How Ace & Luis Found Freedom From Addiction

The Breath of God and Community Support

Oh, dude. And so these are things you can get me every time, dude. God. It gets me every single time, dude. The rock, the breath of God. Come on, think about this. He made you a respirator therapist. How do you call it? Right? I don't really know the terminology. Pretty good. But now you're breathing life back into the lost, the dead. Come on. Wow.

He says, I'm going to take the dead things and put them in your arms. And I'm going to use you as a vessel to breathe life back into their souls. If you're listening to this podcast right now, if you're watching this, you're listening, this is for you. All of this, all of our pain, trials, tribulations, and victories is for you to listen to receive it because if you're not being attacked right now, which I know you are, it's because God has a bigger plan for you and the enemy is trying to destroy, kill, and rob your destiny. Go back home, find a church, find community, plug into us. We're here to help.

Acknowledging Pain and Start of Recovery

Yeah. Yeah, we get it. You know, I don't mind leaving my phone over up there. My Instagram, whatever it might be. You know what? We're in this, right? We are in this. And from, well, one thing I do want to share is that I've seen a lot of alcoholic deaths, right? I've seen a lot of addiction deaths. Okay? It is, it is not pretty.

Hmm. One guy in my, in my A group said, he went back to the doctor to be like, hey, doc, how bad is an alcoholic death? Because he really wasn't willing to give it up, right? There's a possibility out there, guys, that when we go up to be with the Lord, and it was natural that we were sober, that we were clear-minded, that we were free of guilt, of shame, and we were able to triumph in truth, in God's truth, and we're able to transform this trauma and transform these trials into testimonies.

Celebrating Sobriety and Reconnecting

Welcome, guys, to another episode of rebuilding life after addiction. We have two awesome guests today, brother that I met through a sister in Christ, Jordan. So I'm going to say a shout out to Jordan. Thank you so much for introducing Ace to me and Justin. So we have Ace and Luis that are going to be able to share their story and just really peel back some layers of the systems that they put in place to show what it means to not only have a relationship with God, but how to live in community and in freedom in Christ. So excited to share their story today. And yeah, let's begin. Ace and Luis, how are you, man? Thank you guys for jumping on.

Oh, thanks for having us fired up. Yeah. That's good stuff, man. I mean, we had a conversation. Rob, Rob said he talked to you for what, an hour on the phone? Ace, a phone is back. I looked at my phone and was like, wow, I should be going back to work here, but it was such a fire, fire conversation and we, you know, man, we were like ministering to each other and just in prayer and man, I was so grateful for that time. So thanks for having us.

The Journey of Recovery and Transformation

Yeah, dude, I was just telling Justin prior to this call. I said, I don't think I've talked to another man that long and a friend other than me talking to my wife. Hey, it was good. It was good. That's awesome.

I actually love this because it's definitely divine intervention, divine planning, divine appointment because I actually came into town to celebrate Ace's one year of recovery, right? And come on. A month back, I've had two years of recovery myself, right? So I was actually here to celebrate him in the room. And now I'm actually here to celebrate him online with y'all. So it's just God movement to show other men, women, and whomever else is in there, the muck in the mire that it is possible, right?

Yeah, that's awesome. I mean, that's the biggest thing, right? Is being that thread of hope for people because so many people stay trapped and they don't, they don't know that there's another way out, you know, or shame keeps them held up or they don't want to be vulnerable and be open about it. It's just like, man, there are so many of us out there that have struggled with the same thing, but that Jesus has met us in the middle of it.

We had somebody on the call last night and the recurring theme of the conversation was that while we were yet sinners, that’s when Christ died for us. He didn’t wait till we had it all cleaned up or had it all put together, but in our mess, that’s when he met us. And I'm, I'm grateful as I can see, I can see the passion and the fire in your eyes. So why don't you guys, Ace, you want to go first, man? And just kind of jump in and introduce yourself to the audience. Give us a little backstory, you know, and we'll just kick the conversation off that way, man.

