereignty divinely place people in our path that he's equipped us for to be able to shed light to their dark situation. situation. situation. And so you and I have had conversations before where you've shared things with me and I've shared things with you. And like you said before, you were able to listen and I would just be a sounding board or vice versa, but you had a moment where you were able to shed light to something because you've been through a similar situation. And so I think sometimes people are going through things that they need hope in. And my testimony is the opportunity that I'm able to share about the goodness of God. I was actually able to do this last night. this one woman, we went to a potluck dinner. Great. Got to share with her and she just began to weep and cry. And she's "I'm so grateful that you shared your story because it gave me hope that marriage and a spouse is still out there." Because she was abused, right? She's trying to get custody of her three children. She has one little boy, single mother, trying to do all these things on her own. But the opportunity presented itself through a casual conversation that we had over some dinner, right, with others. And it brought about an opport naturally, right? It wasn't hey, look at me. Look what God's done in my life, but it was just such an authentic and organic conversation that brought about the opportunity for me to share my story and brought hope to her dark world. And so that was in that moment a seed that was planted. Now, what God does with that seed isn't up to me, but I've done my part by being the instrument and the vessel that he desires to use to bring about glory unto his name. And so, we have to understand that as believers, sometimes people puts us in our people are placed in our lives for a time in a season, right? Like everything has its purpose, everything has its role. And so as we are saved by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony, dude, it's really just about being able to listen and to hear what it is that God is speaking through the broken because he's speaking through them. But we as his children like it's it's almost like when in the Old Testament when Abel was killed his brother, right? I Cain and Abel when Cain killed his brother and he was in the dirt and he says, "Your brother cries out to me." Right? The cry of his people in a dark place. Just think about this. When people are in darkness, they're crying out, but we as believers aren't listening. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're so quick to judge what they're going through that we're not listening to the real heartbeat of their problem. it's like Go ahead. Even when you look at Paul sharing there's so many examples in scripture where even he as he's sharing his story he's like among gener sinners I was the chief and I was the worst Pharisee and like I think a lot of times especially in this in this social mediadriven culture we're so quick to share our wins and share the highlight reels of our lives where Paul oftent times if he had any reason to boast he had plenty of reason it always in the mess and it was like this is like it was this is not me trying to get my glory but this is me showing you that look if God can do it for me he can do it for you as well and yeah I think many times we try to lean back on our accomplishments and our righteousness where it's like man it's not my righteousness it's God's righteousness let me it's funny because I've at times been asked 16 17 years later why do I still talk about being delivered from crystal mass And it's like I don't want to forget about it, like 20 30 years from now I'll probably still be talking about it because it's like and that weakness was something I couldn't fix on my own, right? right? right? And it show shows the power of God, even still working in my life all these years later, right? Because think about it like you were touching in on Romans or Corinthians chapter 12, but the beginning part of that verse was he says, "My his grace is sufficient for his strength is made perfect in his weakness." Now, now I quoted Galatians 2:20. We know earlier, but it's Christ that lives in us. 2 Corinthians 5 tells us that he's given us the spirit of reconciliation, right? right? right? We are saved by grace through faith. Faith that no man can boast. So the point that I'm making in all of this is that God is ushering grace in your weakness. And so when we see people in darkness, we need to usher grace because grace, he says to his disciples, as it has been freely given, so freely give. give. give. And so we don't even understand the grace that has been given unto us. And so we're like the Pharisee that judges the woman with the alabaster jar of oil that wasted. And he's you don't even know who wiping your feet. That's a prostitute. And Jesus is "For whoever has been forgiven much loves much." much." much." People don't understand the measure of love that go or grace or mercy that God has had upon their lives. And so therefore, they have this mentality that they're better than others because now they've crossed the other side. But we have to be humble and be reminded as the Bible tells us, "If a man thinks he stands, take heed lest he fall." Pride cometh before the fall. Humility is the key in bringing forth redemption to God's people. Christ came down humble. humble. humble. He was on his throne. He came down through a virgin humble to save his people. He didn't come on a high horse. So if Christ had to come humbly to redeem his people, what makes us think that we must not do the same? Yeah. Yeah. Amen. Yeah. So, we talk about you overcoming and walking in that grace and I want to touch on something else real quick cuz we began the conversation talking about, our friendship and our ability to have these conversations with one another. