How Ace & Luis Found Freedom From Addiction

oh dude and so these are things you can get to me every time dude it gets me every single time dude the ruach the Breath of God come on think about this he made you a respirator therapist however you call it right I don't really know the terminology pretty good but now you're breathing life back into the lost the Dead come on WOW he says I'm going to take the dead things and put them in your arms and I'm gonna use you as a vessel to brief life back into their souls if you're listening to this podcast right now if you're watching this you're listening this is for you all of this all of our pain trials tribulations and victories is for you to listen to receive it because if you're not being attacked right now which I know you are it's because God has a bigger plan for you and the enemy is trying to destroy kill and Rob your destiny go back home find a church find Community plug into us we're here to help go yeah I don't mind leaving my phone number up there my Instagram whatever it might be what we're in this we are in this and from ah well one thing I do want to share is that I've seen a lot of alcoholic deaths right I've seen a lot of addiction deaths okay it is not pretty one guy in my in my age group said he went back to the doctor to be like hey Doc how bad is an alcoholic death because he was really was willing to give it up right there's a possibility out there guys that when we go up to be with the Lord and it was natural that it would that we were sober that we were clear-minded that we were free of guilt of Shame of and we were able to Triumph in truth in God's truth and we're able to transform this trauma and transform these trials into testimonies welcome guys to another episode of rebuilding life after addiction we have two awesome guests today brother that I met through a sister in Christ Jordan so I want to say a shout out to Jordan thank you so much for introducing Ace to my me and Justin so we have Ace and Luis that's going to be able to share their story and just really peel back some layers of in systems that they put in place to show what it means to not only have a relationship with God but how to live in community and in Freedom in Christ so excited to share their story today and yeah let's begin hey son Luis how are you man thank you guys for jumping on oh thanks for having us fired up yeah that's good stuff man we had a conversation Rob said he talked to you for what an hour on the phone Ace a few minutes back I looked at my phone and was like wow I should be going back to work here but it was such a fire fire conversation and we man I we were like ministering to each other and just in prayer and oh man I was so grateful for that time so thanks for having us yeah dude I was telling Justin just I was just telling Justin Pryor to this call I said I don't think I've talked to another man that long on the phone other than me talking to my wife so hey you did it was good awesome I actually love this because it's definitely Divine intervention Divine planning divine appointment because I actually came into town to celebrate Aces one year of recovery right and yeah come on a month back I have I've had two years of recovery myself right so I was actually here to celebrate him in the room and now I'm actually here to celebrate him online with y'all so it's just God movement to show other men women and whomever else is in there the American admire that it is possible right and I'm just tied up yeah that's awesome that's the biggest thing right is being that threat of Hope for people because so many people stay trapped and they don't they don't know that there's another way out or shame keeps them held up or the they don't want to be vulnerable and be open about it and it's just like man there are so many of us out there that have struggled with the same thing but that Jesus has met us in the middle of it we we had somebody on the call last night and the recurring theme of the conversation was that while we were yet sinners that's when Christ died for us he didn't wait till we had it all cleaned up or had it all put together but in our mess that's when he met us and I'm I'm grateful as I can see the passion and the fire in your eyes so why don't you guys Ace you want to go first man and just jump in introduce yourself to the audience give us a little back story and we'll just kick the conversation off that way man yeah absolutely first off thanks for having me guys this it's an honor to have Luis over here and to celebrate my one-year sobriety this week has been an incredible week of looking back to see God's hand on everything well so I'm 40 years old one year sober as I mentioned I was born of the Philippines came here when I was about three and a half both my parents were law enforcement officers back in the Philippines we came here because my dad was on a hit list but to get to be murdered taken out I guess and so starting out just moving from one place to another by the time I was eight years old we lived in 10 places spent some time being homeless and by the grace of God somebody had taken us in all right and at age 10 settled into the Bay Area California and grew up there but Luis when I was in high school so one of my he's one of my brothers that we reconnected later on but when we talk about when I talk about addiction it's one of those words that when you're dead in the spirit you think it's it's another person's problem but when you're awakened you see you own it right and part of that ownership for me was was coming to know that God really uses people of all walks Noah wasn't was an alcoholic right and he uses people with all