How Aaron Stayed Clean for 20 Years And What He Learned

and I'd say quitting was easy I did it about 173 times but but when I finally quit I've never looked back man I've been clean for I don't think I was 19 years now and just doing the work of the Lord man so it's it's been a journey but it's definitely been a blessing and a good journey since getting off of the drugs that's for sure man welcome to another episode of rebuilding life after addiction and I feel like Rob we need to have like some catchy slogan to throw there I don't have that right ironed out yet it will come to us eventually right maybe it's just like a little beatbox section I can beatbox what I'm saying but I'm excited for another episode the last few episodes have been super powerful and and some of this deep conversation like both of us looking like fools on camera crying and like the whole cry in Jordan face happening right here on the podcast but it's been awesome because that's authentic expression of Holy Spirit moving and hearing these stories and hearing how the Lord is rebuilding and transforming lives is a phenomenal thing and I'm excited to have our guest on today Aaron Daigle man Aaron and I chatted a few months back on the podcast we did an episode on Church hurt my Aaron's a speaker Pastor author he's well he's not Pastor in a church right now right you pastored in the past but he's an author a YouTuber and man I reached out to him we've been connected for a while but he did a bunch of videos on Church hurt and I appreciated Aaron's perspective on it because it was a lot of times like here that word church hurt it's thrown around in like it's not I'm offended so I'm leaving it's like I've genuinely been hurt and we're exposing some of the hurt and the abuse in the church and dealing with that so that we can get better A lot of pastors shy away from that word they don't like it when you bring that work up word up but Aaron did a great job breaking it down and really teaching on that like thoroughly so that people who are dealing with that are dealing with toxic abusive leaders can recognize it and move on and get healed and his story about that is a couple episodes back so if you want to go check that out but he's also got a history with addiction and helps people with addiction and so we wanted to dive into that part of the story tonight and just talk about that and so Aaron welcome to the show man how are you I'm great man it's good to be back love what you guys are doing man and just niching down and really reaching out to people who are coming out of addictions coming out of rehab and trying to establish themselves and so it's really great to be here man be a part of your journey and see what we can do together today to help somebody who's listening yeah absolutely well you want to jump in maybe a little bit and give our viewers some context like so this is an addiction podcast right so we're talking about that so maybe some of your story and some of your background and why this topic is important to and whatnot yeah absolutely and I'll preface this by saying I remember saying yes let's do the podcast but I had forgot what the topic was about I don't remember even talking questions and I was praying about it and I said what let's I'm not going to prepare for it ahead of time let's just talk let's just go organic and just let where the Holy Spirit leads us so the Topic's important because that's what the topic is today and I'm finding out alongside all of our listeners what we're talking about today but I'm gonna get better at that I promise okay we're work in progress my pastor used to say the best term is it the ones you don't prepare for and it just it just happened anyways I guess okay quick story as far as what's leading up to being here with addiction Dad was alcoholic and crackhead and you did get sober when later on in life but of course I came up in that lifestyle and then when I was 12 years old I had been really wrestling back and forth with God are you real are you not am I going to live for God or not and then finally decided to go ahead and make the leap give my life to God it felt like he had called me to do to travel and to speak in foreign countries and whatnot and after I committed my heart to God someone breaks in my house about six months later with a knife and rapes my mom in front of me in the middle of the night so I flat out told God like if that's what you're going to allow you're not really the God I want to ride with so Deuces to the Jesus thing and straight on to drugs and just started from there I really liked smoking weed I enjoyed it was I was experimenting hanging out getting curious and it quickly escalated I got into harder drugs and I remember sharing the story in my book from my I failed God now what I know it was a different book but anyways I remember in a bit one time I had taken some X pills and I started begging God I said God if you let me live through this I'm there for two drugs again yeah I was just rolling so hard and I always I would constantly use but I in the back of my mind I knew God was calling me to Ministry I remember one time sitting in a circle smoking passing the weed watching my boys smoke and telling myself in the back of my mind do they know they going to hell right now like I know if we die do they realize there's something more because I felt God's spirit just drawing me and I know a lot of addicts can relate maybe you're listening to this episode right now and it might be just coming off drugs or in that same little place where you're you're struggling but deep inside there's more right but it's like those drugs get that clutch on you and you just step back and forth and so that's where I was wrestling like do I go all in on my purpose do I do something better with my life but at the same time I liked getting high I'm not gonna sit around and say oh I'm so glad to be out of that lifestyle I am but it's not like sin is boring it wouldn't be tempting if it was boring I enjoyed that lifestyle and I just I couldn't get away from it man and I struggled back and forth for many years with it and then in my late teens I finally came through and I'd say quitting was easy I did it about 173 times when I finally quit I've never looked back man I've been clean for I don't think I was 19 years now and just doing the work of the Lord man so it's it's been a journey but it's definitely been a blessing and a good journey since getting off of the drugs that's for sure wow that's awesome yeah you went through man how old are you now 35 wow 19 years of sobriety 35 years old married and have kids we're married got two dogs there you go yeah so let me ask you Aaron what was that pivotal moment for you when you made that