Matt Cross: From 12-Year-Old Addict to School Board Chairman

Reflecting on the Journey

All these thoughts are like, God, I've done all these things and yet I find myself back at this place again. I didn't know how those kids were going to turn out. So I never judged the kids by their appearance, the family they came from or anything like that because God had done that in my life. Like he brought me from the gutters and what enabled me to live a good life. I wanted to know that it doesn't matter what they were born into, it doesn't matter what they've gone through. It doesn't matter how far they've sinned or what's happened to them, whether they grew up rich or poor, whether they have an education or not, that if God calls you to do something, he'll give you the ability to do it.

Introduction to the Podcast

Well, man, welcome to another episode of Rebuilding Life After Addiction. Thank you guys again so much for tuning in. My name is Justin Franich. I'm excited to have you here today. Again, if you're new here, please hit the like button, subscribe to the channel as we continue to provide inspiring content and inspiring stories to help you rediscover your purpose and find a life after addiction because that's really what it's all about. And I'm excited about having my guest today on, Pastor Matt Cross. Matt, how are you, man?

Doing good for all the thanks for having me on today.

A Life of Service

Yeah, man, I appreciate it. Sorry, checking the audio real quick. I had too many instances where everything crashed after recording didn't realize it until I've been talking for 45 minutes. But man, I'm excited to connect and sit down and chat with you. Thank you, brother. It's exciting. We're here at the Path Church and, man, so you've had a journey, right?

Yeah. You're the associate pastor here at the church. You've worked as a CEO in the jails. You've been a sheriff. You ran for school board. You got attacked and called all sorts of names. I don't know if that's still happening or not. But yeah, I'm still a big target with the racist rate when it happens.

But before all of that, I've known you for a while and I remember hearing some of your testimony, pieces of it throughout the year and how the Lord got ahold of your life. Like you had some addiction struggles in your life. I'd love to just hear you kind of take us back to the beginning. Like how did Matt, you know, end up a drug addict, you know, dealing with this type of stuff before all of the cool stuff that you've got to do since?

Early Struggles with Addiction

Yeah. Thanks for that. You know, I was just thinking here recently, just how I can remember being like maybe 10, 11 years old. My parents were going through a divorce and I remember driving down. I can almost point you out on the interstate 81 where we were driving. My family had moved from Stuart's Draft and made the journey up here to Rockingham County where my dad was working in the hospital. I used to fix the CT scanners that you're going to get to see CT scan. And I can just remember just thinking to myself, man, I really want to grow up and be someone that helps others. I didn't know at 10, 11 years old what that meant. But I knew that there was a passion inside of me that I just wanted to help people.

So that’s just funny how I think about that going back and seeing where God's brought my life and where the enemy tried to take me at a young age and through addiction and to see what God has done through my life just by being. I am not only faithful because you know sometimes we're not faithful but he's still faithful.

Right. Yeah, for sure. And so it's nothing that I've done. I've earned any of this. It's been the grace of God that has helped me along the way and has kept me along the way. And so I started doing drugs when I was like 12 years old. I can remember that was the first time where I started smoking weed when I was 12. And it just led down from smoking cigarettes to getting drunk to getting high to the time when I graduated high school. Me and my buddies were going up to Baltimore to buy cocaine.

And that was at the end of my me graduating high school was kind of— I was already burned out. Some kids they graduate, they go off to college and get their party and stay out of them. And I was full throttle from like sixth grade on. When I came to faith in 1998 as a senior in high school, I was just searching for God.

Seeking Transformation

Yeah, a lot of things happened leading up to that but I started when I was 12. Everybody talks about addiction, right? And addiction is not really the root but it's the fruit of what's going on on the inside. So at 12 years old, 13 years old, starting to experience—was it a response to maybe any particular event? I know you mentioned your parents got divorced and whatnot, or was it modeled for you?

I mean influences in your life, like what kind of, you know, what makes a 12-year-old start using drugs?

Yeah, I think mine was out of curiosity at first. First of all, I was raised for the most part—when I was sixth grade, my mom and dad got divorced, my mom stayed in Maine. I came, me and my three brothers, with my dad back to Virginia and had a lot of free time on my hand, right? And so I was just hanging out, kicking it with my friends in the high school.

And just that was the part where I think I didn't have that structure and I had that freedom to kind of go and the drugs, I think, led into more like just kind of more a lot of fear working in my mind and things like that. To where I think that fear inside my life was being masked by the addiction as well. Like, you know—getting high to just fit in, to also mask some of the pain, you know, that also—that I went through just as a child growing up and your parents going through the voice and the things you hear, the things you see.

