Courageous Courtney: From Trauma to Triumph Over Addiction

okay so my name is Courtney Briggs and I'm from Lubbock Texas I'm a single mom of two awesome kiddos I was raised in the church my grandparents were Pastor so I'm a grandkid of a pastor and so at a young age I was molested by my stepdad and and it went on for about seven years and I began my addiction marijuana cocaine alcohol just to numb the pain and the monster that was inside of me so I started doing drugs about 13 years old I joined a gang just to rebel against the call of my on my life that the Lord called me and I did drugs for many years I then got involved in methamphetamines and when I got involved with methamphetamines I began to cook it sell it everything in between with the methamphetamines and that's where my life took a turn for the worst I was getting in trouble in and out of jail since I was 13 I was in and out of jail in and out because of that seed that was planted in my life of molestation that was when the enemy took hold of my life and we moved here to Texas because we lived in New Mexico for a while we moved back to Texas and does ripping and running the streets and I ended up getting back involved with selling drugs again and anyway I started shooting up methamphetamines and one day in a hotel I was I ended up homeless I ended up losing my children I lost everything I burned all the bridges in my life nobody wanted me around anymore and one day in a hotel I was fixing to shoot up a whole gram of methamphetamines and the Lord I started telling God okay this is it if you don't do something I'm gonna take my life well what they say be careful what you pray for be careful what you pray for I ended up getting busted I ended up getting busted and got sent to jail that same day it was about an hour after the fact that I told God this and that's where my life changed for the good inside the jail I just began to start my walk with the Lord I totally surrendered my life to him I was a crazy inside the jail house and God just did so many miracles with within those jail walls that if I told you people don't believe me that the extraordinary things that happened inside of that jail the Lord came to me and he showed me myself all of the bad things that happened everything that was terrible in my life and he showed me a vision that he destroyed it took everything and destroyed it under the blood and then he began to take the darkness out of me and then when he was doing that he was putting Light Within Me and ever since then I trusted the Lord I knew that he was going to restore to me what the Locust ate what the enemy stole from me all those years of lost time and lost value in my life the Lord just returned it back I am now nine years clean and sober and the way that I kept myself out of that that addiction is I kept myself and I surrounded myself with a community of Believers and I would not ever speak curses over myself well I'm an addict I would just say I'm set free I got completely delivered while I was incarcerated and when I got out I just trusted God I began to go to Every Bible study every Deliverance weekend everything that I could to build myself up and build myself into the Lord I did everything that I could just as much willpower as I did in my addiction I gave that willpower to following the Lord and following what he had for my life so like I said earlier I lost my children and that was the most heartbreaking thing that I went through of losing my kids and having to fight for them back and God I held God's promise I said you told me that you will restore everything that was taken from me and my children were taken from me and I need you to fight for me and I always go back to the story of how they walked around the wall at Jericho and they just were praising God and they were declaring his promises and and that's what I would do all the time I would God this is what you said I'm I'm not gonna this wall is not gonna stop me and so it was the hardest thing I ever did those first couple of years is to stay sober because of my kids were gone anybody would go back to addiction because you've got that poor me I oh my gosh my life is in scandals I my kids are I might as well just go get high but I began to get high on the most high I stayed high on Jesus and I did not stop I didn't stop it was like an adrenaline rush for me I kept on I'm gonna get high on the most high today because listen he is The Great I Am and I trust him and I trust him so I began that walk and God began to open doors for me to where I could go back in that place back into the jail and share my story with these women that there is life after addiction there is life you are worthy you don't have to feel unworthy because God's told you were you and I just started sharing my story and guys it to man it was impossible for me to get my children back I went to the courts of Heaven and I said God you told me you were gonna restore these babies so I'm trusting you some more or less I put my whole self I died to myself and I said God do what you said you're gonna do my Deliverance I trust you with that I trust you with my whole life so let me ask you a question you said you made a statement there at the end about not being a victim right and getting a Victorious mindset but early on in your testimony you talked about being victimized for a substantial amount of time which was really the root in the beginning of all of this for you and so I know that's a difficult question to ask on but how did you get from that place because you had been victimized right that was it shouldn't have happened to you to being able to move forward in that mindset to get healing and be able to confidently now on the other side of it say hey this happened to me but I'm I'm not a victim any longer what did that process look like for you Courtney okay so during one of the weekends of like I said earlier about going to these Deliverance weekends we learned to write down self affirmations I am beautiful I am loved I am