Courageous Courtney: From Trauma to Triumph Over Addiction

From Molestation to Addiction

Okay, so my name is Courtney Briggs and I'm from Lubbock, Texas. I'm a single mom of two awesome kiddos. You know, I was raised in the church. My grandparents were pastors. So, you know, I'm kind of a grandkid of a pastor. And so at a young age, I was molested by my stepdad and it went on for about seven years. And I began my addiction, you know, marijuana, cocaine, alcohol, just to numb the pain and the monster that was inside of me.

So I started doing drugs about 13 years old. I joined a gang just to rebel against the call on my life that the Lord called me. I did drugs for many, many years. I then got involved in methamphetamines. And when I got involved with methamphetamines, I began to cook it, sell it, everything in between with the methamphetamines. And that's where my life took a turn for the worst.

I was getting in trouble, in and out of jail. Since I was 13, I was in and out of jail. Because of that seed that was planted in my life of molestation, that was when the enemy took hold of my life. We moved here to Texas because we lived in New Mexico for a while. We moved back to Texas and just ripping and running the streets. And I ended up getting back involved with selling drugs again.

The Breaking Point and Surrender

I started shooting up methamphetamines and one day in a hotel, I ended up homeless. I ended up losing my children. I lost everything. I burned all the bridges in my life. Nobody wanted me around anymore. And one day in a hotel, I was fixing to shoot up a whole gram of methamphetamines. And the Lord, I started telling God, okay, this is it. If you don't do something, I'm going to take my life.

Well, you know what they say, be careful what you pray for. I ended up getting busted. I ended up getting busted and sent to jail. That same day, it was about an hour after the fact that I told God this. And that's where my life changed for the good.

Inside the jail, I just began to start my walk with the Lord. I totally surrendered my life to him. I was a crazy woman inside the jailhouse. And God just did so many miracles within those jail walls that if I told you people don't believe me, the extraordinary things that happened inside that jail. The Lord came to me and He showed me myself, all of the bad things that happened, everything that was terrible in my life.

And He showed me a vision that He destroyed it, took everything and destroyed it under the blood. And then He began to take the darkness out of me. And then when He was doing that, He was putting light within me. And ever since then, I tested the Lord. I knew that He was going to restore to me what the locust ate, what the enemy stole from me, all those years of lost time and lost value in my life. The Lord just returned it back.

Nine Years Clean - Staying High on the Most High

I am now nine years clean and sober. And the way that I kept myself out of that addiction is I kept myself and I surrounded myself with a community of believers. And I would not ever speak curses over myself. Well, I'm an addict. I would just say I'm set free. You know, I got completely delivered while I was incarcerated.

And when I got out, I just clung to God. I began to go to every Bible study, every deliverance weekend, everything that I could to build myself up and build myself into the Lord. I did everything that I could. I mean, just as much willpower as I did in my addiction, I gave that willpower to following the Lord and following what he had for my life.

Like I said earlier, I lost my children and that was the most heartbreaking thing that I went through of losing my kids and having to fight for them back. And God, I held God's promise. I said, you told me that you will restore everything that was taken for me and my children were taken from me and I need you to fight for me.

And I always go back to the story of how they walked around the wall at Jericho and they just were praising God and they were declaring his promises. And that's what I would do all the time. I would, God, this is what you said. I'm not going to, this wall is not going to stop me. And so it was the hardest thing I ever did. Those first couple of years is to stay sober because my kids were gone.

Anybody would go back to addiction because you've got that poor me. Oh my gosh, my life is in shambles. My kids are, I might as well just go get high. But I began to get high on the most high. I stayed high on Jesus and I did not stop. I didn't stop. It was like an adrenaline rush for me. I kept on, oh, I'm going to get high on the most high today because listen, he is the greater I am and I trust him.

From Victim to Victorious - Speaking Life

So I began that walk and God began to open doors for me to where I can go back in that place, back into the jail and share my story with these women. That there is life after addiction. There is love. You are worthy. You don't have to feel unworthy because God's called you worthy. And I just started sharing my story.

During one of the weekends of going to these deliverance weekends, we learned to write down self affirmations. I am beautiful. I am loved. I am set free. I am not a victim. I am a victor. So I spoke life to myself. I spoke life over myself. I spoke life in my mind. I kept every day I had it written on my mirror when I wake up. You are worthy. You are set free. You are redeemed.

And I just kept speaking life to my spirit and my spirit, man, then I got hold of that and it just flourished within my spirit. And then I started to believe it because what the enemy does, he makes you believe that you're a victim and you're never going to make it. You're going to always be a felon. I'm a three-time felon. But in my mind, I'm like, no, I'm not a child of the most high God.

What door that the man closes, God is always going to bust open. So I just, it was a long time before I believed what I was speaking over myself. I'm going to tell you, it was about a couple of years until I believed, but it was a constant me speaking life to myself. Every single day. Every single day.

The Process of Forgiveness

That took a little longer because like I said, I went through that whole deliverance thing. I just started speaking about what happened to me when I was 30. When I turned 30, I went through all of that. It was like unpacking like an onion, the layers. Here's one layer. I dealt with the unforgiveness towards myself first. Because I felt like I had to forgive myself for what I did in my life and teach my kids and everything.

