Ministry Isn’t Easy. Here’s What It’s Really Like

it's nice to be able to jump on here again and have another conversation I think we were chatting for a few minutes before on the topic and what we were gonna discuss today and really talking about the reality of our homes and how our home life as followers of Christ often on number one it's got to be our priority next to our relationship with God right but then how you mentioned earlier how the home life starts to Ripple off and affect everything else right and so if the home is out of balance or out of whack then we become ineffective or we get short with other people or whatnot and it just makes sense because those relationships that are closest to us when they're not getting the attention they need the attention they deserve then we feel it we're obviously not happy with it and then that starts impacting how we communicate and how we address other people and ultimately going back to what we talked about two weeks ago the testimony can begin to affect our witness like my personal opinion I don't think there's much more of a powerful witness than a saw Christian Home in today's culture where Mom and Dad are both pursuing Jesus the children are being raised up and the admonition of the Lord they're being trained and just a stable solid Christian home is such an effective witness to a world that has really just discounted and pushed aside the importance of family in marriage and commitment in today's culture so that's my lead-in man why don't you share a few of your thoughts and where the Lord you on this topic it's it's it really began to like stare within me just recently guys I had that privilege and honor to go to a sales training event and generally when you go to a sales training event you're going to get tools on sales but it's awesome when you go to a sales training event and it's a body of Believers not all but the man that and the woman that ran it it just struck me because I went there with the intentions to get all these great dual objection trainings these a new pitch just a new model for who I was to develop my craft and that I did but the thing that stuck out to me the most is when the wife spoke and she said how important it is to take the time to invest in yourself she became very short with her children she would always yell at her children she never took care of herself so her hair was always in a bun and she realized that in the absence of not being able to take time for herself or put more focus and attention upon her children it caused her to be really short with those around her and she says it wasn't until she really broke away and took time for herself and realized that hey look I can no longer live this way that I need to make change because if I don't it's only going to get worse and it's when she did that her children began to see her in a different light and it was amazing because it's like I think about Jesus when he was with his disciples and he told them to meet them on the other side and he breaks away and he goes to have his prayer right and then Peter and the disciples see him walking on the water and they thought it was a ghost if he will right he was in a different perspective a Different Light because he poured into himself he took the time because he understood how much people can drain him and how people can drain us if you will that he needed to spend that quality time with the father yeah I think prayer is such an important thing that has been absent within the body of Christ we fixate so much of our attention on Miracle signs wonders movements bringing in members all these other things but quite frankly in the old times you had people that were before the Lord praying on diligently seeking God on the behalf of not only their own home but on the behalf of others yeah and so this connection that you get with God is fuel right and people have heard this illustration before but if I have a cell phone and it has no battery I need it to be charged right so without the charge of my phone is useless and I think we as a people are really useless in order to reach and do to follow through with the Great Commission if we're not being fueled if we're not being charged and so you and I know a brother named Chuck and I love this guy and I'm going to get back on board with him shortly but I remember when he told me that his mentorship classes cost x amount of dollars and I was like I'm not spending this money I'm that's too much like that doesn't like that's ridiculous like I don't have that money and I took a leap of faith and put out all this money to get coached by this individual right and as I was coached by him what he taught me was more valuable than what I spent yeah for the services that he provided me with and I think often at times we're not willing to break away and do things because we're like oh it's it's going to come with the cost and so we look at the costs and we say ah can't do that like this is more important it's like no the cost is something that you have to realize is necessary to get the result that you want but we're often unwilling to make that sacrifice and when we make that sacrifice what the Harvest we yield from it is extraordinary man and so like I'm seeing such a shift in a change in the culture within my own home because of the simple fact that I'm now taking the time to invest in myself but also pushing my wife to do the same yeah there's a lot there right but like that whole idea of margin on man we were just talking about that speaking of coaching we were talking about that in the coaching call this week was really the idea of margin and having margin and all the different areas of your life and that's something that I've been working on they challenged us to rewrite our schedules and actually schedule in white space on our calendar and I think we live in a time where we're so busy we're so consumed all the time that it's very difficult to to really have time for ourselves because we're running everywhere and you think about that as even just a even going from single Hood to marriage to adding children and then it's real it's easier when the kids are younger before they get