set free I am not a victim I am a Victor so I spoke life to myself I spoke life over myself I spoke life in my mind I kept every day I had it written on my mirror when I wake up you are worthy you are set free you are redeemed and I just kept speaking life to my spirit and my spirit man then got hold of that and at this flourished within my spirit and then I started to believe it because what the enemy does he makes you believe that you're a victim and you're you're never gonna make it you're gonna always be a felon I'm a three-time felon but in my mind I'm like no I'm not a child of the most high God what door that the a man closes God is always going to bust open so I just it was a long time before I believed what I was speaking over myself I'm gonna tell you it was about a couple of years until I believed but it was a constant me speaking life to myself every single day that's that's so powerful because I actually just wrote something on Facebook today about how it's only when God's seed his word dies in US that it begins to grow and so you didn't let your condition circumstances keep you bound but yet rather you said greater is he that is in me than he that is of this world and so it's so interesting because you nurtured the flesh but she nurtured the spirit you said it just a second ago right and he said it beautifully because you said you began to speak to your spirit man and as you spoke to the spirit man that's when it began to grab hold of the truth and the flesh how to conform to what was going on inside right and so it's it's amazing because I think something we are subject to the lies that the enemy Speaks Over us and we grab hold of those things as if they're truth when the reality is it's nothing but a lie and so we look at ourselves in the morning and then we also when we say man we're this and we're that and it's like who's there to stop you from speaking those things and it's you being a woman going through what she went through and coming out Victorious the way that you are is such an amazing story wow I when I think back at what God has done in my life coming from Addiction coming from being a three-time felon coming from a mom that lost her children and the stats that nobody else had that input I had that influence on myself I was like no I'm going to fight for whatever everything that I lost everything that I because it was my fault I chose to do those things and but then I began to accuse the right path and that path was very hard at first but once that I got a hang of it and I started seeing God's miracles in my life I was getting so excited every turn of the way and I knew I just knew that I knew that he was going to just be my Advocate and I just was praising him all the day long people are like oh man you can't do that or you're never gonna get him back and I'm like watch what he does and I'm gonna laugh and I'm gonna praise because he is faithful and that's exactly what he's done by the way I have my children back go ahead amen can I ask you this I'm just curious your step was your stepfather right that took advantage of you when you were a girl would you agree that it was when you began when you forgave him that you began to see some of this Victorious moments in your life or like how did that what was the transition for that right because I think we can gloss over that but I think it's really good to hit this because the Bible says for us to forgive others as we have been forgiven right and so to forgive someone that has done that to you for so many years is I would say very challenging and so hard to do and so I believe that was a pivotal thing and I could be wrong but please speak to that if you can that took a little longer because like I said I went through that whole Deliverance thing I just started speaking about what happened to me when I was 30. when I turned 30 I went through all of that it was like unpacking like an onion the layers so this is how I explain it like an onion okay here's one layer I've dealt with the unforgiveness towards myself first and he goes I felt like I had to forgive myself for what I did in my life and pooped my kids and everything so I had to forgive myself then there's another layer of forgiving my mother for not knowing what was going on with me then I had to forgive I was in an abusive relationship and I had to forgive him for the things and I would argue with God and I'm like no I don't want to deal with that come on honey you gotta deal with this no it's okay it's fine I don't want to deal with that and it wasn't until I was 30 at a weekend like like I said earlier the Deliverance weekend that it was just he just boom in my face okay daughter you have got to deal with this because I can't move forward with your life and your blessings if you do not deal with things so it was like a Stern daddy voice and I was like okay I better get after it and so I wailed and I falled and I swallowed and I screamed at the top of my lungs I forgive him for what he did to me as a little girl I forgive him God please set me free because I was still bound to that I wanted to push it away and not think of it and he said now it's time to expose it now it's time to share what's happened to you and I'm gonna give you the strength in the end going thing to be able to speak about it without getting emotional and I'm going to use that as a story and a miracle in other people's lives that have gone through it and so now I'm able to speak about this without getting emotional without thinking about it in a victim mindset I can share it and I will you'll be surprised when I go into the jails how many women because I share this how many women go through this without saying a word because you're ashamed you are embarrassed you feel like you did something wrong and I love to help these women see that they did nothing wrong they were not it's not their fault and to speak their truth on it because you'll get Freedom when you speak your truth but it was very hard for me to forgive him and still it is to