Ace's Testimony of Healing and Redemption

Yeah, absolutely. First off, thanks for having me, guys. You know, it’s an honor to have Luis over here and to celebrate my one-year sobriety. You know, this week has been an incredible week of looking back to see God's hand on everything. Well, you know, some 40 years old, one year sober, as I mentioned, I was born in the Philippines, came here when I was about three and a half. Both my parents were law enforcement officers back in the Philippines. We came here because my dad was on a hit list to get to be murdered, taken out, I guess. And so starting out, just moving from one place to another, by the time I was eight years old, we lived in 10 places, spent some time being homeless, and you know, by the grace of God, somebody had taken us in, and at age 10, settled into the Bay Area, California, and kind of grew up there.

I met Luis when I was in high school, so you know, he’s one of my brothers that we reconnected later on, but you know, when we talk about addiction, it's one of those words that when you're dead, when you're dead in the spirit, you think it's another person's problem, but when you're awakened, you see you own it, right? And part of that ownership for me was because I was coming to know that, you know, God really uses people of all walks. Noah was an alcoholic, right? And he uses people with all kinds of issues at any, and those are the things that keep us humble.

The Role of Addiction in Personal Growth

You know, a little bit further on to my story, I work as a respiratory therapist, and I took care of the first community-acquired COVID patient in the country, back in February of 2020, and kind of saw everything from ground zero. You know, in that time, in that confused state, you know, first off, there hasn't been anybody who hasn't been affected by COVID in one way or another. And so, with that being said, there were a lot of uncertainties at the time, and living in uncertain, unprecedented times, I found myself developing post-traumatic stress and not knowing what it was, trying to tough it out, I got into addiction, man. Addiction in the form of alcohol, of pain pills, of illegal substances, marijuana, I wanted to escape real bad, I didn't know how.

So, in December of 21, I had a suicide, I had suicide ideation, suicide attempt, three days before my brother's wedding. I only have one brother, and that was a culmination of a lot of pain, a lot of suffering, a lot of not wanting to feel anymore. However, God had a different story, man. I can know a month later, we ended up in Idaho. Once after that, my wife gave birth to our third child, and it wasn't until the moment of surrender that I can sit here and say that I actually knew what addiction was, and I knew who the Lord was. I had an idea of who the Lord was, but you get to meet the Lord on the way up, but you get to know his character on the way down.

The Importance of Vulnerability and Brotherhood

Yeah, it's just, you know, on the way down for me was a rock bottom, but you know, that was a rock bottom, it was a launching pad, you know, just where I could be directed straight back into relationship with him. I know this was an introduction, but I'm just passionate of what the Lord has done in my life, and I can't thank you.

Yeah, man. That's so good. Yeah, so let me ask Ace, did you have before, so before what you went through during 2020 and all the stuff that, you know, that you experienced, did you struggle with addiction prior to that? Or was this the first time in your life that you had battled addiction and started to, you know, struggle there?

Acknowledging Past Struggles and Understanding Recovery

That's a big question. You know, addiction comes in many forms, and I didn't realize that initially, I thought it was just, you know, crack or meth. There's certain things that I maybe not, maybe I didn't have that specific problem per se, but I had every other problem, you know. I struggled with all kinds of numbing forms, and not to dull it down, but you know, it was the numbing of womanizing, right, right, tasting cakes and tail before I was married, you know, pornography. I struggled with pornography. I struggled with going out to receive affirmation from people, from women, performance-based stuff. I was addicted to basketball. I played seven days a week and tried to have a full-time job, and you know, when it wasn't, you know, it might have been a healthy addiction one area, but there were always things lurking. So to answer your question, I did have addictions. Many of them, I just thought one was less than the other.

Luis's Journey and the Importance of Healing

Yeah, wow, yeah, that's good. Yeah, that's important. I mean, it's an important part of the conversation, right? Because I think that a lot of times when we hear the word addiction, we automatically go to the worst substances, right? And we start to think about the street drugs and all that, you know, and not realize that, you know, I think Rick Warren would celebrate recovery a lot of times. They talk about her tablets and hang-ups, you know, and his big thing is that everybody’s in need of recovery because we all, it's that conversation, you know, everything may be permissible, but not everything's beneficial, but I won't be mastered by anything.