And then add to that having all that free time with no structure in my life. Like I look at my kids now—me being a dad and, you know, I still don't have it all together, right? But I look at my kids and I'm like, man, you've got it so much better than what I had. They don't even know, but you know, I've taken my kids on mission trips out of the country. My dad couldn't afford that when I was a kid.

Parent Reflection

And so, you know, we grew up struggling. So I think there's a lot of admiration there for your dad. I'm sure, yeah, I mean love that guy. Yeah, good guy. And my mom and dad are some of the best people. They went through—they struggled a lot. My mom grew up basically as an orphan and I was brought in, and she had a hard life growing up. And so I have a lot of respect for my mom. But I mean, that's uncommon too though. I mean you think about hearing this story. Like you don't hear all three kids grow on a dad too often.

Right, and so for your dad to fight through that, I mean that's incredible.

Yeah, it was four of us. That was four of us that decided to go back with dad. We had moved to Maine and I was dad saying that we all went ahead too unless we said let's go back to Rockingham. It was all about sports at the time, you know, for us because we were playing baseball and basketball. But man, that was about 12 years old when I started doing drugs and it just led me down a bad path.

Yeah, you know, let's fast forward then. So you said, you mentioned earlier that by the time you hit 18, 19, like you're just done. You just burned yourself out. Like a lot of people do run that race for years and never get free. Was there a turning point anywhere in there that, you know, you kind of got to this point after that's a six-year period, right? Starting at 12, it's significant. I mean, that's a formative years of our lives influenced by different substances and whatnot. So what was the turning point that kind of started to shift your life?

The Turning Point

Well, the turning point man was one evening. It was dark time. I was riding my bicycle down on the road to my older brother's house. He lived down the road in the apartment. I heard a voice, which I believe was just the voice of Satan, the voice of the enemy say, "I got you now." And when I heard that, like that fear like just was like it struck me and it struck me like to my core. And it really led me like on—I didn't know what it was at the time, but I experienced my first panic attack.

That panic attack led me just into anxiety, a lot of fear, a lot of worry, things like that. And that was my turning point. I began to seek God at that time. I remember my dad took us to a Christian church when I was younger and I started reading the Bible. It was a King James Bible, you know. But my dad had a lot of these verses highlighted in the Bible and I didn't understand it when I read it.

My favorite verse when I came to faith was Matthew 11:28-30. It’s the verse where Christ says, "Come on to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I'll give you rest." Take up my yoke. Learn of me, for my yoke is easy and my burden is light, and you shall find rest for your souls. And when I heard that word yoke, Justin, like the only yoke I knew was egg yolk. I wasn't a country boy. I grew up in rural Virginia, but I wasn't a country boy.

Finding Faith

And so I’m like the Bible—like was foreign to me, black me in the face of the name. Like what do you mean yoke? Like I didn't understand it. But one thing I understood was that when I read the word, there was peace that followed. And so even though I'm sitting down reading this book that I don't understand, it's giving me peace as I read it.

And so I started going to this church this guy had brought—had asked my dad to come to, and it was an old-time Pentecostal holiness church that they brought me to. And that's where I heard for the first time an old lady speaking in tongues. My dad was a good Baptist guy, right?

Can you set the stage for the second Pentecostal holiness, right, for the audience who may not understand or have the—okay, have the—what does that mean, right? Pentecostal? What’s it like in a typical Sunday morning Pentecostal holiness church?

So I walk into the church, baggy jeans. You know, I looked like Bob Marley, I tell people all the time. And I washed my hair, but I didn’t wash it too well, so you know, I had knots in the back of my hair. Just like a hippie kid growing up. So I walk into this church and the pastor that Sunday night or Wednesday, I wish when it was, he preached on men having long hair. Well, I'm the only man in there, sitting, or young guys that are in there with long hair, to change the message when he saw you walking.

Yeah, I think he was inspired. And seriously solving it. So, you know, the women were real long dresses, no makeup, hair usually up in a bun, all the men of suit and ties. Nothing wrong with that, you know, I mean, but it was just here I am coming off, you know, kind of the streetwise—not like gangster street, but just like I'm coming out of addiction, coming out of, like I told you, 12 years old. I just started going hard.