kinds of issues in any and those are the things that keeps us humble a little bit further on to my story I I work as a respiratory therapist and I took care of the first community acquired coveted patient in the country back in February of 2020 and saw everything from Ground Zero in that time in that confused state job first off there's there's hasn't been anybody who hasn't been affected by covet in one way or another and so with that being said there were a lot of uncertainties at the time and living in uncertain unprecedented times I found myself developing post-traumatic stress and not knowing what it was trying to tough it out I got into addiction man Addiction in the form of alcohol of pain pills of illegal substances marijuana I wanted to escape real bad I didn't know how so December of 21 I had a suicide I had suicide ideation suicide attempt three days before my brother's wedding I only have one brother and that was a culmination of a lot of pain a lot of suffering a lot of not wanting to feel anymore however God had a different story man like a month later we ended up in Idaho a month after that my wife gave birth to our third child and it wasn't until the moment of surrender that I can sit here and say that I actually knew what addiction was and I knew who the Lord was I had an idea of who the Lord was but you get to you meet the Lord on the way up but you get to know his character on the way down and man wow man it's just he and on the way down for me was a rock bottom but that wasn't Rock Bottom it was a launching pad just where I could be directed straight back into relationship with him no I know this was an introduction but man I'm just passionate of What the Lord Has Done in my life and I can't thank you yeah man yeah that's so good yeah so let me ask you Ace did you have before so before what you went through during 2020 and all the stuff that that you experienced did you struggle with addiction prior to that or was this the first time in your life that you had battled addiction and started to struggle there it's a great question addiction comes in many forms and I didn't realize that initially I thought it was just crack or meth or certain things that that if I Maybe not maybe I didn't have that specific problem per se but I had every other problem I I struggled with with all kinds of numbing forms and not to dull it down but it was the numbing of womanizing right chasing tail before I was married pornography I struggled with pornography I struggled with going out to receive affirmation from people from women performance-based stuff I was addicted to basketball I play seven days a week and try to have a full-time job and when it wasn't it might have been a healthy Addiction in one area but there were always things lurking so to answer your question I did have addictions many of them I just thought one was less less than the other yeah wow yeah that's good yeah that's that's that's important it's an important part of the conversation right because I think that a lot of times when we hear the word Addiction we automatically go to the worst substances right and we start to think about the street drugs and all that and not realize that I think Rick Warren would celebrate recovery a lot of times they talk about Hurts Habits and Hang-Ups and his big thing is that everybody's in need of recovery because we all it's that conversation everything may be permissible but not everything's beneficial but I won't be Mastered by anything and we need recovery from whatever thing is mastering us and I think the more folks like yourself Ace that are willing to be verbal and verbalize some of this stuff we can start to break some of the stigma that exists around this community often it's gotten better since 20 years ago but it's still there's still a stigma out there and on man I apprec appreciate you being vulnerable and opening up here on this call on this podcast in front of the entire internet man that's a big deal Rob did you have something I saw I see you over there stewing man so I just want you there's so much and we'll dive into that later but Lewis go Luis please share your portion of the story as well absolutely pretty unique that you guys knew each other back in high school and now you guys are rekindled you guys are both coming from an addiction pass now some so it's it's interesting how you flew out to where he's at right now yeah from Tennessee time how powerful is that man Community right that's a whole nother like streamline of conversation but I don't want to go too far into that so please share a little bit of your testimony or background if you can just introduce yourself absolutely I'm Luis Marquez and let me tell you this that God is real God can and will do what a prescription job what a meeting what a room what a therapist cannot do and that's absolutely healed and I'll tell you about my background really quick I say for myself I come from fumble Beginnings not humble beginnings because with me the ball has dropped a lot I was never held as a child I grew up in a home that was chaotic a lot of deception a lot of Darkness I witnessed my father cheat on my mom as a young kid my drunk uncles and my father at four years old introduced me to pornography they sat me in the living room and had me there and just were laughing at me I had to save my mother for my own father by calling the cops on her as a young child I was calling the cops on him to stop beating on her and even after he left the abuse for my mother continued on with me because I was my dad's child so in high school in middle school no one saw that because I put on a good smile I put on a good show because that was