And we need recovery from whatever sin is mastering us, and I think the more, if folks like yourself Ace that are willing to be verbal and verbalize some of this stuff, we can start to break some of the stigma, you know, that exists around this community often. I mean, it's gotten better since 20 years ago, but it's still, there's still a stigma out there, and on, man, I appreciate you being vulnerable and opening up here on this call, on this podcast, in front of the entire internet, man, it's a big deal. Rob, did you have something? I saw, I see you over there stewing, man, so I just want you.

The Impact of Personal History

I mean, there's so much, and we'll dive into that later, but Louis, go, Louis, please share your portion of the story as well. I'm absolutely pretty unique that you guys knew each other back in high school, and now you guys are rekindled, you guys are both coming from an addiction past now, so it's interesting how you flew out to where he's at right now.

Correct. Yeah, how powerful is that, man? Community, right? That's a whole nother like streamlined of conversation, but I don't want to go too far into that, so please share a little bit of your testimony or background if you can just introduce yourself.

Absolutely. I'm Luis Marquez, and let me tell you this, that God is real. God can and will do what a prescription jug, what a meeting, what a room, what a therapist cannot do, and that's absolutely healed. And I'll tell you about my background really quick. I say for myself, I come from fumble beginnings, not humble beginnings, because for me, the ball has dropped a lot.

I was never held as a child. I grew up in a home that was chaotic, a lot of deception, a lot of darkness. I witnessed my father cheat on my mom as a young kid, my drunk uncles, and my father at four years old introducing me to pornography. They sat me in the living room and had me there, and it was just where I laughed at me. I had to save my mother from my own father by calling the cops on her as a young child. I could call him the cops on him to stop beating on her.

Overcoming a Chaotic Background

And even after he left, the abuse from my mother continued on with me because I was my dad's child. And high school and middle school, no one saw that because I put on a good smile, I put on a good show because that was my only outlet was to be the clown, was to be happy in any way, shape, or form I could be. In the midst of that, the only source of light and happiness and relationship to Jesus that I knew of, because I grew up Catholic, was my grandmother, my dad's mom, who planted the seed of love from Jesus in me, unbeknownst to me at the time.

So through all that little high school, I was being abused a lot. I was, man, there’s just so many stories to tell, right? But there was one incident where if the gun was there where it should have been, I would not be here today, and that was 15 years old. I came out of that real quick, and I understand there is God, and he’s looking out for me. So at 17, I became homeless by choice because the streets were actually safer than my own home, and this is in California. I was living in California at the time, born and raised in San Jose.

I went to high school at my petas, because my mom had remarried and took us there, but I went back to San Jose when I became homeless. And for 17 to 19, I was living out of my car. I was dating someone who was involved with gangs, and I had to survive, so I became affiliated, and I was staying with people that I shouldn't have been staying with, if it was any parent, right? But those people introduced me to hard drugs, hard alcohol, hard partying, and I had to do anything I had to to survive, right?

Finding Strength in Struggles

Mind you, it felt good because I quickly learned a quick way to mask, and I wouldn't say heal, but Band-Aid the wounds that was projected onto me and unleashed on me from infancy up until my teenage years, right? And I found myself in and out of jail because of drinking, because of using, and I quickly came to terms that that was in the life that was destined for my life. That I didn't want to become a statistic, that my life meant more than going to be a number on a number on a California report, a number on a national report.

So I asked for a Bible one time when I was incarcerated when my way early 20s is like 20 plus years ago, and I got filled with the word, and I loved the word, and I wanted to become a pastor at a very young age, so let me tell you my bless her, bless her soul, my mother, after I was released, I went back to her house, and I was preaching the word and the gospel, and I was just loving life, and I felt this fire inside of me, and she's like, "Who are you?" Talking about God this, God that. Who are you? I don't know if you are anymore. I want my son back, means she wanted to form herself, and to hear that from your own mother, who for years I wanted her affirmation, for years I wanted her affection, and for years I practiced being a perfect child that was never perfect enough for her to receive that.

Navigating Trauma and Healing

Going back to the streets, right? So I had an in and out relationship with the street life, not by choice, but I had no other way to survive, right? I've gone to treatments, I've gone to therapy, I've gone to counseling, I've had prescription drugs that, because they were labeled me ADHD, or this and that, with the other, and I took them, and I didn't feel mean, so I stopped it, and I went to a treatment center. If I can say it, I went to college, because I had a son, I had a wedlock, and I found a passion for that. Man, I've led a lot of Marxism rallies and protests.

