The Habits That Keep Me Sober AND Spiritually Strong

Well, I was rushing this morning and I didn't have time to read. And I really think that is like part of the reason why we get sucked into chaos is because we don't have nothing. We're not grounded in anything. So, she would say it's that process in the morning of praying, greed, really moral breed, grabbing a hold of the truth that is almost like that grounding, right? Yeah. Rubber tires in the car that keeps you from getting shot by the lightning bolt. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's good. I It's interesting, man, because I know the value of morning routines. I'm just not a morning person. Yeah. Do like I And don't get me wrong, I'm not irresponsible. Like if I need to get up every morning, like I can do it, to that degree. But like but there are some things that I' I've added in to the daily routine at least. Right. So if it's not first thing in the morning, I remember TC they used to have us pray on our knees. Yep. at 5:45 every morning. Yeah. And dude, I You haven't even let me have coffee yet. Yep. And you want me like I learned how to sleep. Yep. In the prayer. Oh, yeah. Me, too. I mastered that. And so, and so I've learned, man, like I try to like my morning routine, like my morning prayer for instance, usually happens when I'm in the car on the way somewhere. Yeah. So like where do you see the difference between I guess daily habits versus the necessity of like I need to do this every morning at this time. what I'm saying? Like how balance that. I really think it's a need more so. but I do need to make it a habit too because once I start making that habit and making it more normal, it's like routine. I'mma do it every I'm gonna do it every day whether or not I want to or I need to. But I really do need to. That's good. I like what you said earlier though about digging into the word and how it like it grounds your day or doesn't ground your day and you get into that truth and like what I think about when I hear that is that like it getting into the word helps me set the intention for the day. Yep. And that's the difference, right? Like if I set the intention for my day, I there was a guy that I was following as podcaster that talked about how he creates a power list every morning. Yeah. And his power list is literally just three things. Oh wow. He's an entrepreneur, business owner, but he puts three major goals to or just simple goals to accomplish on his power list and that's how he starts his day really. And the mindset is that a lot of people we try to do too much. Yep. And so we set our intention to do so much and then we end up overwhelming ourselves with doing nothing. Y and he said my power list if I do three things a day for 365 days Yeah. how much further along am I going to be than anybody else? That's pretty powerful. It is great example. And I thought that was good, man. Like just setting that intention. Mhm. And you really just Yeah. making that consistent. Yeah. And as Christians, right, we don't just set some power list based off of random things. We set the intention based off of what God says about them. One morning I was getting my coffee and it was a personal conviction of mine and I was man, I got to get coffee before I get Jesus. I was and having that addict mentality is I need coffee so I can operate. And I was well, I'm going to stop drinking coffee before I read. I'm going to read first and then drink coffee. But it was a personal conviction of mine. It reminds us that his mercies are new every morning. Yep. That's where lamentations, right? It says three is you his mercies are new. So we've got the morning locked, right? Mhm. So let's talk about overcoming temptation and staying focused throughout the day. So let's get to this point. We assume, what, great morning. Hit my goals. I hit my habits in the morning. the word of God has been good. but then a distraction just hits in the middle of the day. What would you say some of the biggest distractions or temptations that you face on a day-to-day basis, whether it be at work or hanging out with, relationships or whatever that try to pull you off course? Man, for me, I really think it's like people and what they say in words. attitude like working being a team lead at the job and you deal with all these different people from different walks of life with different attitudes and you try to make them happy but you can't make everybody happy and some people get upset cuz you put them in a certain place and they start yelling at you and like talking bad about you and that can really derail you because you can either do one of two things. You can engage and acknowledge what they said and say something back or you can be "Okay, I'm going to try to fix this. We can how can we make this better?" And sometimes the flesh it's it rises up. And but I noticed that if I'll sit back and think about it for a minute and just assess the whole situation, I'm not I'm more likely just to be calm about it. But acting off of impulse, I'm definitely going to say something I'm going to regret. And so prior to your relationship with Christ, Mhm. what is what's the old pattern that you would have done a moment? Oh man, I would have spoke before I even thought about anything. I wouldn't even had time to hear it. So, but