my only Outlet was to be the clown was to be happy in any way shape or form I could be right in the midst of that the only four on source of light and happiness in relationship to Jesus that I knew of because I grew up Catholic was my grandmother my dad's mom who planted the seed of love from Jesus in me unbeknownst to me at the time so through all that middle school high school I was being abused a lot I was man there's just so many stories to tell right but there's one incident where the gun was there where it should have been I would not be here today and that was 15 years old I came out of that real quick I understood like there is God and she's looking out for me so at 17 I became homeless by choice because the streets were actually safer than my own home and this is in California I was living in California at the time born and raised in San Jose I went to high school Milpitas because my mom had remarried and took us there but I went back to San Jose when I became homeless and for a 17 to 19 I was living out of my car I was dating someone who was involved with games and I had to survive so I became Affiliated and I was staying with people that she didn't have been staying with if it was any parent right but those people introduced me to hard drugs hard alcohol hard parting and I had to do anything I had to survive lives right mind you it felt good because I quickly learned a quick way to mask and I wouldn't say heal but Band-Aid the wounds that was projected onto me and Unleashed on me from infancy up until my teenage years right and I found myself in and out of jail because of drinking because of using and I could I quickly came to terms that wasn't the life that was destined for my life that I didn't want to become a statistic that my life meant more than to be a number on a police report a number on a California report a number on a national report so I asked for a Bible one time when I was incarcerated when my way early 20s it's like 20 plus years ago and I got filled with the word and I love the word and I wanted to become a pastor at a very young age now let me tell you my bless her soul my mother after I was released I went back to her house and I was preaching the word in the gospel and I was just loving life and I felt this fire inside of me and she's like who are you talking about God this God that who are you I don't know who you are anymore I want my son back she wanted a former self and to hear that from your own mother who for years I wanted her affirmation for years I wanted her affection and for years I practiced being a perfect child that was never perfect enough for her to receive that went back to the streets right so I had a in and out relationship with the street life not by choice but I had no other way to survive right I've gone to treatments I've gone to therapy I've gone to counseling I've had prescription drugs that they labeled me ADHD or this and that or the other and I took them and I didn't feel mean so I stopped it and I went to a treatment center like I said I went to college because I had a son out of wedlock and I found the passion for that I man I've led a lot of marches and rallies and protests so I've I know I have a strong calling in my life I just was dealt the wrong cards so I did the best with those cards that I could right and lo and behold the Lord found me and then that happened in 2010 I say this that I was prematurely born at 2010 because I wasn't ready to live that life and receive life right so I was a premature reborn Christian and you had three years of Battle of I left the drugs a long time ago but my drug of choice was alcohol and pornography and right and yeah I just moved forward and the one thing that really took me off my game and was my last ride on that sad that sad train of self-loathing was in 2018 I finally was finally married serving the lord and Ministry I've relaunched the youth ministry I was in a Ministry apprenticeship program I was a good Christian I was tithing I had a son with my wife and five weeks later the Lord called them back home two days before Christmas [Music] [Music] [Music] and that part right there three days after Christmas carrying my son's box to his final resting place forget about it yeah but what the enemy man for evil God would use it for good right and yeah I man I went for a run after that a hard run for five days like I was gone and my wife I followed Mr personal support on me I didn't want to live anymore but God right so it all started yeah it all started with the seed that your grandmother we were talking about this last night man and I can't wow I can't get over the fact that God will take something so small as a seed his word implanted in you even though he knows what you're gonna go through he's still like it's remarkable to me the power of our words right because we both of you guys said this is that you guys were seeking affirmation you guys were seeking just you were chasing after this word right and God gave you the word lo and behold and it was spoken over you come on and in the dark place it began to germinate and began to grow and brought forth life in its due season right what does he say is I think it's in the book of Isaiah or he says that my word Goes Forth but does not come back void It Goes Forth to serve its purpose amen and it's remarkable to see that you guys are brought back together and I'm going to like navigate this but I Ace I can't help but not have you touch on when you first gave your heart to the Lord because in our conversation that we have on the phone July 31st is a not just the day of your sobriety brother come on it's it's bigger than that and so there's there's