engaged in all these different activities but then when they start to get engaged in different activities like the calendar starts filling up really quick right and then you add in work you add in church responsibilities and then trying to make time for yourself but then also adding in that other layer of making time intentional time to spend with your spouse or intentional time to spend with your kids separately that margin starts to whittle Away really quickly and so one of the things they he challenged us to do in our coaching call the last two weeks is on schedule the white space in first and then work backwards so that there is reverse engineering and it's really the idea of he talked about a book a business book called profit first where it talks about that concept of paying yourself first but the same idea with your time setting your time setting your boundaries and your personal time first and then filling in the work with the hours you've got left and I redid my entire schedule after that call really just to try to find margin and find balance and know okay if I'm on with my family right we go to a job like I haven't punched in an actual job in a while but when you go you're on the clock and your time belongs to them and right we don't push back on that I wonder how our relationships and our life and our family would change if we consider it the same way like when I'm on I'm punched in I'm there with them and I can't Rob them of this time just like going to work and doing other things other than work is robbing from our employers because we're getting paid for their time like it's the same concept with our family when we're with them we're on but we're not present right and that's I tried to work on man because I'm hyper connected all the time and yeah and I have a tendency to be in my phone like my device usage is one of those things man that I really I'm really trying to grow and get better on well the thing is man like as a hearing you speak and I'm gonna just speak for myself because this is a personal reality for me when I begin to be quote unquote present but not or I'm I'm in the vicinity of wherever my family is or from my workplace but I'm not present it's because I'm running from something and I think often at times when I begin to fill in the space the white space with extra things that are quite honestly not really important or phone time and like just scrolling in between doors on shorts through YouTube or whatever it is because I'm trying to escape from something or run from something that I'm unwilling to deal with and I think often at times those things that we need to deal with are only going to be addressed when we learn to take time with God because God is a person that we're to come to you that's why he says in his word be anxious for nothing yet by prayer and supplication with Thanksgiving make your request known unto him cast your cares upon the Lord for he cares for you but what do we try to In Our Own Strength handle everything on our own yeah and God's like hey look let me tell you something your spirit wants you to do this but your flesh is weak and so we side with the flesh because we've taken away from the spiritual aspect of everything which is learning to pray greeting our word right but we have time to take the kids to sports we have time to do all these other things but like you were saying earlier reverse engineering but if we put God first seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all things will be out of unto you the pressure of life will be taken off your shoulders and you will begin to live freely and people will see you not as they see you but as they see Christ and so it no longer becomes this oh that's Robin's it's like man Rob you're different what is that like you're glowing today because you took the time to spend with Christ yeah you took the time to spend with God you invested in yourself first and so we are a people that we use the word it's like don't be selfish it's like what you actually have to be a little selfish in this world yeah in that regard we have to be selfless but I think being selfless requires being selfish yeah what goes back to that place of like we can't give what we don't have to give right and so everything that we have as a worker Grace obviously from the cross and from that perspective but like if our tank is Running on Empty then we've got nothing to pour out to other people and a lot of times I think I I can't speak for myself personally like I don't tend to learn that until I get on the other end to burn out right and so I feel like I'm at the end of my road and I feel like I've just run so hard and run so consistently and my tank ends up getting empty because I think that I'm Superman at times like I don't want to pause and ask for help and right there's that struggle too of like who do you be vulnerable with we've we've had several conversations about that ability to be vulnerable and just say hey I'm I'm running out of energy right now and I need you take time and pause and really refill that tank that's why the scripture talks about the Sabbath so much and it's Sabbath was made for the man not man for the Sabbath but that whole concept of sabbathing and resting was necessary that's why weekly even with the crop rotations giving the ground time to re repurpose itself if you will so that it can plant so it can rest and more crops can grow in the future and I think that's something that we really have a hard time with and I really I am not I'm not anti-social media obviously I'm the last one to criticize social media usage right but like man it's it's it runs our anxiety through the roof because we're always connected to anything and everything and I think sometimes there's even these expectations like just because we're connected on social media like doesn't mean I see everything going on in your life and I may not acknowledge it because sometimes I think we throw something out there especially on social and like expect that everybody saw it but really not many people saw it but then we get frustrated when they don't mention it and that's just one example of how this hyper-connected Nature