I walk into that church and I can remember they had a brick background in the church and I remember like seeing a vision of Jesus's face and He was smiling at me. And I thought to myself, I was like, God, how could you be smiling at me? This little bit of exiting and fear and stuff I'm going through back, or I've ever seen the face of Jesus smiling at me at that time. And I went forward to the altar one night and I was like, no one came and laid hands on me in okay with anything. It was just me at the altar saying, God, if you can use me. And that's where my journey began as a 12th grader in high school.

Transformation in Law Enforcement

I can remember not long after that, Justin, that I was walking down the hallway and this assistant administrator was there who never had one conversation with me, didn't know me, but you know I looked rough. You know, I had long hair, baggy jeans. I was just—I'm sure they knew. Like, you know, I was the kid using drugs and drinking and things like that. And he came up to me and he said, you know, I've seen kids like you, and I know how they turn out.

And that's the only thing he said to me. I was like, well, I knew he wasn't telling me like I'm going to Harvard, going to some Ivy League school, things are going to be great. He was telling me I've seen kids like you, and they end up in jail and prison in the grave. And the only thing I knew was to look to him, I said, "Okay," and I walked away.

But one thing he didn't know at that time was that I had given my life to Christ and even though I looked the same on the outside, there was something happening on the inside that was taking root inside my life. And so when I walked back into that school a decade later as a school resource officer, that's why I say God's got a sense of humor, right? Yeah, I was the last person to succeed out of my class, I'm sure. I was the last person anyone ever believed would ever go into law enforcement, right? And the sheriff of Rockingham looked at me and said, "You know, I see your background, what you've shared, your drugs and things like that."

An Unexpected Path

He said, "I truly believe you're a changed man," and he said, "I'm going to give you an opportunity." And that’s where he started me out in the jail, and I just kind of went from there on for a 12-year journey in a law enforcement career. So how did that process play out? Like going from being in the school, having these negative words spoken to you to 10 years later coming back and, yeah, I’m here as a school resource officer? Like that's—it's wild, right?

You know, it wasn't like, you know, I came out of addiction, came out of that and boom right into, you know, being a sheriff. I think there was probably about—probably almost a decade, you know, between that. Like I started—I think I began law enforcement when I was 27, so it was almost a decade of me changing. Like I remember that first time I got pulled over after I'm all coming out of addiction and coming out of being doing drugs and everything else.

Like when I got pulled over, like I was cool with the cop. I saw the blue lights, I didn't freak out like, "Oh shit, I run," or "What should I do?" That was a good feeling when you finally come out and like you get pulled over by a cop, you're like, "Okay, sure." Yeah, man, it's a good feeling.

Building Trust with Law Enforcement

Let me ask you about that relationship with authority though because it is tumultuous, right, for those in addiction. And I mean, how important would you say it is to get that mindset shifted for those struggling with addiction? Because I know even— I know people even 10, 15, 20 years later, they still struggle with that dynamic with law enforcement, and they have just like these trust issues and all of that stuff.

Of course, we live in a culture today that doesn't make it easier. Like we're being told all the time. So how important is that dynamic for somebody, you know?

Yeah, I will—you know, just not the—the one thing that stood out to me when I went into law enforcement was when I was sitting in the police academy and they asked, they said, "What was the number one reason why you wanted to come into this—get into this profession?" And 98% of the people in that classroom said because they wanted to help people. And I think for a majority of police officers, that's what they want to do.

Yeah, they do want to help people. But in every profession, you have bad apples, you know. I believe me, even teachers, some of them not good people, right? Working in law enforcement I know. But that doesn't put a bad—like we know teachers are good, right? And so I think the law enforcement as a whole, they want to help people and sometimes the best help that someone can get is to go to jail.

Because that gets them away from the addiction. It helps them go get out of the place where they're at and maybe a fresh start for them. But I think people can begin to look at law enforcement as, you know, they're there to help too. I know some of them are arrogant, they're jerks, things like that. Right? We talked about a second ago. But that's not all of them, right?

There are a lot of them there that do want to help and see you get free and not have to come arrest you. You know, it took me a few years, but I mean I have to be pulled away from that car, that told the guys, I said, "You got to understand this dude, he rolls up. I mean, all you guys look like you're up to something." Yeah, all of us do!

It's just like— I told the guys that day, I said, "We just taught a lesson." Yeah, when you're doing right, you ain't got to worry about it. You know? And it is what it is. Like I'm not gonna make their life more difficult. You know, you mentioned that thread though of helping others.