shift right like because you said you went through numerous Second Chances if you will right because it felt good to get high what was that Revelation like what was that that knock you off your horse going to the road of Damascus moment for you honestly Rob I'm glad you're asking that question because truth is I don't know I can't look back and say like The Shining Light or I was on my deathbed like it wasn't that type of experience it was a like I really want to do these drugs I like Thuggin I like getting high like I enjoyed it and that's what I was part of my identity but then at the same time the Holy Spirit constantly tugging and saying like that's not for you that is not your identity I've called you to something more and so it was this constant back and forth where I would quit and I would go and I'd love I'd really enjoy doing the things of God but then I would fall back into that Temptation and I'd get discouraged and feel guilty and pull away from God but then really enjoy that drug and it was that constant back and forth but deep inside I knew the life I wanted was the life with Christ I knew that I wanted Ministry more than I wanted that drug I just I could not get myself to the point to be ready and it was a kind constant tug of war until finally I just pulled the Rope to the other side and like I was done but it was a decision it wasn't a an epiphany it wasn't like I said a deathbed experience it was simply a decision enough is enough and I'm going after Jesus that's good so when that what a hard decision yeah it is it's not easy man and so you talk about that on you Illustrated that tension right that existed between the life of purpose and the life of using and I appreciate the transparency like it's like just because we're on the other side of this thing doesn't mean we have to act like we didn't enjoy getting high like there's a reason we did it and a lot of people on they try to make themselves sound more holy and righteous like I wasn't holy and righteous at all I was a drug addict and I enjoyed being a drug addict for a while but you talk about this tension that was back and forth and so when you finally did make that decision you said you pulled yourself away from it and that decision was made like so what was different that time around right from the other times that you were dabbling and you felt like you enjoyed a little bit of the Lord but running back like what like were there any things that you specifically did differently in regards to maybe cutting relationships off or some strategies that put you in that place where you were going all in for Jesus absolutely you hit the nail on the head doing drugs is not just an action it's an entire lifestyle it's an identity and so with that comes the activities the people all the time consuming things all the friendships what I did differently that is very clear is that I made an entire lifestyle change so people to this day that I miss who even support me in my walk with God there are people who don't and also mock me at the time of the transition but literally I completely changed my lifestyle no more going to the places completely extra relationships and friendships and shift it totally into building relationships with price followers other men and women who were following God and involved in Ministry and just I broke up with my girlfriend who wasn't following Christ after dating her for two years never went to those people's houses again to this day like it is a lifestyle change and unless you're willing to make that lifestyle change I don't know how it can happen because it's like there's this fire and you keep sticking your hand above the fire but your goal is to not get burned by fire and until you just pour water all over the fire and go do something else instead of sitting at that fire you're gonna keep getting burned and so that's it was the lifestyle change man there's no other way around it right that's so good man because I think about even when I was in my addiction I had triggers right like there was those familiar landmarks so it's like oh yeah I used to do that at the McDonald's so every time I see a McDonald's now I'm like oh but it would bring me back and I think the trauma or the experience that I had in those moments and the road and the path that it led me down was more more impactful than me sticking and staying the course if you will right like I think sometimes we tend to forget where we once came from and that's what causes us to have this relapse mentality where we're just like constantly going back and forth because what we do is and this is how cunning and crafty the enemy is he gives you the good he gives you this side of the tree right it's like oh look this is some good fruit but he doesn't show and doesn't reveal the whole picture and it's until we see the bigger picture that we're able to identify and realize that this is not good for me at all and so I just constantly found myself back into this repetitive cycle of relapse and so I want to ask you when you said that you removed yourself from these areas or these people if you were like how did you manage that like did you run into any of those similar experiences where it's like oh man I remember what I did there or I remember because you probably were staying in the same house right like you didn't pick up and move unless you did but generally speaking people are locked down to one territory so therefore how do they from your perspective get to that point why you were talking Rob you mentioned the two sides of the tree I had this thought that I never met somebody who became a drug addict who started using drugs and didn't like it if you don't like drugs you're not going to keep using them you just right so every addict has this really great experience with drugs for a time right but on the flip side I've never met someone who's been an addict for an extensive period of time who wants to continue being an addict like there's there's always the back end of it where you're like everybody wants to quit once they're addicted so it's it's fun and then the flip side is now it's and you can't get out of the teeth right before it came to me while you were sharing that honestly rob it was I was younger so maybe it was easier in the sense that you can pivot in life right okay it was easy I just didn't go like I If I don't maybe I stayed inside I know what I did is I started going to church a lot I started hanging out with church people and involving myself in other activities I did not move so I did live in the same hood that I was growing up in and yeah I was around that stuff still on the bus but I didn't have to go to their house after school I didn't have to hang out with them on Friday night and go