God Rebuilt His Life Now Tyler Leads Others to Freedom

Falling on My Face getting arrested going and having to be on prescribed all kinds of like different medicines doctors told me I'd have to take medication the rest of my life just to be normal because of childhood trauma and that's like a whole nother part of my story it's just like what led me to start using drugs and alcohol and that was based upon a lot of hurt and Trauma from the past and a lot of wounds that took place at an early age and growing up in a dysfunctional home and family being that my dad was an alcoholic uncles were alcoholics my Mom was adopted and both of her birth parents were drug addicts and alcoholics like I had this notion as a little kid like I can't drink or I can't do drugs because more than likely I'm going to become my dad or I'm going to become somebody who struggles even when we attempt to reconcile and maybe it doesn't work out like we anticipated or they don't respond to our letters or us reaching out and apologizing this that can take us back into that dark place and so I'll just be curious to see how you dealt with that what I'm saying how you dealt with some of those moments maybe when the reconciliation didn't work out as you anticipated or as you hoped and prevented yourself from going back into that dark hole or coping with it maybe like you did prior to Rolling into a program like Teen Challenge what were some of the strategies that you used to stay the course and I'm married and I have three kids right so I know it's crazy dude you don't have kids yet but like that probably put a whole another spin on things right like it's like found purpose in Christ right you didn't find purpose in man and you don't you no longer need to find the validation man and you're not looking for man's validation because you've already received the validation from God and so in that when you find this relationship and this connection with God the relapse no longer becomes a thing when it surfaces its head it's not like oh look I'm gonna do this thing it's like wow I value this relationship more than I value this and I Rely so much on the holy spirit's empowerment today because the thing is that in my own nature in my own flesh and things like that I am weak and that's okay it's okay to be weak it's okay to not have it all figured out but it's like when we're weak he's strong in us right so like you just want to say thank you guys for everybody that's going to be listening to this podcast today we have a awesome guest that we would love to introduce to you his name is Tyler he's a graduate he's a husband and an about follower of the lord loves the lost people and so without further Ado let us have Tyler just give us a brief context of his history and where he's at now and we'll find out where he's going in the future about the leaving of the holy spirit so Tyler just give us a little bit of history about yourself man yeah absolutely thanks guys for the opportunity to hop on here with y'all and just wanted to encourage you guys this is crucial and I love the dialogue and the conversations that you are having especially with the perspective of reaching out to those that might not have Community or those that might have straight away and just really bringing people on it can just share a message of Hope and encouragement and this time and it's a time where we need community and we need each other so I appreciate what you guys are doing and bringing people together and bringing people on to share their stories so keep up the good work in that but yeah my story started man like I started pursuing recovery before I started pursuing Christ so I was the guy that tried like After High School when I had a full-on drug and alcohol problem I started seeking help like in my early 20s like even as early as like 19 years old like I realized I had a problem so I was going to AAA meetings n a meetings I was pursuing like clinical counseling and psychologists and going into different Residential Treatment programs and I went into a couple programs before I went into teen challenge in January of 2016 and every time man like I realized that I had a problem and I realized that I was in this special vicious cycle of like relapse and Falling on My Face getting arrested going and having to be on prescribed all kinds of like different medicines doctors told me I'd have to take medication the rest of my life just to be normal because of childhood trauma and that's like a whole nother part of my story it's just like what led me to start using drugs and alcohol and that was based upon a lot of hurt and Trauma from the past and a lot of wounds that took place at an early age and growing up in a dysfunctional home and family being that my dad was an alcoholic uncles were alcoholics my Mom was adopted and both of her birth parents were drug addicts and alcoholics like I had this notion as a little kid like I can't drink or I can't do drugs because more than likely I'm going to become my dad or I'm going to become somebody who struggles but High School came and I began to experiment to the point where Prospect by the time I was a senior in high school man I tried pretty much every drug that was out there in that phase it was a regular like marijuana smoker and started drinking and partying but once I failed out of college is when like narcotics really got a hold of my life and I started really doing a lot of opiates and cocaine and things like that and at that point once I fell into the Trap of an opiate addiction like my life just got Reckless and got out of control so quick so I was extreme in nature like I would couldn't just have one drink or smoke a little bit of pot like everything that I did was extreme in nature but after going through a couple different programs and things like that not really processing things that was going on in my life like when I was 21 or 22 which is actually the age that PTSD manifests in a young adult male PTSD actually manifested in my life and for a period of two years I went through flashbacks to trauma that I experienced I was dealing with suicidal thoughts and depression to like a magnitude that I never felt before and I quickly began just on this path of like I was either gonna die from an overdose or I was gonna die from suicide because of like the pain that I felt inside and I was 25 years old and I thank God that I met him when I did at 25 but I was 25 years old and I was actually in South Florida of all places close to where I'm at serving the lord today is in Fort Lauderdale Pompano Beach line in a program is an Extended Care Facility one that was for dual diagnosis like depression and drug and alcohol addiction and I remember just laying in the bed of that facility and I was like man I'm just like so sick of this cycle of in and out of