The Habits That Keep Me Sober AND Spiritually Strong

Morning Routines and Being Grounded

Well, I was rushing this morning and I didn't have time to read. And I really think that is like part of the reason why we get sucked in the chaos is because we don't have nothing. We're not grounded in anything. It's that process in the morning of praying, reading, really more of the breathing, grabbing a hold with the Lord, that is all the stuff that grounds us, right? It's like the rubber tires in the car that keeps you from getting shot by the lightning bolt.

It's interesting, man, because I know the value of morning routines and I'm just not a morning person. Like, I'm not irresponsible. If I need to get up every morning, like I can do it, you know. But there are some things that I've added into the daily routine at least, right? I remember TC, they used to have us pray on our knees at 5:45 every morning. And like, dude, you haven't even let me have coffee yet. I learned how to sleep in the prayer.

I really think it's a need, more so. But I do need to make it a habit, too, because once I start making that habit and making it more normal, it's like routine. I'm going to do it every day, whether or not I want to or I need to, but I really do need to. Like what you said earlier, though, about digging into the word and how it grounds your day or doesn't ground your day. And you get into that truth and like, what I think about when I hear that is that like it, getting into the word kind of helps me set the intention for the day. And that's the difference, right?

There was a guy that I was following, this podcast, that talked about how he creates a power list every morning. And his power list is literally just three things. He's an entrepreneur, business owner, but he puts three major goals, or just simple goals to accomplish on his power list. And that's how he starts his day, really. And the mindset is that a lot of people, we try to do too much. And so we set our intention to do so much and then we end up overwhelming ourselves and doing nothing. And he said, my power list, if I do three things a day for 365 days, how much further along am I going to be than anybody else? And as Christians, right? We don't just set some power list based off of random things. We set the intention based off of what God says about it.

One morning I was getting my coffee and it was a personal conviction of mine. And I was like, man, I got to get coffee before I get Jesus. I was like, and having that addict mentality is like, I need coffee so I can operate. And I was like, well, I'm going to stop drinking coffee before I read. I'm going to read first and then drink coffee. But I mean, there was a personal conviction of mine. It reminds us that his mercies are new every morning. His mercies are new every morning.

Overcoming Temptation and Staying Focused

So let's get to this point. We assume, you know what, great morning, hit my goals, I hit my habits in the morning. I'm in the word of God, it's been good, but then a distraction just hits in the middle of the day. What would you say some of the biggest distractions or temptations that you face on a day-to-day basis, whether it be at work or hanging out with and relationships or whatever, that's trying to pull you off course?

For me, I really think it's like people and what they say in words, attitude, like working, being a team lead at the job. And you deal with all these different people from different walks of life with different attitudes. And you try to make them happy, but you can't make everybody happy. And some people get upset because you put them in a certain place and they start yelling at you and like talking bad about you. And that can really derail you because you can either do one or two things. You can engage and acknowledge what they said and say something back, or you can be like, okay, I'm going to try to fix this. How can we make this better?

And sometimes the flesh, it rises up, but I noticed that if I'll sit back and think about it for a minute and just assess the whole situation, I'm more likely just to be calm about it. But acting off of impulse, I'm definitely going to say something I'm going to regret. Prior to your relationship with Christ, what's the old pattern that you would have done? Oh, man, I would have spoke before I even thought about anything. I wouldn't even have time to hear it. So that's probably one of my biggest temptations that I deal with on the daily is just other people's attitudes and it could really make or break you.

So how do you handle this moment of stress? Like what do you do to kind of reset yourself and not react, right? Well, I pray. I pray like in the middle, I say quick prayers, like, Lord, I don't know what's going on, but I trust you. Something like that, and usually it helps, but sometimes it's still there in the back of my mind and I think about it. And the more I think about it, I was like, well, maybe they're having a bad day. And it's really not the person because we don't battle with flesh and blood. It's the darkness of this world.

But it's still hard because you know that feeling when you feel like somebody's got one over on you or embarrassed you or made you look bad. That's that feeling that comes over me when somebody catches an attitude and they start talking all this trash about me. And I was like, man, do I let this go or do I say something?

Battling Boredom and Playing the Tape Through

One of the things I struggle with, the pattern, it's been a temptation for me is when I'm bored. Boredom is my worst enemy. Because I tend to get in my old thinking patterns. And especially like, for instance, recently we did the Ben Fuller concert. Right after, like I had a lot of stuff to do and I got sick. I got pneumonia and I was down, man. I don't get sick very often, but this one really hit me.

And I sent her a message. I'm like, you know what, maybe it's just time to hang all this up. But that was the result of nine days of being in my thoughts, sick, bored. And so I've noticed with myself, man, like I've got to guard against those patterns. We had just come off of a tremendous event, huge victory, and talk about like going as far low as you can on the opposite of that pendulum swinging. And that's where I tend to slip into. Like I feel bad with depression sometimes. I'm pretty open about that. And I've got to guard against it.

And another one too is like the outside world. It's like watching them do certain things and knowing that you can't engage in stuff like that anymore. It kind of, I think about it from time to time. And I was like, well, it's just going to lead back. Somebody told me that if you do what you've always done, you'll get what you always got. And everything that looks good is not good. And just watching these people having so-called fun, and it does get to me from time to time. But I know that I really can't engage in that stuff. And I really think the main thing is really playing the tape all the way through, to see where it's going to lead you.

Well, even good things can be triggers. Oh, absolutely. If fishing was a thing and every time you went fishing in the past you had a cooler of beer, and then you got to do that again, it's, I mean, it's almost muscle memory. And you don't even think about it. You said playing the tape all the way through. Something I've written down here is when those thoughts start to come out, learning to change the channel. That's something when I started caring about what I would watch on TV.

