Meth Took Everything - God Gave Me the Mic

A Night of Reckoning: The Descent into Addiction

November 7, 2000, TM Man, I had been up for seven days on meth. I went out to party that last night and we couldn't find any meth. So we went and bought some cocaine. Couldn't find out, dude, so many BC powder. You know how that goes? You know what I'm saying? I'm upset. So I'm like, you know what? Skip this, let's just go get some crack. You know what I'm saying? I know where I can get some rock, you know what I'm saying? So we went and got some crack cocaine. It's funny that we're driving back home. I always remember this vividly and we're over there drinking, you know, and cop comes up behind us, turns on his lights. I'm like, oh man, you know, I just got the crack. You know what I'm saying? We got open containers, you know, and I'm over here praying, God, if you give me out of this, you know, I'll never do this stuff again. Boom, cop gets right up behind us and slingshots around us.

A New Journey Begins

Well, hey everybody, welcome again to another episode. Rob, how's it going today, man? Hey, man, coming live from San Diego from a vehicle. I'm in the hoop D, you know, whatever you want to call it, y'all out there. No, it's a beautiful day. I'm really excited for this call because this is going to be something that is going to bless each and every single one of you guys for the ears to hear and the hearts that are ready to receive. Just be open; I think that's something that I always want people to take away from these calls is to have an open heart. I think when you come with expectations and have an open heart, you're able to receive something that is very beneficial for not only your right now but your future and so on. Thank you so much, Craig, for jumping on this call with us and being able to bless our viewers and those that are listening.

Man, thank you guys for having me. You know, it's always a privilege to be able to share what the Lord has done, you know what I'm saying. Yeah, thank you guys for having me. You're in San Diego, huh? Lane, somebody was just telling me I need to go to San Diego. Oh, yeah, yeah, San Diego, San Diego's land. It's also really expensive. Yeah, I know where you're trying to live there. I have holes in my pocket.

Traveling and Divine Encounters

Yeah, my wife and I, we actually just got back from a trip. We went to Mission Bay Resort. Beautiful, man, they got like this amusement park kind of style thing on the beach, music venues, man, it was awesome, so it was definitely a blessing. So, I got some recommendations for you when you come out this side. Amen, appreciate that. Yeah, I'll definitely hit you up. Yeah, things are expensive out there, right? You were just telling me like the tax rate is out of control. Oh, yeah. I don't want to get into complaining about the government, but here we are. You know, just kind of happens. Yeah. So, they don't get around it these days.

No, they try to, especially when you start, I remember back when I was working an hourly job and overtime, and how much they like to hit that overtime. The tax rate on that gets to a point where there's diminishing returns; there's no point in working the extra hours because they're just going to take, you know, the time and a half anyway. It's crazy.

Well, I got to meet Craig a few weeks ago. He was here in Virginia, and we did a hip hop concert here at the church. Craig and Kay Drama and a few other local rappers came out and ministered to our community, and it was such a good night. We met each other in the hallway at the church prior to the event and just found out that we had some of a similar backstory. You know, when you meet somebody and you just hear that fire and that hunger in them, and that's what I heard when I met you, Craig. I heard just how grateful you were for what the Lord had done in your life, and then hearing how the Lord pulled you out of a meth addiction, you know, being that that was my drug of choice back in the day, I always connect pretty quickly with anybody who's fought and beat that battle as well.

Sharing Testimonies and Open Hearts

So, if you want to just kind of start out by introducing yourself a little bit to the audience, you know, letting everybody know some of your backstory, and then we'll take the conversation from there and see where the Lord leads this whole thing. Amen.

Yeah, well, so of course, my name is Craig James. I'm also known as Five. I do Christian rap. But, man, so November 7th, it'll be 13 years that I've been clean and sober, you know, about November 7th, 2000 TM. And I had been up for seven days on meth. I went out to party that last night, and we couldn't find any meth. So, we went and bought some cocaine, couldn't find out, dude, so many BC powder. You know how that goes? You know what I'm saying? I'm upset. So, I'm like, you know what, skip this. Let's just go get some crack, you know what I'm saying? I know where I can get some rock.

So, we went and got some crack cocaine, and, you know, it's funny that we're driving back home. I always remember this vividly, and we're over there drinking, and a cop comes up behind us, turns on his lights. I'm like, oh, man, you know, I just got the crack. You know what I'm saying? We got open containers, and I’m over here praying, God, if you give me out of this, you know, I'll never do this stuff again. Boom, cop gets right up behind us and slingshots around us and takes off a lamp.

And you know how we are. Let's go smoke this crack, you know what I'm saying? I just told God, if you give me out of it, I'm gonna do it, but I'm like, nah, let's get away with smoke this crack. So, man, we're over there. I'm getting high. It's probably about six in the morning, six, six thirty. Man, I'm sitting on the couch, a 30 pack of Bud Light between my legs, I'm drinking. I look up and I see my little brother fighting with a friend over the last piece of crack cocaine. And, man, that literally broke my heart, because growing up, you know, we didn't have a dad. My dad left when I was three. My little brother was probably, you know, six months, something like that.

The Turning Point: A Call to Change

And so, I was his dad, you know what I mean? Like, I was the only male role model he had, and it's like, there's an older brother. And so, man, I realized in that moment, I failed him so bad, man. I instantly heard a voice, an audible voice say, go to church. And it's funny, because I look up at them, I'm like, what, go to church? I see what we do, you know what I'm saying? And they look at me, they're like, you crazy. We didn't say go to church, you know what I'm saying?