I know I have a strong calling in my life, I just was dealt the wrong cards, so I did the best with those cards that I could, right? And lo and behold, the Lord found me. And though it happened in 2010, I say this that I was prematurely born at 2010, because I wasn't ready to live that life and receive that life, so I was a premature reborn Christian.

The Journey After Loss and Finding Hope

And yeah, three years of battle, I let the drugs a long time ago, but my drug of choice was alcohol and photography, and, right? And yeah, I just moved forward, and the one thing that really took me off my game, and was my last ride on that sad train of self-loathing, was in 2018. I finally was finally married, serving the Lord in ministry, a relaunch of youth ministry. I was in a ministry of financial program, I was a good Christian, I was tithing, I had a son with my wife, and five weeks later, the Lord called them back home to this work business.

And that part right there, three days after Christmas, carrying my son's box to his final resting place. Forget about it. Yeah, but with any man for evil, I would use it for good, right? And yeah, I went for a run after that, a hard run for five days, I was gone, I was gone, and my wife, I found a Mr. Persuport on me. I didn’t want to live anymore, but God. But God, right?

Finding Restoration Through Community and Support

So it all started, yeah. It all started with the seed that your grandmother, we were talking about this last night, man, and I can't, wow, I can't get over the fact that God will take something so small as a seed, his word, and planted in you, even though he knows what you're going to go through. He's still like, it's remarkable to me, the power of our words, right? Because both of you guys said this, is that you guys were seeking affirmation, you guys were seeking just, you were chasing after this, this word, right?

And God gave you the word, lo and behold, and in the dark place it began to germinate and began to grow, and brought forth life, and it's due season, right? What does he say? I think it's in the book of Isaiah, or he says, he says that my word goes forth, but does not come back void, it goes forth to serve its purpose. And it's remarkable to see that you guys are brought back together, and I'm going to kind of like navigate this, but as I can't help but not have you kind of touch on when you first gave your heart to the Lord, because in our conversation that we have on the phone, July 31st is a, not just the day of your sobriety brother. It's bigger than that, and so there's significance behind that, and so if you can share that with our audience, why that's such a special day, not just a new creation, but it's even bigger than that.

The Significance of July 31st

Having seen a lot of death during, in my profession, especially during COVID, and something is tragic is what Luis went through. Here, Luis and his wife and his family went through. You know, God gave me like a heart of compassion because he's allowed me to have experiences that of him because he's got me. My grandmother, her name is Merce, so her name, her name means Merce. She died in my arms when I was 22 years old. At the time, I was a hotshot basketball college kid who just had a lot of testosterone, I guess, at that time, at 23 years old, a lot of energy out of just serving my, but my grandmother, she passed away in my arms, and I didn't know how to resuscitate her. I gave a couple of breaths under my dad's direction, and looking back, every patient that I took care of, once I became a respiratory therapist at age 29, I kept thinking it was my grandmother, and I wanted to bring them back to life like every patient was my family member.

Every baby that I'm blessed to be able to be a part of the recovery is a child of God. I think of these patients of mine, especially young ones, as man, they could be the president of the United States one day. I mean, it’s not that hard, but anyway, that's a whole different. But with my grandmother, I told my mom about three weeks ago, that mom, hey, mom, it's my birthday, my birthday’s coming up, and she’s like, your birthday, your birthday is in December, and I said, no, my birthday is on July 30th, it's coming up, and she said, hey, it's no, it's December, to mom, seriously, the 30th of July. She said, well, that's your grandmother's birthday.

The Power of Divine Timing

And so what I realized was that a hundred years to the day, sobriety chose me, sobriety chose me to get sober on that day on July 30th, 2022, and this year when I celebrated my one year, I got to celebrate to see that my grandma put it in my heart. Oh, dude. And so these are things you can get me every time, dude. God, that gives me every single time, dude.