Growing Spiritually Through Practice and Service

So moving beyond that, right? We talk about daily routine, we talked about overcoming temptations, kind of recognizing them when they show up. But what about growing spiritually, right? So there's one aspect that I talked about this in chapel a few weeks ago, where a lot of people focus on just, if I just don't screw up, I'll be okay. And so we end up spending all of our time on, if I just don't get high, if I just don't do this, instead of like having a mindset that's focused on actively growing, right? And so how do you actively grow, like how do you grow in your faith, you know, while maintaining your recovery?

For me, I would say putting into practice what I read. Like I'll pick a scripture most days and I'll try to walk in it. And I learned a lot from the mistakes that I made. And that's what I think, that's what really grows my faith is knowing that I'm learning something from the mistakes that I make on a daily. Like sometimes, like practicing those scriptures, like walking it out, I don't get it right all the time. But it teaches me a lesson and I mean, it grows my faith more and more. But that and helping people, I love helping people.

I think serving is really vital. That seems to be something for me that's always, I mean, obviously my prayer time, worship, you know, going to church and all that is helpful, but like serving is really powerful. Because I think more than just the act of doing, there's an accountability that comes with serving alongside other people. And I think that, man, I don't know, we get to a point where people are depending on you. And I think that could be a strong motivator like, man, this feels good. When people are reliant, it does. And that allows some of that growth in our lives.

I think about accountability a lot and really being connected to people. And that's another challenge. And I know you mentioned something about accountability. That is a struggle for me sometimes because like when I know that I'm doing something and somebody comes and tells me, hey, like, you know, you're not supposed to be doing that. I already know I'm not supposed to, but having somebody else tell me that I'm not supposed to is different. But I know they wouldn't be saying anything if they weren't trying to help me.

So that's something I've been working on that a lot more here. Like since I came here, it's really helped me grow in that, like knowing that accountability and noticing how important it is. And now it's like, all right, I want somebody to tell me where I'm messing up, where I'm doing wrong, or to point out some things that I need to improve in.

Handling Hard Seasons and Learning to Wait

We talked about daily routine, we talked about overcoming temptation, talked about you're growing spiritually, but what about the hard seasons? Like there's always going to be challenges that life throws at us. And so what do you do when you feel like you're starting to slip?

Most of the time I just sit still and wait, because I know if I make a decision in that moment, I know most of the time it's not the right decision, like just acting off impulse. Like it was maybe a couple months ago, it was where things were getting tough. I had another opportunity to come up and I prayed. I prayed about it and all I heard was wait, wait, wait. So for me, I think it is just to be still and it's really tough sometimes too.

Because my daughter, she calls and she always wants me to come home every time we get on the phone. She's like, daddy, when you come home, when you come home. And that's tough on me because when I'm just laying there, I was like, man, what am I really doing? I'm not really being a father right now because I'm away. But still the Lord just tells me to wait, just wait. And waiting is, I mean, everybody don't like, nobody likes waiting, but I think there's some teaching in that. I think you can learn a lot from waiting and patience is one of them.

One of the things I've watched people struggle with quite a bit is understanding the difference between a setback and a full relapse. I've seen people struggle with this before. Like this is a momentary challenge, this is a light momentary affliction, right? And course correct and just keep moving forward. What advice would you give to somebody maybe right now in this moment that feels like they may be slipping?

Man, I would tell them like to tell somebody, just like we were talking about accountability, have somebody there to go through it with you, because it's important. It's very important to have somebody there, some accountability. And just realize your mistakes and learn from them instead of staying there in the self-pity. While you're in it, it's not going to help. But I feel like if you have somebody going through the same thing with you at that same time, at that particular moment, I think that helps a lot because you don't feel like you're alone. And a lot of times we feel like we're alone when we slip. And so that's what makes us really just say screw it all and I'm going to just keep on doing it.

Persevering Through Trials and Storms

I was listening, when I was talking to Ben, I'll put the link in the description from the podcast with Ben Fuller, but I asked him what happened like after he had that moment. He showed up in the church, got baptized, a very spiritually high, incredible, transformative moment. I said, so what after that, right? Because we all know those moments don't last. And his words exactly, and he said, oh, you mean the moment after the tour bus dropped me off at my bed?

And I think that's what a lot of us forget. Now that I'm trying to serve the Lord, the enemy is trying to, or you hear it, there's a target on you. And so it's that, your James chapter 1, right? Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial. Like that's one of the, Jesus promises a lot of good things, peace, joy, but he also promises hardship. And I think being able to know that this battle, man, this battle with the flesh, like we're going to sin, we're going to deal with errant thoughts. And it's learning how to address those, right, and persevere into those moments of hardship rather than run from it.

This walk is, it's been good, but it hasn't been, I wouldn't say easier, but it's been better because there's so many people by your side. You don't feel like you're alone. And you got Jesus there all the time. Like he's there walking this thing out with you and the Holy Spirit's right there walking it out with you. And all the answers are in the book. But it's just like when you're going through it, you don't see it. It's like you have blinders on. All you can focus on is the problem.

And I read this thing one time, all storms are the same. It just depends on how big we make them. That's really good. But we have that opportunity to make the storms bigger than they really are. And the one thing about storms we know is they're always going to pass. Like they're not going to be forever. And that's that piece of persevering. And so it's just, this whole thing, man, really is it's a mindset game.

That is, that is. Like James talks about sin begins up here, right? It's always a thought for us. And if we can get the mindset shifted, that's why we talked about starting the day correctly. Understanding that during the day there are going to be things that come up, you know, being able to address those when they come up. And then talk about the necessity to keep growing. To keep watering and grows, so that we constantly mature, you know, and we have the tools necessary to deal with the new challenges. And then lastly, handling the hard seasons, right? That I don't want to keep fighting the same battle over and over and over.