yeah, that's that's probably one of my biggest temptations that I deal with on the daily is just other people's attitudes and it could really make or break you. that is a temptation to get back into the old. So, how do you handle those moments of stress? what do you do? What do you do to reset yourself and not react, right? Yeah. Well, I pray like in the middle. I'll say a quick prayer. I was "Lord, I don't know what's going on, but I trust you or something like that." And usually it helps, but sometimes it's still there in the back of my mind and I think about it. And the more I think about it and I was well, maybe they're having a bad day. Yeah. And it's really not the person cuz we don't battle with flesh and blood. it's the darknesses of this world. But it's still hard because it that feeling when you feel like somebody's got one over on you or embarrassed you or made you look bad. That's that feeling that comes over me when somebody's like they catch an attitude and they start talking all this trash about me. And I was man, do I let this go or do I say something? One of my co-workers at Chick-fil-A, I was a supervisor there. She spoke Spanish and English. Yeah. And whenever I would get under her skin or I'd give her corrections she disagree with, she'd walk off and mumble in Spanish. Yeah. like there's days I wish I could do that. I guess I could speak in tongues, you could, but like But yeah, man, it is. And I think one of the things I struggle with, the patterns, man, the temptation for me is when I'm bored. Yep. Boredom is is my worst enemy. Yeah. Cuz I tend to get in my old thinking patterns and especially like for instance recently we did the Ben Fuller concert. Yeah. And right after like I had a lot of stuff to do and I got sick. I got pneumonia and I was down. I don't get sick very often but this one really hit me sick and I sent her a message. I'm like what? Maybe it's just time to hang all this up. But that was the result of nine days. Yeah. Of being in my thoughts. Wow. Sick. Bored. And so I've noticed with myself, man, like I've got to guard against those paths. Yeah. Cuz we had just come off of a tremendous event. Yep. Huge victory. Yep. And talk about like going as far low as you can on the opposite. That pendulum swinging. Yeah. And that's where I tend to slip into like I still battle with the pressure from time to time. I'm pretty open about that. And I've got a guard against it. And that's that's what that's where my struggles tend to be, man, in the dayto-day is like getting control of this Yeah. up here, ? Right. And another one, too, is like the outside world. It's like watching them do certain things and knowing that you can't engage in stuff like that anymore. it like I think about it from time to time and I was like well it's just going to lead back like fishing and it's not a bad thing but somebody told me that if you do what you've always done you'll get what you always got and everything like most everything that looks good is not good and just watching these people having so-called fun and it does get to me from time to time but I know that I can't I really can't engage in that stuff. And I really I think the main thing is really playing the tape all the way through. see where it's going to lead you. Absolutely. Well, even good things could be triggers. Oh, absolutely. like if fishing was a thing and every time you went fishing in the past, you had a cool little beer. Yeah. and then you go out to do that again, it's it's it's almost muscle memory. Yep. And you don't even think about it, and Yeah. You said playing the tape all the way through. Something I have written down here is on when those thoughts start to come up, learning to change a channel. Yep. that's something when I started caring about what I would watch on TV. So, moving beyond that, right, we talk about daily routine. We've talked about overcoming temptations, recognizing them when they show up. Y but what about growing spiritually, right? So, there's there's one aspect, and I talked about this in chapel a few weeks ago, where a lot of people focus on just if I just don't screw up, Yeah. I'll be okay. Yeah. And so we end up spending all of our time on if I just don't get high, if I just don't do this, instead of like having a mindset that's focused on actively growing. Yeah. Right. And so how do you actively grow? Like how do you grow in your faith, while maintaining your recovery? for me, I would say putting into practice what I read. like I'll pick a scripture most days and I'll try to walk in it. And I learn a lot from the mistakes that I make. And that's what I think that's what really grows my faith is knowing that I'm learning something from the mistakes that I make on the daily. Like sometimes like practicing those scriptures like walking it out, I don't get it right all the time. And but it teaches me a lesson. it grows my faith more and more. But that and helping people. I love helping people. Yeah. Yep. Yeah. I think serving is really vital. That seems to be something for me that's always obviously my prayer time worship you going to church and all that is helpful. But like serving is really big cuz it I think more than just the act of doing Mhm. there's an accountability that comes Yeah. and serving alongside other people. And I