God is so good. Come on. The Rulak, the breath of God, come on, think about this, think about this. He made you a respirator therapist, however you call it, right? I don't really know the terminology. But now you're breathing life back into the lost, the dead. Come on. Wow. He says, I'm going to take the dead things and put them in your arms. And I'm going to use you as a vessel to breathe life back into their souls.

Personal Reflection and Transformation

I'm going to restrain from speaking in tongues right now because the Holy Spirit in me just wants to act foolish, but God is so good. Yeah, man. Man, wow, sorry.

Yeah, you're good. Yeah, I talk a lot, man. I don't really get caught speechless too much. Like I just, I'm just processing everything that you just said and everything, you know, like your journey, man, and it's just, there’s no, I mean, you know, there's, how else do you put words to it other than just to say the Lord? You know, I mean, as Rob just said, I mean, just watching God shape this journey and all things truly working together, even in the middle of it, it is, it's a lot, man, and I, yeah, well, I accept those things with, with, with a, with a heart that's ready to accept it, right? Realizations, affirmations from, from safe men who have gone through these types of struggles, right? Who have experienced the grace of God in his mercy and who can sit there and also mention that he is so good because that's where, you know, it's hard for me to say like he's great and all that stuff because that would mean that my emotionally, I'm like, oh, I'm happy all the time because he makes me happy all the time. No, it's, it’s in those low seasons that his grace is sufficient, man. It just, it’s more than enough and it, it teaches, it, it rebukes, it loves, it builds up.

The Call for Authentic Relationships

You know, when Luis mentioned about having fumbled beginnings, oh, yeah, that’s just the beginning, bro. His whole life, you know, his whole life has been a whole, that's a redemption story, right? It’s a sanctification process that, you know, we talked about earlier today about protecting our testimonies, right? Not letting people down, not disappointing people, but more so, what was it? Do you remember what we, do you remember we, um, yeah, no, it's not, I mean, the whole idea of protecting our testimony, it's not a thing of pride, you know? It’s a thing of just, you know, constant, not living in shame and it’s not a shame-driven thing, but it’s just knowing that like, as God begins to do this renewing work in us, that as we start to testify and share our story and Rob and I talked about this on a podcast a few weeks ago, Paul had a measure of growth and grace in his life to be able to stand up and say, follow me as I follow Christ, right?

Growing into Our Salvation

And there needs to be some self-acknowledgment that I am following in order to say that to other people. And that's part of the testimony. It’s like, man, once we discover that treasure in a field, you know, we’re running out, we’re selling everything we can to go and pursue that treasure and to go find it, but then we’re telling everybody else about the same treasure we found. And we just, man, we just don’t want to, we don’t want to disrupt that, you know? We want to protect the testimonial Lord’s work in us because we know how significant it is.

Healing Through Community

And I love, I love to hear that, man. That’s so powerful. Well, Justin, dude, like when you think about it, right? What Paul says, present your body, right? Which is your reasonable act of service? I love that you called it worship. You know, because we have this idea in our mind that worship is, you know, just lifting of hands, which it is, right? We live our hands, but worship is so much more complex than what we’ve been taught. Come on, because you have to understand, when they would worship the Lord, often at times, there was no music playing. And so it’s an outpouring of everything that’s in you. And so like, I love how, like Ace said, you said this earlier, you know, what the enemy meant for evil, God intended for good.

Overcoming a Difficult Past

And so there’s nothing that God does not use. It’s like there’s scraps on the plate. And what do we do? We want to throw them in the trash. And addicts are often looked at as scraps on the plate. Yeah. I want nothing else to do with you. You’re the leftovers. You’re the remain. You’re like the gum on the bottom of a table. And guys, like, I can do something with this because I’m the mastermind in making masterpieces. Amen. And so God took your story and did such a remarkable thing. And now, as you said, like the kids that weren't, I was never held. So I have, you know, like, it's like, it’s kind of like what Paul talked about. Like, I did all these things because I thought this was hard. New God wasn’t. Now he’s like, oh, I got to do things different now.

