Trapped by Guilt? Here’s How God Set Rob Free

The Journey from Guilt and Shame to Forgiveness

And I've never, ever, ever went back; like that guilt and shame is extinct now. I've forgiven myself. That's the hardest person for most of us to forget. I came out of that realm of death and I got transported into a new life in Christ. That's taken me years, and I'm still learning who I am, but I know it's a new life and that life doesn't exist.

For I'm thrilled to preach that everyone who believes is saved. Now, I want you to say that with me: Everyone who believes is saved. That's so key. If you believe something, I think you'll follow it. To everyone who believes. And if you really believe something, you'll begin to follow it and let it transform your life. You won't just set an appeal and think, "Wait till I get to heaven one day." I don't know if you really believed it. I'm just being honest. I'm not being mean. Like, if you believe something, I mean, I believe that crack cocaine would get me high. I chased after it all I had. I sold everything I had, lost everything I had.

I told my wife this today, my new wife now, and she just laughed. I rode my 10-year-old daughter's little pink bike with the frillies on it and a Barbie bell across town—15 miles—to go get some crack. Like, I did everything in my power to go get that. You know, I wasn't ashamed; I should have been. I did a whole lot of things from the enemy. I rode that bike all across town. Now, I hid it right before I got to my dealer's house and walked like a half a block because I didn't want him to see it.

The Reality of Transformation

But in my house, I didn't care. I've done some crazy—anybody else do any crazy stuff like that? Am I just the only one who rode a pink bike? Maybe? Okay, y'all got your own stories, I'm sure. I believed that that would solve my problems. I believed this shooting the needle in my arm would make me feel better. Like, I believed those lies. How dare I not believe the man that saved my life and believe that his word will set me free?

And so, I believe it, and I'll follow it. I don't think a lot of people believe that. I'm just going to use me. Okay, so I was sitting in prison when I gave my life to Christ. At that very moment, I became seated with him in heavenly places. I became the righteousness of God. I didn't have to go through a bunch of stuff, learn a bunch of stuff, get a seminary degree and do all this stuff, and become a pastor before I got seated.

In the moment that we really believe and we really surrender and give our life to him, we become the righteousness of God. That's hard to believe for somebody that's shooting needles in their arm and sitting in prison. Saying, “Wait a minute, hold on. I get to actually become a son and a new person and be in right standing with the Father?” Yes! The big battle of faith that Paul talks about to Timothy is “fight the good fight of faith.”

The Fullness in Christ

That's the good fight of faith. Do you believe that you can go from sinner to heaven in one moment? I don't know; hold on. I get in there; something I gotta go through, don’t I? Guilt and shame comes in later, but in that moment, you become the righteousness of God.

Yeah, by agree on that? We good with that? I hope so. Do you believe it? Because if not, I'm going to challenge you tonight to really pray about that and think about it. Verse 9: "For he is the complete fullness of deity in human form, and our completeness is now found in him." We are completely filled with God. Come on, like, you gotta get that.

As Christ's fullness overflows in us. So what that tells me is my relationship with Christ is what fills me with the Lord. My believing and following and going after Christ, with this pursuit where nothing else matters, but he's first in everything—Matthew 6:33, "Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness; all these things will follow."

So it's like, in my pursuit of the King, Jesus fills me with the things of God. Like, I love that. And then we can get—if I want to get full with God, anybody else want full? Were you just good with barely getting some? I'm about y'all. I never was good with just barely getting high. You know what I'm saying? Just be a friend; one hit of crack wasn't going to do it. I went all night long for three weeks.

The Power of Faith and Belief

Like, I'm just that way with Jesus. I'm sorry people don't like that analogy, but I think y'all can roll with it. Our uncompleteness is found in him. We're completely filled with God's fullness overflowing in us. He is the head of every kingdom and authority in the universe. Through our union with him, we have experienced circumcision of the heart. This is our kind of language.

Listen to the rest of this: all of the guilt and power of sin has been cut away. And it's now extinct because of what Christ said. Y'all understand what extinct means? Like, do you see any more dinosaurs? Do you see them anywhere? Like, it means it doesn't exist. Like, do you realize there's a point where if you believe, there ain't nothing I can do to lay hands on you, and there ain't nothing I can pray for you? If you believe enough and believe this word enough and get full enough of Christ, you can get to a point where there is no more history.