has really just impacted anxiety it's like well did they see it do they like it do they care about what's going on in my life and I just don't think we were made made to have that much connectivity I don't know yeah man well the thing is that it all boils down to saying the word no yeah this is going to be one of the hardest things and I was confronted by my wife last night so this is me being transparent and vulnerable with you guys but I was sharing with my wife some of My Success from the day and I said hey babe I closed the deal she's like gave me like some affirmations some exhortation and then I shared with her that I closed another deal and she just responded with some nice and so when I came home I was like man like there's some like me I've been married to her going on eight years now and like I know my wife in and out right and so I was like man there's something wrong I was like hey is everything okay I was like our thing is do you still love me like we just just say that to each other and she's like yeah I always love you and but the way that she said it allowed me to realize that there was something going on and so what I didn't realize is that I have been doing something right I do my best and I'm not knocking on any men out there that don't do this but I do my best to help my wife in every aspect whether it's doing laundry cleaning doing the dishes cleaning the house making sure that there's less pressure for her throughout her day in her week and so when we've moved and transitioned into our new place for the last two weeks she's put together our whole spot man like she's unpop unpacked all the boxes organized put made the house a home and I really didn't have any involvement in any of that because I know that if I start putting things away she's gonna have this oh this just that's I don't want that there I want this over here but rather than me asking hey and being taking put the front foot forward and saying hey where would you like me to put these things for you and then not doing anything at all it caused her to feel like hey like what's going on like you used to help me here now you're not helping me in this area of my life anymore and so we had this hard conversation and it just allowed me to realize because sometimes we don't even realize what it is that we're doing and so this leads me and I'm bringing this back in with the word no but it I began to fill my blocks and my days with things that I wouldn't normally fill my blocks in days with yeah and it's because I was trying to be the people pleaser and never say no and so sometimes you have to learn to say no since evil because what it does is it bleeds into other areas of your life which causes you to compromise yeah and so we're so fixated and focused on worrying about what other people say through the connectivity that you were just talking about that we've neglected our home yeah saying no is like it's a faith exercise it's an exercise in Phase because like right if I'm not doing it then who's doing it and that means I have to trust that God's gonna do it Psalms 46 right be still and know that I'm God it's that idea of like I If I say no and I think sometimes that's where I struggle it's like I said it earlier like I want to take it in my own hands and that exercise of trust and faith like knowing that if I'm not out there hustling or whatever doing what I need to do to keep the the lights on and the bills paid and make sure that we're setting ourselves up for the future and I put that margin in my life like I've got to trust that God's going to provide and that is difficult at times for sure it's funny though man because you think about that and anybody that's listening I want you to honestly really Ponder this because I had a I've been in on this Earth for 34 years going on 35 come January and when I think about it even in my addiction and homelessness I was never without yeah I always had the majority of my life I didn't know the Lord and He provided whether it was through the Guardians in my life whether it was through friends that I had whether it was through a program that I was in no matter where I was there was people in my sphere of influence that took care of me only because of the grace of God that's right and so we look at our lives and we forget everything that we've been through because we look at our present circumstance and situation as if it's going to be the end of the world and God is saying look I need you to take a second and break away from society because Society is robbing you from fixating your eyes on me yeah Isaiah 26 3 says he keeps those in perfect peace whose mind this stayed on him that's right and so when we learn to redirect our attention and our focus on God and we invest in him as he is invested in Us by giving us a helper the pair of cleaves the Holy Spirit then we lean in and we abide we rest as you mentioned and he rest in us and so therefore we become one he Cod that's what he had designed us for he designed us to be one right not separate but one we separated ourselves from him through our sinful nature and actions but he said hey look I'm gonna send you my son and he is going to take on your burdens he's going to do the things that he needs to do so that he can bring you back into Covenant relationship with me and so relationship is built over time but what we've done is we've taken the benefits of relationships and a lot of y'all are hearing this right now because you guys want the benefit from your friendship but you don't want to invest in your friendship right yeah and so it's like what can I get from you to help exalt me in my season of life and then when you need me or when I need you vice versa then it's like oh what you just treat me like I'm some ATM machine and you have not deposited anything in return and so God is like hey look I love you and I'm gonna be there for you but you're not going to treat me like an ATM machine yeah I'm your father I want a relationship with you and so I've I've neglected that we've neglected that Which Intel has caused us to have a chaotic home and that bleeds out to society when Society sees that they don't see the image of