there's significance behind that and so if you can share that with our audience why that's such a special day not just a new creation but it's even bigger than that having seen a lot of death during in my profession especially during covid and something as tragic as what Luis went through here with Luis and his wife and his family went through God gave me like a heart of compassion because he's allowed me to have experiences that with him because he's got me by my grandmother her name is Merced so her name her name means Mercy she died in my arms when I was 22 years old at the time I was a hot shot basketball college kid who just was had a lot of testosterone I guess at that time at 22 years old a lot of energy just living life but my grandmother she she passed away in my arms and I didn't know how to resuscitate her hey I gave a couple of breaths under my dad's Direction and looking back every patient that I took care of once I became a respiratory therapist at age 29 I kept thinking it was my grandmother and I wanted to bring them back to life like every patient was my family member every baby that I'm blessed to be able to be a part of the recovery is a child of God I think of these these patients of mine especially the young ones as man they could be the president of the United States one day it's not that hard but anyway that's a whole different podcast but with my grandmother I told my mom about three weeks ago that Mom hey Mom it's my birthday is coming up and she's like what your birthday is in December I said no Mom Gillette my birthday is on July 30th it's coming up and she said it's no it's December I said mom seriously the 30th of July she said well that's your grandmother's birthday and so what I realized was that a hundred years to the day sobriety chose me come on sobriety chose me to get sober on that day on July 30th 2022 and this year when I celebrated my one year I got to celebrate to see that my grandma put in my heart oh dude and so these are things you can get to me every time dude gosh that gets me every single time dude God is so good come on the rock the Breath of God come on think about this he made you a respirator therapist however you call it right I don't really know the terminology pretty good but now you're breathing life back into the Loft the Dead come on WOW he says I'm going to take the dead things and put them in your arms and I'm gonna use you as a vessel to brief life back into their souls I'm gonna restrained from speaking in tongues right now because the holy spirit in me just wants to act foolish but God is so good amen wow sorry yeah no you're good yeah I talk a lot man I don't really get caught speechless too much like I just I'm just processing everything that you just said and everything like your journey man and it's just there's no there's how else do you put words to it other than just to say the Lord as Rob just said me and just watching God shape this journey and all things truly working together even in the middle of it's it is it's a lot man and I yeah loyalty and I accept those things with a where the heart that's ready to accept it right realizations affirmations from safe men who have gone through these types of struggles right who have who've experienced the grace of God and his mercy and who can sit there and also mention that he is so good because that's where it's hard for me to say like he's great and all that stuff because that would mean that my emotionally I'm like oh I'm happy all the time because he makes me happy all the time no it's it's it's in those low seasons that is grace is sufficient man it just it's more than enough and it teaches it it rebukes it loves it builds up when Luis mentioned about having fumble Beginnings so yeah that's just the beginning bro he's he his whole life his whole life has been a whole scent it's it's Redemption story right it's a sanctification process that we talked about earlier today about protecting our testimonies right not letting people down not disappointing people but more so what was it do you remember what we remember we yeah no it's not the whole idea of protecting our testimony it's not a thing of Pride it's a thing of just constant not living in shame and it's not a shame driven thing but it's just knowing that like as God begins to do this renewing work in us that as we start to testify and share our story and Robin I talked about this on a podcast a few weeks ago Paul had a measure of growth and Grace in his life to be able to stand up and say follow me as I follow Christ right and there needs to be some self acknowledgment that I am following in order to say that to other people and that's part of the testimony it's like man once we discover that treasure in a field we're running out we're selling everything we can to go and pursue that treasure and to go find it but then we're telling everybody else about the same treasure we found and we just man we just don't want to we don't want to disrupt that we want to protect the testimony of the Lord's work in us because we know how significant it is and Rob was talking about that seed that had been planted in you and I love that because like I'm a gardener I got garden stuff all over my yard man I love I just picked a bunch of tomatoes today but when that seed goes in the ground the wind and the rain is happening all around it and that is our lives man that seed gets planted into us and there's just storms there's chaos there could be hail and that's the circumstances of our life But as God begins to give the increase in that seed one Waters one plants but God gives the increase as God begins to give the increase that thing that life