There is no more old person. There is no more—it's extinct. Everything—the power, the guilt—because how many know guilt led most of us back to the relapse? How many in here? Guilt and shame is probably what led you back when? Doing good for why? Anybody relapsed more than once? Just me and Luton? No? I've relapsed a lot, man. I made it six months, ten months, one year one time—none of it with Christ, all of it in. I'm not against secular programs; I'm just saying Jesus did it for me. It's the only thing I know that does it.

Embracing the New Life in Christ

That was the only thing that did it for me, and I've never, ever, ever went back. Like, that guilt and shame is extinct now. I've forgiven myself. That's the hardest person for most of us to forgive. It's easier, easier; sometimes it's not real easy, but it's easier to forgive the person who did something to you or something like that. But when it comes to letting go of how I treated my kids or how I ran my family in the ground or how I did that, there's power in that guilt and shame, and the enemy knows that.

And this is what it says: it's been cut away, and it's now extinct because of what Jesus did—the anointed one. Verse 12: "Before we were buried with him into his death, our baptism into death also means we were raised with him when we believed God's resurrection power—the power that raised him from the realm of death."

This realm of death describes the former state when we were held in sin's grasp. But now we've been resurrected out of the realm of death never to return. Who wants to just sit up? Who wants to go back to your grave, man? Like, you gotta believe it tonight. Either the dude's dead, or he's not. And if you still think you got one more run in you, good luck. I'm just blunt. I thought that a lot. I got one more in me.

That day I gave my life to Jesus in prison, I knew that if I went back out, I was dead. I wouldn't go make it. That desperation cry is what saved my life and got me where I'm at now. If you think, "Well, I can probably, maybe I can just drink," maybe I can manage that. That's the enemy whispering lies in you to drag you right back down to the same thing that always happens—kill, steal, destroy. That's all it does.

Understanding the New Identity in Christ

It's pretty simple; make a choice. You want to kill, steal, destroy, or abundant life? It really boils down to choices in that area. So we are—we've been buried in this death that this realm of death describes as a former state when we were held in sin's grasp. We were resurrected out of that never to return for we are forever alive and forgiven of all of our sins.

Now listen to verse 14 in the Passion. Some of y'all are really going to like this. Anybody been in prison or jail on here? Now I got some hands. When nobody wanted to make it, they've relapsed for once, but everybody's been in jail or prison. We can talk about that. Hallelujah. Come on. Well, you'll love this verse if you've never read it in the Passion.

He canceled out every legal violation we had on our record and the older arrest warrant that stood to indict us, he erased it all—our sins, our stains—so he deleted it, and they cannot be retrieved. Now, I'm going to challenge you tonight to listen to that scripture, read it. I don't care what version you use. It's not going to be that descriptive with jail and prison record or nothing like that, but it's still going to say the same thing.

But I'm going to challenge you: if you don't believe that it can be erased and never revisited, listen. I've adopted two kids. I got 17 felonies on my record. I'm not legally supposed to be able to do that. I'm standing here telling you this kind of stuff, not to brag, but to tell you that I don't believe I still have old records on me. That person died. I'm a new creation, and God made a way for a judge to sign the papers for me to adopt two different kids from birth.

The Kingdom Mindset

And I'm a registered foster parent in the state of West Virginia. That's not supposed to happen. They can look that up online and try to say somebody did something wrong. It doesn't matter. Like, I live in a kingdom-minded mindset right now that I know who I am here. And that's who's living down here. I'm not from here; I don't belong here. I still have to abide by the rules while I'm here, but I'm not of this world. I'm of that world with a new dad and a new life.

And I love it! That life, I get to adopt kids. But if I would have never believed these things, I would have never tried. I had the people when they came over and they said, "Well, they called me, ‘Hey,’ because we knew the people; it was family. You want to adopt them? She's pregnant. Do you want?" Absolutely! We want him. Gave them my paperwork, and they said, “We’re going to do a background check.” I was like, "Well, legally, when you look up the background check, it’s going to look really bad. I spent four and a half years in prison."

They're like, "Oh." I'm like, "That was a long time ago. I've been done. I'm a pastor. I'm an evangelist. I love Jesus now. I mean, I've got my kids back in my life. I rebuilt my life. Jesus is amazing." And they didn't call me for three months. I said, "Well, Lord, if you want us to have him, we'll have him." They called me two days before he was born and said, “Hey, can we come over? You still want him?” I'm like, "Absolutely!"

The Importance of Belief in New Life

So they came over and they said, “We want to apologize. We stuck years at the bottom of the pile.” I said, “Okay.” We went through six or seven people; none of them worked out. “Okay, handed it to the judge.” And when I ran Freedom House, which was a recovery home, the judge that got that paper was the judge that I worked with and prayed for for his dad in his chambers one day. And he remembered me. And he said, “I’m not worried about his record.” See, that’s a kingdom mindset.