this day I have to wake up sometimes and I'm like when I see stuff on the news or about people being victimized and oh man and holy spirit's life okay I think you need to say okay I forgive him once again you gotta sometimes it's a daily I forgive them what and so because this stuff is stinky this is a stinky thing what is that daily process like for you when this stuff comes back up and how practically how are you dealing with the Flesh and dealing with some of those feelings as it as you confront it throughout your day-to-day to keep that from triggering you to go back to where you were before so go to the word I go to the scripture in my favorite scripture to battle that particular emotion is first John 4. greater is he that is in me than he that is in the world Lord let me die to my flesh because today I feel like throat punching somebody and I know that's not what you want me to do God so I need you to help me be strong Philippians 4 13 oh Lord Jesus be strong for me today so that's how I do it I go back to the word and back to what I was taught in the delivery like okay man I gotta get back to this because sometimes your flesh can get in the way and you're like do I have bad days where I sure do I have bad days but then I have to repent I'm sorry Jesus please forgive me now I see that's a flaw and we need to work on that yeah so what was the process like Courtney getting your children back right practically speaking for maybe some moms out there that are jumping on and trying to figure this thing out because I know that's not an easy battle to fight and you mentioned that several times like I fought for them I fought to get them back and and so how prepping mothers that may be struggling with that and trying to go through that battle themselves how difficult was that for you and what finally happened in order to get you across the Finish Line and get them back to where you have them now okay so my son he and he his dad and I nobody had custody and so I had to go through the whole thing of he was the easier one my oldest not so much but my son was the easiest to get back because when nobody had custody so I drew up papers to that I had to get custody of him and I began to pray I began to say Okay God you are my warrior you're gonna fight for me and I went through the whole legal battle see his dad is on methamphetamines till this day and at that time he had my son and he wouldn't give him back and so I had to go through the legal part going through legal aid and getting some help because I did not have the money at the time for a lawyer I just got out of jail I was just getting my life back together and long story short I just filed for custody now this may not pertain to a lot of cases but with my daughter I'll get to that in just a second my son I called CPS on his dad and we went through the whole drug testing I've got drug tested hair follicle did a home they did a home visit and did all this stuff and I finally got custody of him and they gave me the go and I went and picked up my son from the daycare that they had dropped him off at and so I just I went and got my son and I've had him full custody oh man about eight years and so then it was the hard process because when I was incarcerated my daughter's Uncle sued me for custody and I obviously I lost custody of her so there was court and play like I didn't have custody I was having to pay child support I was having to have visits with her and it was just a hard time because they were rude to me it was just and that was another thing that was really hard for me to not go back to what not to go back to the lifestyle because of the treatment that I was being given how they were treating me you didn't care about her you're a drug addict and I didn't believe that people are going to continue to speak over your life that you're this and you're that because of your past but I didn't let that stop me there was one day where I was visiting with my daughter and the her aunt said that she was her mom and I'm not her mom and she made my daughter call her mom in front of me and the flesh I'm gonna say My Flesh rose up and I wanted to punch her in the face and the Lord told me right then and there I'm going to fight for you will get her back so I trusted the Lord and I never went any more to the meetings and stuff well I ended up having to hire a lawyer and it cost me some money but God provided the money to hire a lawyer and through that whole time my lawyer is saying Courtney it's been three years that you haven't had that you haven't seen her and you haven't had custody he said it's going to be really hard to get her back and I stopped him and I said no God told me God showed me a vision that you are he is going to use you to fight for me and get custody back of my daughter yes it was another year or so of battling and discontinuing that path because I believe what God Said So the moral of this story is don't listen to what man says you listen to what God says because he says in Joel 2 25 and 26 I will restore what the locusts have eaten I stood on that scripture and I fought it with praying with declaring God's word and it was the funniest thing I was on my way to a church meeting and I get a phone call from my lawyer and he says you're never going to believe this and I said what am I getting a visit or am I getting to see her he said no they said they don't want to fight with you anymore they're just going to give her back to you and I began to cry and I said I told you so don't you ever doubt Jesus and I'm telling you that lawyer gave his life to Jesus because of the story I because of my situation he said my gosh I know God is real and so because of my boldness and me speaking scripture over my situation God showed out and he showed himself faithful to the lawyer and I got my daughter back and I've had my kids and it's just so cool to be able to just show what God can do when you trust in him and get out of the way when you get yourself out of the way he's gonna show up and show up