programs so sick of getting arrested so sick of the medication you name it and through that dialogue that I was having with myself like the words Teen Challenge came to my mind and I was reminded the first program I went to when I was like 19 or 20 years old I used to be a two pack a day smoker I was walked by two guys sitting on a bench one guy said to the other they're trying to send me to Teen Challenge their year-long program and this was like five years later so like I realized like in that moment there was no reason why I should have remembered that but I recognized that it had been had to have been this God or a God that spoke that to me it made no logical sense why I remembered a conversation that's like me going to Walmart and overhearing a conversation walking into a door but as quick as you hear that as quick as it's gone but the Lord decided to use that as a seed and that's what led me to Stanford Teen Challenge in January of 2016 and yeah when I told this program I was like I want to go to Teen Challenge they were like man you don't want to go to Team like man you don't want to go to Teen Challenge that's the Christian program you won't be able to smoke cigarettes or this that and the other I was like listen if it means just for me to I'll stop all that today if it means me getting into that program and I left it all behind and went into Stanford Teen Challenge and it was just my second week of the program that I met the Lord and it was a during a time of worship and praise in the chapel and at the time it was carpeted I remember walking down to the front and hit my knees on that carpet and just said Jesus I need you to come into my life and forgive me of my sins and ask them to come into my heart and in that moment I met the presence of God and I just cried and it was the first time I cried and what felt like was probably honestly years and guys on the program came up they laid hands on me and prayed and that was when I actually felt the love of God demonstrated through people so it was my second week in the program man that I met the Lord and we were fortunate enough that we had a men's God encounter come through my first month in the program from a church called Faith Assembly and I remember one of the most powerful moments of it was like a forgiveness exercise that they walked people through and that was when I learned how to forgive those that hurt me growing up this all happened in like my first 30 days unforgiveness in my heart and I was instantly healed of PTSD instantly like not taking any medication I haven't had a flashback to trauma and in that moment through the power of forgiveness God healed me from PTSD like where I could have a conversation like this at any time and all this clothing I'm like having a flashback to stuff I went through as a kid like it's just really a miracle what the Lord did in my life and I've stayed with the ministry and Teen Challenge since then I felt the call of God like probably my fifth month in the program my Call's not Teen Challenge and I think that's like unique like I'm at the point like in my recovery Journey or my walk with Christ it's like Lord however you want to use me you can use me if that's like serving in so yeah do you want to go first go ahead man are you sure yeah all right no man you said something in the middle of your testimony that caught my attention so you said that when you were younger watching The Addictive patterns of your family the alcoholism and all that stuff that you experienced around you at one point had set your mind that you never wanted to touch it but then you said High School world around and then you started to experiment and so I'd be curious because I think for maybe parents or family members that are listening in and watching their kids what I'm saying and a lot of times are trying to Shield them and protect them from going down this path of addiction right I know my dad and I used to say all the time we were running the TC program we would wish that our jobs didn't exist right we wish that addiction prevention would become so good that Teen Challenge didn't have to it's so good that Teen Challenge didn't have to exist nobody we all love serving in this ministry because we know what it feels like to experience transformation but nobody wants to have to serve in this ministry right from that perspective and so I would be curious to see what to hear you elaborate on what shifted there was it peer pressure was it relationships a struggle to fit in like what were you on pursuing the alcohol was one part of it right but what were you really pursuing in that moment when he started using I would say acceptance at the end of the day I was and I think it came from a father wound honestly a lot of my hurt had to do with like an absent father an abusive father and things of that nature so the thing that just hit my mind as you were asking that was acceptance and looking for validation and others not really even at that time of my life not really even knowing my identity right like I'm a teenager just trying to figure out life and I didn't know Christ right so like obviously that's our Firm Foundation as a Believers our identities are in Christ but at that time I didn't know the Lord so I was looking for validation I was looking for acceptance in all the wrong places and even like Middle School I went through a period of time even like of like some bullying and things like that and just had some friends that I had friends we were like the video game guys we play sports and have fun but wasn't necessarily like in the quote-unquote like cool crowd if you will and then when high school came that like carried over and I had friends right like they were good people and actually some of them were Christians but there's just still like this drive of like trying to like discover of like who I am like who can I become who can accept me and who can like me and it just man it was like before I knew it was probably like my junior year of high school it's like man like some of my friends from middle school that weren't necessarily my friends came back into my life and they were the ones that were really successful in like sports and that was like a lot of the guys that were partying at the time so I went out and started partying and that was when just the first time man things escalated and I knew I had a problem but I was that little kid that said like I can't touch this stuff or else I'm going to become just like who my dad is like I just knew it like deep inside of me maybe it was a warning that the Lord put in me as a child like that I can't do this and I don't know but it was definitely the acceptance and looking for validation in all the wrong places it speaks to how much we really crave being known and being loved and one of the things that we've