think that man I don't know you get to a point where people are depending on you. Yep. And I think that can be a strong motivator like man this feels good. Y like it feels good when people are relying it does and that allows some of that growth in our lives. I I think about accountability a lot and really being connected to people and that's that's another challenge when I get into like leaving Brookside pastoring leaving the community there. Mhm. And then now like Ashley and I are still actively trying to find a church. Yeah. Like we're connected to the community here at the table. Yeah. And we're considering getting involved in home church. We're just wrestling with the three-year-old running all over the place. like but like really trying to figure out, okay, God, where is our tribe at? Yeah. because that tribe is necessary. It is for spiritual growth. Yeah. And I know you mentioned something about accountability. Sometimes that is a struggle for me sometimes because like when I know that I'm doing something and somebody comes and tell me, hey, like you're not supposed to be doing it. In the back of my mind, I already know I'm not supposed to. But having somebody else tell me that I'm not supposed to is different. But I know they wouldn't be saying anything if they weren't trying to help me. So that's something I've been I've been working on that a lot more here. Like since I came here, it's really helped me grow in that. like knowing that accountability and noticing how important it is. And now it's all right, I want somebody there to tell me where I'm messing up, where I'm doing wrong, or to point out some things that I need improvement in. So that's part of too, like once your root starts to go down a little bit more, whether that be in Christ or in a community. Yeah. You get a little more comfortable of on not having to be held accountable. What by that, it's I'm I'm communicating this to somebody before I have to be told about it. Yep. And but that comes with trust in a community, right? As you start to build trust with certain people, you feel comfortable hey, I fought this today, right? And we were in here on Sat Friday morning. Jason convinced me to get out of the bed at 4:30 and come over prayer. And we did some prayer time together and everybody on starting out by like sharing, hey, this is what I'm struggling with. Yeah. And being in the room with people and it's okay, I've been around these people enough let me just be real with what I'm going through, right? There was no point admit, right? and that part of accountability I think is really huge. Mhm. We used to do a thing at the another program I was in was called Keeping It Hot with all the guys and humble, open, and transparent. telling somebody Yeah. So, we we went around and we prayed for each other after everybody shared what they were going through. And there's freedom in that. Yeah. Yep. Yeah. There definitely is. And I that's one thing I determined when I was preaching, man, when I was at like when I was preaching at Brookside, like I had not all pastors are like this, but I had been around a lot of pastors just didn't never let who they really were. Dope. And I determined that like there was a Sunday that I went and I was battling depression pretty heavy. Yeah. And I just wrapped my whole sermon into that and just confessed in front of the church. Just man, I'm not going to like I'm not going to fake it, ? And there's there's a point where obviously you got to be cognizant, okay, maybe I'm not in a position to be leading right now. But for that particular moment, I was just dealing with a real life struggle. Mhm. And I needed to be open to my community about that. And it's this transition to the last point like so what about when those tough seasons come, right? Cuz there's this process of right daily routine, we tal about that. We talked about overcoming temptation, talked about, growing spiritually, but what about the hard seasons? there's always going to be challenges that life throws at us. Yeah. And so, what do you do when you feel like you're starting to slip when I'm That's That's a good question. Most of the time, I just sit still and wait. because if I know if I make a decision in that moment I know most of the time it's not the right decision like just acting off of impulse. impulse. impulse. like it was maybe it was been like a couple months ago is where things were getting tough. I had another opportunity come up and I prayed. I prayed about it and all I heard was wait, wait, wait. So for me, I think it is just to be still. And it's really tough sometimes, too, because my daughter, she calls and she always wants me to come home. Every time we get on the phone, she's "Daddy, when you coming home?" And that's tough on me because when I'm just laying there, I'm man, what am I really doing? I'm not really being a father right now cuz I'm away. away. away. but still, the Lord just tells me to wait. Just wait. And waiting is everybody don't like nobody likes waiting, right? But I think that's there's some teaching in that. I think you can learn a lot from waiting and patience is one of them. them. them. yeah. So, that's my one of the things I've watched people struggle with quite a bit is understanding the difference between a setback and a full relapse. Yeah. Right. I've