You know what I mean? Now, I don’t know whether he was supposed to do that or whatever, but he’s a judge; he can sign it. You know what I mean? That’s what I’m saying. Like, you gotta, like, I came out of that realm of death. And I got transported into a new life in Christ. That's taken me years, and I'm still learning who I am. But I know it's a new life, and that life doesn't exist. And if you don't grab that mindset, the enemy's going to whisper or some well-crafted preacher that doesn't believe it's going to whisper.

And it's going to sound really good, and you're going to stay in this place that's just being okay to say a prayer and make it to heaven one day and never walk a new abundant life. And there's going to be this up and down thing. James says, a double-minded man is unstable in all his ways. How many people all know Christians that toss back and forth all the time? I know a bunch of them. They really don't believe the gospel.

Pray for me, pray for me. I'm not saying don't pray for them; I'm saying, really, you just really need to believe the truth and you wouldn't be tossing back and forth. There are things that we don't need to pray about; just to the truth. But we got to believe it and grab it. And if you don't challenge your mindset to transform it to what this says, you'll never ever believe it. You got to believe everything can be erased: your sins and your old record and everything. And I love what it says.

The Importance of Forgiveness and Moving Forward

He says he deleted it all; it can’t be retrieved. Everything we once were in Adam, so our old life has been placed on the cross, nailed permanently as a public display of cancellation. Then he said, “I love this.” Jesus is just the boss, man. I mean, Jesus is the boss, okay? And people are not church; people are not like that, but Jesus is a boss. He said, “Jesus made a public spectacle of all the powers and principalities of darkness, stripping away from them every weapon and all their spiritual authority and power to accuse us.”

It's important we don't have to listen to the voice. And he is the accuser of the brethren, right? That's what he does. But there's no more power in any more because Jesus defeated death, hell, and the grave and resurrected from it. So when he defeated that, that lost all of its power, man. Jesus proved it—no, you can kill me, but you can't kill me! Like, you can kill me, but there’s new life. And I made a way! And if they just follow it, they'll get it too.

And your voice has no effect on them anymore. Like, you have to grab that guilt, shame, and condemnation can't mix with me. You can't talk about my past. I'll tell you, "Look, I've done, been there, done that, forgave that, left that, and I died to that a long time ago. You can't hurt me with it; I put it out there." Now when I mess up, I'll stand in front of the pulpit. I don't mind; you can't hurt me with anything going on.

See, like he throws scripture at me in the middle of talking. I'm like, “Oh Lord, I’m supposed to—Romans 8, I think it says nothing can separate you from the love of God, right? No hell, no power of hell, demon, death, life—all that stuff.” And then it says something and it leaves something out, and then an old preacher one day said that and I’m like, “What do you leave out?”

So you can't change the word of God; you can't add to it, right? But God didn't put it there. He says present and future, but what did he not say? What's the third part of that group of words? I believe nothing can separate us. Like, we can't do anything wrong that he won't love us, but we can live in the past and separate ourselves from us. We can live and believe the past and never believe that we got new life and stay in this old life and we stay separated because we stay over in this old Adam life that's constantly in guilt, shame, and condemnation, and we never receive the righteousness of Christ and walk in new life.

A Call to Embrace Change

We keep ourselves separate. I mean, he didn't put that in there. Is it in there, demons? Does it say past? No. God didn't just forget it. Like he said, “Oh, I did a typo.” Like, he didn't put it in there for a reason. I never called that to, I heard that man say that. I'm like, “Oh, that's good.”

Like, there's a reason. This is the stuff. Why? Because we got to believe that we're dead to that, right? It’s Paul saying this—new life and the gospel of Jesus Christ don't let anyone distract you. You're righteous, you're holy; the old life is gone, completely filled with God, and everything's been cut away. There's a new life in Christ and a godly life, but focusing on the rules will never get you the new life. That’s the old covenant. Excuse me.

Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth. For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ and God. And when Christ, who is your life, is revealed to the whole world, you’ll share in all of his glory. So put to death now—see, I said it’s not about the rules, but then what? He’s not contradicting himself. So it’s not, “Look at the rules.” It’s, “Hold on, because I have a new life, because I’m thinking of the heavenly things.”

Because I'm focused on that, I'm not thinking about the things of the world, my music and this and that, or dress. I'm not even looking at that. I'm looking at him and I'm thinking where Christ is seated, and I'm thinking about heavenly realm stuff, which means I've got a prayer life, which means I'm full of the spirit, which means I'm in the Word, which means I'm communing with God, which means I’m doing all these things, right?