And so, I'm sitting there and I hear it again, and I knew whose voice it was at that point, you know? And so, man, I call my cousin. I'm like, man, I got to get to church. Her mom was actually the pastor of our church in a little town that I'm from, Earth, Texas. Just to go back a little bit, man, I'm from a small town called Earth, Texas, in the Panhandle right between Amarillo, Texas, and Lubbock, Texas. If you know anything about that area, man, the town's so small, you can blink and miss it.

But so, I call my cousin. We're in Lubbock at this point, and Lubbock's about a 50-minute drive. And so, I call my cousin, like, man, I got to get to church, you know what I'm saying? And so, she comes and picks me up. We drive to Earth. I get to the church, man, like, I didn't tell people I didn't pass Go and collect $200. I walked in there and I walked straight to the altar. Like, I didn't sit there. I wasn't, I wasn't, you know, I tell people, man, I had already got the word from God. He told me to go to church, and I knew if he told me to go to church, he was going to meet me there.

And so, honestly, my thoughts were, if you don't meet me here, I don't know what I'm going to do. You know what I'm saying? Like, I'm tired of this. Like, you know, this life, I know there's something better than this. I know there's something greater for me, you know? Man, I always get teary-eyed when I, sorry, yeah. But, yeah, so, so I walked straight up to the altar. My aunt, when the doors opened, man, I promise you, like, it was the most beautiful thing because the way she smiled at me, it was as if God himself was smiling through her. You know what I mean? Like, she already knew, because this aunt, her name was Patricia Robinson. She's my mom's sister. She was a person in my life, man, that would never judge me for being on dope.

Finding Redemption in the Family

You know what I mean? Like, her relationship with the Lord was one of the most genuine things I've ever seen in my life. You know, to this day, I've yet to see somebody who loved like her, you know what I mean? Like, she never judged, man. She was always telling me, Craig, quit running, God’s got a plan for your life. You know, when you quit running. And I mean, like, I get on the phone, you know, towards the end of my addiction, you know, these demons would manifest. You know, they call them shadow monsters, but I know what they really are, you know what I mean? And so, they would start to manifest, man.

And so, the only place I would feel safe was in the Word; or I'd pick up the phone and call my aunt Pat, because she had something in her that those demons didn't want no part of. And so, I would call her. And she had stage four cancer, right, mind you. And she would pick up the phone. She would talk to me for hours until I came down. She would get out of her bed and drive to where I was just to sit with me and tell me, Craig, quit running, God’s got a plan for you. Once you make up your mind and quit running, I promise you it’s going to turn around.

And so, I walked in that church, man, she looked at me the way she smiled. It was just beautiful. And she walked down from behind the pulpit and came up front. And she looked at me and she said, you’re tired, huh? And, wow. Oh, Jesus. She said, you’re tired, huh? And I was like, man, I’m so tired. And, man, like immediately, when she laid her hands on me and began to pray, man, I felt the weight come off of me. I felt everything just leaving me. And, man, that day at that altar, once again, I heard the audible voice of God. These are the only times I've really heard this voice. And he said, show the world my grace. That’s what he told me. He told me show the world my grace.

The Weight of a Name: Finding Purpose

And so, you know, that’s why I go by the name Five. The reason I go by the name Five is because the biblical number for grace and favor is five. And so, what I did was I took the number five and added IBE to it. And what it means is grace is victory everlasting. And so, that’s the reason for my name. And so, man, he told me to show the world his grace. I didn’t know it at that minute at the time, but I was completely healed, delivered, set free that day. November 7, 2010, no 12 steps, no rehab. God delivered me from a 12-year meth and cocaine addiction like that, and the same day.

So, after that church service, I call my wife. She’s my wife now, but at the time she was just my baby mama. We had a kid together. And so, she was fed up, man. And so, that weekend, the reason I was so high and trying to just, you know, get over it was because we had split up. You know what I'm saying? So, I called her on Sunday. And I'm like, I called her that afternoon because my grandmother, my aunt, my cousin, we were going to another church service at 3 p.m. in Lubbock, Texas with some family.

A New Life Together in Faith

So, they had a special church service, you know what I mean? And so, I called her and asked her to go. And because she loved my grandma, my cousin, she’s like, okay, I’ll go. And she always says as soon as she got to the car, she saw a different person than she knew. So, she ended up getting saved at that church service. And we dedicated our lives to the service of Jesus together that day at that church service. So, and then we ended up getting married. You know how it is, man. God opens your eyes. And you’re like, man, we’re living in this sin.

Hey, hold up. So, we ended up getting married. We got saved November 7, 2010. Got married January 8, 2011, which was about two months in a day from the time of our salvation. So, we tried to put the wedding together as quick as possible. Because you already know, man, when you’re living together and, you know, you’re a man and a woman, man, that enemy gonna come in and try to do something. And once we got saved, we made a vow to God to stay abstinent until we got married. You know, even though we had already had a kid, we just realized that we were in error, man.

The Countdown: Stepping into the Future

And like, we weren’t going to continue to do God like that until we got it right. And so, yeah, we did that. And I think because we did that, man, our relationship is so strong, our bond is so strong. Man, she’s with me almost all the time now. But six months later, you know, a friend of mine brought me a beat. And he was like, man, oh, actually, it was my wife’s cousin’s husband. He was like, man, have you heard of this dude? And he showed me this song called "Praying for You" by Lacrae. I didn’t know what Christian rap was. I was like, oh, this is a thing. There’s Christian rap. You know what I’m saying?

