If God is Good, Why Does He Allow Suffering?

doing pretty good, man. just taking it day by day. how it is. Yeah, absolutely. Well, I'm excited, man, to get the chance to talk to you tonight. I I think we met a while back. You saw me in my car a few years back when I just got rear ended in my other vehicle and you hooked me up with a good deal and then we ended up connected on social media and whatnot. And I saw that you were out speaking, sharing some of your story. we actually had you up to the church and so why don't you just introduce yourself, tell the audience a little bit about yourself. Yeah, man. Thanks for for having me, Justin. so like Justin said, my name is Carter and I was a car salesman for about five or six years. and that's where met Justin and really what continued to connect us after that I guess it was I spoke at Bridge first right and then you had asked me to come speak at Brookside and we've kicked it off since then but to me man my story is just my life it doesn't seem like anything special for me so it always intrigues me of like why people are interested in learning more about me. It's man, I'm I'm just Carter, ? I'm So, it's it's hard for me to really talk about it because to me, it's just my life. So, but I will answer everything I can to the best knowledge that I have, man. I'll give you the most real raw answers you can get. I appreciate it, man. Well, yeah. I remember you came out to Brookside and all the folks at our church, man, had wonderful things to say just about your perspective on some of the struggles that you've walked through and being able to see God's goodness even in the midst of suffering. And I think that's a lot of stuff that we we talk about as Christians, but it man, it gets real difficult when it comes time to live it out. we try to discern and ascertain God's will for our lives and figure that out. And then when we're hit with roadblocks or things that come out of left field that we never saw coming, it can make it a little difficult. so in regards to your journey, share a little bit of your journey of faith, how you came to Christ and Jesus and all that good stuff. Yeah, man. So, growing up, I grew up going to church. you even went to a Christian school until I was in the eighth grade. So I grew up in the faith. But around I don't know it was probably 13 14 years old is when my journey really shifted another direction. Well at least I thought it had. So at 14 I in the middle of a basketball game, right? So, I dislocated my shoulder and that ended up leading to a a diagnosis I received of a form of muscular distrophe called FSHD. and that's short for fasciocapulo hummeral distrophe. So, in short, it's a lifelong muscle leading disease. It has no cures. It has no treatments. nothing that they can do about it other than continue to work on finding a treatment, but as of now, there is none. but really that is what took me down a long road of eventually coming back to Christ because like I said growing up I would have considered myself a Christian, but looking back I wasn't really a Christian. I was a kid that went to church with my parents and to me that was a Christian, . and I was even baptized at maybe 9 or 10. I don't remember exactly, but I don't really truly consider myself a reborn Christian until probably about a year and a half ago because being diagnosed with that disease, it took me down this long road of, asking one, is God even real? because if he was, why is he allowing this to happen? This isn't fair, . and it it just took me down a long road of pain and struggles and yeah, yeah, yeah, ultimately looking back it's the exact path I was supposed to take because it's leading me to where I am now. but let me ask you a question. Going back to the basketball game is so the muscular drophe is that something that was like always there and the injury exposed it or Yeah. So what it is a little bit it's genetic. So technically, yes, I was born with it. But the kind that I have, it I guess it's always there, but it's dormant until the middle of the second decade of life. So I was spot on for that. So typically any time between 10 to 20 years old in a normal case is when symptoms will start to show up. And I was 14, 15 when that happened. But I was really I wouldn't have known I had it probably until I was 17 or 18 if that had happened because even at when I dislocated my shoulder that took me to the ER to get looked at for the dislocated shoulder. But it wasn't until maybe 3 to 4 weeks after that my mom was like something doesn't look right with your shoulder because of how my scapula wings out and that's the FS the S part of the FSHD scapula. so it's called like winging. It's when your scapula pokes out. but she thought that was because my shoulder hadn't healed properly, but really that was a a symptom of the disease. And it took about 8 to nine months of testing and stuff like that to get diagnosed, but that's ultimately what it led to. Sh. And how did life start to look different after that once you guys found out? I know you just mentioned there was eight to nine months testing and all that, but how did that begin to change things up for you? going from 14, playing basketball athletic, just you're doing life as a 14-year-old, then all of a sudden you guys find out