Yeah, because you mentioned that early on in the story. Yeah, you heard God say that to you. Yeah, way back in the day. And throughout your life, I mean that after getting free, yeah, that's kind of been the drive—quit my job—all in on the Kingdom. Yeah. You know, sheriff's office, helping others, and then other pursuits after that.

Embracing Community

Has there been like relapses over the years and that type of pursuit? Would you say that it contributed toward it or, you know what I'm saying?

Right, no, you know, I've had zero relapses of going back to drugs, right? Like zero relapses. Even with alcohol, I've wanted to be drunk or being drunk, zero. Yeah, I remember I woke up one day in my own throw up from just a very bad party the night before, and my brother wakes me up like around 11 o'clock next morning like, "Matt, we got to get out of here." Yeah. And I got throw up just dried to me, and I was still in the process then of like when I got saved.

It wasn't like I got saved and all of a sudden boom, you know, I'm free from all the drugs and alcohol and fear and things like that. It was a process that God took me through, right? And trusting Him and walking with Him. And so I haven't had relapses with any of the drugs, addiction. I will say this—like I said earlier, I was in my 30s and I had a second panic attack.

I don't know if people have experienced— I know some people have experienced these panic attacks, and man, that sent me back remembering of what I came out of back when I was 19 years old. And it was four years, I'm just in of going through like my faith—everything seemed like it was being shaken at the time. And I did a lot of research on this and a lot of studying, but a lot of preachers, old preachers would say that it was a dark season of the soul.

Navigating Dark Times

And I went through a season like that in 2016. And I'm a cop, right? And I'm in this position to help others, and I'm a pastor. I'm going on mission trips, I'm preaching in the pulpit, I'm serving the Lord. But internally, man, my faith was being shaken. Yeah, and the fear, the anxiety, all that stuff was real. And I can remember laying in my bed one night with my wife, and she just was holding on to me and praying over me.

And we got insane that Kim Clement used to say, "I see you in the future and you look a lot better than you do right now." And she just would prophesy that over me and I remember her saying, "Do you want to go see a counselor or something like that?" And I'm telling her, "Listen, if I go to a counselor as a cop and I tell them the things I'm dealing with, they're probably going to say I don't have a job."

Yeah, so here I am, I’m a dad, I'm a pastor, you know, I'm in law enforcement, and I'm dealing with these things, and I feel like God is nowhere to be found. Yeah, and it was a dark season of a soul for me. Yeah, and God again brought me out of that dark place in my life.

Finding Hope in God

And showed me that His goodness is greater than any darkness that can ever come. Yeah, and so no, I never had a relapse back to drugs and I didn't even turn to drugs during that time, right? Yeah, like I knew my only hope was Christ. Yeah, and so I remember being out mowing the grass, you know, mowing the grass here at the church, and I'm just weeping and crying and remembering that verse in Job that says, "Although the Lord may slay me yet will I trust in Him."

And I said, I said, "God, although the even if I die in the situation, you know, I felt like He had abandoned me." The enemy would say, "I'm in the exact same spot I was when I came out of addiction." Yeah, God's not real, right? You know, you're in that same place. You know, this is a figment of your imagination, all these things.

The Importance of Testimony

And that’s really what I want people to know, man. Like the work in progress. I would say to those people, it's like you’re—that there is healing on the other side, you know? Yeah, not easy, but God will bring you through it. You know? It’s worth fighting for as hard as it may be. Yeah. And so you mentioned your life and past it and now being such a strong voice right during that season. And so family, right?

So you've— you weren't married while an addict, you didn't have kids while an addict. You know you came out on the other side of that, so kids had never known that part of my life. They've never known you as that. So, but do they know the story a little bit?

Sharing Your Story with Family

No, little bit. Okay, because as a father, I've not wanted to glamorize any of the stuff that I did, right? Like especially when they're a young age, like I’ll tell them more as they get older. Like I tell my oldest ones some things now, and he's like, "Dad, you did what?" Right? You know, but I never—I remember hearing stories of my dad of him smoking weed and doing things, and in some ways it kind of glamorized that, and to when I became a teenager, I was like, "Well, I'm going to have my own story. I'm going to try it myself."

And although he wasn't trying to do that, I just saw a pitfall there as a parent. Like, "Hey, you know, I think every generation should be better." Right? Like I want my kids to be better than me. And so I knew that was a pitfall— to not to glamorize my past with them. Yeah. So I think about like—I'm asking a question about parenting and all that for a second because I think about, so my parents did the best they could, right? And as all of our parents do, and of course they didn't know what they didn't know.