Because I had thrown away all my Tupac, Yosim, my Currens. Yeah, threw away all my music, my Zero, you know from Texas. So, you know, when I got saved, you could call me religious, whatever. I was just like, man, I’m not listening to none of this stuff. And what God told me, He was like, give me six months. Give me six months. Like, I want you to dive into my word, you know, cut off everybody. Like, I had to cut off my baby brother. I had to cut off all my friends, family. Like, if you weren’t all what I was on, I couldn’t be around you. And it wasn’t because I thought I was bad. It wasn’t because I thought I was better than you.

The Cost of Change and the Call to Serve

It was just because I knew that if I went around, that I would fall right back into the trap. So, I had to wait until God built me up so I could go back in there and reach out, reach in. Wow. It’s so good. Yeah, man. Well, I know Rob usually goes down this rabbit trail. So, I was gonna ask about your family. And so, go ahead, Rob. I know you want to go there first.

Yeah. So, funnier to me, the BC powder, you know, my brother did that to me. I was getting ready to go to rehab and I wanted to get high one more time before going to rehab. And I asked my brother, I said, do help me get something just so I can get squared away one more time before going off to get help. And this fool sold me this bag. It was like baking powder, BC powder. So, I’ve been there before. That’s a fresh story.

Redirecting Your Path

Yeah. Wow. Well, that was a good thing, no, you know? Yeah, I was trying to tell you. We don't need no more than that. That's right. Yeah. Go ahead, Rob. Man, you have such a powerful story. For many things, one, my birthday is January 6th, and my wife’s birthday is January 10th. My grandmother’s name is Patricia, okay, which was an amazing influence in my life. And so, anytime I hear about the prayer of a family member, you were delivered and set free. We don’t even understand that our deliverance and our freedom comes from a place of when the seed is planted.

And so, we look at things from a natural too often that we never really get to glory in the supernatural. And that’s why Jesus always says, seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all things. He’s not, look, his kingdom isn’t exposed to the natural man. It’s exposed to the supernatural man. And so, your aunt, which was a believer, had authority and rights to go on your behalf and petition as a high priest would do for the people and present the sacrifice of her cry on your behalf, which sets you free.

And it’s so amazing because my hear stories like this, a lot of people always, man, on these podcasts, it’s always the grandmother, the aunt, the mom, whatever, the family members, generally a woman too. It’s generally a woman, it's not a man. It’s very interesting to me, right? And so, it was the labor, Holy Spirit, thank you, just like when a woman gives birth. God said this in the book of Genesis, right? He says, because of your sin, Eve, now what's gonna happen? You're gonna have to labor, right? You're gonna go through tremendous pain and we are sin causes people pain. But there's a seed that's planted inside of a woman that brings forth a birth.

The Importance of Ecclesiastical Support

And you don’t see what grows in dark places. And so, Five, being that it's the number of grace, this ministers to me in the season of life that I’m in. If I can even be transparent on this podcast because I need grace. Just because Justin and I sit here before y'all and Five sits here before y'all with no drug and alcohol addiction doesn’t mean that we don’t need grace anymore. I know to do it. All right, we all need it, but the point of why we have these stories, the point of why we do this podcast is because we want to remind y'all that y’all have purpose.

And so, Five, man, it really stirs me up to know a veil that you took the time to separate yourself. And if you could like speak to that just a little bit more of the importance of removing people from your inner circle, even your little brother, as you mentioned, should that you could get right? Because if you’re not right, how could you ever take anybody else with you, right?

The Cost of Connection: The Importance of Separation

Exactly. And I tell people all the time, listen, you show me your five closest friends, I'll show you your future. You know what I'm saying? Drug dealers hang out with drug dealers, man. Strippers hang out with strippers. You know what I'm saying? Like, I mean, that's just real, man. And, you know, if you throw a white shirt in a muddy puddle, 10 out of 10 times, that white shirt's gonna turn brown. That muddy puddle will never turn white, ever, you know? And so a lot of times, you know, people think that they could go and do these type of things, especially when you're not graceful, when God hasn't called you there, you ain’t gonna be able to stand.

The enemy's been doing his job since he fell like, you ain't gonna outsmart the devil, I'm sorry to tell you that. There's only one thing to combat him, and that's the blood of Jesus Christ. That's the one thing he has no answer for, you know? And so with that six months, God told me, man, He said, just getting my word. Bro, I was watching, man, TBN, you know what I mean? Every church channel I could from morning to night, just reading the Word. But the funny thing about that is, like I was saying, in the two years leading up until I got saved, like every time I would get high, I would get in the Word or I would call my aunt Pat, because, you know, these demons don't manifest.

Seeking Holiness in the Presence of Darkness

So I was reading the Word. I probably read the Word like five, six times front to back in those two years, you know what I mean? Like, because I was a meth head, you know? And other people were tweaking on fixing stuff, I'm tweaking on reading the Word, you know? I'm over there reading it out loud, and they’re tripping on me, like, we don’t want to get high with you. You know what I mean? It’s so, but what I saw after I got saved, and God showed me this was the prodigal son. It says that while the son was still a far off, the father ran to meet him.

While the son was still a far off, and so what I realized is that you were exactly right, what you said. When my aunt, I was already delivered. My aunt had been praying, the seed had been sown, and what God was doing was getting ready, was preparing me for what he was about to launch me, and I didn't even know it, you know? And so, I’m reading this Word, and all of a sudden, boom, you know, the blinders are off and now the Word makes sense. You're reading it, you're like, man, that’s what that means. You know what I mean?