seen people struggle with this before. Like this is a momentary challenge. This is a light momentary affliction. Right. Y and course correct and just keep moving forward. Yeah. What advice would you give to somebody maybe right now in this moment that feels like they may be slipping? Man, I would tell them like to like tell somebody just like we were talking about accountability. Have somebody there to go through it with you. cuz it's important. It's very important to have somebody there some accountability and just realize your mistakes and learn from them. instead of sta staying there in the self-pity and wallering in it, it's not going to help. but I feel like if you have somebody going through the same thing with you at that same time, at that particular moment, I think that helps a lot because you're not you don't feel like you're alone and a lot of times we feel like we're alone when we slip and so that's what makes us really just say screw it all and I'm going to just keep on doing it. but yeah, that's good. I was listening when I was talking to Ben. I'll put the link in the description from the podcast with Ben Fuller, but I asked him like I asked him what happened like after he had that moment. He showed up in the church, got baptized, you very spiritually high, incredible, transformed moment. Yeah. I asked him says, "So what after that?" Right? Mhm. Cuz we all know those moments don't last. No, they don't. and his words. Exactly. And he said, "Oh, you mean the moment after the turn of your pain on my back?" Yeah. And I think that's what a lot of us forget. Yep. Now that I'm trying to serve the Lord. Yep. I've got the enemy is trying to Oh, yeah. I was a huge target on Yep. And so it's that, James chapter 1, right? Blessed is the one who persevere. Yep. Under trial. Yeah. Like that's one of the Jesus promises us a lot of good things, peace, joy, but he also promises us hardship. Y and I think being able to know that this battle, man, this battle with the flesh like we're going to sin. We're going to deal with errant thoughts. Yeah. And it's it's learning how to address those, right? And persevering through those moments of hardship rather than ah screw it. Yeah. Oh, like I've already blown it. Yeah. Well, it's been this walk is it's been good, but it hasn't been I wouldn't say easier, but it's been better because there's so many people by your side. You don't feel like you're alone. and you got Jesus there all the time. he's there walking this thing out with the Holy Spirit's right there walking it out with you. And all the answers are in the book. Yeah. But it's just like when you're going through it, you don't see it. It's like you have blinders on. All you could focus on is the problem. And I read this thing one time, all storms are the same. it just depends on how big we make them. That's really good. When we have that opportunity to make those storms bigger than they really are. Yeah. And and then the one thing about storms we know is they're they're always going to pass. Yep. Like they're they're not going to be forever. And that's that piece of persevering. And so it's just this whole thing, man, really is it's a mindset game. Yep. that is like what is it? James talks about sin begins up here, right? Yep. It's always a thought first. Yeah. And if we can get the mindset shifted, that's why we talked about starting the day correctly. Yep. Right. No, understanding that during the day there are going to be things that come up. being able to address those when they come up and talked about the necess necessity to keep going back, watering, right? Water and growth so that we constantly mature, and we have the tools necessary to deal with the new challenges. Yeah. And then lastly, handling the hard seasons, right? Right. That I'm not I don't want to keep fighting the same battle over and over. Yeah. It's like going back to elementary school. Mhm. Over and over. And then eventually you look around, you realize you're you're the only eighth grader in the fifth grade classroom. Yep. Yeah. That's real. It is. A lot of people talk about that and talk about this "Oh, it's Grace. You're doing all right." And I get it. But also, it's like I'm probably hard on myself cuz I should be further along by now. Oh, yeah. And I I know a lot of people will say, "Well, that can lead to guilt and shame." No. I think for me personally when I get in those seasons that's motivation. Yeah. It's like it doesn't push me to like depression and stress. It's like Yeah. Crap. I should be further along than this. Dude, you're better than this. Yep. Like get to freaking work and start moving forward, ? Yeah. Yeah. I deal with that, too. it's like when I first came when I came back and and I just looking at everybody and it's like I done been I've been through this so many times and like I know what's going on but I just can't apply what's going on. And it does drive me, but sometimes it gets me in a place where it's depressing because I can do what's asked of me in a program and but outside of that it's like what happens and there's just this one small thing that shifts my whole thinking and everything just tumble and I'll get in that mindset and I'll just say screw it. So, have you ever been able to figure out what that mindset is that shifts? When