But when I was growing up, I had a desktop computer in my bedroom, you know? 56K internet. Yeah, I'm fed access to Napster. Important! Yeah, yeah. You know? And so my proclivity to fall into that addiction, right? When I was a teenager, now I'm hyper. Where's a parent, you know, with my kids' phones? Oh yeah, my oldest just got her phone like a year ago. She's 14, 15. We home school so we don't—we told them, like, you don't need it for—everybody is going to call us now. You know, what do you call?

You know, but like—but they know and like I'll grab the phone, like I'm checking your device. Yeah. I'm holding you accountable. Yeah. And so my experience as a teenager falling into addiction has greatly impacted the way that I father, you know, in the way that I parent. And so I just be sure, is what maybe ever your past and what you've been through has impacted the way that you parent your kids today?

Navigating the Modern World

Yeah, I was obviously there thinking. When you're saying that, I'm a little bit older than you, and the internet didn't get popular until like I was out of school, like 1998. Like I graduated 1998, so I’m, you know, dial-up internet, AOL for all of us. You've got to be messaging like—that was all right when I graduated, right? And so I didn't have to deal with pornography in that sense.

Like mine was always to people all the time, like I had to be brave enough to go up to the 7-Eleven encounter with the old lady—mine and has a smoker call for the ask her for the hustler magazine behind the camera. What did you bring that kind of shame? BACK. You know, it would make it like it wasn't right. Yeah, right. That's healthy.

Yeah, it was though. Like go and look it up on your phone, like sitting in your bedroom. Like our kids now, we talked about, right? And so I—I had to—like my wife’s really good at that. Like she’s the lockdown queen of our kids' phones. Like I mean—and even as a Christian parent raising kids, we find ourselves that like even you could put all the stuff on it and do everything you do. If you put your guard down, the enemy is going to be there to make sure your kids can get caught up in that pornography and all kinds of stuff.

So it's so important for parents these days to have a lockdown on all their devices and not just think, "Well, we're doing all we can do." You know, we're going to church, or they're good kids, and they are good kids. But temptation is temptation, yeah? And so if you would have gave me as a teenage boy, like access to just like the VHS pornography tapes, yeah, I would have been watching them, right?

And so it’s the same way when you give them access with these telephones—like they have access to all that. So yeah, my parents, you know, God bless them, they didn't know. Yeah, nobody knew. It was all brand-new at that point, and I was left up there with a lot of time, right, and took about four and a half minutes to download a picture, which kind of killed the buzz of the whole thing—that you’re sitting there waiting, catching a little piece of it at a time.

But like, you know, it is what it is. I mean, that’s—it's funny.

Getting Involved in Politics

So kind of transitioning from that man to, you know, parenting, fathering, you know, what not to like recent years—like deciding to take on the easy task of running for school board as a conservative. Like, why?

Yeah, you told me we were on a phone conversation a couple weeks ago, and you're like, I—you know, you must be a glutton for just a beat, you know? You're a pastor, then you wanted to jump into the political realm of the school board.

And I did it. I had thought about running for school board a couple of years before I actually did. And safety had always been my big concern, and it still is. Like you see all these school shootings that are happening throughout the nation, and I got into law enforcement because I wanted to be a school resource officer. I wanted to protect the kids. I wanted to be that good example—like what was good for the poor kid was good for the rich kid when I was in law enforcement officer.

I played hacky sack with the hippies and I talked with the jocks, you know? I mean, it was—it was just that. I didn't judge the rich or the poor. They were going to be the same because I had been judged, right? I didn't know how those kids were going to turn out.

The Drive to Make a Difference

So I never judged the kids by their appearance, the family they came from, or anything like that because God had done that in my life, and like He brought me from the gutters and what enabled me to live a good life. And so I—you never know as a teenager like where God's going to bring one of these kids, right?

So anyway, like I had this passion for public safety and I'm—one of the school board members when I used to listen to Rush Limbaugh all the time, I don't know if you ever listened to that. So you know Rush Limbaugh, for like 20 years I listened to him. And he made me laugh. He made me cry. There are so many things that I loved about Rush Limbaugh, and when he passed away, one of our school board members called him an evil person.