something that you didn't know was there. there. there. Yeah. So, it was it's weird because of how this disease works. It's a very slow progressive disease. So even when I was diagnosed at 14, it wasn't until I was probably almost 16 where things like I could really tell that, something wasn't right. Like when I first got diagnosed, like I knew it probably wasn't good, but I didn't realize it was going to be like this issue. looking back like 12 years later, I would have never thought that I'd be having the issues that I have now. I just thought it was this I might have a little pain here and there. Things might not work exactly right, but I'll always be athletic. I thought I'd always be able to do everything I would normally be able to do. But it wasn't until 16 and it was really I started losing the ability to put my arms above my head. I could still do it, but I could tell it was getting harder. All of my friends were still excelling in sports, working out, at that age as a guy. start going to the gym and was going to the gym and I wasn't seeing results. like all of my friends, they were getting faster and stronger and I'm dude, what the heck? and that's really when it set in that oh man, this is going to be a real problem. Like I'm not gaining muscle. and it's still, like I said, it's lifelong, so it never goes away. It's always going to continue to get worse. but really it started with losing the ability to put my hands above my head. And then by the time I graduated high school at 18, 19, my left arm, I wouldn't say I don't say it's paralyzed, but it's as close to being paralyzed as it can get. I can't lift it up against gravity, like bending it at the elbow, like if you were going to do a curl. I can't do that even against its own weight. my hands that started being affected my hands and wrist at like 22 23 and that's really when I went down the rabbit trail of depression and all of that anxiety and asking why. Yeah. So let me ask you about that your faith along this journey. You mentioned that you were on you were in the church with your parents. You really there and that I grew up like that the I'm being drugged to church. I'm going to twist or whatnot. Yeah. and we learned a lot during those seasons of life. But then how did your faith start to get impacted during all those seasons? So when you found out and you realized what was going on, did it drive you to forward or away from God in the beginning stages? Away for sure. So I probably quit going to church at about that time when I was old enough to where my parents, couldn't force me to go. I guess they could have, but they didn't. They 15, 16 years old, it was if you want to go, you go. If not, then stay home. and I stayed home. So, when I quit playing basketball all the time, I found some new habits that were not healthy habits. I started hanging out with probably the wrong crowd. Well, I know for sure it was the wrong crowd. Started doing drugs. getting into partying and really looking back, that was a form of coping. because I wasn't able to do the things I was I grew up doing, playing basketball. I played football and baseball and soccer. I played I was so athletic. So, I had to find something else to fill my time. instead of filling my time with, Christ and reading the Bible and scripture and everything that I fill my time with now, it was drugs and alcohol and partying, smoking weed and doing all of those things. So, it really drove me away because it I was trying to fill my time, but I was also I was mad like it wasn't fair. I was upset that I wasn't going to be able to go do the things that I wanted to do. That I had to quit doing what I loved because of this disease that I thought God had cursed me with, and if God was even real, he didn't like me, so he gave me this disease. was my thoughts on it. but, ultimately it brought me to where I am now. But yeah, it was it was a long journey. So, what was the shift during that season of life? you begin to dabble with the drugs and you said mentioned earlier some depression and anxiety and oh yeah, questioning God, wondering why did this happen? Why me? Or are you even real? was there an epiphany moment or was it like a gradual process of the Lord slowly nudging you back his direction? how did you make sense of all that? Yeah. So, it really started with meeting my wife. So my wife is in my book she's a saint. she has always been a like a close follower of Christ and intentional about it like would make time to read the Bible and really she grew up when I say the right way it's in my opinion the right way. Her she went to church and she's always been there. She never had that drift away from God like I'd had. But it started meeting her and happened to at a Halloween party, which is funny thinking about it. I'm not I won't say what we were dressed as, but but yeah, met her at a Halloween party, but she ultimately got me back into church. And that's when I started attending bridge six almost six years ago. and it's it's weird because it started as a slow process. Looking back, I know it I needed to get back into the church before I was really able to make sense of all this. but when I'll say that I heard God speak to me, it wasn't like an audible voice nothing what Jesus Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. It