God they see the image of man and God does not want Society to see the image of man but the image of God because that's what we created by and so when we get control of our home that's when I believe Justin that things begin to change in the world around us yeah it's crazy the whole idea of Friendship with God he entered into a friendship relationship with us now and we had nothing to give in return came as a bond serve it laid his life down but just we had nothing to bring to the equation right and he chose to invest in not only poor encouragement in his words and all that but lay his life down right absolutely no greater love have man than this that he would lay down his life for a friend and and you just think about that man like and spending time with that person that's willing to lay their life down we'll spend time with a lot of people for whatever different reasons and they haven't done a fraction of what Christ has already done for us because it's not tangible right yeah no it's a spiritual yeah well the thing is we're we are an emotionally LED body yeah everything's about oh it doesn't make me feel oh God I want you so if I go to church and worship playing if the song Don't make me feel good that doesn't mean that it's not good worship that's another one because worship's not about you right it was never intended to be about you and so what we've done is we've equated Christianity with the way it makes us feel and how it makes us move and if you're if you're gonna allow Christianity to sway you in that direction hey bro you're in the wrong you're doing the wrong thing like so it took me some time to understand that because let's be honest we're both married and we can both say this and I'll say this out loud and clearly my wife already knows this there's times when I don't love the things that she does but doesn't mean I don't love my wife right what and so like it's it's not about how she because she doesn't always make me feel a certain way but that does not disregard my love for my life right and so sometimes God has to shift us he has to position us and in him positioning us we need to learn to understand the season of life that we're in yeah and I said something very powerful to my wife the other day I said what babe we missed something so clear and crucial within our lives and understanding that what we're going through presently is what's to come in the future like it's it's all preparation that's right everything's preparation yeah but what we see is we see this is like the end it's like oh my gosh crap and I'm sick or I'm this and then we begin to murmur and complain like the Israelites done rather than saying hey look what the promise is coming yeah the promise is coming I've already obtained it because I have the Savior with me yeah we've been leaning into that whole conversation around spending more time in prayer and seeking God first it's it's been a matter of focus at the church I preached on prayer this last Sunday I talked about the importance of a powerful prayer life and really moody used the term prevailing prayer and really what that looks like and how we are consistent of seeking God and putting him first in every area of our life and really trusting him not just to do the work but realizing that prayer is the word right there are so many Ministry efforts and systems and projects and things that we can put in place to church and there's time for all that I am I love to teach out on that stuff I think that's that's phenomenal but like if prayer is not at the foundation then anything built on top is shaky it's right it's trust in God obviously everything's built on the word but we come to the Lord first and ask his guidance and one of the things I mentioned on Sunday was that like sometimes I have this tendency to get an idea or put a plan together and like perceive or say that it may be God but really melted him first and so then I asked him in on it afterwards right instead of asking his Blessing on it beforehand and I've been guilty of that many times in my life like whether it's eagerness or Zeal or wanting to move the ball down the field quicker than maybe God is ready to move the ball down the field and so I almost get out ahead of God rather than just staying in his shadow and staying behind him and that's something we're just addressing at the church we did a meeting two weeks ago after church on Sunday and a bunch of a group of people that are going to be committed to praying and really interceding on behalf of the church on the lady that's leading it she's been on a couple of our live streams shipo she on she spoke and led the meeting she said hey I just feel like the Lord wants us this all to repent first for not making prayer a priority and it was probably one of the most beautiful prayer times that I've been a part of in a long time as everybody just went around the table and we corporately repented and individually repented for having Martha like attitudes rather than being like Mary for wanting to be busy and wanting to do our duty with the lack of devotion what is what do they say Duty without devotion is empty and I think sometimes that's our priority in life a lot of times we get we just get so busy and like God is saying if you'll spend time with me you'll put that margin and engage with me first then I'm gonna give you the strategy on where everything else right and then all of these things will be added and so we end up in that place where our homes are out of order because ultimately we only lead underneath of his leadership right in Authority but under Authority and Jesus admonished what was it the Centurion for that for his great faith because he was able to be was it the sensorian did I get that right yeah because he was in Authority but also on your Authority and that's where I'm trying to live man it's like I can always make more money like I've got very limited time even with my kids in this age that they're in and like looking at the world and understanding I think that's the thing Rob and I'm gonna try like I'm I'm gonna start crying but like the Lord's been just burdening me with the lost the last couple months like at a whole