So my mind is focused on heaven. When Christ, who is your life, is revealed, the whole world will share in his glory. Put to death the earthly things lurking within you. Have nothing to do with sexual immorality and purity, lust, evil desires. See, check the desires part—not just the symptoms, the desires. Don’t be greedy, for a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of the world. Because of these sins, the anger of God is coming.

You used to do these things when your life was still a part of the world, but now it’s time to get rid of anger, rage, malice, behavior, slander, and dirty language. It doesn’t matter who you are or where you come from; he chose you to be holy, and he loves you. So, close yourselves with tender-hearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.

The Process of Change in Relationships

Those are all characteristics that Christ embodied, that he walked out as a man. Those are the things we got to put on. You want to show people that you’ve changed? Start acting like that. And listen, how many of you all have been sober for like three or four, maybe five months, or a couple of weeks? And you know you’ve changed, but nobody else realized it? And they’re like, “Oh god, they're just going to end soon.” And they just treat you like crap anyway, and you're like, “Oh, screw this, I'm just going to go get high.” You know what I mean? Nobody believes me anyway. Why am I even trying?

It takes a while to show people that we've changed. You know, my kids, you know what I mean? I love them to death, but I know that going well, Joe’s going to beat up on Caleb because he’s a little older. You know what I mean? And if he comes and says, “Caleb hit me,” I’m like, “Come on, man—be real! What did you do to cause it?”

So think about it like this: we’re going to have to show people for a while that we’ve changed. It’s taken me years. I've got both my daughters back in my life now. I get to see my grandbabies, which is amazing; they’re six months old. But it took a lot of years because of all the stuff that I did for her to see the actual change. And I still have family members 13 years later that are still going, I know because I hear from other family members, “It’s all fake. It’s all an act. He ain’t really. He's up there because I’m an hour and something away from Martinsburg. He ain’t going to church. He ain’t whatever. It’s all fake. Sooner or later, he’s probably getting high behind the scenes.”

And nobody knows, like, that’s what they still say 13 years later. And like, you think, “I held this up for 13 years, and nobody’s noticed? Like, I ain’t that good, y'all. I couldn’t keep it hidden for three weeks. You know what I mean? Y'all think I’ve kept it 13 years? Y'all nuts! I’ve done a loss to everything. I wouldn’t have a dime to my name, and I’d be sitting in a prison cell.”

But you have to believe that. It says, “Make allowances for each other’s faults. Oh, forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” Did it say you can think about it or try to forgive others? Guilt, and shame, and condemnation draw you back to believing that you never could be this person.

But if you’ll just believe that there’s actual new life—and I can say I know that’s like simple, but I don’t know how much we really believe it. Like, how much do you believe? But I'm going to pick on you because I love you. Aaron, right? I knew I'd get it right.

I love you, man. I've seen a picture there tonight that you get hands laid on you. And I've been praying non-stop for you for weeks, man, because I really just believe that there’s something so special about you, man. But I just believe deep down, you really don't believe you're worthy, man. And that he loved you and he died for you. And that he can do everything that he did for me and be of and beyond for you.

And I'm telling you, there’s a brand new life that you don’t think you’ll fit into because it’s scary. Like, what would it look like if I’m over there? I can’t stop being this Aaron because this Aaron’s kind of cool some days when he’s not getting high and doing that. And so you want to count, but I’m telling you, like, I’m not a really good construction person; y’all have noticed that, right? I’m not good at—but I love seeing something broken, nasty stuff turned into something new.

And when I look at you, like, that’s all I see. I just see the enemy trying so hard to convince you that you could never be like—and if you step there, you wouldn’t like it because it’s boring. That it is not boring on this side of the kingdom. It is amazing! I've had so much fun. Me and Justin have gotten to have fun for 10 years now. It’s his fault that I get up and preach now because I preached first at a Teen Challenge chapel service up on the mountain when I didn’t want to because he made me because he probably the same way I’m looking at you, seeing something in me that I didn’t even see, and said, “No, man, you need to get up there. You know what I mean?”

So there’s like something in you, and not counting anybody else out, but I just really feel like this message. I just hope that you were listening because there’s a brand new life that’s tangible, available, fully accessible really easily for you if you’ll just believe what this book says about you and you’ll follow after him no matter whether it feels like you want to do it. Your flesh is going to fight that thing all the way through. I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to be one of them people to do that. But you don’t have to be them people. You’ll be who God made you to be in Christ.