to the party and so instead of doing that I would go to the small groups at the church or I would stay home like I just forced myself and if it were easy it'd be easy right and so changing that lifestyle is one of the reasons why most people never get off drugs because it's not easy to lose friends it's not easy to develop new hobbies and new routines so I can't give an answer is to say like this is the one two three I just know like for me it was abstinence in the sense of like I'm not going period I'm not friends with these people period I'm doing new things period like I just had to do it I don't know that threat of purpose really grabbing a hold of that new purpose and I love the fact that like I just went and got plugged into church and I hear a lot of guys struggle with that well they don't accept me at church or they're going to reject me or whatnot and it's just like man just get around people that are doing something different than you're doing and it may not be the perfect church for you forever when you're first coming coming into this whole Freedom thing and living this life of purpose but just getting around different people that are doing things differently and see the world a little differently than we do right because addiction really messes with our our world view and how we see the world and so that threat of purpose man is a huge one and so on I I I stay astonished at that looking at some of the people that have on really stayed the course within programs like coming out of programs like Teen Challenge or getting a hold of the Lord Aaron they seem to like they seem to find something right and grab a hold of it and it goes back to that point that you were making like I found new passions to pursue new friendships and and I keep I find myself coming back to that theme and almost every one of these conversations all the guys we talked to last week Ace and Luis Ace's struggled with PTSD he was the he served in the hospital right on the onset of covet and had the first patient has a respiratory therapist that got covered and around all the Death and All the destruction he started to struggle with PTSD but now he's serving in PTSD support groups on the other side of his addiction kamiya that was on two weeks ago she she said all her friends wanted to do was get on the phone and talk about our past life and now all she's doing is getting on the phone and talking about Jesus and the friends aren't calling her anymore but there's that thread of purpose and I don't know that I was really there was a question there I just maybe just emphasizing the point I'm sorry but do you have anything to speak to that yeah 100 bro and I actually would travel in whenever I go and preach at different churches if there's a pastor in the city involved in any rehabs or addiction recoveries there have been many times where he's asked me hey would you come and speak at the facility with me and I've gone and there's a message unless I've already been there once before because I can't preach the same message twice in the same place right I reached the same message the first time I go every time and the title is Purpose Driven sobriety the concept behind it is that because we enjoy getting high you can't just stop doing it and then leave a vacuum you have to replace the drive to get high with a drive for something that is more meaningful than the high whatever that may be now you had mentioned also the concept of connecting with church and getting and exploring and seeing what else is out there I believe that like Christ is the way and connecting with the church is the best outlet but if it's between you staying with your current set of friends and not going to church or changing that and getting out of an addiction and still not going to church obviously getting out of the addiction is most important so it doesn't have to be church for addiction purposes it has to be God for a lot of other purposes but if you connect with a martial arts jail or some dance some fishing group it doesn't matter you just need something to replace the friendships and the activities but that's practical side on a deeper level though I believe you have to have a purpose driving you out of that addiction why am I going to get clean it can be your wife your husband it can be your kids it can be a calling to Ministry something but without a driving purpose you're not going to fight through the withdrawals you're not going to fight through the Temptations because it's not meaningful enough but when you put the purpose in front of you and you see whatever that purpose is as long as it's better than getting high which leaves a broad array of options on the table it'll get you out of that I'm practicing entrepreneurship right that's so good though dude that's that's some really good stuff because I feel like that was for me oh man dude the restoration with my mom was one of those big things for me but some people don't they live in broken circumstances right they might not have anybody all they have is themselves right you have people that are homeless on the streets that are an addiction it's like how do I find purpose I don't and how do I find that value how do I find that meaning amidst that chaos that I'm going through that's that's hard when you're in that dark place to really see that light at the end of the tunnel especially when you don't really have anybody to turn to or look at because I think for me one of the hardest things when I was going through my program and you were like yeah like on the surface level to be plugged into a church and so on and so forth but I stepped out of my addiction and I didn't really have any hobbies I had no like I didn't play sports anymore I didn't do things that were like the norm if you will so I had to like try to find it I'm still I'm 34 years old I'm still trying to find a hobby for myself right like I got kids I got a wife that takes up the majority of my time I don't really find time for myself which puts me in positions to where I'm prone to think too much in my mind and then I might think about things that are negative if you were right but just to go back to that original thought that I had when people are in those places and positions where they don't have anybody to find and discover that purpose it's hard for them to it's the words that I'm looking for it's it's hard for them to find that drive because they don't know their value they don't know their purpose right and so when I looked at the church after I came out of my addiction I saw a bunch of Hypocrites and I didn't want to be involved in the church and so when I thought the church was going to be on my side it really was the other way around and so like I looked for this safe