was not like a big voice coming down from the clouds. It was really a whisper. But it was a long but it was a short process because when I heard him I knew it's like the curtains came back and everything made sense. But it was a somewhat of a slow process of I went to church got back into the church and it was probably two three years before that it clicked and everything made sense. sense. sense. Yeah. Yeah. So, so that journey back, right? You on when you spoke at Bridge, I saw your video on your Facebook and if you're watching and you guys should definitely hop on Carter's Facebook and check that video out, but you posed a question, is God good? So, I just want to ask you that question here on this conversation, is God good? And maybe unpack that a little bit in context to your story. I won't do that. I'll let you Yes. Yeah. So to answer the question, yes, always. And he is nothing but good. He never knows how to be anything but good. But in regards to my story, what brought me to that was if God is good, why does he allow suffering, right? in Jeremiah 29:11, it says, "For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future." Well, when I reflected that to my story, it didn't have a good reflection. and it didn't make sense. Plans to prosper and not harm don't make sense when you mesh that with being diagnosed with an incurable disease, right? That doesn't make any sense to me. so it started off God isn't good because he allows pain and suffering, and that's not just my story. That's all around the world. Everybody has hurt and pain and but it's it all perspectivebased, right? So I had to look at it from a different perspective before it made sense. sense. sense. So when I ask is God good? I have to look at it from a perspective of if I didn't have musculardrophe, I wouldn't have met my wife. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because I would have joined the Marine Corps like one of my brothers. But if I would have joined the Marine Corps, I wouldn't have been around the night that I met my wife at that Halloween party. And if I had met my wife, I wouldn't have my kids. And I wouldn't trade anything. you're a father. You would do you would die for your kids, right? You would take a bullet, you stepped in front of a train, you would never go back and redo the past if your kids weren't going to be in it. So, I feel blessed to have it. God is good because not only did he give me my wife and my kids because of this, but he also brought me to my salvation. Yeah. Wow. So, when the what does the Bible say? It talks about our lives here like temporary tents, right? Yeah. So my perspective has shifted from looking at this as being a forever to this is a very short period of time where I have to deal with this before I don't have to deal with it ever again and no pain, no suffering. So God is good because he had he was looking out for me in the long run. He knew what it was going to take, for me to come back to Christ, but it's just perfectly laid out my life for me. And I had not always had that perspective. This is only about the second year where I've really been able to see God's goodness through all of this. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. that tends to be an objection, I think, for a lot of folks that are on the fence about faith. it's if God is real, then why, right? Know that tends to be the question I think a lot of people ask. And I think we've all certainly been there at some point or another looking if not a personal experience just looking at the world around us and seeing suffering and seeing hardship and just wondering like you God how can you be so good and loving but let yet allow this stuff to exist and I think sometimes it's hard to swallow some of that but it seems like the Lord's used your story and your circumstance to help you get a grasp on goodness through the middle of all of that. Yeah, absolutely, man. I always reflect Joseph's story in Genesis, Genesis 50:20. it's not that God gave me this disease. We live in a sinful world, right? So, bad things are going to happen. But Genesis 50:20, what the devil intended for bad, God and God used for good. And that's really how I look at things. I don't look at it as he did this to me. This is because we live in a broken world. Bad stuff happens. People get sick, people die, but I can look at that from a perspective of how is God trying to use this for good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that's how I try to look at everything in life. Yeah. Absolutely. that original sin entered the world and it all went downhill from there except for the grace of God and through Jesus Christ eventually coming and dying as an atonement for our sin. it's just a it's a beautiful story. So you went from this place of on grappling with this and really holding on to this perspective of God's goodness. So Carter, what prompted you to get out and start sharing this story with other people, right? Because everybody people have, these experiences and your experience is unique and one of a kind. Your story is phenomenal, but not everybody goes out and shares publicly, right? they say the public speaking thing is like number two on the list of fears. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Horribly. Like people hate it. I think even people that do it for a living get scared. They get nervous every single time. Like there's that brief second where it's "Man, I can't believe I'm doing this again." Like you preach, how it is getting up on the stage, no matter how many times you do it, it's like you still there's that pit in your stomach about it, right? Yeah. I realized a long time ago, I don't need a stage to say stupid stuff. I'm going to say it, so I might as well just go for it. But Yeah. So what gave you the boldness or just the desire what was the Lord doing in you that said I need to get out and share this story share my testimony with other people. Yeah man so really that was a gradual process as well. So one of my mentors someone he's actually baptized me his name is Craig Matherly and he encouraged me to write out my testimony on in paper. Write it out. and that if you've never done that I would highly encourage you to do that. It is such a powerful thing to do. But I wrote it out and it was 44 pages long, handwritten, 44 pages worth. And I noticed God in my life in times in my life where looking back, I had no idea he his hand was in it. Like when I had to go get a test done while I was getting we were trying to figure out what what I had, what was going on. we didn't have the insurance for this particular test. And this test, it was, like reflex testing where they like shock you and stuff like that. nerve testing. but it was like 1,500 bucks. And my mom, she is a woman of faith. Love that woman. She's been praying for me since I was born. and she felt that God was telling her, "Go get this test done and I will take care of it. Don't worry about the cost." so we go to this test and we get it done and the doctor is "I see you don't have insurance, right?" And mom's "No." And he was "How's the hundred bucks sound?" So for $1,500, it was $100 so I could get this test done that I needed to get done to get diagnosed. So I didn't even realize that like I didn't see God in that time of my life in the middle of that. But when I went back and I wrote it out, I could see it was a string line. I could see God working in my life, having his hand on me the entire time when I wrote it out. And so, like I said, it was 44 pages long and ended up giving it to Todd, the pastor at Bridge. Said he said, "Hold on." You said 44 pages. pages. pages. 44 book. Okay. Okay. Okay. Wow. Wow. Wow. 44 pages long. That's almost a book. And that was just from the time when I got diagnosed. So, that wasn't really anything leading up to it other than, maybe a paragraph or two of how I grew up. Wow. but yeah, 44 pages and then I ended up giving it to Todd, the lead pastor at Bridge, and that is what led to him asking me to speak last August at Bridge. And that's what have ignited everything. But I went back and I read John chapter 9, where the man that was born blind. Mhm. And when Jesus tells the guy, "This happened so that the power of God could be seen into him or seen through him." That really that hit home with me because we don't know anything about this blind man after the fact after chapter nine. But I can't believe how many people would have came to Christ because of him and his story. And I felt that I wasn't given a disease. I was given a tool. A tool that can expand the kingdom of God. Wow. So I can go out and tell people about it because you overcome by the blood of the lamb and the words of your testimony, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I it was one of those things that I could just feel was in in a calling and that's such a churchy word, right? Being called. but I really felt that I was being called to that and that not only was being diagnosed led me to have my family and my salvation, but that this is what I was supposed to be doing, doing, doing, right? right? right? yeah, because, because, because, it's it's not nothing. It's not me that's doing it. It's by God's grace because I would not be here today if it wasn't for his grace. So, I feel compelled that I have to tell people this story. and it happens to be my life, but it's not my story. story. story. Yeah. Yeah. Few men. Wow. That's that's powerful. I'm a big Back to the Future fan. I actually have a Lego Delorean here in my office. I love that movie. I love the whole trilogy. But if Carter could hop in the Delorean that actually worked and travel back in time to when he was 14 and just got off the basketball court and got the found out he was injured and is going getting ready to go into the doctor's office. What would Carter today tell Carter at 14 to prepare him for going into that doctor's office? office? office? Man, this is the one thing that I ask myself all the time is, outside of what could I do? What would I do differently? And the only answer to that is go get back into church and find Christ sooner. Even though I think it probably happened at the perfect time, but if it was in my court, I would go back to church a lot sooner. I wouldn't have dabbled in the drugs and the alcohol and the partying. the perspective thing. If I could go back and tell myself or give myself some some hints about, this is how you get through this. and or even if I was going to go in into a hospital and go tell some people that are struggling with sickness