nother level and you and I both I've given a good portion of my life to helping drug addicts and people with addictions and people who don't know from Christ but like in this season that I'm in where there's like opportunity over here I got this business that I can continue to focus on but yet the Lord's bringing me back to like great I've given you that but how are you going to win souls in the middle of it and that's where I'm at personally right now is just like wading through all that and like what do I do with this burden for the loss that he's given me how am I effective at evangelizing but then also the very real fear of knowing what I experienced in previous seasons of ministry and watching the price that my family had to pay because of the call of God on my life and trying to just balance that out and make sure that ultimately I know God's got me he's got my family and we can still be faithful to this call and on yeah it's it's it's very interesting that you say this because I love how you're tying this in because this is what's also very important to have within the home and something that I learned at that weekend Gathering is having a Clear Vision not just for your home in general but if you're married for your marriage what is the Clear Vision I talked to one of my leaders just the other day and he's like Rob my wife hit me with the hardest question he's like my wife said hey John what's what's the vision and he's like for our marriage and he's like Rob dude I could give you the vision for the business I can give you the vision for all these other things but he's like I couldn't give you a Clear Vision for my marriage he's like it really hit me hard when he heard this and so what's up brother how are you John but it hit him hard and so I say all this to like piggyback on what you were just mentioning about the heart for the lost and being able to pivot away from your business for a season to be able to pursue one of this you believe the lord has laid upon your heart but it's taking that and saying hey my love Ashley this is what I believe the lord has laid upon my heart now as my helper because I know that's what the Lord has this is positioned you in my life as can we come to the Lord together about this matter because I can't do it away or apart from you I need him to move on your heart as well and I think we just like you were saying before unless it's like we act and then we ask God but God is like hey look I'm going to give it to you but I also need to teach you how to cultivate that within your own home what it's like because then you're going in two separate directions yeah because if you're going one way she's going another way it's not going to work it's not going to thrive and I think that's something that I've acknowledged in my own marriage it's like I'm not I don't even really have a clear Target I haven't had a clear Target because I've been so consumed with I gotta make this money I gotta provide for my family and then I had this chat with you the other day and I was just like man dude I know what I'm supposed to be doing I know where I'm gifted but I'm so fearful that the provision from my gift will not be enough for me to be able to continue to live my life because people don't and pastors and ministers and missionaries and God bless them all but they don't don't don't they don't talk about the fact that sometimes you pray for the finances when serving in Ministry and it never comes what I'm saying and I've lived that I've I've seen the cutoff notices come when we hadn't had enough money to pay the power bill at the ministry at times and people want to like paint everything with these rose-colored glasses and it's prosperity and everything's growing and it's good but people don't talk about the real struggle and sacrifice that comes on the other side of ministry I was looking at some notes I wrote down and I had a note in my iPhone from years ago where I had sat down and I just journaled my thoughts in the moment and we had just finished a Teen Challenge graduation family weekend service and we had a bunch of students graduate that weekend and I wrote in the notes I said I'm simultaneously living right in the middle of the joy of watching all these students graduate but also the grief of having to talk to a mom who had just lost their child who pulled their application from the program and we walked in the middle of those emotions for years and then you add the financial stress on top of it so sometimes it's like pursuing the Lord does come at a cost and that's the there's there's no sugar coating that there's no way to make it more appealing or more fancy than it is there is a real sacrifice and there's a real cost to serving in Ministry and pursuing the call of God on your life and sometimes that's not pretty and I think that's where I've had to work on the last three and a half years since coming out of Teen Challenge my experience is there where my experience is there that doesn't necessarily mean I'm going to experience that in the next season of ministry so Lord help me to have learned from that but put it behind me and know that it matured me so that I don't project that onto the next season of ministry because it could look different but that's why we wrestle with it and we know we want to work and we want to go so hard and yes we seek God we trust God and there are a lot of faithful good ministers out there and I've heard all these quotes where the provision always comes with a vision what I'm saying we're God guides he provides sometimes that guiding is to a place of suffering and hardship right and it's not always a big check on the other end of it and so these little antidotal statements that we throw out to try to get people motivated there is a cost to picking up the cross and following Jesus and man I just I struggle with that sometimes and I can't sugarcoat it that it's it's difficult and only by the grace of God will I continue to be faithful because Justin is running from it at any opportunity but because of the grace of God and the work that he's done in me I only am able to endure because of what he's put in me not because of anything in