place but the safe place which we called the church wasn't doing what the church was supposed to do well let me follow that threat up so Rob was talking about on the offense and stuff in the church and addressing that right and I know you've you've spoken extensively about some of that some of the church heard issues and whatnot and so what are your thoughts on that thread Rob is going feeling like the church isn't untrustworthy place what I'm saying for some of the addicts who maybe have been ostracized right I remember back in the day I couldn't show up at my mom and dad's at certain churches because of the state of my life what I'm saying and so yeah you have any thoughts or thoughts around that Aaron yeah find a better Church yeah even in this church that I was referencing the entire time on the playlist on Church hurt that I did on my YouTube channel within that church I still had a lot of great relationships there were many great people attending the church who were not part of the the chaos and pain and manipulation that was going on inside of the pastors and the leadership team so I don't have to get along with or even like everyone in my church just developing a few key relationships whether you're in church or not in church we really how many friends are we going to have in our adult lives that we really connect with 10 or so if we're lucky and so just finding those key relationships but man if having a church that accepts you and loves you is very important I've traveled multiple countries multiple States it's just I live preaching flying out I'm all churches and denominations most churches that I've been to would love an addict to walk through their doors Not only would they be thrilled to have an addict there like they would that's like bragging rights like yeah we're too like they would tell the other Church like we're reaching addicts what are you doing with your life right so do we think so do you think some of that mindset maybe is colored by perception right there we see the church presented as hypocritical and judgmental in a lot of places and so many times it colors the perception of how we see churches that we walk into so we're made our mind up if you will prior to even walking in the door and that a lot of times that keeps people away from a place that could ultimately be healthy for them in the long run well I never heard it better put in my lifetime Society right now is very much anti-church I saw the documentary on Hillsong I watched all of the episodes about it very sad story and what would happen and I'm not defending that particular church but I noticed constantly throughout the entire documentary there was so much bashing of the church in general in a presentation of what Pentecostals are what the church is and it it was a four episode commercial of like why the church is a horrible thing I completely dislike the spirit behind those documentaries even though half of what they were reporting was factual information about a particular church that being said yeah I think that church has been skewed and we'll continue to get worse as time progresses and Society moves towards a very anti-christ humanistic post Church being cool era in our society so yeah and of course as well as anyone from having watched the church videos I'm I'm definitely not going to sweep under the rug the manipulation and lying and abuse that takes place serious actual spiritual abuse taking place in many churches but to say that's what church is and that church is Hypocrites and that it's unhealthy and like you're you're broadcasting you put 99 in this category where only one percent belong I think you should find a good church if you're an addict and there's ample churches that are available that are great churches yeah and I think sometimes it's like what am I gaining right from going there so at minimum I'm around people who aren't offering me drugs that's a win huge difference right that's it let's see so let's start there the music might not be my preference the walls might not be painted the color that I like I may not even particularly like the preaching style but at minimum I'm around people who are going to encourage me to get closer to Christ and I think that's the starting point for all of us coming out of addiction it's like I've got to do this 180 in my relationships if you will I've got to pull away from the old and start building new well we got to start building somewhere gotta lay the first brick right and to put start to build the foundation and so that's the really the goal I'm I'm actually probably going to do a video on this but I was thinking about what were the three things I would do if I was getting out of rehab today and it's an idea floating around in my mind right now and on what you the first one I thought of so far number one was I would find a church that was at the top of the list but going a little deeper into that was I wouldn't care what the nomination as long as I could get there obviously we don't want to go to a cult right let's clarify that because people get but I wouldn't care about the denomination but I would get plugged into a church second thing I would do would clean up all my social media presence I was an addict before social media right like so there is no evidence of my past other than a few Polaroids laying around somewhere I'm not that old but I'd clean up my social media presence and that's part of that what you talked about a few minutes ago new friends yeah I'm deleting the old social media God gave me a gift so I was on drugs during the Myspace era and I got home and I forgot my login couldn't couldn't get into the account best thing that ever happened to me wow lost all those connections overnight and then number three is I would go find a job and I put it in that order on purpose but the reason the job is at the end and the church is first is because if I was unsuccessful at finding a job then I would be serving at the church right and fill in all my waking hours but it's that idea of keeping myself busy because the pool to use drugs is going to be strong unless there's something to replace that so let me ask you the question because this is a fun it's a fun question to ask if you were getting out of rehab today what would be the first thing that you would do honestly I know this is gonna sound cheesy and cliche I would get a church I would clean up all my friendships and I'll get a job had you asked me that question before you gave me your answer I know the first two would have been on my list and I'd have struggled with the third one however once you've said that I'm sitting here thinking I'm internalizing as you were talking and I'm like wow yes like purpose even if it's not your grand