You know, he’s like forgetting the former things to reach forward to. And it’s just like, man, dude, like, I don’t even know, bro. Like my words, I’m stumbling over my words right now because I’m in just such amazement at the testimony of the two of you guys and the community that you've established. After so many years of no communication, yeah. It took your pain to rekindle that love, that relationship. So what does that say? Like, let’s talk about this a little bit, guys. For people that are going through pain that are addicts, how would you say that we should view it? Rather than this like, what was me? How should we view our pain? How do we redirect our pain? Even if we’ve overcome addiction, what systems have you guys put in place today that when pain does come or troubles do come, the storms, the wind, as Justin mentioned earlier, the water, the rain, what systems do you guys have in place that keeps you grounded?

Embracing the Process of Healing

It’s a great question. You know, with addicts or with myself, there was something missing. There, it wasn’t the substance, it wasn’t the alcohol. All those things were replacements for something missing. Now, when we don’t know, when I choose not to see God as an abundant God, as a life-giving God, as the alpha, the omega, the healer, as someone who has, as someone who demonstrates love you when I don’t deserve it, like a copy, right? Just I don’t deserve none of this, but he’s still there. When I look at addicts, just like when I look at myself in the mirror, I see someone that’s missing something that God’s just licking at it, licking his chops, ready to come in there and just give me what I’ve been so thirsty to have.

For so long. You know like a dried out wineskin just going back to whatever it might be, he’s ready to, you know, the Lord’s ready to change everything up, renew my lungs, renew my liver, renew my brain. You know, after, I think it’s, it’s 12 years, either 10 or 12 years, every cell in our bodies are renewed. So if you reach 10 or 12 years, there are no cells that still remain from your addiction. Like there’s none. God can use us. And when I see people that, when I see myself going condemning myself for my past addictions, you know, I like to play this song. I play this song, The Reason by Huba Stank. If you have a chance to play it, play it on licking it up here and sing it to yourself, right? That is, it’s a song for you. It’s a song to let you know that, yeah. Can I go down that thread a little bit more on what you said about the emptiness and trying to figure that out, right? And, and so, so what about for the individual that might, might be, you know, knowing there’s an emptiness, they just can’t quite figure out what, what, need in them they're trying to fill?

The Process of Discovering True Healing

You know what I’m saying? How did you guys get there? Like, like I know, we know that the substance is alcohol, the drugs, pornography, whatever it may be, is filling that hole inside of us, right? And sometimes that hole exists because of past experiences and stuff that we walk through. And so how, how did that journey discovery take place? And either one of you guys are welcome to answer this for you to figure out what, what that was, you know, because sometimes we know we’re struggling with something, but we may not have the language or know how to quite put words to what we’re dealing with, you know?

First and foremost, to those listening, to those watching, I say this, it’s not your fault. It’s not your fault you’re abused. It’s not your fault you went to go use. It’s not your fault that you continue to abuse your body, your mind, your heart, your relationships because whatever happened to you, you’re numbing that, that pain, that feeling, you’re not loving yourself because you feel you’re not worthy of love. Friend, you are. When I flipped the switch of realizing that I was done searching and yearning for man’s affirmation and all that it was his, that was a game changer in my life. 180.

The Journey of Surrender and Community

Personally, the pain is real, right? The addiction is the proof, but I had to go deep, deep into the root of the cause of why I was a numbing, why I was masking, why I was betraying my own future, right? So after I said my son had passed the way I surrendered because I was ready to leave my six-figure income, my wife, my family, everything that I worked so hard to become. I was ready to give all that up, get a tent, my dog, and my nine-millimeter and live in the streets, right? And just live in shame. But God, I remember, I remember looking in that mirror and in the bar for my last drink and holding back tears, but I felt the Holy Spirit just get a hold of me and saying, child, you were so much more.

And when I felt that, I knew, I knew, even though I’ve gone to rehab before, or I’ve gone to treatment before, I knew this time instead of doing for other people, I had to do it for me. So I surrendered, I became obedient, and I submitted myself to, I wanted to do a year-long program, the Lord had me to a six-month program, and because of that program, because I actually was obedient to the Lord for the first time in my life, and said, I can’t do it anymore on my terms, I want to do it on yours. He told me for the first two months of my life, which is, oh my Lord, it was the hardest thing ever, it was to be still and know that I am God.