myself yeah I wasn't so good we go there man that was a lot of vulnerability here on social media so y'all well it's it's funny man because like that brings me back to when Danielle and I first got back or first got married and we moved to Florida when we left Shenandoah Valley Teen Challenge and we were living in my mom's house the firstborn Josiah and a gentleman by the name of Chris France he was a missionary he still was a missionary wonderful man of God and he is in Ethiopia maybe 10 times out of the year and are 10 months out of the year and so simply put he I wanted to work with him and it was so challenging because he's like hey Rob I could only give you ten dollars an hour and you have to like raise the rest of your money and I'm like in my mind I'm like oh that's not possible like I'm just married like I have a kid like what am I gonna do like I would have to like it was just everything in me wanted to go and just do it but the fear of the unknown robbed me from the opportunity to be a vessel used by God yeah and so I look back at that quite often and I'm not mad with where I'm at in my life because I'm the Lord has definitely blessed me in many different ways but sometimes man sometimes I ask myself and I say Lord forgive me for not being obedient yeah because it's sometimes God's calling us to something and there's so much of us that gets involved the feeling the emotion but if we can just say yes Lord yeah that's good and so I've realized when I am absent from God and I don't invest in my time with God I cannot offer a gift to others what he has truly offered and given unto me yeah and I don't want to be unfair or not unpack the whole suffering piece and the following yeah because either the Bible says you are the joy that was set before him right and I was listening to a guy talk the other night he oversees ministers and he one of the missionary groups that he's with they talk one of their core values is understanding the joy that comes in the suffering that there is joy is not an option there's a joy in that and right and I do reflect back on some of those Seasons where things were the hardest and I would engage with folks that were either serving alongside of us and we were having the time of our life in the middle some of our most difficult days and I think that's part of where we Embrace suffering could come but know that God is going to provide joy in the middle of that ultimately he's not going to leave us begging for Brad but he also Tim Timberlake I was at the Men's Conference at Lynchburg and Liberty a couple months ago and he shared the quote God will give you the mountain but he's never going to spare you the climb he's not going to spare you this time that sometimes we're praying for God to move mountains that he wants us to climb up and and man I know that I don't want to gloss over what you just said about questioning and wondering like what would God have done but I think there's another Mountain for you to climb well the thing is it and this is where I pedal back and I just say well that's the sovereignty of God right God is sovereign he knows everything yeah and James says that we would be perfect and complete lacking nothing that we're perfect there it's it's the Greek word for mature it's not perfect but it's to be mature and so God is maturing us he's grooming us he's he's preparing us right for what is to come because he knows that we can't come the way that we are we have to be transformed daily right and that's what I love about Paul he says even though we're crushed and perplexed he's like the reflection we're not crushed right he says he says this light momentary Affliction is preparing for us the Eternal Word Of Glory yeah and I've had to reconcile Rob too with the fact like I didn't want to leave TC four years ago like I could have I had many moments where I sat down and pondered doing that work my entire life because I was 20 21 years old when I got involved with it and I'm like man what would it look like to do a single work my entire life and I thought about that a lot and even though like I struggled walking away I realized in Seasons that there are things that I want to pursue that I've got to be willing to lay down on the Altar for the sake of what's best for my family and that's not easy to do but at that time what we needed was a reprieve a break from the pace of that work and I needed to go out and go work in Sling chicken like went to a fast food restaurant black man's dream sorry all right but yeah so true this is such a setup like what do I say that's the story of our life guys just so yes no I get it man I hear you and so man that part of that though right like being willing to go and just do that for a season and get our house in order and going back to what we originally got on this call talking about and then seeing where yeah John said I'm pretty sure that was racial LOL yes so just to be clear I did not say it I am not guilty of this one so yeah man yo this is good I think it's just I want to just challenge people right like I want a challenge and listeners the viewers whoever does get to listen to this at a later time to break away right Justin said it earlier fill in the white blocks of your schedule first and make sure that you're intentional be present if you're at home with your kids be present with your kids if you're at work be present at work if you're on vacation be present on vacation but don't try to consume or don't try to fill in other things with what you're doing right like it's just you miss everything in life you miss opportunities Point Blank period right because you're you're so fixated on things that are outside of your control we say this in our cell industry control what you can control right focus on the input and not on the outcome right so it's not about how many deals I close it's like if I stick to my hours if I do what I'm supposed to do everything else will follow if you follow Christ if you read your word if you pray you do what he's called you to do everything else will come naturally it's just it's instinctly it's because it's your make sure it's who you are it's who you were designed to be yeah