The Pathway to Victory in Healing

And so for that whole six months, man, I was just watching nothing but pastors just preachings, and just in the Word, like constantly, like, and I got to this place where, and he had said, give me six months, and I'm gonna show you. And so, almost a day to that six months was over, like I said, my wife’s cousin's husband brought me that Lacrae song, and so I was like, God, this is what you want me to do. It's funny because I'm like, you know, my grandma wished Southern Baptists, well, my grandma's Southern Baptism, I was like, a Baptist church, that’s where I’m from, that's my whole church, you know, in earth.

And so, I’m like, man, my grandma’s finally proud of me, and now I gotta go tell her I gotta rap for Jesus. This ain't gonna go over. Yeah, I said, yeah. But now, man, I promise you, man, my family, they support me to the fullest, and it started with my aunt Pat, because God gave me a year with her before she passed. She actually paid for my first music video and probably a week later, she passed away, you know? She went to be with the Lord.

Legacy and Faith: The Journey Continues

But the good thing about that, and me seeing her, like, and in her last days, people were coming in to encourage her and walking out encouraged. And I said, man, that’s what I want my life to be. You know what I mean? Like, that's how I want my life to be. Like, I mean, she praised God literally to her last breath, man.

And, you know, I haven't learned one of my songs. I said, I watched her praise you till she died. That’s how I know it’s true. So I put my hope in you. I hope this fool is what I used to be. You know, I'm saying like, I watch this woman, you know, go through this, never smoke a cigarette a day in her life and die from lung cancer. You feel what I’m saying? Like, I watched this happen, and I watch her go through it with joy.

And I remember her telling me one time, she said, Craig, don’t worry, you know, God told me he’s gonna make me whole. He said, I don’t know if that’s here or there, but either way, I'm going to be made whole, you know? And to have that type of strength, that, that real “to live is Christ, to die is gain” type of mentality. To me, that really shook me to my core. And I think that's why I'm so passionate about what I do, you know? That's why I'm so passionate about what I do, man, because, you know, I got to witness that, man.

Spiritual Warfare and Preparation: The Importance of Community

And, man, I promise you that year, we’re going to every church service we could find, you know, trying to get her healed. Like, you know, I just want to be in the presence of God. The crazy thing is if I don't know what I know now, but God had a planning in all, and she's up there, she's waiting and cheering us on, you know? Now it’s my job to get where she’s at. So I just pray I can make it, man.

But yeah, it’s very important. I’m sorry I veered off on all those things, but it’s very important that you have to separate yourself from people, man, because, you know, you can't, it’s the world doesn’t want you to succeed. The enemy definitely doesn’t want you to succeed. And the enemy, he’s crafty. If you give him a crack, if you give him an inch, he’s going to come in through the cracks, I promise you. And that's why you got to stay armored up and stay in your Word. And you won't have to stay away from the people always. God saved you so you can go back and bring them out.

The Balance of Influence and Protection

But you’re not going to be able to instantly do that because temptation is a very real thing, you know? And you're drawn away, the Bible says we’re drawn away by our own lust and desires, you know what I mean? And God took that away, but if I go put myself in that environment again, constantly hang out there, then you know, I’m real susceptible to fall. It's going to be easy for me to try some of those things and fall back into that trap. So I would recommend anybody, man, if you’re coming off the dope or you’re trying to get off the dope, change your circle up. Surround yourself, get you some friends like the people that carried this man to Jesus.

Faith in Action: Going Beyond the Walls

The house was so packed they couldn't get to them. You got to get you some friends that won't give up and climb the roof, climb the roof with you, you know what I'm saying? Get you some friends that are tearing through the roof and get you to the feet of Jesus. Surround yourself with people like that, man, because when you do that, I promise you, you’ll get your healing. Because if you think about that story, when they lowered them down, Jesus never pointed to the man and said, by your faith, you’re healed. You know what he did? He pointed to his friends and said, by their faith, you're healed.

You know what I'm saying? And that’s a powerful thing. Surround yourself with people who are willing to take you to the feet of Jesus, man. And if you do that, I promise you things are going to turn around in your life. So was that difficult, that process of just cutting everybody off? Like, you know, I know some people have a hard time with that. We used to run the rehab program all the time, and I would call it superman syndrome.

Wrestling with Change and Personal Transformation

You know, it would come from a good place. They'd be motivated and passionate in Jesus and then want to run right back into the fire and try to rescue everybody before they have learned how to navigate the fire, you know? And a lot of people struggle with that. And it starts out in a good spot. You know, I’m going to the old neighborhood. I’m going to the old houses to try to minister to people. But then like you’ve mentioned a few minutes ago, our own lust and our desires draw us away while we’re in those places.

And so how difficult was that for you to make that decision? I mean, was it for you just, you know what? I know this is what I got to do. I’ve got to work in the Lord and whatever the cost, I'm going after it. Or was there some wrestling that was going on on the inside while you were walking that out? Man, for me totally honest, bro, I was done. I, man, it was easy for me. Man, like, I hit rock bottom. Like, I know for a fact. Like, there's not a doubt in my mind that if I were to continue in dope, I wouldn't have lived another six months.

The Shift from Addiction to Purpose

You know what I'm saying? Like, I know that! I could just feel it, man. I felt death around the corner, like literally. And so for me, it was just like, man, God, I want something new. And when I tasted it and seen, like when I showed up to that church and he showed up and showed out, like, man, you know, it's like Peter, where I'm going, Lord? You got the words of life like, where else I'm gonna go? You know what I'm saying? Like, you’re so good.

Anchored in Faith While Navigating Challenges

And, you know, the dope thing about that too is, I forgot to mention, you know, I come to find out that November 7th is one of my favorite pastor’s birthdays, which is Billy Graham. So, you know, Billy Graham was born November 7th. So, I was delivered November 7th. And that’s the person I looked to to model my ministry after, after, man, because he sold, he was above reproach. You never heard a scandal come out of Billy Graham's ministry.