really been hitting on in these conversations is the value of community and the desire to be known and to be accepted would like overread any fear that you had to becoming what you were afraid of becoming right that's how strong that longing for community and connection and I know Rob wants to ask a question but before I give it over to him what era of video games NES was it Sega Genesis you were talking like the original Xbox okay like Halo like where you had to like you got the two consoles together and you could like connect them so you could have X amount of screens up but that era for sure okay I was I was Nintendo 64. so we would get down on the original golden eye that was the first oh yeah shooter game man brothers and all that fun stuff yeah that game was epic but go ahead yeah I feel like so disconnected right now because I didn't play video games like I had the system but I never used it it's it's interesting that you're saying what you're saying Tyler because you become what you behold and so where I what I'm hearing as I listen to you is the Deep desire to be like your father and from a spiritual perspective we desire to be like the one that created us right he told he tells us to be like him and so you saw your father you saw the image of your Earthly Father which was nothing that you wanted to be but the fact that you have the abuse and the abandonment from him the lack of acceptance from him throughout a period of your life you were like man I don't want this but yet at the same time it's almost like you fell down this path of addiction because you thought in your mind almost hey look if I do this maybe my dad will also accept me maybe he'll validate Me Maybe he'll take me in and I could be wrong in my thought but as I listen to people's stories man where I get the most intrigued is looking at people's past and seeing the younger years and how it's affected them and so like if maybe you can speak on this a little bit but like where is your relationship with your father now if you have that and how have you learned to navigate through receiving the acceptance of your heavenly father rather than being violated by your Earthly father yeah that's good there was I would say with what you're describing there is definitely a portion of time that was in the very early on of my 20s is like when a relationship started to be potentially there with my dad it was actually formed on Common Ground that I got hired at a pest control company and my dad was a pest control technician so that was like our thing that like bridged the gap of communication like okay so I'm a pest control technician so is he so I could call my dad and have conversation about that and it's an indoor for conversation with my dad however that was short-lived and the fact that at that same time I was an alcoholic as well and I lost my license from a DUI in 2012 and my license was my job to get into this work truck and get to different customers residential and Commercial so I lost that job and that time that even at that period of time I felt like man like a sense of worth I'm doing something productive I'm I'm the guy that's coming into people's houses and helping to solve a problem I felt important but addiction otherwise took me down another path and wowed and so did then at that point relationship with any potential relationship with my dad to the point the last time up until right before I came into teen challenge him and my mom and they don't have any relationship today but I was in a crack Motel just got evicted out of an apartment that I was selling drugs in and I moved into a pay by the week motel and I blacked out for an entire week on Xanax and I woke up with like my face this close to the mattress and I was wearing glasses and they were like flipped so it prevented my face from suffocating and I remember taking a deep breath looking around me I'm like looking at drug baggies needle caps empty liquor bottles and I would find my phone it's almost dead underneath the bed and it says a date a week later than what I remembered last I lost an entire week and that was like my point where like I was like man like I'm not gonna live like things are really bad it was actually my dad who found me down at this cracked Motel him and my mom had dropped me off at that first treatment facility that I shared about the seed of Teen Challenge being sewed in my dad and I's relationship today man even like there's been so much like the thing is like we can like look at like from a program side of things in Teen Challenge like of course there's so much growth and things and Monumental accomplishments that you make and you have while you're in the program but my Lord like and I'm sure you guys years into this thing too can I can agree it's like so much growth happens when real life happens when you have a family when you get married when you're you're serving and you're connected to community or different trials and crisis has come along the way and after I graduated Teen Challenge I saw a relationship with my mother great right like it was the best relationship that I had up until that point and it was founded in Christ now relationship with my sister started to come aboard and I had that hope like well man my dad like There's Hope for restoration there with my father but even like when I was a student in Teen Challenge I tried calling him and then I guess he blocked the Team then I guess he blocked the Teen Challenge number even like or my cell phone after I graduated but I was asking I was like Hey just wanted to reach out let I'm doing good just want to touch base with you share what God's doing in my life and I had that hope and drive for restoration finally he responded to a letter that I wrote and called me we had like three conversations there pretty good and then there's and then in this letter just be super vulnerable I let him know that I for forgave him but then I also apologize for things that I even did in my mess and my addiction like I broke into his house and was about to steal all of his guns and somebody that I was with stole a piece of jewelry from his house unbeknownst to me but again it was like at that period of time where we like blacked out and just doing stupid stuff and that was something that I said some things to my dad on the telephone that really were cut throat and hurt right and he brought that up in our third conversation like hey like I hear these things but there's still some things we need to talk about and I was like what do you mean like like what look how can we talk this through I'm sorry taking ownership like how can I make this right like going through the process of amends at that point I didn't hear from him for a while but I saw him one time since I've gotten saved and that was he has cancer right now so that's a whole