and illness, cuz I feel like a lot of the same things that people ask themselves that are sick or going through a hard time are eight out of those 10 questions are probably the same. no matter who you're talking through, if they're going through something that's hard or painful, they're usually asking the same questions. But I would say three or four different things to them, and we just talked about one is perspective. So to have to look at life not through a perspective of my own lens, but knowing that we look through life as a perspective of through a lens of like the size of a grain of rice, right? where God looks through the perspective of he sees the whole picture. He doesn't see just a little snapshot. We try to judge our lives on this small little thing that we know what's going on in the present, what we've done in the past, and we worry about a future that we know nothing about. but would be to always keep a perspective of not why, but what. And what by that is not don't ask why is God doing this? What is God doing this for? what is the purpose for this? And I've once I really turned back to Christ, I really got into the we talked about the speaking thing, but really reading. I never read before and read a lot of books, but I've come to a point where I look at try to look at life through a lens of not like my own life, if that makes sense. So, not why I'm here, it's not for me. What if my life what if I was put on here for one person? What if my life was here to save one soul, to help one person find Christ, one person find peace and joy? but if I had to suffer for, 50 years for that one person, it's worth it because it's not for me, it's for them. And that's what our goal is. is. is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, one big thing would be perspective. Always keep the right perspective. It's not why God is doing this, but what is he going to do with this? Yeah. the next thing. Go ahead. No, I was just gonna say I remember hearing a preacher say a long time ago he u talked about life like a puzzle and we put the pieces in not really being able to see it and a lot of times we feel like we don't have the box top and I'll never forget the illustration because he said but here's the thing your creator has the box top and he's guiding and directing us putting he knows what it's all going to look like. We don't have access to it. We don't have a clue. we see very little. That's right. But go ahead. But that's that's why we worry, man. That's why people worry so much is because they don't know what the future holds. They only see what's going on in the present, which that if you look at the present, you're going to worry. And if you think about the future, you're going to worry. we are this world is geared and built towards making people worry and freak out over nothing, right? Which leads me to the next thing that I would tell them would be why worry like don't worry. And that's a lot easier to say than it is to do. I understand that. But I look at worrying about this about like sitting in a rocking chair is the term I always use. Worrying is like sitting in a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere, right? right? right? So and always say that worry and concern is different. Concern will drive you to take action about something. For instance, like if you're concerned about your weight, it'll drive you to maybe go on a diet or go to the gym and work out. But worrying over something that you don't know is going to happen. Worrying, like I said, about the future is pointless. It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere. There was a study taken from I don't remember it was one of the big colleges about people and them worrying and the study was like 93% of the things people worry about never happen. happen. happen. Yeah. And I was, I was worried about not getting married because I was so insecure. I was worried about never being like loved, never meeting my person because of how I looked and what was going to happen to me in life. I was so worried about all these things. And man, I stressed. I lost sleep, depression. I was so anxious about it. And look, I got married. I have two beautiful children. I that worry was for nothing. nothing. nothing. Yeah. That's amazing because I was so worried about something that I didn't know, a future that I have no business trying to control. control. control. So it would be don't worry about things outside of your control. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then really my third point and this is the probably the biggest one for me for at least having joy but is the hope of heaven. knowing that we are only here for a little bit of time and one day all suffering is going to be gone. All pain is going to be gone. that we will have wings man we'll be able to do I can I'll be able to run I can put my arms above my head forever for eternity what is 80 years for an average life expectancy for 8 billion 8 trillion eight and it goes on man eternity yeah so it would be don't look at life as the end that this is all that there is that there's way more to come a lot better than anything you've ever experienced to come man so those are my Three big points, man. It would be perspective, not worrying, and then the hope of