So I had to forgive myself. Then there's another layer of forgiving my mother for not knowing what was going on with me. Then I had to forgive, you know, I was in an abusive relationship and I had to forgive him for the things. And I would kind of argue with God and I'm like, no, I want to deal with that. Come on honey, you got to deal with this. No, it's okay. It's fine. I don't want to deal with that.

And it wasn't until I was 30 at a weekend, the deliverance weekend, that it was just, he just boom in my face. Okay, daughter, you have got to deal with this. Because I can't move forward with your life and your blessings if you do not deal with this. So it was like a stern daddy voice and I was like, okay, I'm going to get after it.

And so I wailed and I cried and I squalled and I screamed at the top of my lungs. I forgive him. I forgive him for what he did to me as a little girl. I forgive him. God, please set me free because I was still bound to that. I wanted to push it away and not think of it. And he said, now it's time to expose it. Now it's time to share what's happened to you.

And I'm going to give you the strength and the endowings to be able to speak about it without getting emotional. And I'm going to use that as a story and a miracle in other people's lives that have gone through it. And so now I'm able to speak about this without getting emotional, without thinking about it in a victim mindset. I can share it and you will be surprised when I go into the jails, how many women, because I share this, how many women go through this without saying a word because you're ashamed, you're embarrassed, you feel like you did something wrong.

And I love to help these women see that they did nothing wrong. It's not their fault. And to speak their truth on it because you'll get freedom when you speak your truth. But it was very hard for me to forgive him. And still it is to this day, I have to wake up sometimes and I'm like, you know, when I see stuff on the news about people being victimized, and Holy Spirit is like, okay, I think you need to say, okay, I forgive him once again. You got to, sometimes it's a daily, I forgive them, I forgive them, I forgive them, you know what I mean.

Fighting for My Children Back

So what was the process like Courtney getting your children back? Okay, so my son, he and his dad and I, nobody had custody. And so I had to go through the whole thing. He was the easier one. My oldest not so much, but my son was the easiest to get back because nobody had custody. So I drew up papers that I had to get custody of him. And I began to pray. I began to say, okay, God, you are my warrior. You're going to fight for me. And I went through the whole legal battle.

See, his dad is on methamphetamines till this day. And at that time, he had my son and he wouldn't give him back. And so I had to go through the legal part, going through legal aid and getting some help because I did not have the money at the time for a lawyer. I just got out of jail. I was just getting my life back together. And long story short, I filed for custody.

My son, I called CPS on his dad and we went through the whole drug testing. I got drug tested, hair follicle, did a home visit and all this stuff. And I finally got custody of him. And they gave me the go and I went and picked up my son from the daycare that they had dropped him off at. And so I just, I went and got my son. And I've had him, gold custody, oh man, about eight years.

Then it was the hard process because when I was incarcerated, my daughter's uncle sued me for custody. And I obviously I lost custody of her. So there was court in play like I didn't have custody. I was having to pay child support. I was having to have visits with her. And it was just a hard time because they were rude to me.

And that was another thing that was really hard for me to not go back to the lifestyle because of the treatment that I was being given. People are going to continue to speak over your life that you're this and you're that because of your past. But I didn't let that stop me.

There was one day where I was visiting with my daughter and her aunt said that she was her mom and I'm not her mom. And she made my daughter call her mom in front of me. And the flesh, I'm gonna say my flesh rose up and I wanted to punch her in the face. And the Lord told me right then and there, I'm going to fight for you. I'm going to fight for you, you will get her back.

God Showed Out and Showed Himself Faithful

So I trusted the Lord and I never went any more to the meetings and stuff. Well, I ended up having to hire a lawyer and it cost me some money, but God provided the money to hire a lawyer. And through that whole time, my lawyer is saying Courtney, it's been three years that you haven't seen her and you haven't had custody. He said, it's going to be really hard to get her back.

And I stopped him and I said, no, God told me, God showed me a vision that he is going to use you to fight for me and get custody back of my daughter. Yes, it was another year or so of battling and just continuing that path because I believe what God said. So the moral of this story is don't listen to what man says. You listen to what God says because he says in Joel 2:25 and 26, I will restore what the locust ate. I stood on that scripture.

I stood on that scripture and I fought it with praying, with declaring God's word. And it was the funniest thing. I was on my way to a church meeting and I get a phone call from my lawyer. And he says, you're never going to believe this. And I said, what am I getting a visit or you know, and I get to see her. He said, no, they said they don't want to fight with you anymore. They're just going to give her back to you.

And I began to cry and I said, I told you so. I told you so. Don't you ever doubt Jesus. And I'm telling you that that lawyer gave his life to Jesus because of the story. Because of my situation, he said, my gosh, I know God is real. And so because of my boldness and me speaking scripture over my situation, God showed out and he showed himself faithful to the lawyer.

And I got my daughter back and I've had my kids. And you know, it's just so cool to be able to just show what God can do when you trust in him and get out of the way. When you get yourself out of the way, he's going to show up and show out.