that we didn't know exists begins to come out of us and that's all a work of the Holy Spirit and you guys man are here on this call as testimonies to that like every circumstance in life said that you shouldn't be where you are today but God and it's just like for me like I yeah I told Rob I'm a big baby these days because I get on these calls and I like I'm here and I'm trying to talk and I'm crying and I'm like Lord can I can't get words out when I cry but it's like man when you the Holy Spirit just starts to show up and you hear the authentic testimonies of what God is doing in people it's like what I'll be a mess and so Luis I'd love to hear man about some of your journey like on you shared your testimony and really about the relationship here right because it's a significant thing for a friend of you're in Tennessee so you flew halfway across the country to come celebrate a significant milestone in your friend's life and man that Brotherhood is significant right and so on man just talk about some of that for us if you don't mind no not at all thank you so much so yeah I was in Church home on Sunday because I love my church on the fourth Sunday or the last minute every month we have church at home or the whole church is divided into different homes and we have time to break bread and fellowship and we're talking about worship right our form of worship it's not just about singing right it's about doing what the Lord wants you to do and I had a revelation that my former worship that what I do as I give back what I never had growing up so I love babies because I was never held I love playing with toddlers because I never experienced childhood I love working with the youth because no one worked with me I love leading young adults and pouring the internet is more important to me I love being there for a brother there's no brothers left for me right and now's your career what I do is I love people I love helping people with finances because no one helped me with finances so that's my greatest one worship is doing what was never given to me but now that I have it I gave it abundantly amen and going back to Ace wow another God story is when I heard my son's last breath two days before Christmas I had woken up and I thought something was off and I picked them up and I heard his last breath and paramedics came the officers came and I was on my knees begging God to raise my son like Lazarus please Lord please raise them up and when it didn't happen that's when I really fell off the deep end right because I just felt like he met and he I just felt like like I failed my son and I remember getting a call on Christmas actually in the they were requesting if my son wanted to donate any of his organs and they said that the only part that was able to donate was his heart so me knowing my son's heart just those five weeks I didn't have to think twice if my son had to die if another kid could live that's my son's story right and I remember posting things on Facebook and just memories and that's how a started reaching out to me and I still have rekindled like friendship from high school right it's like he reached out to me so he was there for me or before I was there for him and another entrepreneurs God had a bigger plan and here we are today it's been a long tough Journey but every season of my life of recovery of wanting a better life of falling and getting back up it's it's not how many times you fall it's how many times you get back up right let's go and that's just in my head and because I chose never to give up and because I had Brothers around me that never gave up on me when I wanted to give up by myself I can tell you the truth I'm Healed declaration man yeah it's so good yeah that whole process man there you just that you went through all the things that you lacked you're now intentional on giving those things to other people and talk about breaking generational curses right talk about changing the mode and making things better for them that's all we can hope to do in life right is to get this revelation of freedom and then man just constantly go in and I love to hear that man that's so powerful well Justin dude like when you think about it right what Paul says present your body right which is your reasonable Act of service yeah I love that you called it worship because we have this idea in our mind that worship is just lifting of hands which it is right we lift our hands but worship is so much more complex than what we've been taught come on because you have to understand when they would Worship the Lord often at times there was no music playing and so it's an outpouring of everything that's in you and so like I love how like I think you said this earlier what the enemy meant for evil God intended for good and so there's nothing that God does not use it's like there's scraps on the plate and what do we want to throw them in the trash and addicts are often looks like looked at as scraps on the plate okay I want nothing else to do with you're the leftovers you're the remain you're you're you're like the gum on the bottom of a table and God's like I can do something with this because I'm The Mastermind in making masterpieces amen and so God took your story and did such a remarkable thing and now as you said like the kids that weren't I was never held so I have like it's like what Paula talks about like I did all these things because I thought this is how I knew God was now he's like oh I got to do things different now he's like I'm forgetting the former things to reach forward to and it's just like man dude like I don't even know bro I like my words I'm stumbling over my words right now because I'm in