other story he's got a terminal cancer that they say is uncurable but he's actually been alive for like the last seven or eight years so it's I believe God's grace and mercy on his life keeping him alive but I saw him at a nursing home when my nanny was about to pass away we went and saw her and she was in like the late stages of like Dementia or early stages where she was a little bit confused and it recognized people but as I left she looked at me she was like all right Tyler and I was like yes I was like and he recognized me got to say goodbye and as we were walking out of that nursing home my dad walked in I'd had no clue he was coming out but my dad walked in with my grandfather comes up and he's like hey how's it going I said good I just had seen the last visit God restored that relationship with grandparents is it where you live in Dallas like Columbus Georgia I'm working up at our regional office yada my dad's listening and finally like my dad comes up and I it was so weird it was like as a father should embrace the sun like I embraced my dad like I just gave him the biggest hug while I held on to him and I it was like I almost felt like something breaking the spirit but now that it's been a couple years since that happened I really believe it was affirmation that like I have genuinely forgiven him that I've done everything that I can to pursue relationship and reconciliation but that's a relationship today that I actually don't have and I got married I invited him to my wedding we got married at the height of coven which is a whole other store here or wedding changes planned but my god I got engaged right I sent him some pictures he said congratulations then I reached out and said hey just want to let my wedding invitation is also going to include my pap didn't hear anything then it was like Hey Dad we ended up getting married and sent him pictures and nothing like no congratulations no phone call and that's been now a period of three years that wow to him so but through that process like like that feeling of like maybe like losing hope or like wanting to give up or just saying what like or even being like angry with God like why isn't this relationship restored like I have such a piece about it and like knowing that I've done everything that I can and these almost eight years of walking and serving the lord and walking and worrying repentance in my life that I have a genuine peace and I pray for my dad every day but really I've really grown in the last couple years of like knowing who my heavenly father is and that he is not my Earthly father and the hurts that I've even experienced from my dad on this Earth they're inconsequential compared to the love that my heavenly father has for me and that's my dad like my Father in heaven yeah it's been a journey in that retrospect but hopefully I didn't ramble too long on that but it's like layers so no man you're good so the the process of reconciliation and whatnot right the work that you've put in there I imagine that's it's not been easy that's it's not a easy process to walk through but like how vital was that so Tyler just out of curiosity since Teen Challenge have you relapsed at all or you stayed the course no I said the chorus thank God yeah there had been opportunities maybe that I could have or places in my life like where I was really down and out and struggling where I may have turned to it but man it's been God's mercy on my life man that I haven't even since I was like I used to sneak cigarettes as a student like up until my fifth month of the program but I haven't even touched a cigarette since graduating Teen Challenge or drank or used any drugs it's just it's a miracle man really so yeah I was just wondering I made that connection there because I know sometimes like those past relationships and those past wounds right can drive us back into a place of Darkness if we're not careful even when we attempt to reconcile and maybe it doesn't work out like we anticipated or they don't respond to our letters or us reaching out and apologizing that can take us back into that dark place and so I'll just be curious to see how you dealt with that what I'm saying how you dealt with some of those moments maybe when the reconciliation didn't work out as you anticipated or as you hoped and prevented yourself from going back into that dark hole or coping with it maybe like you did prior to Rolling into a program like Teen Challenge what were some of the strategies that you used to stay the course and yeah that's good because I I give glory to God for everything that he's done in my life but I'm one especially like even in like a lot of like my preaching and teaching today is like really trying to train and equip people like to go to scripture and like when Jesus says like we can anticipate trials and persecutions and hardships and things like that to take those words very serious because it's a word of warning to us on the things that even as Believers if not have been more so honestly believers it's desperate for God like Lord I can't like I honestly like I can't do this without you like when it says like in the word like you can't do anything apart from him like that's my story like I really can't so remaining desperate for God and has been the anchor if you will another has been a consistent prayer life and through that desperation like even like how my prayer life started as in like even like how my prayer life started as a young believer was like talking to him about how I was feeling just like creating that dialogue with God through prayer and just growing in a prayer life and then Additionally people in your life that it has to be God first it has to be but then people in your life that you can at any time like man I'm jacked up right now I need to talk to somebody like let's get real here like yeah I need prayer like this is what's going on up in here like hear me out would you pray for me just having those couple people that like when you're struggling you can just shoot him a text message and when they say man I'm praying for you it's not just like that text message back but they're actually gonna pray they're gonna call you they're gonna stand in the Gap like as a friend so yeah and then like the caught up in the Earthly things but keeping a Heavenly mindset because circumstances and things change but like really being intentional you don't want to ignore what's going on around you don't want to put your head in the sand but really having a Heavenly mindset about things has really helped as well yeah that's really good man Justin what were you going to say no I was just going to say I think sometimes me and I a lot of times especially I know when I was in the program a lot of guys would act like they just didn't have the desires anymore like the Lord changed me