heaven. heaven. heaven. Yeah, that's good. Yeah. And we can't ask this type of questions in the world because I think they're they're they're they're good reflection questions, but also for those who are listening, they may, feel find themselves in a place where they're getting they may be facing something unknown or whatnot. and hearing your story and hearing what you would tell yourself having lived through all that it's just such powerful and powerful insight for people to glean from man and you just dropped a bunch of nuggets there like I like to call them sweetables but man you just dropped a bunch of nuggets there and so for those who are listening that I would maybe encourage you to rewind and go back and listen to these last three or four minutes again because Farter just dropped a bunch of incredible wisdom I And this is life. This is why the Bible talks about in Revelation, we overcome by the blood of the lamb and by the word of our testimony. it's just something encouraging. There's about seeing somebody else walk through and get victory, and be able to be at that place of peace and be at that place of purpose like you are. And so, man, I appreciate you for having the courage and boldness, man, to stand out, stand up and share your story and getting over that fear of public speaking and on and just being that testimony and that light for Jesus. And I if only for one, that's it, man. It's really when I started talking about my story and my testimony, it became easier to talk about the more that I did it. And it helped me accept it. I thought I was already at such at peace with my diagnosis and my disease. But the more I talked about it, the more at peace I came like I thought I was already like fully closed. I thought that chapter of my life was closed. I was done worrying about it. And I'm I would be a liar to tell you that I'd never think about the future, what might happen. I think that's probably normal, but I don't dwell on it. And that's the difference. I used to dwell on it, but I would have continued to dwell on it if I never started talking about it. I've seen what it can do when you talk about it, and it honestly it helps me just as much as it might help somebody else to hear it. It helps me just as much to talk about it as it might to be to hear it. So, I would always encourage people to tell their testimony because you never know who it can impact. And having that feeling of you helping somebody else is one of the best feelings in the world. That's why let me ask you in those moments when you start to worry and you feel yourself starting to slip into that place of just constantly dwelling what do you so what do you do in those type of moments right just practically speaking to shift your mindset and pull out of that. that. that. Yeah. So, it should it's going to sound a pastoral answer, but it's completely biblical and it's been the only way that I can find to actually win the war in your mind is what I call it. there's a great book out by Craig Rochelle. I would highly recommend anybody read that book. But that's really what it is. Life is about the war in your mind. All of worrying, anxious thought, depression, that all happens in your head, right? So, I can't remember what verse it is, but it talks about taking your thoughts captive. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, I what I try to do is when I find myself going down that rabbit trail of worry because it happens really quick and it happens really fast, right? You worry about one thing and then that thought worry leads to another and then another and then before it, you're worried about what's going to happen in your life 20 years from now. Yeah. so, it's important to grab it right then and there at the very beginning. But when I find myself starting to worry, I grab the thought and I reflect it to scripture. Is this scriptural? Is this going to align with what the word of God says? And if not, I'm going to replace it with something that is. So when I worry about, how I'm going to possibly a big one for me is interaction with my kids. is I as my disease gets worse, they become more mobile, I get more weak, that's one thing that I won't say I worry about constantly. It's always there, but I don't let it affect me like it used to. but would be that really me being a good father doesn't reflect of what I can do with them. If I train them up the way that they're supposed to be trained in going to church and teach them about God, that is all I'm not worried about what the world how the world says I am as a father. I'm worried about what God says, how I did as being a father because they're not my children. They're his children. I've just been given the opportunity to raise them here as their earthly father. So is just going back to perspective what God says I am, not what the world says that I am. Yeah. So you're not suggesting to people that facing challenges or actual concerns that they run and stick their head in the sand but it's getting to that place where that illustration that you used right you said worry is just that it's worry concern is something I can take action about. So you're acknowledging the challenges but you're at a place where you're not allowing it to dominate control your thoughts and ultimately your life. Yep. when I