just such amazement at the testimony of the two of you guys and the community that you've established after so many years of no communication yeah it took your pain to rekindle that love that relationship so what does that say like let's talk about this a little bit guys and I are going through pain that are addicts how would you say that we should view it rather than this like what was me how should we view our pain how do we redirect our pain even if we are we've overcome addiction what systems have you guys put in place today that when pain does come or troubles do come the storms the wind as Justin mentioned earlier the water the rain what systems do you guys have in place that keeps you grounded it's a great question with addicts or with myself there was something missing they're it wasn't the substance it wasn't the alcohol the all those things were replacements for something missing now when we don't know when I choose not to see God as an abundant God as a life-giving God as the alpha the Omega the Healer as someone who has as someone who demonstrates love even when I don't deserve it like Agape right just I don't deserve none of this but he's still there if when I look at addicts just like when I look at myself in the mirror I see someone that's missing something that God's just looking at it look at his chops ready to come in there and just give me what I've they're so thirsty to have for so long like a dried out wine skin just going back to whatever it might be he's ready to he's the Lord's ready to change everything up renew my lungs renew my liver review my brain after I think it's is it 12 years either 10 or 12 years every cell in our bodies are renewed so if you eat 10 to 12 years of sobriety like there are no cells that still remain from your addiction hmm but like there's there's none God wouldn't use us and when I see people that when I see myself going condemning myself for my past addictions I like to play the song I played the song The Reason by Hoobastank if you guys ever get a chance to play it and say it to yourself right that is it's a song for you it's a song to let that yeah so can I go down that thread a little bit more on what you said about the emptiness and trying to figure that out right and so what about for the individual that might be knowing there's an emptiness they just can't quite figure out what need in them they're trying to fill what I'm saying how did you guys get there like I know we know that the substances the alcohol the drugs pornography whatever it may be is filling that hole inside of us right and sometimes that hole exists because of past experiences and stuff that we walk through and so how did that journey of Discovery take place and either one of you guys are welcome to answer this for you to figure out what that was because sometimes we know we're struggling with something but we may not have the language or know how to quite put words to what we're dealing with first and foremost to those listening to those watching I say this it's not your fault you're abused it's not your fault you once you go use it's not your fault that you continue to abuse your body your mind your heart your relationships because whatever happened to you're numbing that pain that feeling you're not loving yourself because you feel you're not worthy of love friend you are when I flip the switch of realizing that I was done searching and yearning for man's for affirmation and all I needed was his that was a game changer in my life 180 personally the pain is real right the addiction is the fruit but I had to go dig deep into the root of the cause of why I was right a numbing why I was masking why I was betraying my own future right so after like I said my son had passed away I surrendered because I was ready to leave my six-figure income my wife my family everything that I worked so hard to become I always wanted to give all that up get a tent my dog and my nine millimeter and live in the streets right and just live in shame but God I remember looking in that mirror in a bar for my last drink and holding back tears because I felt the Holy Spirit just get a hold of me and saying child you're worth so much more and when I felt that I knew I knew even though I've gone to rehab before I got the treatment before I knew this time instead of doing it for other people I had to do it for me that's right so I surrendered I became obedient and I submitted myself to I wanted to do a year-long program the Lord led me to a six-month program and because of that program because I actually was obedient to the Lord for the first time in my life and said I can't do it anymore on my terms I want to do it on yours he told me for the first two months of my life which is oh my Lord it was the hardest thing ever was to be still and know that I am God yeah man and when that happened revelation after Revelation things start coming out and I was now in a safe space even though there was a house of men that were just as Torah from the floor as I was but I was in a safe environment where I knew that in order for me to be healed from this pain so for those of you that are dealing with your pain it's real claim it give it a voice but release it the more you release it I spoke about it now that I'm more free than ever and now it doesn't have a grip on me right I am no longer gripped by my pain why because I allowed the Lord to open it up dig out all that nastiness that was in there that was I was band-aiding it and putting gum on it or whatever I could just to not get it healed and actually do the work yeah it could work yeah it's gonna take work it was powerful brother yeah it is and so you would say