ultimate Destiny career job waking up and contributing to society and then getting compensated for it builds a sense of dignity and healthy pride and takes up some time that needs to be taken up like there's so many wins in just getting a job I've never heard it said but that's what the third thing would be on my list absolutely I would be getting a job it's seems like a no-brainer but that's fantastic man yeah wow well I didn't I think but that's the sometimes like I used to try to tell the students coming on from Teen Challenge like you cannot let grass grow and do your feet when you get home and I know the tendency in our context Rob and I are doing a lot of talking to people that are coming out of rehab the tendency is I've been in this like high-speed very busy program for the last year and it's kept me clean it's kept me connected and so the tendency is I'm gonna come home and I'm just gonna take a break for a little bit I'm gonna chill out in that old statement what is it the idle mind is the Devil's Playground that is like the worst sabotage that we do to ourselves we stop moving forward yes and so when we get home it's like okay I'm gonna keep hitting the ground running and so and I've been following you on Facebook you've been on This Thread about the climb and the amount of time that it takes to build and so let's talk about that the expectation of life from where Aaron is now right so when Aaron first started pursuing Jesus there's been a climb along the way to get to where you are now harder than you thought it would be was it was it easy has it been a great easy journey to get where you're at now from where you were when you first started using because I would love to hear a little bit about that oh wow I am that's interesting you asked me that Justin I was talking with a guy recently and he's he's really stuck in Ministry and he's just frustrated and some doors aren't opening and he told me he says you're doing so well like you're preaching in all these countries and these different states and you're doing YouTube and you've published books and that was really strange for me to hear because to me it sounded like when people are looking at me right now they're seeing that I'm making moves and they're like man Aaron's doing it he's at this place in life like honestly like deep inside I don't even know if this is healthy if this is the reality if it's that I see things people don't see I don't know I don't feel successful in that sin I don't feel like I am where I want to be even at my age there's so much more that I believe has God has put in me and I've seen for my life that I'm striving for I'm working towards and I want to see accomplished so like the gap between where I am and where I want to be is so fast and I'm saying the reason I'm sharing that story is because my entire life let's say the time I quit drugs in my late teens all the way up until now I've always assumed that I would have this breakthrough moment almost like what Rob asked me like what was that moment where you just I now I'm gonna quit drugs I felt like now I was going to have this great job now I was gonna speak at this conference where all the doors are going to open now I'm going to publish this book and that's going to be the one that goes viral like and I would always hope for these big breakthrough moments because I think that's the story we're being sold through the advertising watch this one video and you're make a million dollars by the time you finish the video right but it's never been like that it's always been just this climb and like I look back at the end of the year and I'm like I'm not where I thought I'd be but I'm further along than where I was and I just honestly yeah where I've been at bro is I feel like it's been a slow steady grind yeah over time just gradually getting changes day in and day out yeah man that's good but that that's and it's not a sexy answer right that this is going to be hard work you're right and that's the part of like you're rebuilding life and trying to pursue the dreams and pursue the goals like I think I struggle with that a bit too just being vulnerable digging into that a little bit more like I heard somebody say to me a few weeks ago if we could only see ourselves the way other people see us and for the good for the good speaking and the positive the way other people see our influence and our impact on their lives then it would really impact how much more motivation that we have because I think sometimes we do struggle with some of that self-worth I do personally like man am I really making a difference am I really moving the needle and on I think Facebook memories for me for a lot of that and I know that sounds crazy but I post a lot and I think about seasons of life and it's like man I remember looking at a memory eight years ago where I was posting about something I was praying for and like now I'm living in the middle of it and I think that's craziness to think about that because we don't see it day by day and so we've got to be able to have this Holy Spirit driven drive to keep dreaming and keep pushing for more because otherwise I think the tendency is to go back to what's comfortable and for many of us in recovery what's comfortable is well this sucks I enjoy drugs back there what I'm saying my life is hard right now so I only remember the good from the drugs and I run back to that and don't realize that it actually created a lot more turmoil than the pain that I'm feeling of having to push through just this moment that's so true man this because the pain of change is harder before it's easier right yeah so it's it's doing drugs and dealing with the consequences is not fun so like I said earlier no long-term addict wants to continue being an attic but the pain of not doing the drugs and changing my lifestyle and going through withdrawals and like that is harder than just dealing with what I'm used to dealing with the all the downside of using drugs so it's harder but then it gets easier and then you look back and you're like oh now I'm glad I'm through that right but it's the pain of change that stops people and keeps them the same the rest of their lives yeah that familiarity I think the pain I know is worse than the pain I'm I'm I've heard this said before the pain that I know is easier to cope with and managers in the pain that I don't know the pain in the unknown and that process of getting there and just accepting that is very it's a tough battle but I think it obviously we both know that it's it's worth it let me see where was I going next sorry my train of thought but yeah so back to that threat of dreaming and building life afterwards and so trying to find purpose because that's been the threat of all