ran like back when I was 15, 16 years old, I didn't confront them and that's what led to me doing drugs, drinking, partying because I didn't want to face the reality of, what my future might look like. like. like. So that's what it led to. But now I have to take those thoughts captive and submit them to Christ. Yeah. I have to make them bend and form to what God's word says, not to these lies that, Satan's put in our head. That's how he works. It's always been lies. It's all ever since the beginning of time when at the fall of humankind that in the first chapter of Genesis it started with a lie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it's all lies and if it's something you're not or I was just reading a book. It says if it starts with you. So if you were thinking you aren't good enough that's not from God. That's coming from the devil because that's coming from a perspective of somebody asking you that question. Yeah. And if it doesn't align with God's will and his word, then it's not from him. And you just have to take it captive. And it's a lot easier to say than it is to do. And it takes time. And it really one of those things you have to practice on. on. on. it doesn't come naturally. Like it's natural for people to worry these days. The news, if you watch the news, it makes you worry. If you're on social media, it makes you worry. We are so geared to worry about stupid stuff really, man. just dumb stuff like who the next president's going to be and what's going on down the street and how much eggs are and all of this stuff. Man, I quit watching the news so long ago because it's just geared to make you worry. worry. worry. When I started being able to I'm not going to say I've won the war in my mind because it's ongoing course. But when I started seeing the shift and I'm I'm winning battles. I might not win every single battle, but I've started winning battles is when I started digging into the word of God and reading constantly on a day-to-day basis because my head is filled with the truth. Not the lies of this world, but the truth. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. if we don't take those thoughts captive, eventually the thoughts are going to take us captive, right? and that's there's it's a they're one way or the other. And that worry, ends up leading to us trying to deal with him through, like you mentioned, drugs, alcohol. I've been down that road before. And, that stuff numbs the pain for a moment, but then it ends up coming back 10 times worse. It seems like afterwards, you start to deal with all the shame and the guilt and the choices made to try to numb those thoughts and numb that pain. And when the answer and the antidote is right there in the word of God and replacing those lies with the truth and a lot of times it's not even that Satan you just my perspective is that a lot of times he doesn't even he doesn't ever try to stress us out over things that are blatantly false. he takes very real concerns and then uses those, to begin to deal with the door and that's where it starts to go down the rabbit hole like right now simply how expensive are eggs or crap. What am I going to do for money? Am I haven't got a raise in so many times and then we start making decisions like putting things on credit cards and compounding debt and it all just compounds all over one little thought. That was true. Eggs are freaking expensive, and I wish they'd be cheaper, but yeah, it one step at a time, like when Samson went and slept with Delilah, he had to walk. It was something like I heard a pastor say it was like 50,000 steps. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it's how did you get to where you are today? One step at a time. Samson didn't sleep with Elila until he took 50,000 steps in the wrong direction. direction. direction. Really? Really? Really? And it start with a thought. Scripture there too says something. There's something in that passage where I think it says he she lulled him to sleep and hearing that and just mean that is so so indicative my mind hold on let me pause that is so descriptive of how the enemy works he just lulls us to sleep slowly and I've heard somebody preach a sermon before on sleeping with Delila or something like that something to that effect and yeah it's it's good it's stuff like you said it he doesn't put these crazy thoughts that blatantly false in your mind. It's little one by one, step by step, little thoughts here and there and then like you said, they compound and then before it, if you tell yourself a lie enough, it becomes true to you. Like one lie believed, one lie, what is it? What is it saying? One lie told too many times becomes true to the person that said it or something along those lines. But there's a lot of truth behind that, man. Is if you believe if you tell yourself a lie, if you let Satan tell you a lie and you believe it enough, you're going to live your life as if that lie is actually true. true. true. So Carter, what do you have going on here in the near future? Are you on are I think you're heading to Texas, right, to speak? Yeah, man. So May, what is it? May 7th. May 7th and 8th, I'll I'll be speaking at a conference in Texas called Car Church Conference. It started, it started off with being as a conference for people