and I know some people I've heard stories that say that the Lord took the taste out of their mouth immediately and I love that and I love when that happens for people but I also know the reality that sometimes like especially during the first couple months I wanted to leave and go get high and it was Robin I had a conversation about this a few months ago like where it's like it we don't help ourselves by acting like the desires don't exist right because if we don't if we act like they don't exist and we can't Implement any strategies or tools or pray specifically for for fixing it and killing the Flesh in that moment and so I love how you're very systematic and talking about how it's been my desperation for God it's been my prayer life but then also the people around me having the people that I can hop on the phone I can text and say I feel like doing this right now and they're not going to shame me they're going to judge me they're going to meet me where I'm at and pray for me but actually pray for me right instead of just because that's the typical Christian non-response it's like I'll pray for you and so we feel self-righteous and Justified that we're doing something but like man if you're gonna pray for somebody you gotta actually pray it's not enough to just say hey brother I'm praying for yeah so man that's that's really good I appreciate you breaking that down the way you did no go ahead I was just gonna say on that note like something I challenged myself to and it's like instead of saying like hey I'm praying for you like I'll type out a prayer like even if it's on Facebook like if somebody's turbo and I'll like type out like a prayer in Jesus name and send it to him rather than because how fast you can like lose stuff like that's like a healthy challenge it's like man like actually call them up and pray for them or like type out a prayer to them rather than just saying hey I'm praying it's just that's your hands Emoji yeah like right yeah we would be good man right yeah dude it's it's interesting though man but Tyler I know that you are currently at a women's Teen Challenge facility which could probably be very overwhelming I don't know if I could be in a facility with just all those women there's no is there any male staff besides yourself no okay so with that being said man like I know that your community is basic because you're in a new location right you don't really know a lot of people down there I would assume not yet at least so how do you establish Community like where is your community now like what are you doing to just stay the course keep the faith that's good I would say a lot of the community that I presently have just to be honest is from different seasons and different locations that I've stayed in contact with like I have a good friend who lives in Georgia a good friend that lives up in Stanford but people that I talk to regularly it brings in like this you have to be so tactful as a minister to get fed and to even like get poured into and especially like in Teen Challenge like for example like a lot of Sundays I'm leading a rally and I'm preaching in a church or like we're traveling on like the road doing Ministry presentations so that time that you're not ministering or you're not that you're not like on the road doing these things you have to be so intentional to go out and pursue that Community me what it looks like right now I'll be honest we got here in December so were right now still learning and learning this ministry learning the program putting into place new systems and things like that so we're in some retrospects like trying to keep our head above water I'll be honest like it's a brand new season so until things like are just moving forward in a good direction so we're trying we're in the process right now trying to find a local church that we can go to during the week and get involved in like a small group with I'm an Assemblies of God minister so that would be like an AG Fellowship for me I would say we've been able to get connected with a handful of pastors that have really embraced us and not only have like gotten behind us ministerily but then personally as well there's a couple pastors that I would say I could consider friends that even ones are sectional press fitter for the collection of churches that are in this area that has really gotten behind my wife Lauren and I so really just developing those friendships but then having to like be creative about ways to get fed is even like a pastor if that makes sense it's tough because you get caught up in so much serving and so much pouring into others you have to be creative in a way to for that to be reciprocated so right yeah I think that's good man because I think for me and Dustin like when I stepped out of Teen Challenge right I stepped into the quote-unquote real world because you got TC world and I think you have like the world if you will and so it was really interesting for me to develop an established Community right like I didn't know what to do how to do it who to connect with right like you're around people that are either cussing up a storm 24 7 and you can't correct them as you would correct a student what or if they're just doing things that are out of the norm for you right and so TC has taught me how to stay busy and not to slow down and so like in your perspective it's like you have to stay busy 24 7 because of the role in the position that you're in but that could also be very detrimental from people because it's like hey how do you deal with the rooted issues that you have and continue to grow outside of the realm of being under this umbrella of no longer being a student right but I think in reality we're always students right so like how are you in that regard I think you answered this but how are you staying rooted and grounded if you will in a mind frame of I'm still a student and I still have a lot to learn and do you find yourself to be completely delivered from all the things that you've already been through or do you find yourself in a position where it's like little by little if you will you're you're able to address certain things that you might not have been able to address while you were in Teen Challenge because now you're married now so like I already I'm married and I have three kids right so I know it's crazy dude you don't have kids yet but like that probably put a whole another spin on things right like it's like yeah absolutely like where are you if like I know I asked you a lot but like I'm just intrigued man because you're one of the first people that we've interviewed that are still currently in a program right and so like you give different perspective than for people like us that have been out of a program and established lives if you will not saying that you don't have a life you still have