You know what I’m saying? Like, you know, all these other pastors, you might have heard scandals and some rightly so, some not, but Billy Graham, you never heard a scandal come out of his ministry. And he was above reproach. Never was alone with a female in a room alone. You know? He had somebody that was accountability. Like, that’s how I try to structure and model my ministry, man, because the devil's crafty, man. And especially when you're like us, you're out here speaking truth.

The Fighter's Heart: The Reality of Spiritual Battle

And I’ll tell people all the time, you know they had a meeting about you this morning. You know? Like, yeah, the demons, they were in a boardroom meeting, how can I get these folks to fall to that? You know what I'm saying? They had a meeting about you. Like, so, you know, God is going to allow some things to come, but he also will strengthen you. And he gave you everything you need to succeed. He said greater is he that is in me than he that is in the world. That means the spirit that we got, man, it’s greater than any spirit the demon can conjure up, man.

There’s nothing they can throw at us if we really believe in this Jesus that we claim to serve because man, he said with God, all things are possible. You know what I’m saying? So like, but you got to be with God. You know what I’m saying?

Embracing the Journey of Transformation

Yeah, that’s really good. Thank you. No, I was just going to say, man, you were talking about the whole suffering with joy and watching that in your family member and your aunt. And I, you know, I remember seeing that in my grandmother when she passed away, she had cancer and, oh man, never, never complained, you know, near the end. She just, and I saw her the night before she went home to be with Jesus. And I’ll never forget going into the living room and talking to her. I was living at her house at the time, and I was saved, and she got to see me get my life together and all that as well.

But I remember going to see her and talking to her, and I just got home from choir practice. I was still trying to be on the choir at the church back then. That was a terrible decision. But man, I was on fire and just excited to do anything and everything. I know that’s right, even if that was singing when I couldn’t sing. And I got home from choir practice and I had that conversation with my grandmother. She said, I can't wait till I get to sing in the choir again. She went home to be with Jesus that night, but you shared that story about your aunt. You know, just as God’s got a whole meal on the other side of this. He’s going to heal me and it's coming.

The Challenge of Suffering in Worship

But there was just that suffering with joy. Yes. And I think that's something that's lost in the Christian faith a lot, you know, and modern times is like, there’s a lot of prosperity, and God wants to bless us, and I don't think He means for us all to be in poverty. Like there’s the extreme on both sides of it, but we don’t hear the discussion about, you know, maybe the call is to learn how to suffer with joy, right? If that was the pathway out for our Savior, you know, like, you know, and so I would just love to hear your thoughts and elaborate on that a little bit, like, you know, what did her example teach you, you know, in regards to how you carry out your day to day and being able to face whatever comes your way with joy.

Embracing the Gift of Suffering

Hey, man, yeah, man, just, I mean, she affected me so much. Like, man, I give my number out to addicts all over the country, man. And I'm like, man, I don’t care what time it is, you know, call me. I literally just this past weekend, I think it was Saturday morning, man. I didn’t get to bed till probably two in the morning. I get up to go use a restroom for the morning and it’s one of my friends, you know, a brother of mine who’s kind of falling back and he’s calling me, and I knew exactly what it was. I picked up the phone and stayed on the phone with him for two hours, man, just praying with him, loving on him, telling him not to give up, keep going.

Like, literally, this just happened this weekend. Like, I was on FaceTime with him because, you know, he’s scared, he’s, you know, he’s out of his mind. And so I was telling my wife, I said, it’s so awesome. Now I get to be that person for people. You know what I’m saying? Like, I had that person, now I get to be that. You know what I mean? And that’s just me, man. Like, people are like, man, you get people, you know what I mean? It’s like, man, bro, like, you don’t understand.

The Call to the Lost: Answering the Hunger for Healing

Like, I needed somebody to talk to when I was on this stuff, bro. And I know they do, too. So for me, it's a no brainer. Like, here’s my number. If you feel like you’re about to use, if you’re in the middle of a drug binge or whatever, and you just need somebody to talk to, call me. Don’t understand that we hope they do it before they go use. Because I always tell them, like, call me before. If you feel like you want to go use, call me before. Let’s pray out of it. Let’s pray you down.

But even if you do use, if you feel you need somebody to talk to, call me. I’ll stay on the phone with you however long you need me to, you know what I'm saying? Because I signed up for this, you know what I’m saying? This is my life. And this is what I’m called to. And so, man, that just impacted me in that way so much, man, just to see her like that.

The Authenticity of Ministering to the Wounded

And she had stage four cancer doing all of this, you know? And then just to see her, just, I mean, like, you ask anybody about my aunt Pat that knows her, and like, man, her funeral, like, it was packed in there because she was just so loving, and like, her laughter, man, like God just gave her a gift of laughing. Like, bro, I just missed that laugh. One day, I can’t wait to get there and that's going to be the first thing I hear already, you know? Craig, you know what I mean? I’ll be like, man, yeah, so, uh, man.

The Radiance of Hope in Faithful Lives

But just to watch her, uh, like, literally, but then not herself, man, and, and, and suffer, like you said, with the joy. And then all honesty, like, of course, like you said, God’s gonna prosper us. He said, above all, I wish that they’ll prosper even as your soul prosperous. You know what I’m saying? Like, first of all, you got to be growing, you got to be growing spiritually for you can even think about prosperity. But God never promised us that. What He did promise us was suffering. Like, He promised us suffering, man.