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And so, so moving maybe away from, you showing grace to the unbeliever and trying to, win them through our testimony. What do you think keeps church folks so Christians, not just church folks, but Christians so bottled up and in unable to talk about their shortcomings and their weaknesses, openly, if we understand that even from a spiritual perspective like Paul, spoke boasted on his weaknesses and shared them and I've got this thorn in the flesh that I can't get rid of and he I'm the worst. I'm the chief of all the Pharisees, etc., etc. But like what do you think keeps Christians in that place of is it pride? Is it insecurity? what is it that keeps them from being willing to be open and share those things? Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, that's good, man. That's actually a really good question. I'm glad you brought that up. I think it's a little bit of everything. pride's in there. but I'm going to speak from personal experience. I don't want and this is just a struggle that I've had my whole entire life is the acceptance of others people pleasing. And so I know not even being a believer but being an unbeliever that when someone finds out information about you it's gossiped. And so if I share something with somebody, somebody, somebody, I don't even know if I can trust you in that matter because I'm so afraid that if it gets leaked out now, people are going to perceive me differently than I already am. And so I think identity has a huge role to play in this conversation because I think too now I'm more open to sharing because I know who I am and I know where I'm going. But if you don't understand your identity, you'll get encapsulated in thinking or caught up in thinking that your works is a representation of your identity. Like if I do X, Y, and Z good, then I'm I want everybody to see the good in me because if they see the bad in me, then all the others see is the bad. Right? It's we're married, right? But my wife, it's it's funny, five years will pass. I'll do everything good, but she'll bring up that one moment that I did something bad and tear me up about. I'm how did you remember? She knows the date. She knows the time. she knows where we were at, what color shoes I was wearing, what, all if I drooled that day, like all these, insignificant det or, details to the matter. And so I think the thing is that what the enemy does and has against us is our past. And so he doesn't have our future. But if you understood that God died not only for your past and present and future sins. then you'll always live in your past. Isn't it interesting though? Like cuz like there's no ability to gossip about me being a former crystal meth addetic, right? Cuz I've been fully transparent about that. And you can tell everybody in the world that I used to shoot math in my arms and it's like shocker. everybody knows, but it, it's that whole idea, I think the it was it the 12stepers that used to say it all the time, we're only as sick as our secrets. And so when we have this fear of being exposed, what I'm saying? Like it that keeps us in that place. It keeps us locked. But we're if we're willing to reach out to people and engage and be transparent about the struggles, it really helps that thing lose all of its power over our lives because there's no room to be exposed anymore cuz it's all out in the open anyways. And I, I don't want to say that I'm suggesting that, we post all of our darkest, deepest secrets on social media. I think there's wisdom and choosing who to talk to, of course, but like the more transparent and the more able the more we're willing to be able to speak these things out and be transparent with, maybe a trusted group of friends or, having those conversations, it sheds light on things and can help us move forward in our lives, . Well, I recently just had an experience with you, man, where I had to share something that I was struggling with, right? a thought came up and I knew that through our relationship I felt comfortable coming to you. And it wasn't just you, right? It was Christ in you. I knew I could come to you not only as a brother in Christ, but I knew that God would utilize you as a vessel that I needed in that moment to share something that I was bottling. And I think the more that we, as you say, stuff things and keep things hidden, the more the enemy is able to utilize those things against us. But when we release things, it's like that pimple on your face. Like it will get big, bro. You bust that thing. It's what ? Like Hey, what's up? Checking in the camera to see if I had one. one. one. And it's just Yeah, man. Like it's one of those things, dude, where once it's released, it can't enter back in. unless you give it room to, right? I think that's why the scripture talks against gossip and slandering people. we have a tendency to do that in the church at times. I think we maybe won't openly gossip, but somebody will say something to us in confidence and then we'll get in a prayer circle and we'll pray for that person very openly and out loud. And it's man, the church should be the safest place in the world to struggle. M like it should be the best spot to be able to come with all your insecurities, all your weaknesses, all your failures and be able to know that I can walk in a room of people, that are all Christ followers that all have that light in them and be able to openly say what I'm going through and it people don't gasp, like people aren't going to run and tell people about me. And I think that's one of the I was listening to a guy talk on it was an Instagram reel and I think that's one of the dichotoies that I think we struggle with in leadership because often times when you step into a role of leadership you struggle being open with people because you don't know who's going to use it against you and twist the words, and it's just like man like I wish like we could get to a place in modern church where it's just safe to be comfortable and It's it's not safe to be open and safe to confess and deal with our sins, in a way that we're going to find grace. Galatians talks about restoring each other gently, and I think a lot of times, at least in my history growing up, I saw so much in the church as a teenager where like Christians were quick to like shoot their wounded, like and we even see it and I'm not saying that some of these larger megaurch scandals where there's