of this so what if it what if somebody is here it's like I've got the drug things I've got the drug thing kicked I don't want to use it anymore but I I know this is a big question to ask and there's a lot of resources to point people to in that regard but like how does somebody discover that purpose because I think Rob alluded to it a little bit earlier I didn't have any hobbies I didn't have any friends and I didn't really have any clue what I wanted to do with my life what I'm saying and you have any I know you do a lot of Ministries do you have any thoughts on how somebody can get started on that thread of trying to discover maybe what God's called and gifted them to do either in Ministry or out of ministry whatever that thread might be yeah in Ephesians chapter 2 the Bible says that we are his workmanship his Masterpiece created in Christ Jesus for good works those good works that he prepared ahead of time for us to walk in so let me break that scripture down to go into our purpose in discovering what that is telling us that God had a job a roll away purpose a destiny something that needed to be done and then it backtracks and it says now we are his workmanship he is hand crafting us is what that means so that we can walk in that purpose so when you are born God doesn't say oh my God what am I going to do with this one what purpose am I going to give this person it's not how it works God has a purpose and with that purpose in mind he goes now and he starts handcrafting a person to walk in those good works this is what Jeremiah talked about like that he was in his mother's womb and God knew him and formed him inside of the womb every intricate detail David talked about this in the Psalms that I am fearfully and wonderfully made so when you're in the womb God is putting in you your preferences your likes your dislikes your personality where you'd be born what language you would speak who you would meet who you would not meet when you would be like be born all this does all put together and then you're born with God's plan for you to do this good work that be and said when you start feeling drawn to something interested in something you care about something breaks your heart there is a reason why that breaks your heart there's a reason why you care about that you yourself Justin like you when I first met you it was when you were blogging about addiction you've been through addiction you've worked with Teen Challenge and you left working with that directly as a nation started doing other things you were even pastoring I think intermittently and now you're you're right you're back at it you care about addicts you have a heart for addicts God let you walk through that he's brought you through it and you always go back to that there's people who are Christians who love God and love people but don't really have that same burden for addicts they don't understand addicts or even some addicts who no longer have that desire that's because God's not called them to work with addicts the way he's called you to do it so whoever has listened to this like I would say ask yourself what breaks my heart what do I care about and that will give you a clear indicator of what God is leading you into what purpose he has for you what plans he has for you to accomplish with your life yeah and that's so good that's such yeah one of my verses when I first got saved was Ephesians 1 and I actually memorized the message version Ephesians 1 11 and 12 where it says it's in Christ we find out who we are and what we're living for long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up he had his eye on us he had his designs for glorious living part of the overall purpose that he's working out and everything and everyone and that was my life first when I first got saved the message version that was a lot to memorize but it stuck with me all these years man and I shared the testimony so often that when I first showed up at Teen Challenge a dude looked at me and said God has a plan for your life and I was foolish enough to believe it at the moment what I'm saying like and it transformed my life it wasn't a two-hour sermon it wasn't a trip to Seminary it was a few words from somebody who meant it and I believed it and connected with that and it's been this constant and it's it's funny on that because like yeah I've tried to get away from addiction Ministry dude and God just keeps drawing us back and there's this heart because I think that so many are struggling to get to that place that you just talked about really pursuing this purpose out and we're we're constantly searching whereas what I just heard you say is it's already in us we just have to uncover it by the power of the Holy Spirit yeah I think you already know there's something in you that's already drawn to it that's a good way of saying it though it's already in US just let God draw it out yeah that's so good man and I think I hope one day man like there's just an army of addicts that former addicts out there that are just and I that was one of the things that Drew me to TC so long ago was that it seemed like these guys would get out of the program and then the Nikki cruises of the world and the sunny Arkansas these guys that had these tremendous testimonies and then have just went out and just plastered the gospel all across the world because they've been given this gift of freedom and they just had to do something with it and I I do think and I don't think it's in those of us who use drugs very actively to do anything passive I think that whatever we're going after we're going all in oh yeah and I and getting off that fence and just going after it yeah because we had to work for something that so many other people take for granted and it's not that it's bad for them but like they just don't know they don't know what it's like to be sober because they've always been sober so when you fight so hard to have sobriety like it's so meaningful you're like now what am I gonna do like what because the possibilities open up to you and there's so many options and so much purpose that you can fulfill and you're like wow like let me do something now like something other than just spend my time letting grass grow under my feet like he's right absolutely yeah for sure well look man rob had to roll out on us he had a kid calling him took off across the thing I'm not don't mean to put them on blast I just happened to see his tree on the bottom so I saw it on Yeah man so so tell me about some of the ministry you're doing now you mentioned that you stop in and administer different support groups and you're connecting with families of addicts and on man I'd love to hear you even that or some of the other stuff that you've got going on