But he said, take heart, I’ve overcome the world so you can too. Like, we’re going to suffer. He suffered. They did it to him. He tells us every day, deny yourself and take up your cross. Take it up your cross means you’re headed to Calvary. Yeah, you’re getting beat, you’re getting bruised. You’re getting bruised. Like, taking up your cross, that’s not no easy thing. Like, every day you’re walking up the hill to Calvary with him, you know what I'm saying?

Walking through Trials with Enduring Strength

In that to crucify your flesh. You know what I’m saying? And so it’s going to be some tough times, man. But I think we should, like James said, count it all joy because all the time, it is that it's working our faith and working our patience. It’s building us. We go from faith to faith, from glory to glory. We can’t stay in the same place. You know what I mean? And that’s my motto, man, like every day I’m like, God, I got to be better than I was yesterday. You know what I'm saying?

We might not get it up right every day, but you know what I'm saying? That’s why it’s a beautiful thing that we have a Savior who has grace and His mercy is new each morning. You know what I’m saying?

The Gift of Grace for Every Step

Right, right, right.

Yeah, man. I think something that’s really worked for me, man, was the Apostle Paul when he said, godliness with contentment is great gain. Yes, sir. And I think the thing is, is that in Christianity, we don’t – we don’t have contentment anymore. It’s all right. Yeah. We heard you. Amen. Amen. That’s right. But no, honestly, guys, it’s this is huge, right? Because if I, if I can be vulnerable and transparent, I think for me, when I moved out to California, right, like I had this vision in mind, I had this idea in mind because I wasn’t content with where I was. I thought the other side — you know how they say the grass is green on the other side kind of thing.

And so like, even though God gave me the approval to move out here and I got confirmation from Him on the matter, it’s almost like He gave me the opportunity just to give it to me. Should I can see what it wasn’t though I thought it was. And so when we find for when we find fulfillment in God and in the alone, there's a piece that comes that surpasses all understanding. And I think that’s what we need to really offer to those that are struggling in addiction is because that’s what they want. They want contentment. They want to know that it’s going to be okay.

And I remember I had sleepless nights not knowing it was going to be okay. I was looking over my shoulder, left and right, and wondering, is it going to be me next because I’m lost so many friends. Right? And so just this understanding and knowing that I’ll get there. It might not be not might not be tomorrow because we’re talking about prosperity. And so the most prosperous thing, I think it’s in the book of Isaiah, but true prosperity is in Christ. It's in Christ. Everything is found in Christ. And so what we do is we look outside of Him to find things that could only be found inside of Him. Right? And that's why Paul says in Galatians 2:20, he says, I’ve been crucified with Christ. I no longer live, but it’s Christ who lives in me. Right?

The Weight of Purpose and Calling in Ministry

And I think five, man, I think that’s what’s happened with you. It wasn’t just you took six months away like you truly died when you walked through that church door and you put your face upon that altar, right? You died at that moment. Even though you struggle from day to day, you’re constantly dying, right? And now you have this newfound faith, but also you started this ministry that I like to navigate towards in our conversation and discussion is music, right? So now you’re putting to paper on pen or from pen to paper, everything that God has kind of like brought you through, man.

So if you can kind of like speak to us about that, like, I guess that’s how you’re making money now or, you know, providing for your family or, well, yeah, I mean, I mean, God provides. Yeah, right, right. Definitely, definitely a long time. This year, man, you know, God just spoke to me, man, you know, I stopped selling merch at events just because I was reading in the Word.

Trusting the Provision of God in Ministry

And this year I really wanted to trust God. And He said, He sent them two by two and told them to take nothing with them. And so, this year, man, I just been really trusting God, man. I started taking – I don’t charge your honor. Rare and many more. I just do love offering, like whatever I tell the people, just pray. God knows what I need. Whatever God number God gives you. That’s what you give me and just honor that, man. Like, you know, I don’t put a price on ministry anymore. And so, but He provides, man. And then, you know, my wife has a great job, you know, and that’s a blessing in the story and itself.

But the other music, making music, man, is really how I help provide for the family, man. And, you know, I’ve been doing this full time for 12 years now, serving the Lord, man. And He’s, you know, that scripture, I’ve never seen the righteous forsaken nor see you beg for bread. You know, that’s a real thing. You know what I’m saying? When you’re chasing God and you brought it up a while ago, you said, Matthew 6:33, seek ye first the kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you. And, you know, in layman's terms, what that means is if you chase God, you don’t got to chase things; the things you need chase you literally.

You know what I’m saying? Like, if you need a man or a woman, guess what? If you’re chasing God, God’s going to send the right man, right man or woman to chase after you. If you’re chasing God, money will chase you. I promise you, you know what I’m saying? You just have to do what He said, seek ye first the kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added. But yeah, the music thing, man, like, it’s a blessing for me, man. I use it definitely as a tool.

The Call to Ministry: Going Beyond Personal Gain

Here lately, I'll be getting more into preaching, speaking. Like, I don’t know if you've ever been to a Five event. You know, I do a lot more talking than I do music, you know? The music is just bait for me to get you there, and then I'm gonna give you my testimony, I'm gonna give you the Word. And then we're going to watch God be God and see people saved, free, man. I try to tell these folks when I go, like so this tour I'm doing right now is called Heart of Worship. I just believe we need to get back to worship, man, and one of core, because anytime you read the Bible where it says they were found in one mind and one accord, it’s followed by the Spirit of the Lord that moved mightily. You know, when they were in the upper room, it says 120 of them were there in one mind and one accord.