absolutely yeah man I think my attention right now just in all of this is just like that secret place time really putting prayer at the foundation in my life and trying to figure out what it really means to pray without ceasing like really trying to grasp that and and then just trust on the other side of it like I'm with you like I can do business I can do the editing I can I can do marketing for people and those are gifts that the Lord's given me and I'm grateful for them and I'll use them but like I also know the call not everybody's called to be a five-fold minister like I was and so I'm trying to like really stay faithful to that and it's not easy what I'm saying like a last year of our life was just tough man just and not even like attack failure or anything like that but just the difficulty of what we've walked through with the newborn and all of that and I don't want to share too many of those details because I just can't talk about it publicly yet but like yeah trying to sort through all that and just know that like the gifts are calling from God or without repentance they're irrevocable and that thing is on me and I'm trying to be faithful to it the best I can on and hope that all of the rest of it's going to work out so right obviously leading the home first right I know that but like there if Jeremiah said there's a fire shut up in my bones and like dude when I Don't Preach for weeks like I feel it like what I'm saying and I don't know how else to describe that I just feel like there's this release that I've got to let out if I and if I don't do it then like I start to lose my mind when I went almost a year without preaching without Ministry a while now we did some one-on-one stuff of course I was engaging in relationships but the specific work of delivering a sermon and speaking that evangelizing pastoring in that context when I don't do it I start to lose my mind right and yeah sounds good man maybe we should move to like Wisconsin and start like a TC program together in the middle of the countries Wisconsin halfway where is that it's funny dude it's probably an offline thought but I was just saying man like our friendship and like what we've done together we're doing these weekly podcasts I'm like dude I either need to move to Virginia or you need to move to California bro we're just in the middle you can meet in Iowa how about Akron Ohio sounds good yeah LeBron James is that where he's from Lanes is that what they call LeBron James I heard that somewhere I don't even watch basketball like I don't know yeah but yeah man Texas good dude Texas is a good State John that's they got low taxes right now everybody's moving there right things big and big into yeah home of the mega church we could plant a mega church let's do it well man I appreciate the time today I am it's been fun I didn't plan on dude yeah I got a little more vulnerable than I plan doing on this one but I think we both did yeah so it happens dude like I think it's good stuff man but the moral of everything the goal of everything is just to take that time away with God yeah your whole your home is the garden your home is the gardener and I the Lord's Prayer right like and I'm sorry because I'm I'm so winded with things and like thoughts and ideas are just coming I gotta say it but I'm reading a book called Grace ambassadors right my lord gave me this Revelation a long time ago but when it says it's only in the King James version it says that thy kingdom come in Earth as it is in heaven God made Man Out of the Dust of the Earth right so if he wants his kingdom to come in Earth we are his Temple right we embody the Holy Spirit his kingdom needs to be established in US before it could ever be given to others because Grace ambassadors he has to teach us his ways right and so therefore the only way to have that Kingdom established in US is through intimacy with the Lord that's why he had to tear the veil yeah for us to have access so now that we have access to the father we have looked at the ability to come to him as something that's not even attractive anymore but before we wanted to do it and we couldn't now that we have the ability to do it we don't yeah because we've missed the value yeah that's good and so let God's kingdom be established in you take full control take full advantage of entering into the secret holy of holies and dwell in the presence of the Lord and let him speak to your heart concerning the issues of life and where he wants you to go yeah that's good yeah I think there's like this on going back to the vulnerability piece for a second just because it's a squirrel brain again I think there's like there's just movement happening in a lot of people in the body of Christ that were just we're just tired of having to like play the Masquerade like man and I and that doesn't even necessarily mean that it's like covering up some deep crazy sin like there are qualifications to Ministry but it's just like I'm just I'm I think a lot of us are just tired of having to live up to other people's expectations of us like and we just want to live confidently in who we are in God know that we're living Our Lives to please the Lord first and I'm seeing it in a lot of ministry leaders that are just like I heard Judah Smith preach a message just the other day he talked in the whole sermon was called it's just me like I'm a broken vessel I'm a pot of clay and the treasure is in this Earthen vessel which is broken is fragile it's just me it was the whole context it was such a powerful sermon and just seeing his vulnerability as a former mega church pastor in such a well-known speaker and individual and people have issues with geology whatever but the humility and just the honestness and honesty and even Tim Ross we both listen to him a lot if y'all enjoyed this throw a like a thumbs up comment thanks John Josh and others share it I don't do a whole do good talking about this a lot but appreciate y'all jumping on there's gonna be more conversations coming with Rob and then even I've got some other interviews also so I appreciate y'all following along and engaging let's go and everything it's been good have a great day