a life but it's a little bit different yeah I think for me like I have to one of the things I would say maybe in like my first couple years it was like Teen Challenge can be very consuming if you will and you can stay as busy as you want to but even like when we went up to Baltimore for like a year and a half and we were even in like Columbus Georgia and things like that I would say like learning like I'll be honest like Teen Challenge is the furthest thing for my life like I think a lot of people can fall into the Trap of like this ministry is my everything TC I bleed star man you name it but and I don't know that's great like I don't knock that right but for me like my life is so much greater and my life is so much more than Teen Challenge so like it's Ministry and it's an assignment from God but my life is so much greater than Teen Challenge so like I stayed in just like that posture of just trying to remain humble and like I'm the first one to say that like I'm one bad decision one decision away from thinking that I have this all figured out to being on my face it's like as soon as I think I got this or I got it all figured out I'm one step away like the word of God says let no man think he's Stan lets you fall like I don't have this I don't have the science I don't have all the answers but like there was a point in time when I was in the intern and seeing challenge I was sitting out behind staff apartments in Sanford and I remember reading the word and it just felt like dry I was like man I just feel like I'm going through the motions just reading the word and doing DeVos I remember asking God I said Lord can you give me a fresh hunger and can you give me a fresh desire for your word and in that moment something switched in my heart and I've had like this desire and hunger for God's word that has never left me for years like every day I'm in the word and every time I read the word of God it ministers different depending on like what I'm going through so like the word the holy spirit's our teachers so like when I'm going through different things in like my life or my personal life like the holy spirit's there to minister to me through the word or through how he talks to me and things like that and in the end there's been so much that I've gone through post-teen challenge like with crisis in my family or getting married it's like man like I have struggles today and I think that's one thing like especially in leadership it's like most people feel like they have to put and especially as men right we have to have this man I got everything figured out I'm strong I'm the provider I'm the protector but it's tough for men to be vulnerable in the season because you have to you feel like you have to be strong and things like that but you have to we have to get real with ourselves and be honest like with how we're doing what we're thinking what we're struggling with and every season of my life there's been things like okay for example it's like I get married and I think I'm further along in the area of like anger or something like that and then all of a sudden I'm like oh my gosh like I'm actually not as further along in this I thought and there's so many certain marriage will bring out of you come on in any other situation so it's been like it's just been a process and there's still things like man even like today for example right new ministry assignment new level of leadership if you will and with that comes new challenges like I'm learning how to navigate through stress for example that I never felt before or I'm bearing a weight ministerially that I've never for before so learning just how to navigate that with God like right now for example like as an executive director like okay all of this pressure or all of these things ultimately come on my shoulders and yes it's true but like learning like man like I don't shoulder this by myself like this isn't my Ministry yeah this isn't fully my responsibility but learning how to like yoke up with Christ in these things and helping you order my burdens because it's like the natural man wants to be like man I gotta figure it all out how are we going to get the money how are we going to do this like we have to build these relationships and it can be so it could become stressful but learning like to be in step with the Lord and being led by the spirit in these things so like even today that's just a practical thing that I can share like I'm navigating through a whole level of stress that I've never felt before but it's been good because man every time that God brings me on the other side of something that I'm faced with or I'm struggling with I know it's just making me stronger like I can at this point almost eight years into this I can look back and be like God you've okay God you've brought me from drug and alcohol addiction and you brought me on the other side of PTSD God you brought me on the other side of these relationships God you saw me through this crisis in marriage God you saw me through one of the hardest seasons of my life ministerarily in Baltimore City God you saw me through this that I can look back and there's a track record with God that points to his faithfulness and his goodness in my life that like when I'm faced with present difficulties I can look back and be like God you've seen me through so much like surely you're going to see me through this today like keeping that tracker God what's so good man it's like what I'm hearing Justin this is what I love about you Tyler man I got to give you some praise for a moment dude but your purpose is greater than your relapse and you found purpose in Christ right you didn't find purpose in man and you don't you no longer need to find a validation man and you're not looking for man's validation because you've already received a validation from God and so in that when you find this relationship and this connection with God the relapse no longer becomes a thing when it surfaces its head it's not like oh look I'm gonna do this thing it's like wow I value this relationship more than I value this right and it's like I'm not going to jeopardize my marriage or anything at the expense of a simple temp a moment a light moment of a pleasure right because it doesn't last yeah that's the reality it seems pleasing it seems rewarding in the moment but what you're doing man is so honoring and so rewarding to hear that you've taken the time to heal and you're still healing and even in your struggle of everything that you constantly say brother is I'm taking everything to the Lord and I'm letting the Lord do it because I know I can't do it yeah you gotta we gotta like stay in that posture of humility like before the Lord and like man I'm telling you act pride is something that will try to creep in like all the time right but just remaining