And when I heard him say that, like it just went through me. And I remember when Rush died, I came home that night, my wife was fixing supper. She asked me to go outside and get some groceries out of the car— I went out there, I'm thinking about Rush and I'm crying when I come back in, and I tell my wife, "Is it weird for a grown man who never met another man to be crying over his death?" And I thought to myself, I was like, "No, I met Rush. He made me laugh three hours a day. He made me think, and times I did cry when I listened to him."

And so when I heard that school board member say that, I was like, "I'm going to a school board meeting." That was my first jump into it. And then, you know, we had 2020 with all the masking and with all the stuff that we were seeing through CRT, and people can say what they want to, there are people out there wanting to push that agenda onto our kids.

And I just became very aware of what was happening, and I was like, "I got to do something," and that's what really thrust me into this public life of wanting to be a school board member. And it's not glamorous at all, but it's been a calling that God called me to do.

Leaving a Legacy

And you hear the thread to your whole story, right? I want to help others. Yeah. And that drive, right? And I think so often, like I told somebody the other day, I was talking about this, like addiction, regardless of what root is causing it, becomes a very selfish behavior. It's like I need to numb; I got to—I don't want to feel, you know? I'm going to get the next time. I mean, there are so many ways that you can crack this thing.

One of the things that I've always been fascinated by is how like—well, the antidote to selfishness is selflessness, right? They’re opposites of one another, right? And I think that if people can kind of get a hold of this—you're hearing the thread like, I'm—I’m okay, God, I'm throwing myself all into your purposes, and if that takes me to the jail, it takes me to the jail.

Yeah, it takes me on the road, right, in traffic tickets, I'm going to do that. You know, I'm associate pastor, I'm going to do that, yeah, and now the school board, which is like—you better hear from God because it's not—it's politics are so polarized now. Like you, a local school board race or being passionate about family values or, you know, wanting to call a man a man and a woman a woman, right? Like, it’s controversial.

Yeah, you know, and these are the things that we're like when we're in the middle of all this trying to raise our children too, you know? And it is interesting like I'm serving, you know, and I'm trying to be that voice, even the one story, “Oh, you're the guy that’s never going to make it.” Yeah, I’m going to try to be that voice so no kid asked to hear that, you know.

The Importance of the Message

And so what do you—so if there’s any one thing, I know this is probably a loaded question, but if there's any one thing that you hope to kind of teach others like through your different leadership roles, like is there a recurring theme, recurring thread, you know, in that, that you really want, you know, this is the message, you know, I want people to get from Matt Cross. Yeah, what is that?

I want people to know this one thing about me, and that's 2 Corinthians 5:17, that if any man or woman is in Christ, they're made a new creature that the old things pass away, and behold, all things become new. That's what I want them to know. I want them to know that it doesn't matter what they were born into, it doesn't matter what they've gone through, it doesn't matter how far they've sinned or what's happened to them, whether they grew up rich or poor, whether they have an education or not, that if God calls you to do something, he'll give you the ability to do it.

And that's really my message that I hope people see from me. You know, I—here I am sitting on an educational board. I have an associate's degree in biblical studies. I didn't go off to college. I don't have a bachelor's degree or anything like that, right? But I'm the chairman of the board now of a place over 11,000 kids, over 2,000 employees, and I'm sitting here as a chairman on this board where I was looked to when I was a teenager for one of the administrators that said, "I've seen kids like you, and I know how they turn out."

A Transformative Journey

And whether I don't—I don't put no judgment on that guy for saying that, but he couldn't see what God saw in me. And that's really what I want people to see is like you don't have no idea like what God wants to do in your life. And if I—when I look back to 19-year-old macross, if you would have told me that I would have become a police officer, with a life number one, if you would have told me I would have gotten married and been married now for going on 25 years, I would have laughed.

And if you told me I would have been a father of three, I would have been like no way. Yeah, because the only thing I ever saw good in my life was destruction, and that's really what I saw before I met Christ. And that's why I was like, "God, if anyone can save me, it has to be you."

And I don't want to be like these other Christians that I saw in my past that like we're living a double life, yeah? That's why I threw myself at God and I was like, "God, if I'm gonna do this, like I'm gonna do it." Yeah, and so it was easy for me to like—I say easy, but it was easy for me to walk away from, you know, the meth, the coke, the alcohol.

Healing Through Faith

Like I was an alcoholic, man, before I graduated. I was—I was alcoholic, but I started smoking cigarettes when I was 12. And that was the hardest thing for me to quit was the tobacco and smoking, and I remember being at church service on a Wednesday night. I remember Jesus walking me through like, you know, "Hey, the cigarettes aren't going to take you to hell, but you can smell like it before you get there," you know, and so that's funny.