right now in your life that you'd like to talk about that you're passionate about at this moment what is that honestly the biggest passion I have is my YouTube channel I have struggled for years I was on Instagram I was thinking about doing YouTube finally started doing YouTube and then I was doing both and I just fumbling around with it but see what actually I need to give you some context so I was pastoring and I always felt called to travel and speak in churches and help Pastors in their churches particularly on the weekends and I started doing that I ended up leaving the church I was pastoring and also getting out of my teaching career freed up my schedule and I started traveling so I'm working with churches I'm helping I'm pastoring I'm I'm preaching on Sundays in all different places but then I'm throughout the week I'm like well God didn't just call me to like work two days a week as a minister and like right so that's how I ended up getting into the books and then starting to mess around on social media but I kept feeling like God was leading me to YouTube do you do it go all in on YouTube and I just I just know like there's something in me I think when you're doing what you're called to do you have a sense of like peace about it there's a sense of fulfillment and when you're doing something that is taking you away from that you feel it even if you're busy all day long you feel unproductive when you go to sleep that night I have a sense of satisfaction when I'm putting up the videos on YouTube it'd be lives Longs shorts any of it and so that's where I'm at in this season I love doing it I feel like I get to preach a message in one church and that's good but then if I take that message and share it on YouTube I can preach it to the world and that's way better so yeah I just I love it man I'm passionate about the channel and yeah we're all mad man yeah that's awesome and I love that just even the idea of online Ministry online opportunities these days for somebody that is struggling to find purpose going back to what we were talking about earlier like man anybody can pull their phone out and just start talking about the things that matter to them and start to build an audience even online I think sometimes we on when we're blessed in the social media age to be able to have that opportunity and and really pursue things that are passion and I love garyvee he's not a Christian influencer but he said it's it's crazy where you can you could spend your time talking about Hello Kitty and earn an income from your living room yeah but that's that's the reality of the internet in the world that we're in right now is that people not everybody's not everybody's gonna go and do YouTube and all that but the possibilities there and it being where it is now like for those who are trying to find that purpose there's some of that out there yeah at YouTube we were talking about this offline earlier and I think it's fun just a ending point of the conversation but It's a Grind right oh my goodness man I've heard that it was one of the hardest to build on and but it's it's definitely worth it I think you have to pick your fit I don't think there's a right way or a wrong way if God's called you to it and you choose Instagram as your platform or a Blog or your podcast like to each his own personally I just feel inclined to the YouTube challenge the Youtube climb yeah it's it's definitely got some work to it that is not involved on the other platforms but I just like it's maybe a personal favorite yeah no YouTube's fun I'm part of the work that I do on the side editing for people I work with some YouTubers and they've said the same thing like two three four years of just publishing and posting videos and feeling like nobody's listening at times but just keeping putting them out and then all of a sudden they look up and it's like oh there's 30 000 people following my channel now and this thing is starting to pick up steam but it's just that drive and that climb and I don't want to dive into the whole entrepreneurship and YouTube topic I could talk about this stuff for hours but that's not the topic of this discussion but so Aaron do you have any part and words for maybe anybody that's listening around the context of somebody who may be struggling rebuilding their life just and I know that's a broad question but that gives you some latitude to go where you feel like holy spirit may be leading you yeah I would say we talked a lot about purpose in this video and God's calling on your life and that's how I was able to get out of drugs myself I want to talk and mention a little bit about being called of God and God choosing you to do something and I'm gonna tie back into what we were saying just now about social media and YouTube but there's a scripture that says many are called but few are chosen and I don't know about you but I've always wondered like what's the difference or what makes God choose me after he calls me and then I started thinking like there's no way God's gonna call a bunch of people and then they respond to the calling and then him say Well never mind I'm not going to choose you like that didn't make sense so I came to the conclusion that you can actually volunteer for a purpose in God that you can volunteer for Ministry it's and here's where I'm getting that from the book of Isaiah God makes this call he says who will go for me who can I send and Isaiah comes up and he says Here I Am Lord send me and then the next verse says okay go my thoughts were like how many people were out there standing when God said who will go for me like how many people heard that could someone else have been the prophet and it not be Isaiah could somebody else have written the book of Isaiah and it be called I don't know Jim akaya or whatever the guy's name again right the Crux of the matter is God's calling but are you responding once you respond now up until a decade ago you could respond but then you would have to wait forever because there were Gatekeepers if your pastor didn't give you an opportunity you aren't going to have one if you didn't like you had to be not only chosen by God but chosen within the in group in the end crowd and given an opportunity and now even today I'm seeing a lot of Christians who haven't broken out of that Paradigm who are still sitting around waiting to do something that God called them to do now personally enjoy preaching in person I my favorite thing I love to preach in a church but there was a season where I wasn't able to preach in a church so I preached on social media and I can't preach all week long I'd love to Paul did that he would go for days and nights but I can preach on YouTube as much as I want as many times as I want there's