like in that posture of like like Lord I can't do it I can't be a follower of you I can't be a husband I can't be a pastor I can't be a Ministry leader like apart from you like I can't do anything apart from you and I Rely so much on the holy spirit's empowerment today because the thing is in my own nature in my own flesh and things like that I am weak and that's okay it's okay to be weak it's okay to not have it all figured out but it's like when we're weak he's strong in us right so like being in this place of like just broken before the Lord and just a postured like humility I think sets us up to be used by him and all right and for us to like be real with God like and have a repentant heart and one that really desires to please our Heavenly fathers it's like the Lord doesn't look at the outward appearance of man but he looks at the heart and I'd say almost eight years November will be eight years that I've been sober right but even I would say in the last couple years like there's been some nights that I'll have dreams about drugs or alcohol not maybe not so much like using dreams or anything but one of the first things I'll do when I wake up I was like man that was crazy but then I'm like God thank you like that's not good and thank you for everything that you've done in my life up until this point but the struggle and the Temptation could still be right there and the enemy we don't want to like over spiritualize it but they're The Enemy he does room to and fro seeking for those that he can devour and then I think so in that notion and then we have our stinking flesh like when we're weak in the flesh or we're like the the acronym for relapse halt it's like hungry angry lonely tired like it's an acronym like that can be used towards relapse or relapse prevention in those moments of weakness sometimes the enemy I feel like could just come on in and try to like tempt us in a moment of weakness but we have to keep our guard up and be strong and just really I think as men and women of God to really resolve within ourselves like I'm not who that person used to be and like you said like I have a family I have a career I have all of these great things going for me right now it's like one bad decision and the consequence of those decisions can completely derail every good thing that God has done in my life up until this point it's almost like this fear of the Lord that can keep you grounded it's like he's given everything to me and blessed me so much it's like in one decision or one moment the Lord could just be like no and I could lose it all based upon my own consequences and I have as a man like I have a responsibility as a husband as a Ministry leader and there's like people that are counting on me in the ministry that I give to give it my best and to give it my all for the sake of seeing Souls one for his kingdom and for God to be glorified so he wants us to be healthy he wants us to be humble through that process and and I'll say this because he brought up the concept of working in women's ministry even like different seasons that I've been to and serving in different capacities God has been so faithful to do a work in my heart for each season so like when we went to Baltimore knew God was calling us to Baltimore there's a work that God did in my heart that like he gave me this overwhelming passion and desire to see the city saved and people to come into the kingdom like I fell in love with the city and I didn't know Baltimore I'm from Pennsylvania originally but like I've never went to Baltimore but all of a sudden I have this overwhelming love for the city the same thing's true for today like I don't know women's ministry like I've never served in women's ministry before but God has given me a heart for it like to really love these women and to see them want to be free and to see them free in Christ that even in the unique position as like a pastor as a Ed here on this campus like a unique Ministry just minister in a capacity I never thought would be I would able to be used in but there's been such great things God's even done here and it just looks different for me I don't go anywhere on this campus alone like if I walk into a building I'm hello I'm announcing myself before you go like there's boundaries and it's like I don't maybe have a mentoring relationship with like women here but we still see God move on family days and and chapels together and we see him move corporately but that's something I'm even like learning it's just like how in the season like I'm ministering in a new way that I'm not used to I'm used to like rolling up my sleeves and walking somebody through this or serving beside but there is but there are those moments but it just looks a lot different being in my position as a director with my wife at a women's facility but we're even seeing God move here and he was faithful to give me a heart for it so no Tyler dude you have a remarkable story dude it's it's amazing at what God is doing in your life man I think I'm the word would be you're very admirable at the fact that you follow the Lord so willingly right I don't think a lot of people can have that capability to like move from destination to destination actually being young in your marriage how long have you been married now three years so April 2nd was our third year anniversary yeah we've moved twice when we moved yeah from Georgia to Baltimore back to Florida so we've had two major life moves and I know how women are bro women need stability yes like they want to nest and so like that's probably really overwhelming for your wife and that's probably caused some tension in your marriage because it's like this is what the Lord's telling us to do I want to go here this might not be our final destination so we might move again are we going to stay down south so I know that can be hard man Justin you good no come on dude get it together bro I prayed unbelievable well what's cool about this is with my wife Lauren she actually all the way back to when she was a student she had a desire to direct a Teen Challenge program oh wow so this is like yeah this is an answered come on dude this is all soft yeah so it's an awesome assignment but yeah so not only did the Lord fulfill that desire but he did it like exceedingly above anything she could ask so since covet so I worked in Ministry pre-covered and after that season I remember hearing stories from my parents that they went through a lot of craziness like having to isolate students having to lock things down and all of that and people just collectively went through some craziness with all the stuff we were all facing all the fear and everything that was just going on and I'm just curious from where you sit now as a director seeing students come into programs working with students up in Baltimore even during