And so I remember Wednesday night service though, I was at church and Pastor Dan said, "I think that I believe there are people here that want to quit smoking tonight. God wants to set you free." Well, that was me. There's me and another lady that came down, and he laid his hands on me that night and prayed, and that was—I’ve not smoked a cigarette since. That was it. That's what it took. It took me being in the presence of God, given God my yes, and saying, "God here I am. I've tried, I failed, I tried, I failed," and I just kept coming and I kept pursuing Him.

Becoming a Voice for Change

Eventually, He took it from me. Yeah, and so there’s— I tell people all the time like I smell cigarette smoke once in a while and it smells good sometimes. Yeah, sometimes it smells awful, you know? But I sometimes imagine the buzz of what it feels like, "Oh my gosh."

But I think about like, you know, God delivered me from that. Yeah, so I'm not gonna go back to it. I’m 19, I’m in the middle of addiction, you know, maybe don't have any positive voice to speak it into my life. I kind of feel stuck, you know, isolated. Nobody really understands what I'm going through or really cares about my future, you know? What do you say to me to help me get started?

Encouragement for the Journey

Yeah, what do you speak into that type of situation? I’d speak into your life and say you have no idea like the seed that God has inside your life. And if you allow God to water that seed through His Holy Spirit, if you'll surrender yourself to Him like, it’s not going to be easy. Like I tell people all the time, like walking with Christ, He calls us to be soldiers.

And so I'm not going to tell you it's going to be easy. You know? I'm not going to give you a little speech talk, like it's going to be okay. You are going to go through some rough times. Yeah, you're going to have to make some hard decisions. You're going to have to grow up and be the big boy or big girl now and say, "You know what, I gotta take care of me before I can help anyone else."

And so I've got to throw out—I would encourage, like I said earlier, throw yourself on God. Like if you will throw yourself on God, like I—precious past weekend on Jacob. And he saw—and that story where Jacob was—his name means trickery, right? He could trick himself. He could talk himself out of different areas and into different situations. He could talk himself out of those things.

But in the time when he's like, "Man, I need God," he threw himself on God. He wrestled with God, the Bible says, and God’s like, "Hey, let me go," and he's like, "I'm not letting you go until you bless me." Like if you will do that, if you'll throw yourself on God, there’s— you have no idea the heights and even depths that Christ will take you if you're trusting.

And so that would be my like speech to a 19-year-old, even to a 20-year-old, a 30-year-old. Like, "Bro, like now’s the time if you'll throw yourself on God." You know, just the Bible says test me! I think there are a lot of times that we won't—we don’t have that cry like the Apostle Paul that says, "Oh, that I may know you." You've got to hear like that groaning inside Paul like, "Oh, that I may know you," and in the power of your resurrection, right?

The Path Ahead

So if you leave out that part, yeah, because when you serve the Lord truly, you know, He calls us to pick up the cross at all cost, and if that means suffering with Him, that’s what we do. But the life of suffering that you'll serve with Christ will be a thousand times better than you being selfish and serving yourself. Yeah, man, I think on—I think the suffering that I went through with an addict prepared me.

Like, you know, I did the meth, the needles, all that jazz. I mean, that was my life story and history, man. But like, like I've always been intentional about remembering how bad it was back then. Yeah, always! It's always a frame of reference, you know? And so I think that like the people are like, you're already suffering if you're trapped in this addiction.

Like, and so there's only upside, you know? And it's, man, it’s so good, man. I appreciate you opening up and sharing. Yeah, as we wrap up, so how can somebody either connect with you, with Path Church? I know you've got some various social media stuff out there and whatnot, man. But how can somebody connect with you?

Connecting with Pastor Matt

Yeah, and easily, if you—if you friend me on Facebook, Matt Cross, or if you go to our church Facebook page at Path Church in Harrisonburg, Virginia, you’ll be able to connect with us there. Sunday mornings, we’re here at service at 10 a.m., and we also have a small gathering on Wednesday nights, a Bible study.

It's really good, man. I just sat there last night, you know, and talked with this circle of 20, 25 people of what we were thankful for. To hear so many people that I've served the Lord with over the last 24 years of my life talk about how like, I'm thankful for this body—like we’re family, and it’s good.