in the car business, connecting the car business with the church. but I think it's bled out a little bit outside of the car business. But going to Austin, Texas, to speak there just to give my testimony what I've learned, what I've gone through, and ultimately, what Christ has done for me and what he can do for anybody else. man really is my goal in life is I always I like to use the term I want to be a modern day Barnabas, right? being an encourager to bring hope and encourage people that might be going through a tough time. but I'm I'll be doing that and really after that, man, I don't have anything else on the schedule as of now, but I that is what my p I have a passion for and I feel called to just tell my story. So every chance that I get, I will do it just like me and you tonight. I would do this three times a week if you'd have me, man, because this is, this is what I feel called to. is really just telling my story, what I've learned, and how it might help somebody else. And I don't try to change people's hearts. That is not my goal, man. My goal is, Christ to speak through me. It'd be his words because he's the only he's the real heart changer. So, really just I want to write a book. I've been trying to figure out time to do that. that. that. 44 pages done already. what I'm saying? That's what everybody already says. They're "Man, you're like halfway there." there." there." Yeah, man. Yeah, for sure. He ain't got that much further to go. So, yeah. Yeah, man. That'd be incredible. Where can people find you? Is Facebook the best way? And I'll put the link below. Yeah. Yeah, Facebook. I have a YouTube page. I'm not on there a whole lot. is I've starting to build tried to build a a ministry I guess you would call it. I've only, I spoke for the very first time last August. So I've only been doing this for eight months or so. I've spoken three, four, five, seven or eight times since then. But continuing to try to build that up. But yeah, Facebook would definitely be the best way to follow me. Just Carter Morris. yeah, yeah, yeah, but I can probably figure out a way to link it on here. Yeah, I'll drop the link. I'll put the link down in the description box for anybody that's watching that wants to click through and check Carter out. And man, I appreciate and I messages too, man. If people I love when people message me and have questions or, need advice or if I can just be of encouragement, I definitely reply to messages and I'm working on that. my response times go from a half a second to two and a half days. So, but I know how that go happens, man. You click into it trying to respond and then something happens and you forget. And there and then there's this weird thing that happens in the brain like when I click in and I think I responded, I didn't quite finish. I never hit send. But somewhere I like check that box off in my brain and it's the worst. And so I'm I'm that way with text messaging, man. If I click into it and I don't reply right then and there, you're not getting a reply. Yeah, I've done better leaving them on unread now going forward until I'm actually ready to respond. Yeah. Yep. I should be I should do that, but it'll happen all the time. Well, I appreciate it, man. I appreciate you jumping on tonight and just share sharing, parts of your story. Obviously, I know it's a whole life right there and not being everything in 45 minutes, but and just bringing some hope and encouragement to people. And I love that I want to be a Barnabas. I want to be an encourager. And I think the reality is we need more in that world there. But there are times to pick apart and debate some of the evils of the world and all that stuff. But I think that in the middle of it all, you as Christians, I think God has called us to be voices of encouragement, to one another to build each other up in this most holy faith as the scripture talk about, on showing that joy, patience, gentleness, kindness, all that stuff the fruits of the spirit that the scripture speaks about and just speaking life into people, and there's there's a lot of suffering, a lot of hardship that I think people are facing and being able to be that source of joy. Okay. Is certainly a phenomenal thing and absolutely and at all you're pointing people back to Jesus. And so for people that are watching this evening that are watching today that may come across this if you're considering having somebody out to your feet. I'm a local church pastor. I brought Carter out gave in the pulpit while I was out of town. Wasn't even there to stare over the shoulder. And so it's a lot to say that you trust somebody to come and speak to your church. And man I for I can vouch for him. He's spoken at his home church bridge. and he's just a solid standup guy. So if you're interested in having him out, please I know he didn't come on here for me to do all the promotion of him. That wasn't his motive at all. It was the story, but I'm going to do it at the end. So yeah, you click those links below and connect with him. Well, Carter, I really appreciate it, man. thank you for taking the time. Do you have any parting words as we wrap up? up? up? Man, I just appreciate you having me on here, man. It was an honor and thank you for letting me come speak at your church a couple months back.