sexual all that stuff should be exposed, sexual abuse and all that from a, from a major, big standpoint. point, but like even hearing about people struggling and then like people that they were their biggest fans right prior to their sin being exposed and then the moment their sins being exposed like I see people just dragging them, through the mud. Now you cross a barrier when there's criminal activity, right? when somebody's breaking the law, like obviously that stuff has no place. But I'm I'm digressing back to just, sin that people are just going to struggle with, that there's no ability to be transparent and expose those things without worrying about being gossip about. about. about. It all starts with us, dude. what did God call you to do, Justin? What did he call me to do? I think when we stop focusing on what's not being done and focus on what's being done think that's when change begins to happen, right? Because there's so many distractions out there, dude. like at the end of the day, everybody's trying to find out is this person okay to listen to? Is that person okay to listen to? And then what we now are doing in this culture in Christian like we're trying to dig to find out what error this person has. We no longer like seek truth now. We're like what error does this person have? Like did ? And so we're trying to uncover God's creation and God's like look don't worry about all that. I got my daughter out here now. She wants to say hello. but yeah, so it's it's very interesting, man. But I think at the end of the day, what I've been learning myself personally is really to create that environment or that place of comfort and assurance within myself and be the best that I can be that God has called me to be. and so that's all I can do, . So, so what would you say to the believer in Christ that maybe is listening to this and says, "I hear everything you're saying about being transparent and I see the value in it, but I don't know who to talk to." to." to." Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like I feel like I have nobody in my life that I can trust. What would your encouragement be to somebody that might feel like they're in that position? position? position? Yeah, absolutely. first and foremost, the first person you always talk to is the father. I would say first and foremost, man, talk to the father, right? My children, I want my children to come to me first before they go to anybody else. And I think in addressing it with the father, God will lead you to address it with man or a female, who whoever it may be. But you have to be really like mindful that not everybody's your friend. Like if you have like thousands and thousands of friends, not all of those people are your friends. Like I only talk to maybe two or three people about my serious, deepest, darkest secrets if I have them. I'm not sharing that with Susan, Becky, Jim. Stop posting your stuff on social media. Like that's number one. But have two or three people that are in your inner circle. like how Jesus did. Jesus modeled that for us. right? He didn't take everybody everywhere. And so I think if we, replicate that in our own lives and make sure that we have, because in Teen Challenge, it taught us to have your inner circle, you have your outer circle, and you have your acquaintances. And so I have an inner circle of people that I speak with. with. with. Yeah. I think that's the interesting part about being in Teen Challenge was there was so much encouragement to be transparent and be open that experience for folks like you and me really helped impact my at least impacted my life to be able to be open and share things with people on a consistent basis. Yeah. So yeah, that's good, man. Dude, I love these. I'm so excited to be able to continue hopping on some of these calls with you, man, and just diving deep, man, and having conversations. I think people that are within the church or not even in the church, they need to hear this. and especially for the unbeliever, I want to disclose that we're imperfect people and we don't get it right, but we serve a perfect God. that helps us. And so we just want you to come fellowship with us. That's at the end of the day. We want you to know that there are people there are Christians out there that that aren't aren't aren't mainstream so much but underground like it's like hip-hop you have your mainstream artists and then you have your underground artists people that are unheard of and so there are those people that are out there that are unheard of or aren't spoken about that are authentic and keep true to their word and really do love you and so just be reminded that you're loved and if you took anything from this there is a safe place for you to come to and that place that you can come to is Christ to give you the healing that you need. need. need. Yeah, I think that was the mindset in starting to do some of these conversations was you really to just get together with people and just have authentic conversations just this is just how people do life. For me, a lot of the content online is so polished. It's so directed and I get there's a place for that, don't get me wrong. It's funny because I haven't even given these shows a name yet. Like I conversations over coffee, maybe. I don't know. But I think it's just doing it and getting these conversations out there for people to hear. Amen. Amen. My name is Robert Grant. married for over seven years. Currently reside in California. father of three, one boy and two girls. been serving the Lord for over 10 years, about to celebrate 10 years of sobriety. and I love Jesus. so thank you for having me on, Justin. Yeah. What do you do for a living? Yeah. so I am like I am a door knocker. okay. I do doortodoor sales. So, I knock on your door and hopefully you allow me to come into your home and get you to buy solar. So, if any of you out there need solar, who to contact. contact. contact. Hey, thanks so much for watching this conversation. I hope you found value out of it. If you did, please share it or like it or subscribe to the channel. Hey, God bless you. Appreciate you watching. Have a wonderful day.