and I think I'm so glad you went to that part about the Holy Spirit and what the Lord was doing because like Rob and I were on this podcast and we're doing this stuff and it's so the spiritual Factor right the Jesus factor and all of this is so key and I'm and I don't have any ill feelings toward those it gets sober outside of Finding Christ but for this context we know that like that relationship with the Lord and digging in and allowing Holy Spirit ultimately to uncover stuff that we have buried so deep but then the word is like a mirror right it is it's it's it is a mirror for our lives and as we start to dig into that's when that stuff starts to come up and without Christ doing that work I'm so glad you went there man and and dove into that part of it because it's so valuable well the thing is guys like when we really begin to think about this even though you can have addiction outside or freedom from addiction outside of Christ you're still not free and so the thing is I love the fact that we've named this podcast rebuilding life after addiction because life begins with unity in Christ now in the beginning right God was in relationship with the father Son and the Holy Spirit right what's so amazing to me is that going back into your story life began when you guys joined together again now hear me out on this you were broken you lost a life he came in he saw he saw your need it's it's just like in the children of Israel when they're in the wilderness they're crying out Lord help they're in Egypt they're in slavery hell what did God's he saw need what he do he met the need and so people develop life develop Freedom through Community it's so important that we have Community but not just Community amongst one another community in Christ because as our as we develop that relationship with Christ then we can have an authentic relationship with man and so it's so important it's so impactful but what we do is it's like what the children of Israel also did they gained Freedom they gained Deliverance in what they do they went right back to the very same thing again and this is where a lot of this is what brought our burden and our concern to really even launch this is because we've witnessed so many brothers and sisters go through addiction relapse and sometimes not even come out on the other side right and so they professed Christ but there was this there was still this void yeah and so identifying where that void is but also the importance of having the community when you're going through that emptiness or that Brokenness is vital and bringing you back to life right so powerful and regarding Community if it's okay to share a couple of the communities that have helped me along my journey is that okay so back in September of 22 I attended save a warrior in Hillsboro Ohio which is a suicide prevention program for veters and Veterans and First Responders as we know there's 22 veterans a day that commit suicide if you add First Responders and also now the new statistic is healthcare workers that statistic is roughly about 40 a day now these are people that serve the community that that show up to work and so you just got to do it man it's not easy right it's not easy it's easier to pick up the needle it's harder to put the needle down and so I think a lot of us right we it was that was the hardest thing I think the lady that we had on last night she like said it too she was like yeah I had the blunt it was ready it was rolled and I was just going to smoke that thing and be like this is my last one I'm gonna go out with the bang and I remember when I was in my addiction I was like I'm gonna shoot up as many pills and crack cocaine at once before I go on my little trip to get well but it was like no at what cost the cost of potentially dying and so we think our last is our last but our last is really probably and could be potentially our death and so now is the time this is the time if you're listening don't wait I remember this like it was yesterday couldn't stand the guy but he said this always at RTC he ended up being a crackhead hopefully he saved and delivered now but anyways he said if not now then when if not he always would come into Chapel he had a slides on his do-ragon looked like he just hopped out the bed and he would always be mad at us but he'd always be like hey if not now then when and those words stuck with me till this day and so I thanked him for that because the same goes for us if not now then when are we going to get ourselves together yeah yeah it goes back to I feel but the scripture tells us to love thy neighbor as you love yourself well how can you love your neighbor if you don't even know how to love yourself first right so I had to learn how to love myself because I wasn't gonna get my mama I was getting it from the girlfriends I was getting from my daddy I was getting from no man no woman nobody else that's why I was my in the train of shame or just uploading like wait a minute I got some responsibility because this is my only life I have let me go up here to the force because once I'm plugged in I know I'm right in jolly and I'm just full of life and once I unemployed I'm dark shameful and just filled with lust I'm like I gotta stay connected to the stores my heart real quick addiction wasn't meant to be for a substance or for like food or for pornography or the Lord put this form of I would say worship that we're supposed to have come on not for a substance but for him yeah come on like there's something missing specifically there only she can feel oh yeah come on right only he can feel yeah he's supposed to be addicted to Jesus baby and that's it I thought the best I could