To hear that and to be a part of that, it was like, man, it’s really cool because if I wouldn’t lay down my life and be a servant, like I would have never had the opportunity to connect with other people that I never would have connected with before.

Final Thoughts

And I think that's what God uses the church to do is to connect you with people that you would have never ran with before. Like He gets you out of your own little clique. So true. And He’s like, "Hey, you’re going to serve this old lady. You're going to serve over here in Central America where you don’t even know their language." You know? And you're going to do all the—you’re going to sell a school board where you don’t even have the education.

Yeah, I mean, it’s just all these—all these things like, you know, God takes the foolish things of the world to confound the wise. Yeah, that’s so good. I’ve lived that and walked through it, but anyway, you could connect with me on any of those levels. Reach out and box me, you know, but I’d love to get to know you and build a walk or a Christ with you.

Engaging with the Community

Thank you. Do you have any plans locally of allowing our homeschool kids to participate in sports together or at least giving me my tax dollars back in the meantime? Oh man, you're on the barriers right now. That question! They already called me a disruptor. They think that I want to come in and tear down the public education system.

But I am 100% for tax dollars following your kids, right? So I think that that's the best thing that we can do—like your choice with your kid on what you believe is their best educational path. Yeah, that’s where your tax dollars should be going. That’s a big conversation right now. We'll see what happens. We'll see what happens there. Part of the education even existing.

Yeah, I probably shouldn't say that out loud, but I love it! But yeah, man, well, I appreciate it. And thanks, man, it's so good to sit down and chat. And even we've known each other for a long time to hear PC—your story that I haven't heard before.

The Power of Sharing Stories

And it’s awesome! I appreciate you opening it up. And, you know, a lot of people, I think, run from their recovery journey, their backstory. You know, it's like, you don’t—and I understand the why behind it. But like, I think that, man, more people sharing, like, it just encourages folks, you know? They're not alone in this journey and, man, there’s life on the other side of it. Yes, right?

And that's been the drive, I think. I think that's true too. And when we don't—when we're with Christian and we don't allow ourselves to open up and show our vulnerability and even share a path that people only see—like they only see the good things.

Like they see the Matt Cross and the pulpit, right? They see the guy up there preaching with the anointing on him. They see the Pastor Justin that’s preaching on Sunday morning, that's strong and full of the Word and everything else you know—the place. But yeah, what they see—the glamor side of it, right? They see the good things, man, taught me how to chase girls and I'm chasing them ever since.

But yeah, but they see the good things in our life, but they—a lot of times if you don't open up and be like, "Nah, I’ve got these scars, man." Yeah. You know, this is who I am. And, you know, even today, like if I allow myself—and I don’t pursue after God, man, there’s that flesh side of me that will get out of control.

Concluding Remarks

Yeah. And I’ve got to continually to crucify that flesh and say, "God, I want to now—I'm at the point now.” I’m 26, 27 years into serving the Lord, and now I'm on this halfway point of saying, "God, now I want to finish." Yeah, like now—like I want to intentionally serve you and seek you and be very intentional because I don't know how many days I have left, right? But I want to finish what you began, and I don't want to fall. I don't want to become a castaway, as Paul said, like after I've done all these things.

Yeah, after I've been through all this stuff, like I don't want it to be for nothing now. I want to finish well. Yeah, and so now I appreciate you, pastor, for having me on. I’ve also so much appreciated you throughout the years and the work that you do with Teen Challenge and helping others, man. You have literally changed the lives of thousands of people, and it’s hard to tell how many people that they'll touch that you'll have impact on.

So I just encourage you and Ashley and the family to keep running hard after Him, and I appreciate you. I have a lot of respect for you and the work that you do, and you're just getting started, brother. I really believe that you're getting this started. I hear that, I tell people all the time, man, like I'm not—man, the only reason I'm here and where I'm at is because somebody told me a long time ago God had a plan for my life.

Final Thoughts

Yeah, and I’ve been foolish enough to believe it ever since, you know? And that’s—I love it, that’s really what it boils down to. And man, thank you guys for watching. I'm going to drop the links for Pastor Matt’s on contact, the church, everything in the description. Please, you’ve got any feedback, any questions, don't hesitate to drop a comment, hit the like button, subscribe—all the fun YouTube stuff. And thank you guys for tuning in to Rebuilding Life After Addiction.

If you need help, also share the value—Teen Challenge link is in the description. You can click the button down there and fill a form out and we'll get back in touch with you and get you pointed in the right direction so you can get some help. God bless you guys.