we talked about when somebody says something to me and how I react to it, that sometimes that's what happens. Like if somebody tells me something, I'll react and then it's a downward spiral. And it's not only people, it's just like when troubles come my way how I react to trouble and everybody wants to escape reality. and so I always went back to using when it got really tough. Like when you get back to back, it's man, what's going on here? here? here? And I guess sometimes we forget, well, at least sometimes I forget that Jesus is enough. And I just feel like I can handle it and fix it on my own, but I never could. but actually slowing down and taking the time to realize, hey, why is this going on? What's the reason behind it? And I think everything's a teaching and a learning moment. So, is this leadership role at work help you with that a lot? Oh, yeah. Cuz you're having to constantly rub up against people. Yeah. And in the last place I was at, it was Man, I've never went through nothing like that in the program ever. there was almost like physical altercation like on four different occasions and I'd never been to a program where it was anything like that and it taught me a lot. So I was like why is this happening to me because I remember saying something to a guy when I first got there. I was "Yeah, I really feel like the Lord dealt with my anger issues and next thing it was like four different occasions where this happened." I was "Well, maybe he's bringing some more of it out of me." So, but yeah, I definitely learned something from it and just learned to step back and really see everything for what it is. I think it's good, too, cuz that's like I don't want to say it, but it's like almost like sometimes we could deal with those conflicts inside of like Teen Challenge. Yep. And it's oh, this is just program. This isn't real life. I happen out in the real world. It's just program. Uhhuh. But now, no, this is real life. Yep. Like these interactions at work, these people that are rubbing me the wrong way that I deal with, what I'm saying? It just happens. It's any leadership role. It's not specific to your job, right? People need to deal with it. Y I don't cuz I don't want to be trashing your job on the internet. Clear on that, but that's leadership. Yeah. and like and being able to have that and be able to address that stuff and respond appropriately like you said earlier is really cool, man. And what makes you feel better when you give the appropriate answer to a bad response to some like somebody responding bad to you because it makes you feel it's just something about it that makes you just feel good. I was man, I'm glad I didn't react to that cuz it would have looked so much it would have looked bad in front of everybody else. It's well, I'm dealing with an angry leader, and nobody wants to deal with angry leader. I remember when I started at Chick-fil-A, they were talking about Trick Cathy, the guy who founded the restaurant. Mhm. And he had a habit every time he walked into the restaurant, he would always look for a piece of trash in the ground. Oh, wow. and pick up find something and go find up and clean the lot up a little bit. Pick up a piece of trash. Yeah. Well, you get this guy who was still doing this when he was a billionaire. Wow. Thousands of restaurants. And it hit me. It's like as the leader like it's my job to care about the things that nobody else is going to care about. Yep. And so when we get in those positions like that where we're we're in a leadership role and it's like why do I got to pick up this trash? Yeah. what I'm saying? And then it's oh wait, that's why God entrusts me to get this position. That's right. It's it's it's my role, my responsibility to deal with the things that nobody else is going to deal with. Y and so sometimes that means dealing with attitudes that I'd rather not deal with, right? But yet we have we end up addressing those and it's just if you get on the other side of that and of course it's still frustrating. It's still stressful. Yeah, it is. But it's also a vote of confidence like man, God's trusted me with this. Yep. That's pretty awesome. Yeah, it is. And another thing I learned too is like leading by example. Yeah. which I wouldn't tell anybody to do something that I wouldn't do. It's like the guy, the owner of the company, he picked up trash. Like he was willing to do it himself. But I think when they see that you don't respond or react in a way that's like ungodly or not like the world responds. I think that's a big thing. Yeah. Eventually they stop pushing you. Yeah. They will cuz they realize it or stop or they'll push you even more cuz they feel like they can get over on you. Yeah. Well, that's good, man. This has been a good conversation. And for those watching, I just want to encourage you. What's what's a habit or a mindset that's helped you to stay strong? If you want to share that with us in the comments and if you're struggling, just drop the word pray and we'll respond and we'll pray for you. man, Ashley, I appreciate the conversation. I enjoyed this. I enjoyed our last conversation. Drop that link down there and y'all can go check out the last conversation Ashley and I had. Yeah, it was good. I really enjoyed this discussion today. Thank you so much. Thank you for having