ever get is that natural Jesus eye it is man yeah come on yeah you talk about that loving yourself man I know we're we're coming up on an hour so but Matt reached on that on Sunday we talked about loving your neighbor as yourself and how you can't love anybody else until you love you and love who God created you to be and that's that right view of God it starts with that right view of God and we think about the prodigal and I heard somebody preach this a long time ago and I'll never forget it that most likely when the prodigal came home he probably looked like Justin when he was in the middle of his meth addiction 110 pounds was probably a little skinny hadn't been eating a whole bunch and he came home and the dad took the robe off the shelf and clothed them in the robe was probably a little too big for him but it didn't matter he had all the benefits he had all the authority and everything that robe represented he was part of the family immediately and then he gave him the ring and then he gave him the sandals but discipleship is simply us growing into the robe we're still Sons the moment we come home to Jesus the moment he meets us right there he runs out to us he puts the robe on us we may be we may not fit in it yet and that's okay we're still the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus in this sanctification process what you guys have been talking about it's simply us growing into the robe and that's the beauty of the gospel and it's just like man when I hear stories like yours and robs and mine and all that it's just like man like I my friends the people that I know that are still out there it's like you're never going to be clean enough to come to Christ just come to him and it's not about the track box whatever just bring it all and he'll clothe you he will put that robe on you put the ring on your finger The Authority the Covenant and then give you purpose that you can walk out in and that is the beauty of what Jesus does and we've heard it for those listening you've heard Luis and Ace these stories man of how God has taken all this pain immense pain from different seasons of their lives and now you hear Louise going through that whole list if you have you're on this podcast scroll back and listen to his form of worship and how God is using every bit of that for his purpose and for Ace like in this place where like struggling with the PTSD but now he's in these support groups and helping people find Victory through it's just a it's an ultimate slap in the face of the enemy who tried to take us out with this pain and it's just like nope you're not and this is not your story this is the story of the Lord it belongs to him and he's going to get all of this Glory no matter what all right I have this staring in my spirit by now and I gotta say this I got this they're just throwing myself if you're listening to this podcast right now if you're watching this you're listening this is for you all of this all of our pain trials tribulations and victories is for you to listen to receive it because if you're not being attacked right now which I know you are it's because God has a bigger plan for you and the enemy is trying to destroy kill and Rob your destiny go back home find a church find Community plug into us we're here to help go I don't mind leaving my phone number up there my Instagram whatever it might be what we're in this right we are in this and from well one thing I do want to share is that I've seen a lot of alcoholic deaths right I've seen a lot of addiction deaths okay it is not pretty one guy in my in my a group said he went back to the doctor to be like hey Doc how bad is an alcoholic death because he was really was willing to give it up right there's a possibility out there guys that when we go up to be with the Lord and it was natural that it would that we were sober that we were clear-minded that we were free of guilt of Shame and we were able to Triumph in truth in God's truth and we're able to transform this trauma and transform these trials into testimonies I'm giving myself a little plug there because I got a book coming out it's called triumphing and Truth transforming trials into testimonies and everybody who's out there that's that's on the podcast I just just want to pray for you right now and just ask the Lord to come into this room and just pour out his love on you man you are his child you were created in his son's image but if I pray real quick yeah okay wow gracious heavenly father thank you so much for this podcast and the people that are here communicating that are tuning in Father Lord at this time just want to give you the glory and the Victory and that anybody that might be listening right now that might be struggling fathers that were once us one time father Lord I pray that you just just suffer their hearts to your word suffer through their hearts to be testimonies Lord and father for these men that are on this podcast right oh Lord I pray that you just protect their testimony mother remind them of the moments that you were with them that you were with us when we were stumbling when we were falling and father I pray that those that are tuning in right now father that you send your angels your Saints in the middle of the night leave your 99 and search for them Father and them by name father Lord I just thank you for this opportunity to pray for these men and women that have a future testimony to tell come on if they're going through a trial Lord but there's nothing that's too big for you father we thank you for this day I'm sorry about this podcast blesses millions of people father and coming to know you as a lord and savior in Jesus name amen