nobody that's stopping and so in today's age in society you need to say Here I Am Lord send me and you need an internet connection and you can start doing something for God because you got to have a purpose to get out of it you have a purpose to get out of addiction and yeah man yeah that's so huge you're so funny you mentioned that because it's like in 2020 right before everything shut down I had started it was actually late 2019 I had started doing an audio only recovery podcast interviewing some people I was seven episodes in and I got distracted on something else and I stopped and I'm starting again now but knowing what we know about the last three years all these Christian YouTubers and all these internet personalities came up out of nowhere because everybody was at home and God was speaking to me back then but I got distracted and I paused now the second I'm not gonna lament over that forever because I don't know that the channel would have blown up certainly would have helped during the pandemic when everybody's home staring at their phone but January this year I knew God was speaking it was like okay I can't go back and get what I didn't do before but I can certainly start from right where I'm at and keep moving forward absolutely and that's that's the goal is just like man it is so easy and I would encourage anybody listening if you're man we can connect you to resources you can hop on YouTube as your greatest resource for figuring all this out if you've never live streamed done social media done any of that I'm sure you've done a little bit because you're watching this on YouTube but just do some Google searching and feel figure out how easy it is to find something or just drop a comment question down in the comments below and man one of us will connect with you and help try to figure some of this out that's what this whole channel is here for well I appreciate it Aaron and yeah maybe we'll we'll have to do another one where we can get on and Rob can be a part of the discussion him and I joke all the time man because my disposition is what are the three things I need to do to get across the other side of the yard and I'm very much in that realm and Rob's like tell me what the color of your door was at your house during shot he's very deep and very well and so we've got that balance man on and so but I enjoy talking with you man thanks so much oh man I always enjoy it bro I've been seeing you just over the last two months really I even I almost DMG and I probably should have not and I'm saying it to you out loud but just to say like it's not it's lonely bro it's only doing the online thing in the world's definition of success you feel like I'm putting out I should see some fruit and fruit meaning subscriber base monetization and so when you're working hard you're putting in the effort and you're not seeing that it can be so besetting and discouraging and so it's also a Ministry I have found that people don't always understand some of my friends who are pastoring right now try to connect with them and like share my heart and one of them recently told me he says well what you do is so much easier than what I do you just sit around your living room making videos but it's like you don't see all the crying in the background of like am I doing the right thing like is this ever gonna work and I try to fit like keep my focus man and because fruit in the kingdom of God is not always well we determine to be fruit but I sure would like to be monetized with a silver play button and successful like all the rest of them if the world can do it why not do it as a Christian voice and still get just some of the same practical feedback from it but it's it's a struggle for me I'm saying that to say seeing you doing it and grinding up and posting and just sharing your heart like I see that I'm like there's another like co-worker like I know he's in that grind I know he could relate so it's been an encouragement to see you bro I appreciate watching YouTube man because I have I did this whole interview style thing and even Rob when he got on we're like let's do a co-host because sitting down and just talking into the camera alone is immeasurably harder than people think it is and I know this is counterproductive to what I just said five minutes ago and on yeah don't mind my double-mindedness pick up your phone and do it anyways but that being said it is hard to sit down and record a video like it I don't know I'm like you I enjoy preaching in front of people and interacting with people like you get that feedback from the crowd and the camera doesn't give you that like you don't get that instantaneous feedback and so that's Yeah it's you're showing those seeds and really trusting that God is going to give the increase so that's all there is right so bro I'm gonna say this to make a point please don't like my heart dude when I'm in public speaking from a platform in a church I am a dynamic speaker God is really good did me I've been preaching since I'm 18 years old I'm I'm a really gifted speaker say that being said I've been doing videos for years and I was watching my video because I was editing my own video getting ready to post it and I was like this is not good like I lack something out so I told my wife I said baby how I preach in church do I am I like good on camera like that and she just looks at me she's like no there's something on camera you lose when you do it and I'm like oh my god well yes bro oh man it is so hard man yeah man well that's awesome yes I love it yeah man your wife and mine sound like they would get along so yeah that's awesome man well fantastic well thanks Aaron oh yeah dude thank you for having me bro it's always a pleasure to connect with you and anything you need along the way man on your journey reach out to me bro open door with you but yeah likewise man and for those of you watching please all the errands links will be down below in the description so please check his channel out on are you on Facebook right now are you just primarily Facebook and YouTube Right YouTube yeah YouTube's around post everything and then I got my books on Amazon but YouTube is where we can connect best I just had birthday balloons yeah so anyways yeah Aaron's on YouTube check him out go check some of his videos out and give him subscribe and all that stuff while you're over there thank you guys for tuning in to another episode of rebuilding life after addiction we are here on YouTube again once a week and then Facebook we've got the group going on as well and so if you're looking for a community of people to chat with and engage with and all that jazz on the community on Facebook is a great place to do that God bless you guys thank you for tuning in