The Power of Transformation Through Faith

And when that happened, revelation after revelation, things started coming out, and I was now in a safe space, even though that was a house of men that were just as torn from the floor of us I was, but I was in a safe environment where I knew that in order for me to be healed from this pain. So for those of you that are dealing with your pain, it’s real, claim it, give it a voice, but release it. The more you release it, the more I spoke about it, now that I’m more free than ever, and now it doesn’t have a grip on me, right? I am no longer gripped by my pain.

Why? Because I allowed the Lord to open it up, pick out all that pastiness that was in there, that was I was bad-aiding it and putting gum on it, or whatever I could, just to not get healed, and actually do the work. It’s going to take work. It’s going to take work.

The Blessings of Community and Healing

It’s powerful, brother. And so you would say, you know, I think I’m so glad you went to that part about the Holy Spirit and what the Lord was doing, because like, you know, at Rob and I, we’re on this podcast, and we’re doing this stuff, and it’s so, I mean, the spiritual factor, right? The Jesus factor and all of this is so key, and I’m, you know, I don’t have any ill feelings toward those who could sober outside of, you know, finding Christ, but for this context, we know that that relationship with the Lord and digging in and allowing Holy Spirit ultimately to uncover stuff that we have buried so deep.

But then the word is like a mirror, right? I mean, it is, it is a mirror for our lives, and as we start to dig into that, that’s when that stuff starts to come up. And you know, without Christ doing that work, I’m so glad you went there, man, and on and dove into that part of it because it’s so, so, so valuable.

What’s amazing to me is that, going back into your story, life basically began when you guys joined together again. Now, hear me out on this, you were broken, you lost a life, he came in, he saw, he saw your need, it’s just like in the children of Israel, when they’re in the wilderness, they’re crying out, Lord help, help, help, they’re in Egypt, they’re in slavery, help. What a God’s, he saw a need, what he do, he met the need, and so people develop life, develop freedom through community. It’s so important that we have community, but not just community amongst one another, community in Christ, because as we develop that relationship with Christ, then we can have an authentic relationship with man.

Living a Life of Transformation

And so it’s so important, it’s so impactful, but what we do is it’s like what the children of Israel also did, they gained freedom, they gained deliverance, and what they do, they went right back to the very same thing again, and this is where a lot of, this is what brought our burden and our concern, to really even launch this is because we’ve witnessed so many brothers and sisters go through addiction, relapse, and sometimes not even come out on the other side.

And so they profess Christ, but there was still this void, yeah. And so identifying where that void is, but also the importance of having the community when you’re going through that emptiness or that brokenness is vital in bringing you back to life. It’s so powerful, and you know, regarding community, you know, if it’s okay to share a couple of the communities that have helped me along my journey, is that okay?

Finding Healing Through Support

So back in September of 22, I attended save a warrior in Hillsboro, Ohio, which is a suicide prevention program for veterans and first responders. As we know, there’s 22 veterans a day that commit suicide if you add birth responders, and also now the new statistic is healthcare workers, that statistic is roughly about 40 a day. Now, these are people that serve the community that show up to work.

And so, you just got to do it, man, it’s not easy, right? It’s not easy. It’s easier to pick up the needle. It’s harder to put the needle down, you know? And so I think a lot of us, right? It was, that was the hardest thing. I think the lady that we had on last night, she kind of like set a two. She was like, yeah, I had the blunt and was ready, was rolled, and I was just going to smoke that thing and be like, this is my last one. I’m going to go out with a bang. And I remember when I was in my dictionary, I was like, I’m going to shoot up a mini pills and crack cocaine at once before I go on my little trip to get well.

But it was like, no, at what cost? The cost of potentially dying. And so we think our last is our last, but our last is really probably and could be potentially our death. And so now is the time. This is the time. If you’re listening, don’t wait. I remember this like it was yesterday. Couldn’t stand the guy, but he said this always at RTC. He ended up being a crack and hopefully he saved and delivered now, but anyways, he said, if not now, then when. If not now, he always would come into chapel. He had a slides on his do rag on, look like he just hopped out the bed and he would always be mad at us, but he always be like, hey, if not now, then when? And those words stuck with me to this day. And so I thank him for that because the same goes for us. If not now, then when, when are we going to get ourselves together?