Igniting the Fire: The Call to Genuine Worship

And the Spirit of the Lord moves so mightily, 3,000 people came to know the Lord that day, from 120 people being in one mind, one accord. I think a lot of times these days, people come to church because it’s the right thing to do, or they come to church because it’s something they’ve been taught to do. You know, some people come to church so they don’t get talked about, you know what I’m saying? But then you got to, the flip side of that where people don’t come to church because they’ve been taught about it, you know what I’m saying?

But I always try to tell people if you're coming to any time you're coming to a gathering of believers, if you’re coming for anything other than to meet with Jesus, then you’re coming for the wrong reasons. You know what I’m saying? If you’re not coming to meet with Jesus, then I really don’t need you there because the people I’m trying to reach and I'm trying to touch, they need, they need the believers to be in one mind and one accord because if we could get there, if we could come in on one accord, the believers in the room, I promise you, 3,000 can get saved; everybody can get saved.

The Heart of Worship: Reviving True Purpose

But I feel like we live in a time in age where everybody’s trying to build their own kingdom, man. And it’s a sad thing, man, and I'm, you know, so this tour I'm doing just heart of worship is trying to bring people back to that. Like, bro, let's focus on the main thing. I’m coming back; you know, it's all about Jesus, you know? I’m sorry, Lord, for the things we've made it, but it’s all about you. Like, this ain’t about nothing but you. Like, and for me to get back to this place 12 years later, you know, to this place where, what I first got to say, and it’s just like, God, I don’t want nothing but you.

Because you know, in the midst of the journey, you can get lost in the sauce, man. You know what I'm saying? You start hanging with the big names and you start wanting to get some of these shiny things, but then when you get to the end of you, you realize, man, all that stuff didn't mean nothing, especially as a believer, bro. All I want to do right now is get back to Jesus, get back to Christ and let him know that I'm really, I really love him and I really love people and I'm here to be used. And so, that’s where I’m at right now with the music, man, and the ministry, man, just going out and being like Jesus, man.

The Call to Reach Beyond the Church Walls

Like, like Jesus wasn’t in the synagogue; he was out there with them sinners, dawg, you know what I’m saying? Like, that’s just real. Like, if Jesus was in the synagogue, he was chumping off the church, I’m sorry to go read it. He’d chump off the church and have compassion on the lost. That’s who Christ was because the problem was is they felt like they didn’t need a physician. And I feel like, you know, today we've got believers that are creating a form of godliness, but they're not a power of life. It’s different Jesus’ out here if you catch my drift, you know what I’m saying?

Like, and we need to get back to the God of the Bible, man. The God of the Bible. That's where I want to be.

Upcoming Events: Keeping the Fire Burning

You said 12 years you’ve been doing music right? 12 years and you’ve been walking this journey of faith and kept yourself from slipping into either pursuit right of the shiny things or trying to build this thing traditionally and just walking and trusting. Man, that’s phenomenal, right? I mean, that’s uncommon, I think. And so, I mean, what does that look like? I mean, I know, you know, I think about it a lot, man. I’m a father. I’ve got four girls, you know, and I’m on this ministry journey as well, but then also, yeah, so I think about that in this ministry journey, right?

Because you know, it’s like this, this balance of like providing, trusting and robbing, I talk about this a lot like, you’re trusting God to provide for us, but then also knowing we’re responsible for providing for the kids, you know? And it’s like, it’s like, okay, God, I know you got me, but I got them, you know? I’ll take care of that, you know? And that’s some of the battle. So, so how have you walked through that and been able to just keep your focus and know that, you know, this is all the Lord’s got this and He’s gonna be the one to take care of and provide, you know, as you just put your trust in Him and get focused on the heart of worship.

Navigating Responsibilities in Faith

Yeah, man, like, I mean, for me, man, like, man, I have a peace about not selling merch. Like, I don’t have to mess with it. Like, you know what I'm saying? And, uh, what really made me really want to start selling merch is, you know, most of the time I go at the end and I'm doing an altar call and I'll look up and I'll see somebody exchange the money while people are crying out to God. And that really irks my spirit, man. Like, man, if Jesus is going to flip a table at any time, bro, it’s going to be right now, man. Like, he said, my house should be a house of prayer.

You know what I'm saying? Like, and so when it's time to focus on the things of God, I believe we should be focused on the things of God, not trying to make a dollar, you know what I’m saying? You can do that after the event. So, that’s why I did, like, and for me, I always want to lead by example. I'm not finna talk about something when I’m doing it. You feel what I’m saying? I’m not finna, you know, say, oh, man, I don't want to do this.

Leading by Example: Integrity and Faith in Action

So, I try to lead by example, man, and, you know, it’s, it’s, I’m taking the financial hit, but not really though, because God has provided everything I need, man. Like, I'll give you one testimony, right? And so I was going to Montana, probably about a month and a half ago, I had a three-day event in Montana, and I’m not, you know, putting all these names or nothing out there, but I already knew it’s going to be little to nothing that they were going to bless me with, you know, because he had already told me that they’re bringing Jeremy Camp and they got to raise $40,000.

So, I’m like, oh, man, you know, you got to raise this. So, you know, and this was for another concert. So, I told my wife, I’m like, you know, it’s all good. I know this weekend's not going to be very fruitful as far as financially, but we’re storing up treasure in heaven anyway, so let's get it. And so, I go to the airport and I usually buy my flight, you know, a day before because I don't want to just fly in and go straight into ministry. And so, I had a layover in Salt Lake City, right?