that season like have you seen any changes is the addiction is it is it pretty much the same as it has been are you seeing changes in people that are reaching out for help or did that impact any of that at all on your perspective yeah absolutely I would say covid plus just the last couple years we're seeing like a more highly charged emotionally driven people than ever before so I think even this generation that's coming up and the generation of students that are now coming in through the Teen Challenge doors are those that require much more grace and mercy than ever before I think Teen Challenge in the past I have to caution myself I don't knock this every program's a little bit different but at least don't in my what the Lord's really challenged Lauren and I in and even what we like grew up in through and like up in Baltimore it was just really learning how to be patient and Terry with people and then understanding the concept of like that discipleship is individual so oftentimes we can have this idea and this cookie cutter image of what a Teen Challenge graduate should look like man you should have this figured out by this point in order to graduate you have to look like this or be saying bad exactly you have this cookie cutter image right but learning that like man everybody's stage of growth and their growth in the Lord looks a little bit different so we really try to take discipleship from like a individual side of things and that's like what the Generation Now is crying out for it's like individualism so it's like man like of course discipleship can be individualized like of course you have policies and you have procedures in place like in systems there for protection and things like that but rather than the first thing that you think of is like man we gotta Kick Bobby Joe out of the program because of this it's like well slowing down as like a as a leader being like well could you like can you blame what happened in the situation from somebody that somebody been walking with God for two months or yeah just been delivered from drugs and alcohol for six months what have you but really just slowing it down and having more of like a grace-based approach to approaching things but the students now man people are just so broken so lost and hurting and emotionally driven but the good news of it all is that even though it's more intense and I think it's harder than ever before in this a faith-based context to minister to people the message doesn't change yeah the message is the same Jesus no matter what somebody's coming from or the hurts and the things that they've encountered in life like the hope of the Gospel Remains the Same it might just require a bit more work in ministering it or helping lead people to that truth but really just normally like God's in the details and he can do anything like he still saves delivers and heals today but it's harder like even up in Baltimore man like we have people overdosing on the streets when we were out there ministering having to shoot people with Narcan like literally the level of addiction that we see today it's it's crushing and it's hard and it's it's I don't think something that we've ever seen to this degree before yeah but if I read some of the numbers yeah I read some of the numbers that they did some studies post covet of where the addiction rates went up and I astronomical it astonishes me that like when and I don't want to get political but it's just part of the conversation that when Purdue and these other companies were being sued addiction was sexy to talk about everybody was talking about opioid addiction and now people are dying on fentanyl bite through the roof the numbers are crazy and it's not politically expedient for anybody to talk about it and it breaks my heart because these people are my friends I see myself in their shoes and it's just like it's like yeah it's heartbreaking and we see these numbers and we see it blowing up and man I yeah that makes the hope of the Gospel that much more real I believe and appreciate what people like yourself are doing that Tyler Mann to just remain faithful eight years and just wherever the Lord calls you're saying yes and I I really honor that in you man I appreciate you sharing your heart and being vulnerable about your own story but even just how God is using you today and so for anybody that might pop on if they need help they have a female that needs to reach out for help how can they contact your Teen Challenge Center and and get some help yeah absolutely so we're located down here in Davie Florida we sit on two acres it's a beautiful campus and it's such an honor and a privilege to serve here but it's I will say like one of the things that sets our program apart right now it's like there's a lot of time for the spiritual side of like the program like for a lot of the mentoring and discipleship and things like that happens so we're located here in Davie and we hold up to 16 ladies and right now we have eight in the program so we are looking to fill more beds and things like that so the website's Teen Challenge dot CC and our regional admissions number is 866-563-0497 and the cool thing is with the original admissions department they can help plug somebody into the right program then you can also request like if you wanted to send your loved one to Davey TC they would do everything that they can to accommodate sending them down here so but we love the Lord we're seeing God move here on campus and it's a he's doing a very unique and special thing here and we're very thankful to be here so that's amazing Rob did you have anything to no I know that we're we're wrapping we're over on time so I want to be very respectful for your time Tyler if there's one last thing you're parting words what would you share with somebody that's listening whether it's a family member maybe somebody that's struggling in addiction what would you leave them with yeah just I'm leaving with this just that there's hope for the situation whether that's yourself if you find yourself in a relapse or a loved one that's struggling just know that there's hope for your situation and no matter how daunting or scary things might seem just knowing that even today God is still in the business of rescuing and delivering people from drug and alcohol addiction and there's hope for your situation and just don't underestimate the power of prayer and for God to move in the situation of yourself or a loved one so amen so good well thanks so much for your time really appreciate it and and for those watching again you can check out Teen Challenge Southeast Tyler's out of Davey Florida but if somebody that needs help or you're just you're not sure what to do or where the next steps are that's a great place to reach out to on and again man thanks so much for being here