Divine Provision in the Midst of Uncertainty

And so, I’m sitting there at the layover and the woman comes up to me and she’s like, hey, sir, we overbooked this flight. Do you mind if we give you $2,000 to get off? And I’m like, travel credits? And she’s like, no, we’re going to give you $2,000 cash. And I’m like, oh, yeah, I’m off. You know what I'm saying? Like, this literally having Delta, this is a true story. Like, Delta literally gave me $2,000 to take an early flight the next morning, right?

So, they give me the money, they give me a nice hotel. I was actually able to pick. I don’t tell people the best hotel; they put me up. And then the next morning, I told my wife, I was talking to her, she was like tripping. She’s like, what? Like, you see, I was like, bro, I told you God’s going to take care of it. And I was like, I bet you they put me in first class. Like, I was just joking.

So, I get on the plane and guess where I went? First class. Tell it! You know what I'm saying? Like, God, it for me, I felt like that was just God saying, I got you, sir. Don’t worry about it. You know what I mean? Like, let me have, let me have a great profound moment at this time.

Trusting God in the Journey

Yeah, that’s awesome. Great profound moment. No, you know, it’s really cool that you stayed at because I was telling somebody the other day and I stole this from somebody. So, I don’t have rights to this. But a gentleman came up to me. He says, hold on, you’re 34 years old. He says, have you ever gone without? And I look back and I was like, how did you make it this far? And when you begin to actually think about it, you’ve been provided for your whole entire life. You’re always, your circumstance in situations that might not be in alignment with what you believe it should be.

But the fact of the matter is, is you’re always taking care of it. We’re always taking care of it. Even he says he reigns on a just and the unjust and the unjust. Yes, sir, both. And so we get it twisted as believers. Oh, snap. So God, God will never let me go through that. It’s like, hold up. My wife had two miscarriages, two back to back, one nearly, one nearly killed her. And then I had two beautiful girls right after that. But God did something in my wife during that season. It was necessary for her to go through the miscarriages in order for us to get our two beautiful daughters today.

Divine Timing: God's Design in Suffering

I will, I’ll never forget the moment. I was weeping before the presence of God. And the song came off by Revelation Worship, Do it again. Do it again, sir. And so I don’t know who I’m speaking to right now. But God will do it again. Yes. So fix your wrong and make it right. Like, he wants to take work. The circumstance and the situation time and time again. Five. We’ve had so corny. We’ve had so many people on this show. And God did it again. He is not a man that he shall lie. Trust in Jesus. Yes. Trust in Jesus.

Wow, man. Rob keeps prophesying. That’s the third week in a row with the prophecy for the audience. He just keeps laying it down. I love it. I love it. I’m in awe, Five, of where you’re at today because your story alone holds more than you realize. Ministers to mine and my situation, but not only that man, this is ministering to both Justin and I because of where we’re going with this podcast.

And what you’re doing, we wanted to like try to bring forth resources and all these things. And I’m speaking out of turn probably. And this is live. I don’t care. But God has really put a shift in us. And we’re just like, look, man, let’s just put out the content. Everything will come. And the reason why we wanted resources is so that we can bless people and put them through programs and buy their plane tickets and buy their bus tickets, right? But God knows our heart. And he will bring forth those resources in due season.

Walking in Faith: Positioned for Growth

I think it’s when you let go is when God begins to multiply. It don’t make sense, man. It’s His man. You know what I mean? It don’t make sense. And our logical mind cannot comprehend the mind of God. It’s the mind. He said, except a seed falling a ground and die, it produces no fruit. So, that’s your letting go. You know, once we let go, right? It could produce some fruits. You know what I'm saying? Just trust God, man. I know God’s going to take this thing further than you guys could ever imagine, man. It’s good stuff, bro. And people need this type of stuff, especially people that come from what we come from and people that just need to know that they’re loving, that there’s hope.

And so, Five, man, it really stirs me up to know this. We have reached a certain point, but I cannot stand complacency anymore. My calling is to go beyond the comfort zone, and I know that God has positioned you in that way too. And so, Five man, if you could just kind of bring us home with some final thoughts, man. And, once again, will you share how people can get connected with you, your music, your ministry, all of it, man?

The Path Forward: Encouragement to Keep Fighting

Yeah, man. So, I’ve got a website, Ijustwantfive.com. You can just find me there and all my music, everything is there. I’m on all platforms, all social media platforms. You can find me, just look up Five. But man, my heart is for the hurting, man. You know, my heart is for people that are struggling, you know? And if you’re struggling, man, reach out. You know, don’t hesitate to reach out because you can ask me any questions. You could call me or just shoot me a message, and I’ll try to respond as quick as I can, man, because that’s just my heart's desire.

One thing I’ve learned too is that I love to measure what it takes to get to heaven. One day I’ll be standing before the Lord, and I want it to be said of me that I was a good steward of what He gave me, you know, as far as every gift that I have. And so that’s going to come off in my music, in my life, in my family, in my relationships. So, you know, glory to God for all of that because He’s the one that lifted me out of my mess, you know? That’s what I want to point others to, man.

Closing remarks: The Promise of Purpose

Trust Jesus, man. I know how hard it is, but trust Him in your journey right now. God bless you. I promise you the tooth is going to be worth it. Like they said, success is often just on the other side of failure. Sometimes it feels like you’re flagging in the flag, but you just need to press deeper. So, that’s what I want to encourage you all. Thank you guys for having me. It’s an honor.

Well, we’re grateful, man. Thank you for sharing your story with us today and just allowing God to move. We’re looking forward to continuing to pray for you and your journey. And for those who are watching, thank you for tuning in. We appreciate you sharing with us. Have a great day!